Announcement: Christmas day was very productive for me when I posted my poem titled Touch Phobia on my website, blacksugar, where it highlights my growing revelation with intimacy, societal conformities and sexual identity. And yeah, I’m promoting myself. What’s good? It’s the cheering season!
And speaking of cheering, sort of, Joe Hendry was here singing a Christmas roasting song for The Miz. The whole joke about Miz having “tiny balls” overplayed in the tune Hendry was indulging himself in accompanied by a cast of people. At some point, Miz interrupted the… festivities with his Grinch energy, and rightfully so because the song was, indeed, off-putting. It went on for far too long…
I spoke too early since they resumed the song once Miz came out. He and Hendry later engaged in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight that I can’t say I was into. Since anything goes as Willy Scott from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom would say, Joe used a kendo stick to deliver a low-blow to Miz on the main floor after he kicked Tozawa in the face.
Hendry had Otis, Tozawa and the Easter Bunny helping make Miz look like an even bigger idiot than previous. And low and behold, of course, R-Truth was revealed to be the Bunny as he initiated the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Miz before he felt the sting of a guitar slamming on his back and buried through a table by Hendry. This was embarrassing…
Charlotte Flair vs. Lash Legend
This has been an intriguing match thus far, sanctioning this fight I didn’t see coming was a gift. Flair was perched at the top as she leaped in with a crossbody onto Legend and continued with the assault with numerous chops to the chest. What happened next surprised the 14-time Champion when she was looking for her vintage clothesline and got floored by Lash’s pump kick.
Legend hoisted Flair up for a powerbomb, Charlotte escaped through the back door with a sunset flip that nearly got her the win. Flair blocked Lash with a kick, so Legend retaliated with a clothesline. Hoping for the Lash Extension, Flair reversed the advantage with a DDT. She went on to do a Moonsault, but it wasn’t sufficient. So, she attacked Lash’s knee, to which Corey Graves pointed that she should have done so earlier.
Just as Charlotte was about to deliver the Figure 4, Nia Jax climbed onto the apron to distract her long enough for Legend to kick her in the butt. Alexa Bliss saw this and attacked Jax by jumping onto her back. Meanwhile inside the ring, Flair shocked Legend with a sudden roll up.
Post match, Bliss and Flair aren’t the only team confident they’ll win the Women’s Tag Team titles from the Kabuki Warriors when the teams of Rhea Ripley and Iyo Sky, Lash Legend and Nia Jax are also vining for those Championships. Nick Aldis made the decision that prior to any one of these teams’ title matches, they’ll be entering a 8-Women Tag Team fight next week.
Winner: Charlotte Flair
Since I love surprises, Trick Williams was here tonight per invitation from Aldis. He mentioned that RAW was ready to add him to the lineup, but he’s willing to see whether Aldis could match that offer. I’m not sure what Nick’s thoughts were on that, but Cody Rhodes just had to interrupt at that very moment to ask if Drew McIntyre apologized to Dan Engler and paid the fine yet. He hasn’t, and Rhodes didn’t understand the need for diplomacy despite the fact that he oozes diplomacy. Williams left the room for a little bit when he realized that he’s the hottest free agent in the game, so dismissing him like that didn’t sit right with him. He warned Rhodes that if he’s welcomed to the blue brand, he bother hold onto that title real tight.
Carmelo Hayes vs. Ilja Dragunov (c) – US Championship match
Since making his debut on SmackDown, Hayes was a Champion waiting for a belt around his waist. It was simply a matter of time. As I suspected, after helping Ilja Dragunov a couple of times, Carmelo finally got his rematch and hopes for there to be no backstage tantrums. It’s a wonder that Melo had enough in him to topple the Mad Dragon as he proceeded to swing repeated blows to Ilja’s abdomen to no avail as the champ shoved him towards the ropes for a superplex.
Looking for the H-Bomb, Hayes got his knees up, so Ilja had to readjust with a stomp to the face. Damn, was that painful to look at. I can’t even imagine how that felt… Dragunov nearly retained with a choke slam. None of these worked, so Ilja tried to perform another superplex, to which Hayes turned it into a super cutter. Because it took a while for Carmelo to reach Dragunov for a cover, Ilja was able to kick out, surprising everyone.
Later on, Melo wanted to perform a DDT on the apron, Ilja countered and proceeded to headbutt him multiple times like an angry machine that’s malfunctioning. The tug-of-war ended when Ilja drove Carmelo onto the apron. When hope seemed dim for the fans, Hayes revived himself and caught Ilja with the First 48 just as the champ was coming down from the top. Nothing but Net awarded Hayes with that long-awaited Championship.
Winner: Carmelo Hayes
Giulia & Kiana James vs. Alba Fyre & Chelsea Green – Tag Team match
It was only for a second that Alba had the upper hand on Kiana, however, James turned it around real fast when she denied that incoming DDT and bulldozed through Fyre in the corner like a mad bull. To reestablish herself, Alba delivered a massive Super Kick to the jaw of Kiana. Come after, Fyre was finally able to hit that tornado DDT.
Green was tagged in as she and Fyre do a little double team on Kiana. She was later found in a chokehold by Chelsea, mocking Giulia from afar. Since Green likes to make poor choices, she distracted herself as James was successful in tagging Giulia in. With a handful of hair, Giulia tossed Green around the ring and knocked Alba off the apron.
From the top, a missile drop kick from Giulia to Chelsea left her winded, especially when she called out for Alba, and she was nowhere to be found. Fyre ventured to insert herself and was thrown over the ropes. Ha! Giulia returned her attention towards Chelsea and sent her to sleep with Northern Lights.
Winners: Kiana James & Giulia
Before anything too drastic could take place, Drew McIntyre paid his outlandish fine and delivered a half sincere apology to Dan Engler since he wasn’t done. McIntyre went on to reveal a possible dream of Engler to become a wrestler, but he wasn’t good enough, so he had to become a referee. He brought up Engler’s wife, Melissa, and her potential frustration over witnessing her husband getting a Claymore and not stand up for his convictions. “I wish I had a husband like Drew.” Ha! Wow.
Once Rhodes’ music started playing, the creepiest smile emerged on McIntyre’s lips that you can tell he knew what he doing and why. That’s why I respect his dedication. Sorry, Engler. I laughed when Drew channeled his inner Joker when he said: “Come on, hit me!” McIntyre brought up the point that Aldis works for Rhodes, so if he hits Drew, nothing changes… except for his brain taking note of another fracture leading him to insanity.
McIntyre kept egging Rhodes on, and Aldis did his best to hold him back. He’s convinced that Cody screwed him over in America three times, so Drew added the stipulation that their title match should happen in Berlin, Germany in a Three Stages of Hell match. Cody agreed… foolishly. “When I send you straight to hell, say hi to your dad for me.” said McIntyre
Happy Holidays.
TOP PHOTO: Hayes holding his new title. Courtesy of WWE
