As we open the curtains on SmackDown at noon, like a blow to the balls, Cody Rhodes addressed his abrupt and bombarding match with Jacob Fatu that resulted in Drew McIntyre inserting himself before the bell rang. But that doesn’t matter to me right now, Rhodes was confident that he could win the Royal Rumble for the third time. However, he slightly overlooked contenders like Randy Orton and Jey Uso, as well as newcomer Rahd Tuwaiq making his debut. The Vision showed up, too, but who cares about that?
Carmelo Hayes (c) vs. ? – US Championship Open Challenge match
The invitation has been dropped and Rey Fenix picked it up. Good for him. As someone still making waves here on WWE, Fenix made sure to inlfict some impact on Hayes to demonstrate who he is. At some point during an attempted pin, Carmelo kept rolling through, so Fenix tried to out maneuver him the best he could and momentarily succeeded.
A springboard from Rey nearly pinned Carmelo, it surprised him for the most part, unable to provide an answer. Luckily, when Fenix went for another springboard, Hayes countered with a springboard crossbody. An amazing DDT from Hayes from the second rope didn’t allow him the victory. A sudden kick from Fenix caused Carmelo to fumble backwards.
Melo almost suffered a Championship ending move if he hadn’t removed himself from the situation. A kick to the jaw of Rey rocked him. A few back and forth exchanges between the two concluded in them knocking each other out at the same time. La Mistica from Melo almost secured him a retention, but it wasn’t enough. The champ was pissed at this point. Fenix retaliated with a rolling DDT. It came so close to granting him the win.
Just as Rey was about to perform another rolling DDT, Melo caught him with the First 48 out of nowhere, then followed that up with Nothing but Net to continue being Champion.
Winner: Carmelo Hayes
Backstage, Ilja Dragunov nearly boxed The Miz’s ears for throwing him over the ropes last week, but Miz seemingly managed to temper his anger by saying Hayes asked him for help. Like the smart man that he is, Dragunov only warned Miz that the pain he’ll feel later tonight will entertain. He’s suit did look nice, the one compliment Ilja gave him. Take it for what it’s worth.
I see R-Truth was still making ball jokes when it comes to Superstars picking their numbers for the Rumble. He’s a delightful man. Next up, Drew McIntyre was being interviewed since he’ll be keeping a close eye on the 30 men competing in Saturday’s proceedings. He mostly trash talked Sami Zayn for being the only guy within the four (Rhodes, Uso, Orton, and Zayn), who hasn’t won a World Championship. He called Sami stupid for getting himself in a 8-man Tag Team match with The Vision prior to his title fight against McIntyre.
We turn our cameras towards the women’s division when Flair and Bliss announce their plans for tomorrow. Annoyingly so, Charlotte placed her wishes very high and just assumed that Alexa would allow herself to be pushed to the back. Wade Barrett seems to believe there’s tension between the ladies, suggesting a desolving friendship. I agree. Due to Liv Morgan, Roxanne Perez, and Raquel Rodriguez showing on a brand they’re not apart of, they unwillingly vonlunteered two of their group members to face Bliss and Flair right now. Thanks, Aldis!
Charlotte Flair & Alexa Bliss vs. Roxanne Perez & Liv Morgan – Tag Team match
Perez and Flair were battling each other as the match began. Roxanne managed to land a slap to Charlotte’s face after ducking out of her grip. That only angered the queen, Perez saw that and ran. Charlotte chased after her despite Roxanne not being legal anymore when she tagged Morgan, who pounced on her from behind. Morgan and Perez attempted a double team on Charlotte and failed when they got caught instead. Ha!
Once Bliss came into the fold, she managed to turn the match on its head in her team’s favor, but Liv quickly made her regret it with a choke hold in the middle of the ring, isolating her from Charlotte. The same rolling back and forth between Fenix and Hayes occurred here with Bliss and Morgan. Both women were dizzy like hell that Alexa landed a nice punch to Liv’s face before tagging Flair in. Perez rushed in and got squashed by a flying crossbody with her teammate.
Later on, Perez was caught in a fall away slam just as she zoomed towards the queen. Flair literally walked over her opponents before performing that Moonsault that didn’t grant her team the victory she wanted. A late kick out by Morgan but a kick out nonethelesss. Flair was looking for the Figure 8, but Liv caught her with a step up enziguri. As payback, Flair knocked her out with a side kick before Alexa came in with Natural Selection, only to be interrupted by Perez.
Morgan caught Alexa with the Code Breaker, then Roxanne performed the side Russian leg swipe for a near fall if Charlotte hadn’t intervened. Because of that, Morgan missed with the step up enziguri a second time, which allowed Flair to clock her with Natural Selection. After a few kurffles from Rodriguez and Stephanie Vaquer, Bliss was able to end this match with Sister Abigail.
Winners: Alexa Bliss & Charlotte Flair
In an interview backstage with Jordynne Grace about her aspirations on winning the Rumble and giving Cargill the reality check she deserves, Jade popped out of nowhere and rammed Grace into a metal crate. A fight broke out between them that resulted in officials showing up as well. It barely stopped even with their presense.
Axiom vs. Johnny Gargano
Since Candice LeRae’s presense has been causing a lot of side foolishness lately, Nick Aldis barred her from ringside. Also, if Axiom wins this match, he gets his mask back. Gargano has been playing dirty this entire fight in order to keep the mask in their possession. Axiom performed a beautiful Spanish Fly, where Johnny had a nasty landing in the process. Ha1 Irritatingly so, the match continued. Axiom was brilliant to perform that Moonsault to the outside.
Later on, Gargano caught Axiom in the face, then proceeded with a massive driver that nearly took him out. Nevertheless, Axiom fought hard with that move off the top that could have taken Johnny out if he wasn’t resilient. Gargano performed a maneuver that made me uncomfortable. His crutch was way too close to poor Axiom’s face. My expression resembled that brown mockey with wide eyes. As things kept moving, Johnny ripped Axiom’s red mask and gloated towards Nathan Frazer, who warned him to look behind him. Axiom had put on his stolen blue mask back on, nailed Gargano to oblivion and won two for the price of one.
Winner: Axiom
I find it weird that the stipulation of AJ Styles is that if he loses against Gunther, he retires. Wasn’t he going to retire regardless?? This is like the Last Time is Now for Styles. After how the Ring General stomped on Cena on his last match, I couldn’t help but be worried despite AJ telling us not to be. A select handful of people have beaten Gunther, there aren’t that many. Ilja Dragunov, Jey Uso, and Cody Rhodes.
As one usually does, Gunther showed up to trample on AJ’s future, that he made a mistake challenging the Ring General. Tomorrow, he promises to make Styles tap out like John. Completely ignoring that he tapped out once, to Jey Jey. Styles remembered. Ha! That may have infuriated Gunther, but he held back for Saturday’s sake.
Following that, we see Tama Tonga talking to Shinsuke Nakamura. Shockingly, he was disappointed in Nakamura for losing that King of Strong Style edge we’re familiar with against AJ last week. Maybe he was on a downward spiral for months now and we’re finally addressing it. Tama even suggested that Shin retire as well. “The Shinsuke sayonara Tour” said Tonga. Shin challenged Tama next week as recompense.
The Miz vs. Ilja Dragunov
Ilja is an intense guy, or intensity, he says so himself, but his hair at the beginning of the match went crazy-looking, stretched out like dry pretzels. Ha! It was funny how much it fits his persona. His unhingeness scread Miz as he backed up. It’s a bit late for that. Even more so when Dragunov delivered a chop SOOO loud that I thought Miz’s arm was ripped off. I heard slush sounds and hesitated to look at the screen.
After suffering multiple kicks to the face from Ilja, Miz finally climbed onto his opponent’s back to choke him out. Ilja succeeded in ramming Miz into the turnbuckles to force a break and some breathing room. Dragunov tried to lift Miz, but he countered with a back body drop. It didn’t get him the triumph he wanted. Miz was doing well, I think, for the most part. Sometimes that wouldn’t last, especially now when he fumbled to the corner after being kicked.
Ilja caught Miz with a clothesline, then a German suplex with no release. The waistlock was cinched into Miz like a cobra to its prey. Brutal. You could hear Miz crying. Ha! As he was looking for space, Ilja simply slam and dunked him down like a basketball. Ilja was hoping for the H-Bomb, but Miz countered with a DDT. He actually almost won.
Miz thwarted his challenger very well after that, but he took too long climbing the ropes that Ilja met him there with a slap to the face like a child in a candy store. Dragunov’s eyes were poked into and his body tossed aside, but that didn’t stop him once Miz came flying down. Ilja got him with Torpedo Moscow in mid-air. An H-Bomb to the face ended Miz. Even though he lost, Miz was impressive.
Winner: Ilja Dragunov
The war brewing with the Wyatt Sicks and the MFTs is wild. Solo Sikoa vowed to win and bring back the Undisputed Championship to the Samoan island “where it belongs,” He made sure to keep a tight hold over that lanttern of theirs, too. In return. Bo Dallas swore to recapture the Tag Team titles as well as their lanttern. The little fireflies flickering amongst the fans will light Sikoa’s insecurities, according to Dallas. The MFTs’ greed will be their demise.
Jey Uso, Sami Zayn, Randy Orton & Cody Rhodes vs. The Vision – 8-man Tag Team match
You know the beauty of being slightly absent these past couple of Fridays? Is not seeing LP. When he doesn’t talk, I can try my best to blur him out of the frame, but now that I’m here and so is he, I have no choice to write his initials. Or I won’t. Ha! The one I already noted might be the last one. Hopefully. I’m sorry, but the moment Sami arrived to the ring, I laughed when The Vision jumped those who were present at the time. It looked like a dog fight on the streets. So uncivilived. Props to you if you know which character says that.
It took a little bit, but Cody finally showed up as he rushed to the stage to assist his teammates. They managed to ward off the hyenas, so the match could begin without sneaky, underhanded tactics. But before that, Jey and Sami flew over the ropes to squash their adversaries outside. As we head back inside the ring. Jey and Bron were brawling. Frequent tags were made amongst Jey’s team from Cody to Sami to Rhodes. Orton wanted in, Cody took way too much time as Breakker capitalized with a kick to the gut.
With his tremendous speed, Breakker clocked Cody with a clothesline. Bronson came in and delivered a Senton. They, unfortunately, knew what they were doing when The Vision kept Rhodes in their corner. Constantly blocking any means of escape. A gut-wrench from Team Vision gave them into the advantage. Randy has yet to enter the chat. Breakker actually made me snicker while imitating Orton. He looked absolutely ridiculous, as if asking for God, poorly. Never do that again, man.
Cody was still in the mouth of the three and half beasts asking for some help, assistance he won’t get if he doesn’t reach his companions. Jey and Sami were blown off the apron by Reed and left Orton alone. Luckily, Randy was brought in to power slam Austin Theory. He was doing well, ready to finish Theory until a pest flew in and interrupted him. Fortunately, Zayn came to the rescue. I’m not sure what these guys were doing, throwing the other over the ropes as if it matters right now, but stop it.
A huge thank you to Jey Uso for knocking the absolute hell out of that the pest-whose-name-will-not-be-mentioned. He made my day twice! There are some beautiful things in the world indeed. Anyway, so many bodies were involved, but the most important bit is how the match ended prematurely due to Drew McIntyre appearing out of nowhere to assault Sami. What the heck is going on today? And just to add more questions than answers, Jacob Fatu swooped in from behind to jump McIntyre. Rhodes still has beef with Fatu, so he forced a collision with the post. Drew’s sight changed, but Cody was lucky when Sami delivered a Helluva Kick to McIntyre.
And to add an exclimation point to the evening, Breakker speared both Zayn and Rhodes as they reached for the title belt. I won’t guess who’s going to win, I’m not good when too many people participate, so I’ll keep that in my pocket. Have fun, guys!
Winners: No one
TOP PHOTO: Countdown poster. Courtesy of WWE
