Page stares down The Death Riders, Mox on this AEW Dynamite

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

Page stares down The Death Riders, Mox on this AEW Dynamite
Jon Moxley and "Hangman" Adam Page stare down on AEW Dynamite.

It’s Wednesday night, and you know what that means?

No, we don’t want to go to a Coldplay concert with our side piece from HR. I’d rather see Ozzy Osbourne one more…

Oh. Right.

Anyway, “Hangman” Adam Page will face Wheeler Yuta after The Death Riders attacked Colt Cabana on AEW Collision last week. Plus, the Fallen Goddess, Athena, has her minion Billie Starks looking to tangle with “Timeless” Toni Storm in singles action tonight.

From the ByLine Bank Aragon Ballroom in Chicago, Illinois. Excalibur, Taz, and Tony Schiavone have the call, and Page is walking with purpose to the ringside. Renee Paquette talks to him about the actions of Moxley and The Death Riders. He makes it clear he will regret what he does next. Now MJF comes in and goads him, and Page is in no mood for his nonsense. He tells him he will earn it, but states that all MJF is nothing more than a gutless coward.

With that, your First Match of the Night is…

Courtesy of AEW.

“Hangman” Adam Page vs. Wheeler Yuta

As Page acknowledges the crowd, Yuta attacks from behind, and they brawl on the outside of the ring. He tries to put away the Hangman, but to no avail. It isn’t long before Page is in control and throws him around the barricades. Faster than you can say “enhancement talent,” one Buckshot Lariat finds the mark, and it’s so long to Yuta.

Your Winner via Pinfall: “Hangman” Adam Page

Page sees the chain Yuta once had, wraps it around his fist, and clocks Yuta, who is busted open. As he is displaying a crimson mask, Page tells him to deliver a message to Moxley and the rest of the Death Riders that he is coming for them.

Starkz and Athena are backstage, and they talk about how they will destroy Storm tonight.

Now for tag team action in this eliminator series between…

FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler, with Stokely Hathaway) vs. JetSpeed (“Speedball” Mike Bailey and Kevin “The Jet” Knight)

Hathaway limps to the ring after the events of being on the receiving end of a spear by Cope.

As for the match, it is all Harwood and Wheeler as they ground Bailey and Knight’s high-flying arsenal, and they dismantle the upstart tag team. At one point, FTR gets them in stereo Sharpshooters in and out of the ring. JetSpeed staged a comeback, but Harwood manages to roll up Bailey and uses Hathaway’s crutch as leverage to steal the win and advance in the Tournament.

Your Winners via Pinfall: FTR

Afterward, Schiavone interviews Hathaway about Cope’s actions. He makes it known that he belongs in prison because of the spear he gave him. Out comes the Rated R Superstar on the mic, but Hathaway wants it put to a stop. Cope says he made a deal with some individuals, and they love to hurt people.

Cue the Hurt Syndicate, and it is pandemonium. That allows Cope to go after Hathaway, but he spears security by accident.

The Patriarchy is backstage, and Nick Wayne, flanked by his mom and Kip Sabian, discusses why they broke off from Cage, and they will show everyone in AEW what they are capable of and how dangerous they are.

I say these things in the name of the late, great Utah movie critic Jimmy Martin: Show me what ya got, Patriarchy. Also, may I recommend a name change since you are all…uncaged?

Now, Moxley cuts a promo from the back. He admits to losing the match at the ALL IN PPV and makes clear he’s not gonna act like a little bitch about it, but he wants a rematch. A mistake was made, and now he cryptically alludes that he’ll fix it.

A laser-focused Mox is a dangerous Mox to know.

Out comes Will Ospreay, bruv, and Schiavone is in the ring to interview him. He lets us know he flew out from England to be here, and even though he’s still hurt, Ospreay gives us an update on his condition. He’s been struggling with his neck for the last ten months. He kept to himself because, as he explained, “he wanted to get AEW across the finish line.” He says he made promises. He has herniated discs, but it is treatable, and with modern medicine, he feels he can be back at the upcoming Forbidden Door PPV around the corner.

Strickland comes out and embraces Ospreay, and I’m not crying. You are.

Julia Hart and Skye Blue join forces with Thekla. What does that mean for the women’s division?

Renee is now speaking with Willow Nightingale about what’s next. She throws a challenge to Toxic Spider.

Paquette is now with The Hurt Syndicate about what just took place moments ago, and MJF comes in and is not happy they backed Cope but not him recently. MVP says it was a business decision. MJF continues to kvetch until MVP tells Paquette to leave them for a minute. That’s when Bobby Lashley throws MJF up against a row of lockers and makes it clear he is sick of him, and he wants him out. Benjamin and MVP walk away as well, and this is a bad business decision on ol’ Maxwell’s part.

Athena is up in the balcony to watch your next match between…

Courtesy of AEW

“Timeless” Toni Storm vs. Billie Starkz

Starkz is ready to do the bidding of The Fallen Goddess. As for me, I will do the bidding of a Haiku in Review™:

*ahem*

Minion Starkz tries to

Soften Storm. Nevertheless,

She is still Timeless.

Your Winner via Pinfall: “Timeless” Toni Storm

After the match, Starkz blasts Storm on the head with her title, and then she tosses the referee, Aubrey Edwards, out of the ring. Athena comes down and lays her out with the contract clipboard, slamming her head on the steps, and is relentless. She gets ready to cash in a title opportunity until Alex Windsor runs down for the save. She’ll face Athena on Collision this Saturday.

Now it’s time to go to the ring for a little lucha underground violence between…

Hechicero (with Don Callis) vs. Swerve Strickland (with Prince Nana)

Callis takes over the announce duties from ring announcer Justin Roberts after telling folks, “Callate, Cabrónes!”

Before we continue, allow me an…

(Author’s Rant: I don’t know what’s worse: a white guy who is bilingual in Spanish curse words, or a Canadian white guy who is bilingual in Spanish curse words. Eh, I’ll call it a push.)

In any case, I feel this match needs a Lucid Luchador Limerick in Review™:

*ahem*

Hechicero uses his alchemy

Against Strickland, who is up to the challenge, confidentiality.

While the luchador tries with all his might

To end this match quickly tonight,

It’s the Don Callis Family that comes out to interfere, quite naturally.

Your Winner via Disqualification: Swerve Strickland

Afterward, Bandido and Brody King come out to make the save, and they brawl to the back. That allows Okada to sneak in and hit Strickland with a chair. He goes for a tombstone, but Strickland escapes, headbutts him, and goes for the kill. Okada rolls out of the ring and makes a hasty retreat with Callis in tow. He sits down and stares a hole at the Family.

We see what took place against Ricochet and AR Fox as the Gates of Agony helped out. Alicia Atout is backstage, and Ricochet makes it clear Bishop Kaun and Toa Liona are to now be referred as “GoA.” They’ve had back-to-back victories. They are $200k richer, and they will invest in title opportunities, and they will either fear them or respect them.

MJF comes out, and he tells Chicago, after running down the crowd, that he doesn’t need people like Lashley to get his title back. He won’t pull the trigger, but he wants the Triple B back. Now Mark Briscoe is out on the mic and says, like his “kosher pickle,” he’ll keep it short, which fires up the chants.

God bless you, Chicken.

Briscoe says he stole his opportunity at a title shot, and he wants him in the ring next week. MJF responds with a “No,” and mocks Briscoe. He thinks he sucks and is just white trash. Naturally, he goes for the low-hanging fruit that people respect his brother instead of him. Briscoe has had enough and chases after him, but MJF ducks out.

But since he’s here, he’s got to focus on his match, and it’s your Main Event between…

Courtesy of AEW

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Mark Briscoe.

Throughout the match, Castagnoli can counter the Red Neck Kung Fu of Briscoe. He’s in control, but then spies Darby Allin in the crowd. Briscoe comes back and hits the elbow on the outside to the floor that would make Cactus Jack proud.

*Bang Bang*

Back in the ring, Briscoe lands a Froggy ‘bow finds the mark and covers for the one, two…oooh, so close. Now he attempts the Jay Driller, but Castagnoli blocks the finisher. They jockey up the top turnbuckle, and Castagnoli gets the upper hand and nails an impressive avalanche bodyslam for a close two count. He catches Briscoe with a thumb in the eye when the ref’s back is turned. Blinded, he can’t see him connect with a European uppercut for a cover, but Castagnoli can’t put him down. As he sets up for the Neutralizer, Briscoe manages to catch him with an inside cradle as the ref counts Castagnoli’s shoulders to get the one, two, and three.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Mark Briscoe

After the match, Marina Shafir comes out to chop block Briscoe, and The Death Riders make their presence known as they deliver a beatdown on the man from Sandy Fork, DE. Mox makes it clear he does not care for Page, and that brings out the “Hangman” to take care of Cowboy S***. He tells Mox to his face that he can handle the pressure of being a champion. He challenges Mox to face him for the AEW World title next week on AEWDynamite, and Page makes it clear it’s gonna be by his rules: One-on-one, and no one at ringside other than the ref. H walks off, as Mox seethes as the show comes to a close.

Top Photo: Jon Moxley and “Hangman” Adam Page stare down on AEW Dynamite.

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