NXT: Ethan sucks, believe in Joe

Thomas Starr

Joe Hendry's concert is interrupted by an irate Ethan Page. NXT August 27, 2024.
Joe Hendry's concert is interrupted by an irate Ethan Page. NXT August 27, 2024.

This was the go-home show before No Mercy. Stevie Turner and Robert Stone ran through the lineup on twitter. I am not too familiar with the NXT product, but Ava needs two assistants to help her announce matches? Also, they are both desperate for Ava’s attention like two second graders.

Announced for the show, The Family and No Quarter Catch Crew square off in a six-man battle. Kelani Jordan faces a mystery opponent chosen by Wendy Choo; Wendy is Choosing her opponent. See what I did there? Hopefully, Wendy does not fall asleep before Choosing.

Joe Hendry is also live in concert. It is Tuesday night with NXT.

Fatal Influence did one of those walking promos that WWE has been using. Then Meta-Four talked to each other about Fatal Influence. Awkward.

Fatal Influence is a cowgirl, a fake Kardashian, and a Boy George impersonator.

Fatal Influence vs. Meta-Four

Booker T, the worst announcer of all-time, and Vic Joseph were arguing about something and not calling the early part of the match. I did not understand what the disagreement was. It was very distracting.

Lash Legend, who is a huge woman, awkwardly caught her two opponents and then put their heads between the ropes and just bounced them up and down. I have no idea what that was. Then Jakara Jackson did a dive and went over her two opponents. Then they went to break. The match is off to an, uh, incredible start.

During the break, they were in picture-in-picture. I wish they were not, because they did some phony-looking wrestling. Back from break, Lash did some more phony-looking offense. Then she tagged Jakara. While Lash held the opponent up, Jakara tried to do a clothesline from the top rope but hit her on the side and Jakara fell on her backside to the mat. That was bad.

The finish had Jacey and Fallon do a double team move. They were trying to do a running knee to the back and the other to the front. The front one hit, but the one from the back clearly missed.

Winners: Fatal Influence

Thoughts: The names of the factions are cringeworthy. This was bad. I try to give them some leeway since a lot of the roster is green, but do not try to do things you cannot execute well. It did not help that Booker and Vic started off with that ridiculous argument.

They did a Wes Lee package explaining his heel turn. We were subjected to some bad acting here.

Eddie Thorpe showed a video of himself DJing to three unnamed women. Ashante “The” Adonis walked up and said the music was dope. Then asked Thorpe which girl was his. He did not believe Eddie when he said they were just his friends.

In a room near the two men, Brooks Jensen was beating up Edris Enofe.

Karmen Petrovic vs. Izzi Dame

Petrovic comes out with a samurai sword. Sigh. She looks ridiculous. Izzi Dame has great size. She threw Petrovic around early on. Izzi did a sit out powerbomb into a pinning position. She then sat there and shook her legs repeatedly. I do not know what she was going for there.

Booker and Vic started arguing about something again. This is getting old quickly. They are doing the participants no favors. Petrovic won out of nowhere with a roll up.

Winner: Petrovic

Thoughts: Awkward. Very awkward. They did not try to do too much, but what they did was not very good.

The No Quarter Catch Crew are in the back arguing about their warmups. The D’Angelo Family was approached by two older gentlemen, but Tony said they have a match and cannot talk now.

Back from break, Jaida Parker does a sit-down interview. They talked about Jaida fighting hurt after a gauntlet match. Jaida said she wants to give Roxanne her “flowers.” I hate that phrase. Jaida fires up and Roxanne Perez interrupts. Perez tells the interviewer to leave. Roxanne retold Jaida’s story and then said it was the same story for her past opponents. Jaida slaps Roxanne and then they both meet a mysterious person off-camera.

They did a good job explaining Jaida’s athletic background. Roxanne has everything but size. She was good here.

The D’Angelo Family vs. No Quarter Catch Crew

Wren Sinclair came out skipping to the ring. She smiles too much. Especially if she is a heel. The action started and Sinclair and Myles Borne were arguing already. Stacks hit some incredible punches to Dempsey’s armpit.

The two older gentlemen came out and Tony went to the back with them. Great.

No Quarter began focusing on Stacks’ leg. He was wearing a leg brace. The Family hit the Shatter Machine and won. Stacks sold the leg after the match.

Winners: The Family

Thoughts: This was a level up from the first two matches. The execution was better, and the crowd was into both teams, especially The Family. Wren is green but has a lot of personality. She is a little over-the-top, but this is NXT and most of the roster is still learning. Good match.

Pete Dunne is in the back and said he wants Trick Williams.

Security filled up the ring for the Wes Lee-Zachary Wentz confrontation. Two guys that go about a 150-170 and they sent out six security guards. Okay.

Ava is in the back with Ethan Page. She scolded Ethan for hitting a referee. Like a teacher telling a second grader to not put their boogers under their desk. She is terrible. Ethan was not much better trying to get Ava to suspend him.

Zachary Wentz had a mean face on in the ring as Wes Lee came out. The security guards were not even between the two men. They sat back away while these two recited their lines. Imagine a middle school play and one student said their lines and then waited for the next one to say their lines.

I cannot describe how phony this was. The crowd noise seemed to be pumped in too. Maybe not, but you could not really see anyone reacting. Plus, you could see people texting on their phones.

Both guys started raising their voices at the end of every sentence to try to express emotions. This was bad. The best line of this ordeal was when Wes Lee said he was a WWE superstar and Zach was just a TNA wrestler. That is the best they could do.

Then two refs were able to hold them back. Why did we bother with security? And I can confirm the crowd noise was piped in. When they both fired up at the end, the crowd exploded. Only it did not, because you could see the crowd behind the men, and no one was reacting.

Joe Hendry ran into Trick in the back and promised he would give him a title shot after beating Ethan Page at No Mercy.

Kelani Jordan vs. Rosemary

The last time I saw Kelani Jordan, she was straddling Sol Ruca while Sol was doing yoga. Kelani wanted to know who Wendy Choo was Choosing. Wendy Choosed Rosemary from TNA. Immediately, I knew this match was going to be terrible. Call it a hunch.

Rosemary did the worst looking rear naked choke I have ever seen. At least try. They did the forearm exchange spot that 90% of wrestlers do in 99% of their matches. Rosemary sold by just falling over. No facials or body language.

Kelani hit the split-legged moonsault for the win. The lights went out and Wendy Choosed to attack her from behind. She put Kelani asleep much like Choo’s matches put me to sleep.

Winner: Kelani Jordan

Thoughts: I was wrong. It was not terrible. It was just bad.

Meta-Four are sulking in the back when Lexis King shows up to mock them. A brawl breaks out. The two women were screaming to let them fight.

A Chase U vignette airs. Axiom and Nathan Frazer interrupt. Nathan used to be their flag bearer. What am I watching? They said they are going to beat Chase U Sunday. Great.

Malik Blade vs. Brooks Jensen

This match was setup earlier when Brooks attacked Edris Enofe. Not much to the match. Malik jumped Brooks at the start, but Brooks finished him off in a couple minutes.

Winner: Jensen

Thoughts: Brooks was fighting in khakis and tennis shoes. His beard looks great, but he needs better gear or something grimier. He looks like a wild man, but dresses like a 40-year-old schoolteacher. Well, he was shirtless. Hopefully, no one’s schoolteacher is shirtless.

Je’Von Evans is in the back and wants to show that he can wrestle and throw hands.

Hank and Tank were in the back talking about how great No Mercy would be. They also believe in Joe Hendry. Bronco Nima and Lucien Price confronted them. They exchanged insults and Bronco and Lucien stormed off.

Je’Von Evans vs. Joe Coffey

Coffey is a bowling ball of a man. He is built like an old-time grappler. Je’Von is incredibly thin. He is listed at 150, which may be generous. The finish was poorly executed. Wolfgang jumped up on the apron to distract Evans. Mark Coffey then came into the ring and pushed Joe away, only Evans was still standing on the top rope. So, he pushed him out of the way of a move that had not happened yet. Coffey then hit his finish for the win.

Winner: Coffey

Thoughts: It was hard to suspend disbelief. Coffey is so much larger than Evans and once he had Evans on the mat, which was immediately at the start, it was just ridiculous that Evans ever got off the mat. They did Evans no favors by putting him in the ring with someone who had one hundred pounds on him.

Tony D’Angelo is led into a restaurant. Oba Femi is seated at a table. Oba said he does not like disrespect. Instead of taking out the whole restaurant, Oba said he will wait until Sunday. It is the head of the family versus the ruler at No Mercy. That match I can get into.

Booker lets us know that the altitude in Denver is higher. Thanks, Book. They then run down the lineup for No Mercy.

Joe Hendry Concert

Hendry is out at 9:59. Joe, I love you, but it is a school night. Joe wrote another song about Ethan Page. Hendry’s song matched up with video lowlights from Ethan’s career. Included was a video of Page in a duck hat. Also, the match where Page wrestled himself on a green screen.

Ethan interrupts Joe just as the song was picking up. The crowd is singing the song (the lyrics were on their screens) while Ethan tried to talk.

Ava came out and now it really was getting late. She has added a special referee. It is Trick Williams. Booker T was especially obnoxious here. Joe hit a chokeslam and Trick counted the pin. As Joe and Trick celebrated, Pete Dunne said Trick was not going to make their match next week.

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