The King Bees have been a force to reckon with in the women’s tag division of the National Wrestling Alliance. They have won the belts from the Pretty Empowered team. Since then, Ella Envy has left Pretty Empowered and has become an It Girl alongside Ms. Starr, and she wants to claim tag gold again.
Can they upend The King Bees and claim the titles?
We’ll find out in the main event later tonight in the historic 2300 Arena in downtown Philadelphia, PA. Joe Galli, Billy Corgan, and Danny Dealz have the call, and your First Match of the Night is a…
Four-Way Match for the NWA United States Tag Team Titles:Daisy Kill and Talos (with Vampiro)(c) vs. The SlimeBallz (Tommy Rant and Sage Chantz), The Country Gentlemen (AJ and KC Cazana, with Joe Cazana), and The Fixers (Jay Bradley and Wrecking Ball Legursky)
Except for The Slimeballz, each team has held the tag titles at one point or another in the Lightning Era of the NWA. Papa Joe is channeling serious Boss Hogg vibes as the Country Gentlemen enter the ring in new white ring gear, as he holds aloft a thick NWA rulebook.
Rant and Legursky start, but Chantz gets in with a blind tag as The Slimeballz try to pin each other, but the ref says that ain’t playing cricket. In any case, Legursky gets double-teamed by The Slimeballz until he runs through them like a…well, a wrecking ball. Now he tags in Bradley and he waylays Rant which leads to…
Ads ( I normally get annoyed by these ads in the middle of a match, but not this time. This time I’m OK with it).
We come back and Bradley gives a spinning Razor’s Edge to Rant. Now Kill gets in on the fun and he is having a good time (Good Time!) causing pain to The Slimeballz. He gets Chantz in a modified Gory Special and carries him to The Fixers for a free chop to the chest. Kill does the same with The Gentlemen. Vampiro gets in on the fun and finally, Talos adds the punctuation point. He tags in and the big guy palms Chantz’s head to set up for a choke slam. Rant attempts a save but gets run down. The match devolves into a Pier Sixteen brawl as the ref tries in vain to restore order. Chantz in his desperation tags in KC, and the younger Gentleman dodges a big boot as Talos gets hung up on the top rope. Legursky is back in the ring and KC tries a low blow. The big man blocks it, a la Pai Mei from Kill Bill, and nails him with a massive headbutt, and then The Fixers launch “White Lightning” KC from one end of the ring to another.
Chantz comes back for more, and let me take this moment to offer this…
(Author’s Note: Whatever I said about The Slimeballz before, I am impressed by their showing in this match. Granted their odds of winning are like the odds of The Utah Jazz claiming basketball glory again, but they are now starting to grow on me. Also, Chantz is earning the Spike Dudley Award for Most Bumps in a match. Change my mind!)
The Fixers miss Chantz, but Rant is a Slimeball en Fuego, and now The Slimeballz are in the groove as they give an assisted cannonball to Kill in the corner. He manages a tag again to KC and he slams Chantz. the younger Cazana tries to offer his variation of the Fargo strut, but in his cockiness misses a leg drop on Chantz. Rant attacks with a dropkick and he and Chantz land a wheelbarrow splash to cover, but The Fixers break the count. Once again pandemonium is king in the ring, and the action spills outside as Legursky sends Talos over the top rope and follows with a running splash on the big man from the apron edge to the concrete floor. It’s now AJ Cazana in the ring with the Slimeballz, but he has his branding iron at the ready. He swings and misses both men, and Rant spears AJ to cover for a two count. Rant goes up top to the high-rent district, and KC is there to drop him back down to the mat. As the ref deals with that matter, on the opposite end of the ring Chantz goes after AJ but Joe bludgeons him with the rule book, and then their flying clothesline finisher ends it, which means…
Your Winners, and New NWA US Tag Team Champions: The Country Gentlemen
May Valentine is backstage standing…err, having a sit down with Eric Smalls. He tells her that he is a stand-up guy, and he lost the ladder match at The Crockett Cup and now he will allow Rolando and Slade a free shot at his nethers. He also adds that if he can dish it, they should take it. The Half Pint Punk promises if go about Smalls you’ll get it in the…
And that’s when Valentine pulls the mic away, like the true pro that she is.
Now that leads to the…
Family Jewels Finale: Eric Smalls vs. Rolando (with Slade)
Again, to recap: After the events of The Crockett Cup, Smalls lost the Family Jewels Ladder match against The Spectaculars. Now Slade will have the opportunity to take a shot at the Half Pint Punk’s “family jewels.”
On that note, folks, this is a reminder while some matches are priceless jewels, not all of them can be gems. This is the latter.
In any case, Slade and Rolando (with mutton chops that would make him a “comic book accurate size Wolverine”) take their sweet time prepping for the shot. Slade gets ready for the swing until Rolando backs him off, gesturing (broadly) that it’s his right to knock him right in the twig and berries. Before he can land the blow, Smalls kicks him and goes for the ground and pound until Slade throws him off. He and Rolando kick him to the ground until we hear from commentary that Mr. Grim is in the building.
An independent wrestler billed as “The Hitman for Hire (think Viscera, but smaller and more agile) gets in and drives off Slade. He gives Smalls a piggyback slam onto Rolando, and before he can give the coup de grace with the Inchworm (Galli was generous calling it a “Caterpillar”, but I digress), Rolando slinks off out of the ring and is carried off by Slade to the back.
Looks like Smalls has a new running buddy in Mr. Grim.
Valentine now has Ella Envy and Ms. Starr. Envy says that it’s her birthday and remarks how it would be a great present if she got the Women’s tag team titles again. After a bit of badmouthing between her and Valentine, calling to her face “a loser,” Envy is full of faux outrage she summons up her inner Karen and proclaims tonight as all about the It Girls because they are, “Full of It.”
They’re definitely full of something, all right.
But now it’s time for the Main Event and this is for the…
NWA Women’s World Tag Team Championship: The King Bees (Danni Bee and Charity King)(c) vs. The It Girls (Ella Envy and Ms. Starr)
Because it’s Envy’s birthday, she sashays out to the ring with a birthday sash.
The birthday girl @ellaenvypro#NWAPowerrrpic.twitter.com/8wxA7FMK85
— Karnage (@Karnage312) October 22, 2024
Starr still has her neck brace on. While Commentary wonders about her health, I figure she will power through via the spirit of Andy Kaufman.
Once the bell rings Envy shoves King, and then she rips off her birthday sash. Oh, the gall; The audacity; The gumption. She gives a shoulder tackle to Envy and then the King Bees gives the same treatment to Starr. Bee is in the driver’s seat with Starr and gives her second rope crossbody for a two count. The third-generation Starr puts a halt on the offense as she grabs her hair and knocks King off the apron. Those actions change the direction of the champ’s fortunes as The It Girls are mean girls to Bee who is in peril as Starr gives a Samoan drop for a two count. She attempts the Starrstruck DDT, but Bee reverses and drives her down to the mat with a face plant that gives both women a case of whiplash. They crawl to their corners but Bee manages the hot tag to King and she is en fuego as she nails a Samoan drop to Envy to cover, but Starr breaks the count. Bee and Starr are knocked out as Envy comes back in the ring and lands the “It” KO for another count of two.
THE “IT” K O 💅🏻💕 https://t.co/xfQVtfsQtp
— Ella Envy💅🏻 (@ellaenvypro) October 22, 2024
There’s a big boot by Envy, but King fires back with a clothesline and Bee quickly tags in with a flash knee strike but can’t keep her down. Bee goes for a sunset flip to a pin, but Starr throws out her neck brace. As the ref grabs it, Envy reverses and stacks up Bee for the one, two, and three.
Your Winners and New NWA Women’s World Tag Team Champions: The It Girls
Envy is now a four-time tag champion with two teams. As she forces Kyle Davis to sing her “Happy Birthday,” The King Bees walk up the ramp bruised and broken as this moment is for the It Girls as the show goes to the credits.
