It’s the week before the Samhain pay-per-view, and the National Wrestling Alliance is bringing out the monsters of the squared circle. The NWA Tag Team Champions, Blunt Force Trauma, will be in action in a two-on-three handicap match, as will Trevor Murdoch and Mike Knox as they prepare for their title fight this Saturday.
But let’s talk about Aron Stevens, the guiding hand behind the success of Blunt Force Trauma to see how he has utilized The Power of Douchenozzlery™.
Anyone else notice there was a “Bond villain” music theme there as well? Just me?
Ok, then.
Well, let’s head to the Skyway Studios for this final episode of NWA POWERRR before the PPV. Joe Galli and Danny Dealz have the call as the First match of the night is…
EC3 and “The Golden Boy” Jordan Clearwater vs. Luscious Lawrence and Kal Herro
While you might have blinked and missed them on Netflix’s Wrestlers docuseries, looks like these OVW stars are making their debut in fine fashion. As for EC3, the OverMan is really taking Clearwater under his wing to see that The Golden Boy gets over…boy.
EC3 arm drags Herro to the corner, and Clearwater comes in and then gets his arm dragged down to the mat. After the NWA champ offers words of wisdom, he goes back to Herro and arm drags him to success. Lawrence tags in and EC3 shows him and the fans why he is over…man. Clearwater comes in and then goes for a strut to a leg drop that misses the mark. Hero takes advantage with a fanny pack crossbody to cover for a two-count. He gets backed into the corner and Clearwater is a Golden Boy in Peril as Lawrence and Herro work over the Golden Boy. He fights his way out and gets the hot tag and EC3 shows he is Over and En Fuego. A Thesz press to Lawrence, followed by the One Percenter, and transitioned into The Purpose is enough for Lawrence to tap out.
Your Winners via Pinfall: EC3 and Jordan Clearwater
Sam Leterna backstage with Colby Corino and The Immortals, Kratos and Odinson. Corino said after NWA 75, he realized he doesn’t need Jamie Stanley in his corner, and as for Joe Alonzo, he can keep those sloppy seconds. While he’s going to miss trick or treating with his kid, he promises he will bring gold home. As for Kratos, he mentions his accolades and how he is damn handsome, but Odinson is someone he can wash his clothes and scrubs them on his abs alone. As for the NWA US Tag Team champions, Kratos proclaims at Samhain that is where Daisy Kill and Talos’ title reign ends and The Immortals begin.
Violent J went to social media and laid out the stipulation for Samhain between The Brothers of FUnstruction and La Rebelion will be contested in a Riddlebox Match.
October 28th Cleveland, OH! @nwa Presents: SAMHAIN! 🎃 The most violent and spooky Pay-Per-View in the history of the National Wrestling Alliance!
Who's ready for an adrenaline-pumping clash of epic proportions? pic.twitter.com/WfWozaaBBG
— Insane Clown Posse (@icp) October 20, 2023
This looks to be all sorts of insane, so Show me what ya got, Violent J.
Speaking of insane, how about we go ringside for the next match between…
Trevor Murdoch and Mike Knox vs. The Fixers (Jay Bradley and Wrecking Ball Legursky)
This ladies and gentlemen, is your quintessential 4-H (Heavy, Hard-Hitting Hoss) Match. Monsters do exist, especially in the squared circle. Legursky and Murdoch tee off as soon as the bell rings and the former NWA champion answers with haymakers. Legursky gouges his eyes and then gives him a corner splash. Murdoch comes back with a forearm shiver and Knox assists with Murdoch’s leg drop on The Fixer. Now Knox has some fun as he drapes Legursky on the middle rope and connects with a leg lariat. Legursky somehow gets the tag to Bradley and the Boss comes back with a slam and an elbow drop. A fist drop misses and Murdoch comes back into the fray but soon gets isolated in The Fixers’ corner and he is quickly In Peril. He gets whipped into the corner and Legursky misses a splash. Murdoch tags back in Knox and takes Legursky to task followed by a corner splash, and then nails a running crossbody on Legursky to cover, but Bradley breaks the count. Knox is wobbly, and as The Fixers measure the big man they go for a sandwich splash, but ducks out at the last second. Legursky clutches his head as Knox and Murdoch go high/low to show The Fixer how it’s done.
Your Winners via Pinfall: Trevor Murdoch and Mike Knox
There is a video on Father James Mitchell whispering warnings to Gaagz The Gymp to come back home to him and to bring Sal the Pal, or else suffer eternal damnation.
I mean…It’s a little aggressive, to be sure.
while we’re on the subject of the next ring of Hell, here’s a…
Six-Lady Tag Team Match: Ruthie Jay, Samantha Starr, and The WOAD vs. Pretty Empowered (Ella Envy, Kylie, and Kenzie Paige)
It’s a Pretty Empowered world out there, which is like if Barbie learned jiu-jitsu. When that happens, it’s time to move out of the Mojo Dojo Case House on your horse in a hurry.
Kenzie taunts Jay ahead of their title match, then Envy gets tagged in and works on Starr for a minute. The third-generation Starr whips Envy into the corner and gives a back splash, followed by a kick to her back and then she rams Envy’s head to the mat using her knees to cover for a two count. The WOAD comes in and Starr throws her to her hip and covers for one count. Jay tags in and she and WOAD double hip toss her for a two count. Jay follows with a leg drop for another two count and then badmouths the champ. That distraction allows Envy to forearm her and Pretty Empowered keeps the Five Star Jay away from her corner. All of a sudden, Roxy runs out from behind the curtain for a conversation with Envy about getting back in the group. Envy kicks her away and meanwhile, in the ring, Kenzie and Jay roundhouse kick each other at the same time to get laid out on the mat. Both women crawl to their respective corners, but Jay gets the tag to WOAD and she attacks with a backbreaker, and then chaos runs rampant in the ring. A Pier Six brawl ensues as all the women just go for the heavy arsenal. WOAD goes right at the champ and Kenzie gives her a boot to the face and Kylie delivers Code Kylie for the pin and the win.
Your Winners via Pinfall: Pretty Empowered
After the match, Roxy comes up and asks if she can get back with them. Envy and company go full Mean Girls on Roxy, and as she turns away in tears, Kylie clotheslines her from behind and all three stand atop her fallen carcass.
Leterna Ruthie Jay after her loss in the six-women tag match. She’s upset by what happened and learns Kenzie Paige is fierce. But so is she, and Jay hopes her title run doesn’t last long after the Samhain PPV.
Now let’s get some magic going with the next match of the night…
Magic, Inc. (“Magic” Jake Dumas, “The Barker” Cody James, with CJ) vs. Jeremiah Plunkett and Mario Pardua
Dumas tries a magic trick but the Tater Peeler is wise to his act. Plunkett has the upper hand early on in the match until CJ trips him up with a cane. Now the Magic act is in full swing as The Barker slides out for a slap, and Dumas hits a flatliner (ta-DA) for a two count. Dumas throws him shoulder first in the corner to the ring post and Plunkett is a Poor Peeler in Peril (say that three times fast). James comes in and Plunkett shoves him away and gets the hot tag to Pardua and he has Polish power to spare. He cleans house and nails a Side Polish Legsweep on Dumas for two. As he gets ready for a finish, Dumas gives a sleight of hand and slices his eye with a card and he and James go for a double team Abracadabra (assisted TKO) for the three count.
Your Winners, and a Better Magic Act than Siegfried and Roy: Magic, Inc.
Leterna speaks to Knox and Murdoch on what they face with Blunt Force Trauma this Saturday at the PPV. Knox says that underneath those masks, they could be anyone and get jumped, so they gotta take the fight to them. This was also a good time for Knox to apologize to his neighbor and HOA member for beating him up. Murdoch promises a union of pain and destruction once they get ahold of Blunt Force Trauma.
At the Podium with Kyle Davis is the Southern Six. Kerry Morton tells the “smizarks” to shut up and says they sell tickets and they’re ready for competition at Samhain, which apparently will be The Headbangers. “Thrillbilly” Silas Mason calls Chris Adonis a stupid sumbitch for thinking he’s gonna take Big Daddy Thrill’s NWA National title. He also lays it out for EC3 he has a golden ticket. Alex Taylor comments that the thermostat must be turned on because when you are hot, you’re hot. and when you’re not…
Well, they leave Davis hanging at the Podium. Jerks.
And that leaves your Main Event which is a…
Two-on-Three Handicap Match: Blunt Force Trauma (Carnage and Damage, with Aron Stevens) vs. Luke Kurtis, Soda Pop Hendrix, KC Roxx
Stevens gets on the mic for a segment he calls “Get to Know the Champs.” He adds there is no honor or dignity in pro wrestling, but they will demonstrate it tonight.
And then Blunt Force Trauma just ran roughshod over the poor jobbers.
(Author’s Note: You’re probably thinking I should do my patented Haiku in Review™ for this squash match, or you need a good recipe for that leftover pumpkin after Halloween ends. The thing is it does not deserve to be done like that. I only reserve that for matches where the booking committee and/or the wrestlers in the match are phoning it in. This is not that match.)
Cranage and Damage continue to lay waste, as Stevens delivers commentary on the blow-by-blow action, almost better than Galli or Dealz for that matter. Finally, the beatings come to an end as Roxx gets the Demolisher (Backbreak/elbow drop combo) to end this match.
Your Winners via Pinfall: Blunt Force Trauma
As they celebrate in the ring, Knox and Murdoch come out and go after BFT. It’s bedlam as they toss Damage out of the ring. They line up Carnage for the high/low finisher, but Stevens gets in the way and says if they strike him the title match is off. He dares Knox or Murdoch to take a swing. Then Stevens says while there is a medieval theme in the Knights of the Round Table match, he promises Blunt Force Trauma will get medieval on their behinds and “pluck their turkey feathers” at Samhain. Knox and Murdoch hold the tag belts high as Blunt Force Trauma stares at them as the show goes to the credits.
