Ah, anarchy. I tend to love it when it comes to fights like wrestling. It’s invigorating to say the least. Because of that one-punch Mance delivered to Real1 last week, later tonight we are graced with a Street Fight between these two men. Warner is ready to see how “real” Real1 really is. Ha!
Since Jacob Fatu won Battle Riot and has the clearing to cash in for a title opportunity, he’s made his intentions to brawl Hammerstone for the World Championship title known for weeks now. So that’s going to happen for sure at Super Fight.
Willie Mack vs. Calvin Tankman
Mack and Tankman exchange heavy shoulder tackle blows as if it’s a competition, but neither of them budges, nor falls. Built like steel is what these men are.
This match felt like I was watching Sumo wrestling instead. So… many… body slaps and ducking. Dare I say, I was bored. Although, I’m not saying Sumo wrestling is bad. Both of them paid too much attention to the crowd rather than the fighter in the ring.
Things do pick up once Willie does a step up then slingshots Tankman using his legs, then he drops Calvin with a knee.
As soon as Calvin reenters the ring after being ploughed, he receives a harsh slap to the jaw from Willie.
Okay… this was weird. Mack went for another chop to Calvin’s chest, yet he quickly switches it into a nurple of all things. However, I have to give him props for rightfully inflicting pain when needed. This angers Tankman, so he returns the agony.
This one uppercut Willie delivers to Tankman made the official rattle. If you needed proof that those chops hurt, look at the referee’s face. It says it all. Ha! Ha!
Mack took advantage of Tankman’s confusion to send him a ringing clothesline. Calvin manages to counter with a spinning elbow to Willie’s jaw in mid-air. Ouch. Tankman thought it was over, but Willie grabs the bottom rope for temporary salvation.
Both men were down after Mack lifted Tankman for a back drop. Surprisingly, Willie goes into a kip up and a standing Moonsault for a cover that was so, so close to victory. Mack got pissed at the official as he backs him into a corner. It was actually kind of funny how wide eyed Willie was.
Given the few seconds Willie mistakenly gave Calvin, he manages to recover and deliver the Tankman Driver for the win.
Winner: Calvin Tankman
Wow. There was supposed to be a match between three Luchadores such as Lady Shani, La Hiedra and Reina Dorado; shockingly for them, they were found beaten by the mysterious calling card sender. The assault was broadcasted through a VHS tape by the same attacker wearing a gas mask. Like a hazmat. Ooh, spooky. The ominous tone of the cards is getting better and better.
Unfortunately, we’re switching gears. Real1 has a message for Mance Warner. He downplays the knockout he received like it was nothing. Immaturely awarding Warner a ribbon for his efforts. Real1 crudely promises to beat Mance’s ass later tonight.
Anyway, Hammerstone is aware that Jacob Fatu is cashing in his ticket. No matter how much distance they place, Fatu and Hammerstone always seem to face each other again. Alex wants to go bigger because that’s what’s required to beat Jacob at Super Fight given the doubts the audience sewed into Hammerstone’s brain at Fight Land.
Hammerstone knows that Jacob believes he got lucky. Now Alex wants to shut him up too, like he did Richard Holliday.
Oh, by the way, Yamato has been granted a chance to battle Hammerstone for the World Championship title next week. Yay! War time. Yama has been doing very well for himself lately.
Taya Valkyrie (c) vs. Zoey Skye – Women’s Featherweight Championship match
Last time I said the wrestlers’ theme music was too low for some reason. Now it’s TOO loud. You can barely hear the announcer introducing Skye since her song was noisy. I know what this match is, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t hear you.
When you look at Skye and Valkyrie side-by-side, you can see the height and muscle difference. It’s staggering because Taya chose to make fun of Zoey by patting her on the head, which she retaliates with a shove, a leg slingshot and a step up kick to Valkyrie’s jaw.
Skye came out of the gate with an explosion, but Taya quickly slows her down with a kick to the mid-section and a DDT. Skye loves the quick pace too much, which makes her fast on her approach, but Valkyrie takes her time stalking her moves instead. That’s working smarter not faster.
Zoey fell on the outside, Taya meets her there and slams her head against the post. Twice. Valkyrie takes things further by binding Skye helpless, so she could stomp her down.
Most of this fight has been going according to Taya’s hand, but Zoey sends a fast drop kick using the ropes to her advantage. She even went up for a crossbody that could have granted her the win. She tries again, Taya dodges with a push kick then hooks Skye for a Road to Valhalla retaining victory. I loved it… for a moment.
Duran forced Skye to kiss Taya’s feet as they loomed over her. Gross, I swear. That was too much.
On happier news, 18-year-old Billie Starkz is looking to make a smashing debut for the fans, which Taya writes it off as “Oh, look. Another one.” Duran makes the comment that Starkz can call MLW when she’s no longer wearing panialis that Valkyrie boastfully translates as diapers.
Winner: Taya Valkyrie
Given last week’s Peach Prize Fight gone wrong once the British Bulldogs showed up to brawl the Bomaye Club, people are left wondering if Alex Kane regrets stealing the Opera Cup. Pfft… hell no, he doesn’t. He relishes it. Or ignores them. Whichever one he fancies.
Kane has now re-renamed the Cup to the Bomaye Cup of the Gods. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! How pretentious. Davey Boy Smith Jr. and the Billington Bulldogs, Thomas and Mark, counter with an opinion of their own about Kane’s actions. Smith Jr. is disgusted by how ignorant and careless Kane can be when holding the Opera Cup when it tails back to its first winner, Stu Hart, Davey’s grandfather.
But Davey isn’t playing when he warns Kane “Don’t forget to tap out before you nap out.”
On other news, EJ Nduka attacks Lance Anoa’i from behind with a cinderblock as he shouts to remind Fatu that Hammerstone’s belt was, or is, his moment. Because of that, Lance is sent to the hospital.
Anyway… Lio Rush is here. Whoo! While Rush makes a clear statement that his absence left room for the locker room to create delusions of grandeur about being on top, my mind paid attention to his endearing deep voice instead. Ha! Listen to it again. You’ll see what I’m talking about.
Mance Warner vs. Real1 – Street Fight
Honestly, I can’t express how exhausted I am of Real1’s voice. It went from Lio Rush’s soothing voice to Real1’s nail on a chalkboard voice… If you saw my face as I act accordingly to someone’s nails scratching the board. Yikes. It felt real ugly.
As Warner makes his entrance, he comes prepared with a baseball bat and a trash can for Real1. Ha!
Unfortunately right out of the gate, Real1 drop kicks Mance then proceeds with heavy blows to the head. Warner remembers where he is when he shoulder tackles his opponent down then chops him before toying him like a ragdoll.
I kid you not, the blond girl from last week’s One-Punch match is here again in the front row. Mance’s face bounced fight off her boobs. Unnecessary. Aside from titties, Mance gets thrown against the post back first then placed into a sleeper hold inside the ring.
Warner is sitting on a chair as Real1 delivers kendo stick blows to the Southern Psychopath prior to Mance gaining his strength back and send punches as payback then drives Real1 into the chair.
Whatever Warner was going to do with the trash can, he took too much time once Real1 bulldozes him into the corner. The Certified G prepared himself to leap off the turnbuckles and collides with the trach can instead.
And out of nowhere, Real1 uses his hidden knuckle braces to knock Warner out for a win. A cheap win, I say.
Winner: Real1
TOP PHOTO: Mance Warner getting ready to whack Real1 with a kendo stick. Courtesy of MLW
