If there is anything you can count on wrestling in Philadelphia, PA, it’s over the top violence. Tonight is no different as MLW Tag Team champions Los Parks are set to defend the belts in a Philly Street Fight.
Will Konnan’s crew reign, or is Los Parks still going to retain? We’ll find out tonight in the ECW Arena, and your commentators Rich Bocchini and Joe Dobrowski have the call.
(Author’s Exasperated Note: For those of you wondering why this recap is late, there was a technical difficulty from MLW in showing the episode until this Thursday on YouTube. For once, my love of mezcal cannot be blamed for delays. See Exhibit A below)
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1468717310575890434?s=20
The show starts with a cold open, as we see matchmaker Cesar Duran and his Azteca Stooge ™ holding a briefcase. He tells the “renegades” to get ready for a super lucha, and the winner gets American cash. Hey, folks…, as in life so in wrestling…Cash Rules Everything Around Me. Get that money. Dolla dolla bill, y’all.
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469110717450227713?s=20
While you enjoy that earworm that is now banging in your eardrum, let’s start with your First Match…
Arez (with Holidead and Dr. Dax) vs. Aramis
The beginning of the match is simply lucha-rific opening, with neither gaining the advantage, and it’s is a blur of movement between the luchadors. At one point, Aramis spins Arez around and up on his back to a Gory Special. From there both men are evenly match, hold for hold is countered. Outside the ring, e Arez gets Aramis in a Razors Edge, and carries him up the walkway and drops him to the ramp.
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469112324887879680?s=20
He grabs Aramis, and sends him back in the ring, and Arez nails with a double stomp to cover for a two count. Aramis goes to the top rope to hit a corkscrew splash that misses the mark, but he gets sends Arez out and follows with a tope suicida to outside at full steam. Arez is dazed as Aramis goes to follow up with…
Ads for MLW Blood & Thunder in January in Dallas, TX. Hoo-kay.
Back to the ring Aramis tries a 450 splash that misses, and from the halfway point the match is looking spotty, like both men are not on the same page. Aramis manages to pop up and gets Arez with a spinning basement enzugiri, and he follows with head-butts that drops both men. Aramis gets Arez in the Desnucadora de Muscatero finisher, and the ref gets a close two count.
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469113975052947457?s=20
Aramis ramps up the offense with a tightrope Asai Moonsault to Arez from the ring to the concrete floor. Aramis sends him back in the ring, and Holidead grabs his leg to slow him down. Arez takes advantage, and he gets a Northern Lights suplex for a two count. Aramis reverses to a leg grapevine, but Dr. Dax and Holidead jump up to distract the ref, and Arez nails with his shin trap slam and…
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469114761149358096?s=20
Your Winner via Pinfall, and the Briefcase of Cash: Arez
We head backstage with “The Interview Queen” Alicia Atout, who is with Willow Nightingale. The Babe with the Power is upset that Holidead keeps picking on her. Well, Willow is happy to give Holidead a fight, and show her dark side.
We join up Emilio Sparks, talking with Myron Reed. He asks where his head is, trying to get that clickbait. Reed ain’t having it with Sparks, but before he can get heated, the room goes dark, and who should appear but Karli Perez. She notes that Reed has lost his group and the MLW Middleweight title, and her tarot card says he still has a long ways to fall. But, she’ll be there if he wants to be picked up. On a scale of one to Elvira, Karli is proving to be the Mistress of the Dark in MLW.
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469116122817605633?s=20
Hammerstone is in his ring gear walking in the hallway, when he is jumped by “Matanza”, and then we get static.
It’s promo time from 5150, and Konnan keeps it 100 as he says he’s the calm before the storm. Slice Boogie states that they’re going home as champs, and they’re prepared to do anything to take the goold. The Radioactive Papi Rivera is also fired up and says taking the tag belts represents everything they got into the business and they’re sending Los Parks empty-handed.
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469116563936710659?s=20
We get Alicia Atout with an expose on the rise and fall of Contra Unit, and what has happened since running roughshod in MLW with Jacob Fatu as the longest reigning Heavyweight champion, to the group imploding at War Chamber. She states Mads Krügger is in the fighting pits of South Africa (and hopefully learning to enunciate while wearing his mask); Ikuro Kwon is in Japan, training with Tajiri. No one has heard from Josef Samael and Fatu. The mind boggles as to what it all means.
Hammerstone and “Matanza” are still fighting until security tries to break them up before static hits again.
We’ll try to catch up with them later, but now for a match somebody wanted to happen, it’s…
nZo vs. Matt Cross
Best sign in the crowd tonight said, “All these Free Agents, and we get nZo?!” Ha! Genius. The fans give chants of “How you do-in? *clapclap*clapclapclap*, as the match is underway with a collar and elbow tie up, and nZo takes the advantage in a headlock. The pace quickens, but MDogg sends nZo to the ropes and delivers a standing dropkick to a corner cartwheel elbow to a flying crossbody. He covers nZo for a two count. nZo grabs Cross’ tights and rams his head in to the middle turnbuckle, which leads to…
Ads (you know, if I had a dime for all these dumb ads in the middle of the action, this would add up to…Zero dimes, since no one is sponsoring my page or showering me in dimes. How you doin’?)
Back in the ring, and nZo grounds Cross in a chinlock. Cross tries to get up, but nZo keeps him off his feet. He continues to break down MDogg by hyperextending his leg, followed by a basement dropkick to Cross to cover for a two count. This is a different side of nZo, as he continues to put the hurt on Cross. MDogg manages to turn up the offense with a double foot stomp to nZo’s back to cover for a two count.
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469119983808663562?s=20
Cross goes up top, but nZo gets to his feet and cuts him off at the pass. From there, nZo gets a Razors Edge to Cross in the center of the ring, and then he gets him back up to hit a lungblower to cover for another two count. Now, nZo goes for a cross body, and MDogg is up in time for nZo to eat his boot. Cross covers for another two count. Cross goes up top again, and nZo still manages to cut him off, but Cross shoves him off. A shooting star press misses the mark, but Cross gets a springboard cutter to nZo. He Showboats a bit like the Real1, and he covers for a close two count.
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469120798246031362?s=20
At that point, nZo tries to crawl out of the ring, but Cross drags him back to the center, as nZo hangs on to the ring apron for dear life. The ref gets his hands off the Apron, and as he tend to that side of the ring, nZo gets a low blow to a DunZo (falling tree boot) to get the tainted win.
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469121375084425217?s=20
Your Winner via Pinfall: nZo
After the match, KC Navarro comes out to join commentary, but nZo blindsides him and crotches him on the guardrails. Adding insult to injury, nZo gets Navarro in the Razor’s Edge to the ring post and nZo leaves, leaving Navarro writhing in pain.
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469122003810590722?s=20
Next week, Tajiri will defend Middleweight belt in Japan against Atsugi Aoyagi. Uhhh, Yes, please!
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469122711603527680?s=20
Backstage, Richard Holliday is with Alicia Atout, and he knows that they don’t celebrate Christmas in Canada, so he offers her a present in the form of a Dynastic mug. Before Atout can be more outraged by this self-centered “gift”, Hammerstone comes in the picture and is brawling with “Matanza” and he uses mug to smash over his head, and then gets a chain to finally knock the beast out. Your Boy Hammer is worn out, as Holliday is upset that he smashed Atout’s “gift.” Even Hammerstone is perplexed by Holliday’s shallowness, and that’s saying something.
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469123019696136196?s=20
Now back to Emilio Sparks with Holidead, Arez and Dr. Dax with their briefcase full of money. Rolling up is 5150, who admires Sparks’ Air Jordan’s. Rivera is getting ready to jump him because those kicks are in his size, but Konnan advises to focus on the match ahead, and they’ll catch up later.
With a less than twelve minutes left, let’s get to your Main Event…
Philly Street Fight for MLW World Tag Team Championship Match: Los Parks (c) vs. 5150 (Slice Boogie and Rivera, with Konnan and Dr. Julius Smoke)
5150 arrive to the ring with the shopping cart o’ plunder, and somewhere New Jack is smiling. L.A. Park and Hijo de L.A. Park arrive with the belts, but no sign of L.A. Park, Jr. Doesn’t matter, because as soon as the bell rings, any semblance of a wrestling match goes out the window. Los Park hit tope suicidas to 5150n on the outside, and the plunder gets into play quickly and often, as chairs are used on Boogie and Rivera, then rakes, and all sorts of various weaponry, except the kitchen sink.
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469124359126200321?s=20
Rivera nails a crossbody to the outside and we go to…
Ads (How long, O Lord, must I put up with these stupid ads in the middle of the action?)
Back to the ring, and Hijo and Boogie face off, and The King of the Concrete Jungle delivers a fallaway slam and kips up. Papa Park gets in the mix, and The Chairman of Lucha Libre works over Boogie. Boogie returns the favor with a German suplex and chops, but Hijo comes back in the ring and nails a sunset bomb to cover for a two count. Now Rivera is back in the ring and he hits a nice standing Spanish Fly. He covers but coming from under the ring is…Wait, It’s L.A. Park, and Junior has been fighting as Papa Park the entire time! At any rate, Papa Park gets Rivera with a spear and tries to hide back under the ring, but now Homicide appears and drags Papa Park out from underneath the ring to slug it out up the walkway to the back.
Los Parks get Boogie in a powerbomb/lungblower combo, but he rolls out before Los Parks can get the pin.
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469125786401656837?s=20
Rivera comes in with a steel char. He tosses it to L.A. Park, Jr., and to the delight of the ECW Arena nails a Van Daminator. But Hijo comes back and nails Rivera with a sunset bomb for another two count. As the fans chant for “Tables”, Hijo bring out a wooden board, and set up Rivera on the board in the corner. As Hijo taunts, Rivera ducks out, as Boogie tackles Hijo through the board. Now in control, Boogie and Rivera set up Hijo with the 456 Head Crack (a double stomp/DVD combo) to cover for one, two, and three!
https://twitter.com/MLW/status/1469126130762502148?s=20
Your Winners, and New MLW Tag Team Champions: 5150
Rivera and Boogie get the straps and celebrate their huge win to the Philly faithful.
We head out to the parking lot as Kane and Not King Moe ™ roll up. Tankman comes out to have a few words with the Openweight champ, as Kane gets out of dodge and speeds away as the show fades to black.
