Big Strong Mims is finally getting the recognition he deserves as the NWA World Television champion, and he wants to take on all comers. Enter his Magnum Muscle tag partner, Dak Draper, and they look to have a friendly bout…in theory. The Southern Six have been running roughshod over the National Wrestling Alliance, but The Miserably Faithful might offer them a challenge in the main event.
This is the second part of the Return to Roberts at the Roberts Arena in Sarasota, FL. Joe Galli, Tim Storm, and Danny Dealz have the call, and your First Match of the night is for the…
NWA World Television Title Match: Big Strong Mims(c) vs. Dak Draper
As always, the match will be contested with a 6:05 time limit. Pinfalls and submissions apply, and if there is a countout it gets marked as a win for the Television champ.
Once the bell rings, each man gives their Magnum Muscle handshake that looks a little stiff, and Draper forces Mims into the corner to show off his power. He then attempts a Full Nelson on Mims at 5:00, but the champ is just big and strong and breaks the submission with ease. They each go to standing switches until a deep arm drag by Draper at 4:15 takes Mims off his feet. They hit the ropes and Mims comes with an arm drag but Draper transitions midair to a headlock takedown. He quickly goes to a series of pins to no avail, and Mims is now beginning to show signs of frustration. Mims gives Draper a boot to the gut and slaps his tag partner across the mouth at 2:45.
He’s got a little mean streak going and then lands a belly-to-belly suplex to cover for a two count with 1:51 on the clock. Mims rushes at him in the corner, but Draper gets a boot up and clotheslines the champ, and then follows with a springboard back elbow at 1:05 and he is getting fired up. Draper nails him with a slam, and Mims rolls out at 0:34 and lets the clock wind down, which means…
Your Winner via Count Out: Big Strong Mims
Draper asks for five more minutes and Mims takes his title and starts to walk away, giving his tag partner the side eye as he walks to the back.
Not quite how I imagined this would go, but I’m very curious what the fallout will be down the road.
Kyle Davis is with Aaron Stevens and Blunt Force Trauma. They will face The Fixers in two weeks with their NWA Tag Team titles on the line, and Stevens says that is hardly enough time to prepare. Pain and decimation are coming their way, and Stevens promises that they cannot stop his monsters.
Let’s head back to ringside for a…
Mixed Tag Team Match: Thom Latimer and Kamille vs. Looks that Kill (Bryan Idol and Natalia Markova)
This is being billed as a street fight, so there are no rules as Kamille and Markova brawl to the outside and Idol and Latimer stay in the ring and duke it out. Idol catches the King of all Evil with a knee lift but gets sent over the top rope to crash on the floor below. Markova attacks from behind with a high kick to the back to head to send Latimer out, and then Kamille reciprocates in kind. She gets back in the ring and there’s a cutter by Markova for a two count and as Kamille rolls to the outside, the Crush dives between the ropes to connect on The Brickhouse. She and Idol slam Latimer and Kamille along the barricades and continue to brawl into the Sarasota crowd.
They fight up to the ramp, and Latimer sets Markova up for a piledriver and Idol makes the save. Kamille sends her off the ramp and then tosses Idol to Markova to knock them both out. They drag him back to the ring to set up for a double-team move until Idol escapes and attacks Latimer up the top turnbuckle. Kamille climbs up and tries to help, but Markova sneaks up from behind and sends them all down in the Tower of Doom. She nails the Beautiful Destruction to Kamille but can’t put her away. The former Women’s champ tries to follow with the spear but ends up taking down Latimer, and Markova delivers a double arm DDT finishing her off with a pin for the three count.
Your Winners via Pinfall: Bryan Idol and Natalia Markova
EC3 responds to Matt Cardona’s death match challenge from last week. He declines, in favor of an Ultimate Match of Death.
the #overMAN (me) responds to the challenge of the #indyGOD (@themattcardona) for a #DEATHMATCH@nwa#Paranoia.#TUMoDpic.twitter.com/8UOur0HhWk
— ecIII (@therealec3) December 15, 2023
It’ll be The OverMan versus The Indy God at Paranoia in Ft. Lauderdale, FL on January 13th.
As for what an Ultimate Match of Death entails? Who knows and who cares? Enjoy this while you can!
Kayle Davis is in the ring with The Southern Six and Alex Taylor despite weather forecasts, there is a slight chance of “snow” on the horizon. Morton gets on the mic and tells the fans they can be in a deodorant commercial since they sweat no one. Morton says they are the now and that is the Southern Six. Finally, Mason channels his inner Rick Rude and calls out the Sarasota sweat hogs. But ultimately, when you’re hot, you’re hot, and when you’re not…
Well, The Miserably Faithful make their way to the ring, and Mitchell talks down to the Southern Six. He says that they are surrounded by their own kind, which is a buncha rednecks, white trash, and blue-collared scum. They don’t like knowing anything about them and don’t want to know them, and just like the fans, The Southern Six are so stupid as to agree to a match with his Miserably Faithful crew.
Mitchell goes on to say that his group is the opposite of Taylor in that they “conclusively take crazy bumps, break the Internet, and go viral without winding up in a hospital.” Speaking of crazy “bumps,” Mitchell does offer Davis an herbal regimen from his jacket pocket, and Davis replies quickly, “Okay, folks, we’re going to take a break! We’re not doing this again.”
(Author’s Note: Yes, I’m a big fan of tongue-in-cheek humor, as well as bear-poking as much as the next man. However, I don’t know what the endgame is with that segment, but if it’s to enrage the Internet smarks, then bravo. If they are trying to bite the hand that feeds them concerning The CW app…that can have some consequences down the road. I say this as a person who went to Catholic school for nine years in Utah; there is a lot of fun poking at the institutions that act all holier-than-thou. But if the heat is around the corner, tread carefully.)
Now for the Main Event, and it’s a six-man tag match between…
The Southern Six (“Thrillbilly” Silas Mason, Kerry Morton, and Alex Taylor) vs. The Miserably Faithful (Judais, Gaagz the Gymp, and Sal the Pal)
Sal’s latest ring gear has him in a white outfit with a turtleneck. I gotta say, it’s a very Heavens Gate look worthy of Marshall Applewhite. The only thing missing is Nike Cortez shoes. Commit to the bit, Sal.
The bell rings, and Sal and Morton start and he doesn’t feel love as The Future Legend gets stomped on. Now Taylor tags in, and Sal stomps him as well. Tag to Gaagz and after a distraction by Morton, things do not look good for the Gymp. It gets worse as Mason comes in and he gives the masked Gymp a choke slam, and The Southern Six cut off any support. He somehow escapes the corner and a lucky tag to Sal gets him back in the ring and he makes short work with his offense and nails a springboard crossbody for a two count.
Mason yags back in and Sal has an answer for Big Daddy Thrill. He drops the big man on the middle ropes and then goes for a tiger feint kick, but it gets blocked and Mason turns it into a side slam for a two count. Taylor gets back in and sets him up on the top rope, but he bites his head and Sal drops him with a running tiger bomb for another count of two. They are both down and each man crawls to their respective corners. There’s the hot tag to Judais and he and Mason go full Godzilla versus King Kong. but in the end, it is The Priest of Punishment that is en Fuego.
The match breaks down to a Pier Six brawl, but the Southern Six get the advantage and prepare to piledrive the big man but can’t. Judais escapes and gives a slam to Taylor, then a fallaway slam to Morton. Mason stops that and he reels back to his corner as he and Taylor nail him with their Six Speed finisher, but Gaagz managed a blind tag to be the legal man. The numbers catch up to Gaagz until Sal tries to pull Taylor out of the ring and stun Mason. He climbs up top, but Mason slaps the taste out his mouth, and then he and Taylor double team with an electric chair suplex to Sal. Morton is in and his Kiss it Goodbye misses the mark, and Gaagz is back in and nails the Code Red for another two count. As he unzips the mask for the tongue, Mason sends the masked man on a Thrillride and drags Morton over so he covers for the one, two, and three.
Your Winners via Pinfall: The Southern Six
Once again, business is booming with The Southern Six as the show goes to the credits.
