Well, there wasn’t a lot of asphalt to burn up as there hasn’t been a lot of lead-up we have finally reached our destination: Evolution 2. It only took seven years. Liv Morgan’s injury seemed to cause a few weeks ago seems to cause massive confusion but I am not sure why. Replace Morgan with Roxanne Perez. Done like dinner.
The lead-up to most of the card short-changed a lot of the participants but that is to be expected. After all these years and all the talent they have on the main roster and NXT the WWE still struggles to juggle more than two women’s angles, feuds at any one time. Still, they do have the strongest women’s division in all of wrestling.
Unlike Jim Cornette, whose repulsive sexism continues to be endorsed and amplified by Brian Last who bungled into a real-life golden goose, we actually watch and respect wrestling outside of WWE and AEW, including that which just so happens to be produced and performed by people with vaginas. This is 2024. There’s no excuse not to look beyond the narrowest lens imaginable.
And with that aside, our show begins…
WWE Evolution 2 Results
Stephanie McMahon joins Joe Tessitore as hosts of the event. Stephanie explains that during the first Evolution was during a time when women were still breaking through. Now, they headline shows and they are the main events. Stephanie cannot wait until Jade Cargill takes on Naomi later tonight.
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Bayley vs. Lyra Valkyria – Women’s Intercontinental Championship
You know the deal. Far too much action to call so we will do our best. You would think Bayley would take a shot at Lynch at the start but nope. She clocks Lyra right out of the ring. Lyra puts Lynch in a swinging cradle so that Bayley can give her a running knee right in the face. Lyra is caught by Bayley and Becky who work together to slam her head-first into the announce table. Lyra tries a Tornado DDT off the announce table. Becky catches her slamming her into the steel ring steps. Lynch slams Bayley into a ringside barricade.
Bayley smacks her knee pretty darn good. It is all Becky dominating Bayley as Lyra lays hurt on the floor. Lyra returns splashing both Becky and Bayley from the top rope. As Lyra goes to pin Lynch with a bridging pin Bayley lands her flying elbow off the top rope. With Lyra upside down in a corner, Bayley executes a sunset powerbomb on Lynch into Lyra. Bayley has Becky set up for a Rose Plant. Lyra dives off the top rope with a flying leg drop on Bayley and Lynch. Becky saves the match by diving across the ring and breaking up the pin after Lynch drops Lyra with a Manhandle Slam.
Lyra does the same when Bayley puts Lynch down with a Bayley to Belly. Lyra has the match won with Nightwing on Lynch. Bayley breaks the pinfall. Bayley has Lyra down with Rose Plant. Lynch sneaks in rolling up Bayley for the 1, 2, 3.
Winner: …and still WWE Women’s Intercontinental Champion, Becky Lynch.
Rating: 8.5 /10
Mark Henry, Vickie Guerrero and NXT’s Ava are shown at ringside. Vickie has a microphone and yells: “Excuse me!” a handful of times.
Jacy Jayne (c) vs. Jordynne Grace – NXT Women’s Championship
Blake Monroe comes out with Jordynne Grace. Grace bulldozes Jayne early on splashing her on the floor as Monroe cheers her on. Jayne guillotines Grace on the ropes kicking her to the floor. The crowd starts cheering for Grace as Jayne beats her down in the corner. When the official breaks things up, Fallon Henley cheap shots Grace.
Wade Barrett keeps calling Fatal Influence, Fatal Attraction. Spinebuster by Grace. Both women start throwing hands in the middle of the ring. A folding powerbomb by Grace scores her a two count. Jayne’s draping neckbreaker gets a two count from the official.
“You will never be champion! I run this division!” Jacey yells in Grace’s face.
Jacey’s kick is caught by Grace who just lifts her up slamming her over. Grace kicks out of a hurricanrana from the top rope and a running knee. Jasymn Nyx has the title belt. Monroe clotheslines her down. Monroe takes control of the belt. Falon argues with the official. Jayne reverses a whip into the ropes. Blake accidentily hits Grace in the back as he bounces off the ropes. Jacey pins Grace to retain. Monroe hands the belt back to Jacey Jayne and smiles.
Winner: …and still NXT Women’s Champion, Jacye Jayne.
Rating: 7.5 / 10
Jazz, Ivory, Jacqylen and Maryse are shown in the audience.
Raquel Rodriguez and Roxanne Perez (c) vs. Alexa Bliss and Charlotte Flair vs. The Kabuki Warriors (Kairi Sane and Asuka) vs. Sol Ruca and Zaria – WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships
Raquel takes over the match steamrolling over Sane. She dares Bliss to enter the ring. The official is distracted. Raquel and Perez beatdown Sane. When Bliss is tagged she runs over Perez. She gets a massive cheer. Zaria and Bliss come face to face. Zaria stops a DDT by Bliss, lifts her into a standing suplex. The angle here is that Bliss cannot seem to tag Charlotte in. When she is, the crowd explodes. She takes on both members of Judgment Day chopping them down. Charlotte takes everyone with clotheslines, kicks and boots. She almost pins Perez with a spear. Asuka gives everyone a German Suplex. Charlotte pulls Bliss out of the way just in time to avoid Zaria’s spear. Zaria spears Ruca instead. As Perez splashes Charlotte on the floor Raquel chokeslams Ruca for the pin.
Winners: …and still WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, Raquel Rodriguez and Roxanne Perez.
Rating: 7.5 / 10
Torrie Wilson, Melina and Molly Holly are shown at ringside.
Tiffany Stratton (c) vs. Trish Stratus – WWE Women’s Championship
Trish flips off the ropes sending Tiffany to the mat. Trish has it all over Tiffany. Trish throws the first punch and Tiffany returns fire. Tiffany snaps suplexes Trish in the ring. They go under the ropes where Trish sends Tiffany flying. A tornado DDT off the ropes has Tiffany kicking out at two. They trade chops. A kick knocks Trish down. Flipping back elbow to Trish. Tiffany turns a Falcon Arrow into a slam on her own knees. Tiffany hits a swanton from the top rope for a two count. Tiffany attempts the Prettiest Moonsault Ever. Trish pulls her down. Chick Kick for a two count. Trish gets a two count from Stratusfaction after Trish block the Moonsaul by putting her knees up. Tiffany blocks a moonsault with her knees. Alabama Slam and Prettiest Moonsault Ever for a three count.
Winner: …and still WWE Women’s Champion, Tiffany Stratton.
Rating: 8 / 10
Trish Stratus is in the ring alone. She is disappointed. The fans chant: Thank You, Trish!
Alundra Blayze (Michael Cole calls her Madusa at first) and Leilani Kai are at ringside.
Jade Cargill vs. Naomi – No Holds Barred Match
Bianca is out first as the special guest referee. Naomi rushes out with her briefcase as Jade makes her entrance. Jade clocks her one. Naomi slams Jade’s head into the ring steps. Jade stops Naomi from using a kendo stick by kicking her in the stomach and slamming her to the arena floor. As Jade sets up a table, the crowd cheers for tables. Naomi pushes Jade into the steel steps. Naomi batters Jade with a kendo stick. Naomi tosses steel chairs into the ring and a garbage can. Jade spears Naomi on the floor. Jade pulls a tool box out from under the ring. Naomi gives Jade a DDT onto a steel chair. Naomi pulls a chair out from the tool box.
Naomi climbs up on the turnbuckle choking Jade with the steel chain. Jade slams Naomi down. She takes possession of the chain. She punches Naomi in the face. Jade grabs a camera hitting Naomi in the stomach with it. Jade puts a trash can on Naomi’s head and kicks it. Jade takes the entire tool box, raised it above her head and throws it at Naomi who is laying on the floor. Naomi rolls out of the way. Naomi drop kicks Jade into a TV monitor that explodes.
Naomi uses upturned table legs to maul Jade’s face. Naomi drives Jade into the apron. Naomi runs at Jade with a steel chair knocks her off the apron. Jade crashes through a table on the floor. Naomi lays Jade on a table inside the ring. Jade nails Naomi with a steel chair to the back. A Jaded off the second rope and through a table for a three count.
Winner: Jade Cargill
Rating: 8 / 10
No. 1 Contender’s Battle Royal
Your participants are: Nikki Bella, Chelsea Green, Natalya, Maxxine Duprie, Jaida Parker, Lash Legend, Lola Vice, Zelina Vega, Kelani Jordan, Tatum Paxley, Izzy Dame, B-Fab, Michin, Ivy Nile, Candace LeRae, Nia Jax, Stephanie Vaquer, Giulia.
The Raw, Smackdown and NXT factions align in different corners. Jax kicks out Paxley and Dame right away. Kelani is knocked into Paxley and Dame who put her on the announce table. Kelani walks on her hands back to the ring. The crowd starts cheering for Nikki Bella. Chelsea Green stops Stephanie from giving Bella the Devil’s Kiss. Michael Cole calls Candace LeRae, Candance Michelle over and over again. Michin is eliminated. She grabs Green to pull her out. Alba Fyre dives through the ropes to stop her.
The last six women are Chelsea Green. Nia Jax, Alba Fyre, Piper Niven, Nikki Bella, Lash Legend, Lola Vice, Stephanie Vaquer. Fyre is dumped out. Stephanie and Nikki boot out Niven. Lola is dumped over the top rope. Stephanie gives Green the Devil’s Kiss. Bella throws Chelsea out.
It is down to Bella, Jax, Legend and Stephanie. Lash Legend kicks Bella in the face. She is out. Lash was aiming for Jax who moved out of the way. Lash and Jax face off. Stephanie and Legend team up on Jax who is hanging onto the apron. They finally knock Jax off.
It is down to Stephanie and Legend. 619 to Legend. Stephanie and Legend fall onto the apron. Stephanie brains Lash with a Devil’s Kiss on the apron. Lash falls to the floor.
Winner: Stephanie Vaquer
Rating: 8 / 10
Iyo Sky (c) vs. Rhea Ripley – WWE Women’s World Championship
The first thing I would have done if I was Iyo Sky was rip the nose ring right out of Ripley’s face. I mean, if she is going to wear that to the ring she deserves what happens to her. Man, where did all of Rhea’s muscles go? I will say it again, it is amazing to realize that Rhea is only 5’7. She is only a giant compared to most of the women on the roster.
Rhea powers Iyo into a corner as she goes tit for tat with Iyo’s agility. Both women tell each other how much they respect each other. Drop kicks from Iyo knock Rhea silly. Iyo goes for a Suicide Dive. Rhea just punches her in the face. Iyo moonsaults Rhea on the floor.
Iyo catches Rhea in a 619, locks her in a head scissors and dumps her on the floor. Rhea hits Iyo with a knee in the face. She throws her off the apron into the announce table. Rhea rips Iyo into the ringside barricade and the steel steps. Rhea slingshots Iyo off the ropes for a two count.
Iyo spikes Rhea with a DDT. Both women lay in the middle of the ring as the crowd chants…This is awesome!
They get to their knees and trade forearms and haymakers. Iyo flips through a powerbomb stomping on Rhea’s abdomen. Iyo lays out Rhea with a suicide dive on the floor. Iyo sends Rhea head over heels with a missile drop kick from the top rope. Bullet Train Attack for a two count.
A Poison Rana spikes Rhea for a two count. Iyo steps over Rhea. Iyo gets on the top rope. Rhea gives her a Razor’s Edge off the ropes and a deadlift powerbomb for a two count. Iyo turns a Riptide into a sleeper. Rhea has to back Iyo into a corner to end that. Rhea ducks out of the way. Iyo drop kicks the official out of the ring. Rhea hits the Riptide and has the match won but there is no official to count the pinfall.
Rhea nails Iyo with another Razor’s Edge. The fight goes into the crowd. Iyo is tied up in a set of railings as Rhea just pummels her. Iyo leaps off some equipment cases onto Rhea. The fans respond with…Holy shit!
Iyo stomps Rhea onto steel ring steps. Rhea is thrown back over the the ringside barricade. Iyo charges at Rhea. She misses and crashes into the announce table. Iyo powerslams Rhea onto the arena floor. She climbs to the top rope as the official gets to her feet. An Over The Moonsault only gets Iyo a two count.
Iyo double stomps Rhea. Iyo climbs to the top rope. Rhea rolls to the apron. Iyo has her head slammed into a steel post. Both women hit the ring after a Spanish Fly. I am not sure who got the worst of that.
Naomi’s music hits! She cashes in the briefcase!
She hits Iyo in the head with it. She whips Rhea into a ring post. Naomi pins Iyo with her splash.
After Naomi leaves and celebrates with the belt, Rhea helps Iyo up. They hug and walk up the aisle together.
Yup. You have just watched one of the best matches and events of the year.
Winner: …and new WWE Women’s World Champion…Naomi.
Rating: 10 / 10
