Somewhere, Jim Cornette’s head just exploded. That’s the thought that kept going through my head watching the many, many comedy segments that packed this week’s episode of Impact. And while the serious matches delivered for the most part, one can’t help but wonder if the pendulum swung just a bit too far toward the ha-ha’s this time around. Certainly some may think so. But, as the saying goes, if they don’t like it, they probably weren’t watching it anyway.
Match 1: Trey Miguel vs. Eddie Edwards (c) – for the Impact World Championship
The two started off with a handshake in a show of respect. There was some good scientific wrestling to start and Trey was getting the upper hand, but Eddie used his strength to take control with a sweet overhead suplex and a spinning spinebuster. Trey came back with some dazzling quickness, hitting Eddie with a series of headkicks, but ate a pair of knees in a split-legged moonsault attempt. The two of them slugged it out in the middle of the ring, with Trey once again using his speed to take Eddie down for a near fall, and then another after a sweet reversal into a Tiger Driver. Eddie powered up, though, and hit his own Tiger Driver for a very close count. With Trey staggered, Eddie hit a Boston Knee Party to get the win. This was a good babyface match that let both of them shine, and really helped elevate Trey as a main-stage player.
Winner, and still Impact World Champion: Eddie Edwards
After the match, Eric Young came out to the entrance stage, threatened Eddie, and left.
Next up came the debut of “Wrestle House”, a new feature that’s an over-the-top parody of cheesy reality shows. There were some pretty funny lines – a lot of fourth-wall breaking, some schlocky CGI, a few winks and clever callbacks to alumni and to other companies, and Tommy Dreamer dressed like a douchey reality show host. Overall, the opening segment was pretty funny.
The housemates scrambled around the house, racing to find one of the few bedrooms in the place. Crazzy Steve and Acey Romero started arguing over which one would get to sleep in the ring that was set up in the backyard, leading to a match, with the winner getting the ring.
Wrestle House Match: Crazzy Steve vs. Acey Romeo – Winner Gets the Ring match
After a bit of comedy, Acey Romero clamped on a sleeper, and Steve passed out. This went for about a minute.
Winner: Acey Romero
Next came a lengthy series of backstage vignettes, promos, and video packages.
- Backstage, Fallah Bahh and TJP were talking when Rohit Raju interrupted. After some more comedy about social distancing protocols, Raju needled TJP about wanting an X-Division Championship match against Chris Bey until TJP finally said he was interested. So then Raju ran off to find Bey and stooge on TJP. He offered to be in Bey’s corner as his backup, and Bey agreed.
- Elsewhere, Gia interviewed Ace Austin and Mad Man Fulton. Austin said he had a problem with the Good Brothers. He said that the two of them would be watching with special interest the Brothers’ match against Reno Scum tonight.
- A quick hype video aired for the new Tag Team Champions, the Motor City Machine Guns.
- Backstage, The North said they would be exercising their rematch clause against the Guns for the Tag Team Championship. Josh did all the talking, as Page was too devastated from their loss last week to talk.
- The Flashback Moment of the Week was the match between the Guns and Beer Money from Victory Road 2010. The Guns won the match and the TNA Tag Team Champions.
- Backstage, Katie Forbes showed her iPhone photos to Rob Van Dam. She will be unleashing her pics later tonight.
- An EC3 hype video aired. He said that he doesn’t fear his past, but he is going to destroy his past in order to move ahead with his future. He has to do it in order to control the narrative. This was excellent.
- Backstage, Moose put himself over for beating Fallah Bahh last week. He refused to talk about EC3 who confronted him last week. Moose said he wouldn’t invite EC3 a title shot this week, but he would offer it to someone else on the roster. Heath interrupted and said that his contract wasn’t with Impact, but with TNA and he was granted a title shot. After he called Moose’s bluff about there not being a TNA Championship committee, Moose had no choice but to grant him a title shot next week. Scott D’Amore came up to Heath and told him that if he beat Moose for the championship next week, he’d also earn an Impact contract.
Yes, that was eight in a row. #Pacing
Match 3: Kimber Lee vs. Deonna Purrazzo
Purrazzo’s Knockouts Championship was not on the line for this one. Lee started off ferociously, sending Purrazzo to the floor in the opening seconds, and then stretching her out in the middle of the ring. Purrazzo was able to turn things around with a hard elbow stomp, and then targeted Lee’s arm. Lee fought back, though, and hit a couple of enziguris to slow down the champ. But a flurry by Deonna saw her take back control, and after a vicious arm-breaker, she locked on the armbar to get the submission victory. Good match with a simple story. Purrozza isn’t Tessa Blanchard by any measure, but her stuff looks good and she looks like she really wants to hurt her opponents.
Winner: Deonna Purrazzo
After the match, Jordynne Grace stomped to the ring to confront Purrazzo. Though she was wearing a sling to the ring, she tore it off and attached Purrazzo, swarming her with punches, sending Purrazzo scrambling.
Backstage, Katie Forbes ran into Sami Callihan but confused him for a fan and told him that if he wanted to see her, he’d have to visit her website.
A quick Brian Myers teaser video aired.
Back at the Wrestle House, Crazzy Steve agreed to bunk with Johnny Swinger. Meanwhile, the Deaners argued over which one of them snored the loudest. And then they argued over which one of them liked Susie (Cousin Jake has a bit of a crush on her), leading to a match to see who gets the room.
Match 4: Cousin Jake vs. Cody Deaner – Loser Leaves the Room match
This was a short brawl that ended when Jake hit a short-arm Boss Man Slam to get the quick pin.
Winner: Cousin Jake
After the match, the feuding cousins made up. And later Cody found a tour bus to sleep in.
Time for more talking!
- Backstage, Sami Callihan found Ken Shamrock and asked for his explanation about what happened at Slammiversary. Ken was still upset, and told Sami he was leaving and wasn’t sure when he’d be back.
- After he left, Katie Forbes pointed out Sami to Rob Van Dam, telling RVD that Sami had been creeping on her earlier. RVD confronted Sami who said cryptically that he would never see Sami.
- Katie Forbes and RVD came to the ring and her entrance alone is like she’s trying to singlehandedly resurrect the Attitude Era. She said that she was going to give everyone a free preview of the saucy pictures that she has available on her website. But all the pictures were photoshopped with Sami Callihan’s face replacing hers. Katie got upset and threw a tantrum in the ring. Katie Forbes’ acting was “WTF am I watching?” levels of bad. Like, remember how bad Claire Lynch was? She was Meryl Streep compared to Katie Forbes.
- Dez and Wentz did a Treehouse table segment with Suicide joining the fun. They all blazed up.
- Josh Matthews and Madison Rayne did a virtual interview with Rich Swann. Swann was upset that he returned from a 7-month absence due to injury only to get attacked by Eric Young. He said he didn’t want to talk about his medical condition, but that he would return to Impact next week to give everyone an update.
Match 5: Reno Scum (Adam Thornstowe and Luster the Legend) vs. the Good Brothers (Karl Anderson and Doc Gallows)
The Good Brothers physically dominated Thornstowe early on and it looked like it would be a quick one. Then Ace Austin came out to the entrance stage and sat down in a chair to take in the action, which caught the attention of Anderson, and with his back turned, Reno Scum capitalized. They double-teamed Anderson and cut off the ring to continue the punishment. Anderson was able to get the hot tag after a couple of minutes, and Gallows took over, leading to a quick Magic Killer and a win.
Winners: the Good Brothers
After the match, Austin charged the ring. The Good Brothers dared him to enter the ring, and with them looking his way, Mad Man Fulton sneak-attacked them and the two teams brawled around the arena. They fought their way to the back, into a backstage hallway, and finally out the exit door and outside the arena. The video feed got cut after a huge kick by Gallows sent Fulton crashing into the camera, apparently breaking it, and the screen went black to end the show.
