Impact: Everyone wants a shot at Swann; someone takes a shot at Bravo

Bob Kapur

Impact: Everyone wants a shot at Swann; someone takes a shot at Bravo

With Bound For Glory in the rear-view mirror, the goals of this week’s episode of Impact were two-fold: one, to kick off a new season of feuds; and two, to celebrate the wedding of John E. Bravo and Rosemary and wrap up that storyline which had been going on for a few months. They did a good job on that front with no major plot-holes being opened… except for the one in Bravo’s chest.

The show started off with Eric Young beating the heck out of Rich Swann in the backstage area, presumably after a sneak attack. He battered Swann into the arena and down the entrance ramp, and then around ringside, bashing the champ on the apron and the ringside barriers. Swann tried to fight back, but Young would not be stopped. He threw Swann in the ring, and was going for the kill, until a bunch of referees and security guards ran in and Scott D’Amore directed them to pull Young off of him. Young demanded a rematch for the title, but D’Amore refused. Swann was fired up, though, and he told D’Amore that he wanted to fight Young right then and there.

Match 1: Eric Young vs. Rich Swann (c) – for the World Championship

Young immediately went on the attack, but he crashed and burned on a top rope attack, allowing Swann to catch his breath and recover from the pre-match beatdown. Swann rocked Young with some huge spin kicks (he was barefoot, as he removed the dress shoes he had been wearing when he was attacked) and a big splash, but Young caught him in an aerial move, and hit Swann with a huge Powerbomb – that looked great. Another huge roundhouse kick to the head gained Swann some separation and he followed that up with a Backspring Elbow and a Phoenix Splash to get the pin.

This was a good opening segment, and the match was good, though it felt a bit rushed for a title match. It will be interesting to see if Young stays in the title picture, or if they move him onto a different feud. While Swann’s definitive win suggests closure of this chapter, where else could Young go at this point?

Winner, and still World Champion: Rich Swann

Backstage, Havok emerged from a room and was distressed when she told Neveah that James Mitchell had been resurrected, so that he can officiate the wedding of Rosemary and John E. Bravo. Neveah said that she had a bad feeling about it.

All the Knockouts were in the hallway waiting for news about the Knockouts Tag Team Championship tournament. Kaleb dropped the update that it would begin in three weeks. Alisha Edwards, Tenille Dashwood, and Alisha Edwards uneasily looked at each other, since none of them have partners, but Tenille scoffed at the idea of teaming up with either of them and left with Kaleb. Tasha Steelz and Kiera Hogan made fun of Alisha for being dissed, so Jordynne returned and said that she would team up with Alisha to take them on. She immediately regretted the decision, when Alisha got super-annoying.

Match 2: Tommy Dreamer vs. Brian Myers – Hardcore Hallowe’en Match

Dreamer upped his Road Warrior Animal tribute, this time coming out with makeup, a Mohawk, and spiked shoulderpads. Dreamer immediately took the match to the floor, hitting Myers with a big suplex on the entrance ramp. Dreamer tried to poke Myers’ eye out with one of the shoulderpad spikes, but Myers escaped. Myers tried to lift up a garbage can full of plunder, but it was too heavy. Dreamer battered him with a walker, and then he struggled with the can as well, barely getting it up and rolling it into the ring. After an exchange of beatings to each other’s crotchel areas, Myers was able to take over thanks to a garbage can shot to Tommy’s head and a road sign whack to Dreamer’s chest. Myers tripped Dreamer in a running charge, and Dreamer ate chair. But that seemed to motivate Dreamer, and he hit the Dusty Rhodes Bionic Elbow, and a big Cutter that got him a 2-count. Dreamer emptied a bag of Candy Corn and thumbtacks (not sure which one is harder to eat) into the ring, and was going for a top rope move. Myers climbed up to stop him, but got pushed hard into the horrible-tasting pile.

Dreamer propped a table up in the corner, but in the time it took for him to do that, Myers recovered and he dropped Dreamer with a big Clothesline. He was going to hit a home run on Dreamer’s face with a Singapore cane, but as he was taking aim, he didn’t see Swoggle climb out of the garbage can. Swoggle grabbed Myers’ little Brians with a set of BBQ tongs, leaving him howling in pain. Dreamer seized the opportunity, scooped up Myers, and leveled him with a Spicoli Driver through the table to get the pin.

This was a fun hardcore match. Probably the most entertaining thing Myers has done since coming to Impact.

Winner: Tommy Dreamer

Backstage, Gia Miller was with Heath and Rhino. Rhino revealed that he was going to use his “Call Your Shot” opportunity to go after the Tag Team Championship with Heath when the time was right. Heath was also glad that he will be signing his contract next week. Both of them tried to deny that Heath was injured at Bound For Glory, presumably thinking that it would affect the contract discussions.

Backstage, Reno Scum and Hernandez accosted Fallah Bahh and tried to steal back the money he’d stolen from Hernandez. Bahh said that he didn’t have the money anymore, since it went to help finance John E. Bravo’s wedding. They roughed him up a bit and left. After they had left, Bahh pulled out the wad of cash that he had hidden in an unfortunate bodily crevice.

Match 3: XXXL vs. the Rascalz (Dez and Wentz)

The action started before the bell even rang, with XXXL steamrolling over the smaller team. They isolated Wentz and muscled him around for a while, using their power and weight advantage to full effect. A desperate Wentz finally was able to get the tag, and Dez went to town on the big men. The referee lost control, and soon all four men were battling it out in the middle of the ring. In the end, Larry D had Dez down and went up top to finish things off. Wentz tried to break it up, but couldn’t withstand the power of the big men. Acey dispatched Wentz, and Larry D ended things with a big Superfly Splash onto Dez for the pin.

This was a good showcase for XXXL, who look like they are being positioned for a move up the card with that dominant win.

Winners: XXXL

Backstage, Scott D’Amore was meeting with Deonna Purazzo, her barrister Mr. Evans, and Kimber Lee. The barrister threatened legal action if D’Amore didn’t agree to strip Su Yung of the Knockouts Championship and return it to Purrazzo. D’Amore said he’d take care of it right away.

Gia Miller interviewed the Motor City Machine Guns, and they said that Alex Shelley would likely be feeling pain from the Piledriver he received from Josh Alexander at BFG for the next couple of months. The Guns said that when Shelley was back at 100%, they’d regain their titles from The North. XXXL barged in and said that they were pushing the Guns out of the way and taking their spot on the contention ladder. Jaw-jacking ensued, and XXXL left. Until, that is, they ran back and flattened Shelley, before running off, while Sabin checked on his partner.

Scott D’Amore was in the ring for the announcement. He said that he was refusing Mr. Evans’ threat of a lawsuit and that Impact management would not capitulate on his demands. This brought out Purrazzo, Evans and Lee. Lee and D’Amore argued, D’Amore dressed down Evans, and in a funny moment, made some allusions to Impact’s ongoing real-life court battles. D’Amore offered Purrazzo an opportunity to compete for the title next week instead of being tied up in court, and Purrazzo agreed. This brought out Su Yung, who grabbed the throats of Evans and Lee and misted D’Amore in the face. Purrazzo tried to attack her, but got caught and Yung locked in the Mandible Claw until Purrazzo was immobilized. Yung posed with the title while everyone else was laid out.

Backstage, Rich Swann and Willie Mack were talking with the Rascalz, and said he wasn’t able to party with them as planned, because as World Champion, he never gets the night off. The camera switched to a horror movie slasher perspective, and out walked Moose. After Moose insulted his upbringing, Swann charged at him, but the Rascalz pulled him away. Mack challenged Moose right then and there, but Moose told Mack that it was up to him to decide when it would happen. Moose has now got an Anton Chigurh vibe happening, speaking in low, even, threatening tones. Hopefully this marks a complete change in direction, to make him more of a serious badass – this could be a positive course correction.

Swann headed back to his locker room to find Sami Callihan and Ken Shamrock waiting for him. Callihan made a veiled threat to Swann, and Shamrock stared him down.

They showed highlights of Ken Shamrock’s Hall of Fame induction, including clips from some of the celebrity tribute videos, and Shamrock’s own speech.

In the locker room, The North were holding school on tag team wrestling for the security team. The Good Brothers walked in, and, as one may expect, this led to a brawl.

The Flashback Moment of the Week saw Rohit Raju retain his title by losing via cheap count-out to Willie Mack at Victory Road from earlier this year.

Jimmy Jacobs came into Rohit Raju’s locker room expecting a party, but nobody else was there. Raju bragged about his successful title defence at BFG. Jacobs reminded Raju that he only won by stealing the pin out from under TJP, so Raju kicked him out.

Backstage, John E. Bravo confronted Fallah Bahh about the shady move he played with Hernandez’ money. He revoked Fahh’s invitation to be his Best Man.

Match 4: Tasha Steelz and Kiera Hogan vs. Alisha Edwards and Jordynne Grace

The story in this one was that Grace was still annoyed with Edwards, but would grudgingly try to work with her for the sake of the Knockouts Tag Team Championship. They had the edge early on, but their lack of chemistry led to miscommunication, giving Steelz and Hogan control. They beat down Alisha for a while, until she was able to break loose. But instead of tagging in Jordynne when she had the chance, she tried to show off and fight some more, which backfired, and she got beat up some more. She finally got the tag, and Jordynne was on fire. But more miscommunication led to Alisha and Jordynne colliding huge, which staggered Alisha and left her vulnerable for a pin. Alisha and Jordynne argued for a bit after the match.

This was a decent match. Steelz and Hogan are really good at playing the cocky antagonists, and are probably the favourites to win the tournament. That being said, the fact that there are really only a couple of true teams in the Knockouts Division begs the question if a tournament to crown new champions is warranted. Somehow it doesn’t feel so special if most of the teams are random pairings.

Winners: Tasha Steelz and Kiera Hogan

Outside the building, Willie Mack was posing for a selfie with a fan, when Moose charged him from out of nowhere and flattened him.

Taya pulled Rosemary aside in her dressing room. She told Rosemary that Bravo had become a true Groomzilla, and that if Rosemary wanted to bail from the wedding, Taya would help. Rosemary said she wanted to go through with the wedding. Alisha came in, and Taya told her she had misgivings about the wedding.

Rosemary and John E. Bravo Wedding

A bunch of the locker room were standing ringside, which had been decorated with candles for the wedding. Team XXXL had amazing outfits paying tribute to the Nasty Boyz. Fallah Bahh came out dressed up as the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Swoggle was there, too, as the “ring imp.”

Then, red lighting and spooky chanting filled the arena for the arrival of Father James Mitchell, the officiant for the happy(?) occasion.

Crazzy Steve escorted Rosemary to the ring to give her away.

Mitchell asked if anyone felt that the vows should not go forward, and nobody said anything. Bravo spoke his vows, saying that nobody would ruin the wedding or their lives together. Rosemary’s vows were cryptically gothic, but again, nothing bad happened.

They went through the ceremony without a hitch, but as they went in to seal the deal with a kiss, the lights went off and the arena went dark. There was a loud commotion, and everyone started screaming. When the lights turned back on, Bravo was laying bleeding in the middle of the ring. Tommy Dreamer checked on him and asked “Who shot Bravo?” as the show ended on that cliffhanger.

This is one of those things that you’ll either like or hate. The whole Rosemary-Bravo pairing has been a silly diversion with several humourous moments, and luckily hasn’t eaten up tons of time on each show. While having this as the featured showcase on this one episode was fine as a one-off, hopefully they don’t devote significant time with this on every episode. Though something tells me I’m finally going to get that Crazzy Steve and Johnny Swinger buddy detective show that I’ve been hoping for. Fingers crossed.

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