Impact: Contract signing ends with Kazarian going through a table

Thomas Starr

Impact: Contract signing ends with Kazarian going through a table

Overall, the show was watchable. My favorite parts were the Santana vignette and Jody Threat. The rest of the show was same old, same old for modern wrestling.

The main event was a contract signing. Only they put both the women’s title contenders and the men’s title contenders out at the same time. Everyone was polite to each other, which did not make for good TV. Kazarian came out to spice things up, but also tested my patience as he went on and on.

TNA clearly defines their heels and babyfaces, which makes the show a lot easier to watch. There was nothing offensive on the show, either.

The in-ring action was cliché with the usual dives and trading strikes spots. Gresham vs. Alexander was a disappointment to me. I was bored during their match. They seemed to be going through the motions rather than trying to put on a good match.

Wendy Choo versus Jody Threat, for me, was the best match of the night. I cannot believe I am saying that about a Wendy Choo match, but here we are.

Jody Threat is a lot of fun. She is over the top and sloppy at times, but she has a lot of charisma and stands out on this show with her energy.

Laredo Kid vs. Jake Something vs. Frankie Kazarian vs. Sami Calihan vs. Jason Hutch vs. AJ Francis

The winner of this match will be #20 in another match at Bound for Glory and the winner of that match gets the Money in…I mean the Call Your Shot title? Briefcase? It was not clear, but whatever it is it means they can get a title shot for any belt over the next year. Got it? If fans need a graphic organizer to figure out the stipulation, you have probably overbooked it.

After a bunch of random moves and guys taking turns, AJ Francis won by kicking Calihan in the head and taking his pin attempt. Also, everyone who was in the match is in the Bound for Glory match.

Winner: AJ Francis

Jonathan Gresham did a promo talking about his depression and remembering who he was. He was a good six inches shorter than the interviewer. Way to make him look like a mini, TNA. Wrestlers talking about their sorrows is getting old quick.

A Mike Santana vignette aired. They had video of the area he grew up in and he talked like a normal person. That was great. It really humanized Santana and built some depth to his character.

Ash by Elegance Launch Party

The former Dana Brooke promised a makeover for Heather Reckless. They had cheap champagne bottles and punch bowls full of champagne? Okay. It looked cheap. Heather came out and looked great. The crowd chanted “basic white girl.”

Xia Brookside interrupted the champagne toast. Brookside recited some terrible scripted verbiage. Brinley Reece, who was attacked by Ash last week, came out behind the heels. It is hard to describe how bad this was, but the ridiculous punch bowls were there for Ash and Heather to put their faces in them. Heather put both hands down into the bowl and swished her hair around to try to make you think her face went in the bowl. It was not even close. If you are going to do it, do it.

Josh Alexander vs. Jonathan Gresham

This was the match that I was looking forward to the most, but the fans started the dueling chants early on and took me out of it. Alexander and Gresham did the “hit me” spot, which is the most cliché spot in wrestling today.

Eventually, Alexander lost his headgear and threw it to the ref. As the ref was getting rid of the headgear, Alexander hit Gresham with a piece of the gear. Then he hit his finish for the win.

Winner: Josh Alexander

Steve Maclin came in to save Gresham as the heels were working him over. The Northern Armory zip tied Maclin and Alexander beat him until Sami Calihan and Cody Deaner made the save.

Another Mike Santana vignette aired. He was in the Bronx this time. These were excellent.

Wendy Choo vs. Jody Threat

Jody Threat picked up the energy on this show. She ran out and went around the ring in an Ultimate Warrior-esque entrance. She looked goofy, but she certainly made an impression.

The finish came when Rosemary threw Choo’s pillow into the ring, which distracted Threat. Rosemary hit Threat and Choo got the pin. Lame. A good match with a silly ending.

Winner: Wendy Choo

The System did a promo backstage.

The System vs. The Hardys and ABC

Moose confronted an old woman in the crowd. She waved her cane at him. That was cool.

There was a lot going on in this match, which made it impossible to do a play-by-play. It was a good match where they (mostly) followed the rules. It ended with ABC hitting their finish for the win. ABC has a terrible name, but both men looked good in this match.

Winners: ABC and The Hardys

The System beat down ABC and The Hardys when Mike Santana came out for the save. Alisha Edwards distracted Santana long enough for The System to get the advantage on all the babyfaces.

The beatdown went on too long. The point had been made, but they decided to bring chairs in and use them. No one came out to stop this. It defies logic when they just stop the beatdown. Why not break some bones or snap some tendons?

Double Contract Signing

Santino Marrella introduced the contract signing. He added some bad comedy to the proceedings. Santino said everyone’s name incorrectly. Ha. Ha. He was also wearing a badge. Like a child’s badge from a policeman costume.

Jordynne Grace apologized to Masha for beating her at Bound for Glory. She said she was proud of Masha, though. Okay.

Kazarian interrupted the proceedings. I love his Elvis gimmick. He referred to Masha and Jordynne as “broads.” He explained being the special referee, but it did not make sense. He went to the TNA executives and asked to be the ref. And that is it. That is all he did.

Kazarian went on and on until all five babyfaces beat him up. Santino got the cobra sock out and hit Kazarian. Then they put Kazarian through a table.

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