IMPACT: Brian Myers’ debut earns a resounding ‘meh’

Bob Kapur

IMPACT: Brian Myers’ debut earns a resounding ‘meh’

Until now, IMPACT had been doing a great job with the former WWE stars that they’d recently signed. They were put into major storylines that felt organic and natural. They were bringing star power to the company while not taking away the marquee value from the existing talents. And each of their debuts felt meaningful, deserved, and special. And then tonight they did the opposite with the debut of Brian Myers (formerly known as Curt Hawkins).

The show started in the middle of a backstage brawl between Eric Young and Willie Mack. Apparently, Willie had attacked Young, as he didn’t want to wait for their match to punish Young for last week’s attack on Willie’s best friend Rich Swann.

After a while, they fought their way to the ring, leading to:

Match 1: Willie Mack vs. Eric Young

After the bell rang, Willie continued his assault on EY, battering him from pillar to post, including hitting a nice slingshot dive over the top to the floor. It was all Willie until Eric went for some desperate tactics, allowing him to take over. He pummeled Willie with elbows and smashes and a vicious clothesline that gave Mack spasms. The advantage changed hands back and forth a few times with both men getting several near falls. Willie looked to end things with a Stunner, but the evil Eric fought off the attempt with a vicious eye rake. Willie finally hit it, but instead of going for the pin, went underneath the ring and grabbed a chair in order to take Eric out the way Eric took out Rich. He set Eric’s leg in the chair and was going to Pillmanize it off the top rope. But Eric scrambled up and shoved Willie, crotching him on the top rope. Young pulled him down and put the weakened Mack down with a Piledriver for the pinfall victory. Good match that showed a bit of fire in Willie as opposed to his usual happy-go-lucky personality.

Winner: Eric Young

Josh Matthews and Madison Rayne speculated over who might take on Eddie Edwards’ open challenge for the World Championship later on, and then ran down some of the other matches coming up.

Backstage, the Good Brothers rampaged to find Ace Austin and Mad Man Fulton, even assaulting some of the production stooges who didn’t know of their whereabouts.

WRESTLE HOUSE SEGMENT

Taya rallied the housemates for Movie Night, and claimed that the majority of them had voted to watch Taya’s Greatest Hits. Kylie Rae questioned the validity of the ballot count, but Taya dismissed her concerns. When Taya noticed that Cousin Jake and Susie were both missing, Cody Deaner and Alisha Edwards covered for them, but then left to go get them. Taya demanded John E. Bravo massage her shoulders as she watched the video, and Rosemary glared at them with jealousy. Crazzy Steve went over to comfort her and suggested jealousy could be a “potent poison.” Deaner and Elisha readied Jake and Susie for their big date.

In related news, can we all agree that Johnny Swinger should get a Wrestle House spinoff? Call it Swinger’s Club or something like that. Scott D’Amore, Don Callis, please make this happen.

Backstage, Reno Scum attacked Rhino and stole his wad of cash that he’d won from Hernandez in their arm wrestling challenge.

Match 2: Kimber Lee vs. Jordynne Grace

Grace’s strength gave her the early advantage, but after avoiding a collision with a badly-positioned referee, she got turned around and was left vulnerable to a big kick to the head. Lee took over, and worked over Grace’s legs and back in order to diminish her power game. After a series of rollup attempts, Lee used some power of her own to hit a low German suplex that nearly got her the win. Lee went to end things with a Swanton, but Jordynne got her knees up, and Lee was flattened. Grace immediately locked on a rear naked choke for the submission win. This was fine for what it was. Neither one of them have personalities that really stand out at this point, which is particularly bad for Jordynne since she’s been champion once and is fighting for the title again in two weeks (the second week of the Emergence special). Perhaps with some more promos / vignettes they can do something to make them more interesting than just being capable in the ring?

Madison Rayne’s Locker Room Talk

Madison Rayne welcomed everyone to the return of her talk show, Locker Room Talk. They started off with a funny video for her newest “sponsor”, Heath, who is hoping to petition his way into the company by everyone using #Heath4IMPACT in their socials. This was tremendous.

She introduced her guests Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes. The two pawed each other and then started making out on the couch, disgusting Madison to the point that she left. They then decided to interview each other. But as they got started, Sami Callihan hacked his way onto the show and attacked RVD. He was going to piledrive RVD on the floor, but Katie sprayed him in the eyes with a noxious liquid, and they both put the boots to him, leaving him laying.

The Rascalz were chilling backstage when Moose came up to them. After ripping on Wentz for wearing an EC3 hoodie, he gave his personal invitation for a TNA World Heavyweight Championship opportunity to Suicide, figuring that since he’d beaten Suicide twice already, it would be an easy match. He didn’t realize that it was really Trey who was wearing Suicide’s mask. Cue the sound effect.

WRESTLE HOUSE SEGMENT

Rosemary pondered Crazzy Steve’s advice and started checking out the guys in the house to see who she could use to make Bravo jealous. She decided to go with Larry D and blew a love spell his way. Meanwhile, Alisha gave Susie a pep talk before her date. The two lovebirds, Jake and Susie, started their date with some awkward chit-chat. As Taya’s video aired, Larry D grew more and more smitten with Rosemary. His odd behaviour angered his partner Acey Romero, leading to…

Wrestle House Match: Acey Romero vs. Larry D

This was a slobberknocker of a fight, with Acey impressing early on, including hitting a two-ton dropkick on his partner. He tried for a senton splash, but Larry moved, and the fisticuffs began anew. Well, maybe only one fisticuff, as Larry D cold-cocked him with a single punch, and got the pin. This was mercifully short, though Acey’s dropkick was pretty impressive given his size.

Winner: Larry D

In a promo, Deonna Purrazzo noted that Jordynne Grace’s arm injury, which is what put her out of commission for a few months, should be back to 100%. So she challenged Jordynne to prove it by agreeing to make their title match at Emergence a 30-minute Knockouts Ironman match.

In another promo, The North and the Motor City Machine Guns took verbal digs at each other in advance of their title match at Emergence next week. This was a good short video package (and you had to laugh with the inclusion of clips showing the Impact teams beating AEW’s Santana & Ortiz and the Young Bucks).

Match 3: Kiera Hogan & Tasha Steelz vs. Nevaeh and Havok – No Disqualification match

During their entrance, Kiera and Tasha opted to not go down the entrance ramp, but rather sneak off to the side, so that they could attack their opponents from behind when they were introduced. Their advantage was short-lived, though, and the bigger duo soon had Steelz and Hogan in trouble. As Steelz and Nevaeh fought in the ring, Havok had problems on the outside when Hogan sidestepped a running charge and Havok smashed hard into the ring steps. This allowed for a 2-on-1 attack on Nevaeh for a while. Havok finally recovered and the pendulum swung the other way. Havok set up a table on the floor but before it could be used, the two teams came to blows in the middle of the ring to the point that all of them were exhausted. Havok was still strong enough to hit a double suplex on her opponents, but the scrappy Hogan and Steelz were able to double-up on her and send her off the apron through the table to the floor. They then turned their attention to Nevaeh, and the numbers game allowed them to put her down after a big spinning kick to the head by Hogan. This felt a bit chaotic and clumsy and didn’t really flow. Also, the fact that both teams seemed to be in heel mode made for a strange dynamic.

Winners: Tasha Steelz and Kiera Hogan

Backstage, the Good Brothers continued their search for Austin and Fulton, and this led them to the office of Scott D’Amore. Scott said he didn’t think those two were even in the building, but they weren’t convinced, and said they would head to the ring and wait.

Elsewhere, Moose was walking around when a video of EC3 started to play on a wall. EC3 said he had to destroy Moose because he wanted to destroy what Moose stood for. Moose was spooked like he’d just seen the Ultimate Warrior in a mirror.

Match 4: Suicide vs. Dez (w/ Wentz)

Can we all just take a moment to remember that Suicide started off as a character in a video game? Besides him and Zeus, have any other wrestlers started off in another medium before becoming an on-screen TV character?

The match barely had time to get started when the Good Brothers stormed the ring. They chucked out both competitors and called out Austin and Fulton. Austin and Fulton appeared on the video screen. They made fun of Gallows’ arrest from last week, and then said that the two teams would face each other on his time. And his time was next week on Emergence.

Match result: No contest

The Flashback Moment of the Week was the time Eddie Edwards beat Cody to retain the TNA World Championship. That’s three knocks on AEW in this episode.

Rohit Raju entered Chris Bey’s dressing room and suggested that he be added to Bey’s X-Division Title match against TJP, ostensibly so he could help Bey retain the title. Since Bey wanted to ensure that TJP didn’t win, he agreed, not considering Rohit a threat since he’d beaten him in the past.

A Brian Myers hype video aired. He called himself “the most professional wrestler” which is the most generic catchphrase.

WRESTLE HOUSE SEGMENT

Susie and Jake concluded their date with some more awkward conversation. Jake mentioned Susie’s dark past and she had a Su Yung flashback, and Jake ran away in fear.

When Susie suggested that Alisha’s bad advice led to the date not going so well, Alisha got offended, leading to…

Wrestle House Match: Susie vs. Alisha Edwards

The two girls went at it pretty hard, and after a short fight, Susie was able to roll up Alisha for the pin.

Winner: Susie

After the match, Taya tried to get everyone inside to resume her Taya watch party. Kylie didn’t want to go, and after some egging on by Susie, she challenged Taya to a match. Taya declined and said the match would take place next week instead.

Josh and Madison ran down some matches taking place over the next two weeks at Emergence.

In the ring, Eddie Edwards called out Eric Young, saying he’d put up the Impact World Championship for a chance to destroy Eric for what he did to Rich Swann and Willie Mack.

But Eric didn’t come out. Instead, it was… ugh… Brian Myers (formerly WWE’s Curt Hawkins). On his way to the ring, he said, “Eddie, you seem to be a little disappointed,” confusing Eddie with every wrestling fan in the world.

Match 5: Brian Myers vs. Eddie Edwards (c) – for the IMPACT World Heavyweight Championship

The two jockeyed for position early on, but Myers downed Eddie early with a big clothesline, and then took over with his classic offense of stomps, punches, and lack of charisma. After a commercial break, Myers was still in control, thwarting every attempt by Eddie to turn things around. Myers drove Edwards into the ring apron, and then continued to put the hurt on the champ in the ring with knees and heat-sink. Eddie finally was able to fight back, and he took a risky dive through the ropes that actually hurt himself more than Myers when his knee hit the ground hard. Back in the ring, Myers opted not to target the wounded knee because why use psychology and story-telling? Eddie eventually fired up and hit a kick to the head and a Backpack Stunner. But Myers reversed a Tiger Driver attempt and nailed Eddie with an Impaler DDT for a two-count. Myers tried for a charging move, but ate a Superkick and then Eddie did hit the Tiger Driver. Myers ducked one Boston Knee Party attempt, but couldn’t evade a second one, and after that the three-count was just a formality.

Of all the former WWE stars who joined (or returned to) the company since Slammiversary, this was the most inauspicious debut. Even waiting a week for Emergence would have helped make him feel special. It didn’t help that by saying he was a disappointment compared to Eric Young, he probably put that into peoples’ heads if they weren’t thinking it already. And having him lose so cleanly in his first match couldn’t have helped his cause. If he doesn’t do something earth-shaking next week, they may not be able to change the impression that he’s a WWE jobber turned Impact jobber. Heck, even Josh Matthews called out on commentary that Myers isn’t used to long matches – in other words, because he’s always getting squashed. This was a complete fail.

Winner and still IMPACT World Champion: Eddie Edwards

The show ended with Edwards celebrating his win.

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