Few surprises to a rather bland Bad Blood WWE PLE

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

Few surprises to a rather bland Bad Blood WWE PLE
Courtesy of WWE

There are not just bad vibes within World Wrestling Entertainment. There is a lot of Bad Blood.

Not only do Cody Rhodes and Roman Reigns forge an uneasy truce as they tag together to face The Bloodline, but CM Punk and Drew McIntyre will get a taste of that ultra violence as they take their feud to the next level in a Hell in a Cell match.

It’s not a bad way to bring back the Premier Live Event after six years.

We come to you from the State Farm Arena in Atlanta, GA, as the Devil’s Favorite Playground hangs above the ring. Michael Cole and Corey Graves have the call. Samantha Irwin intros Naomi and the WWE Women’s Tag Team champs Jade Cargill and Bianca Belair.

We also see Goldberg at ringside and Killer Mike in the audience, so this is the first of Atlanta royalty to see in the ring.

Now the cell lowers, so I guess your First Match of the Night is the…

Courtesy of WWE

Hell in a Cell match: CM Punk vs. Drew McIntyre

Huh. Not leaving it for later in the show?

I mean, that’s okay if this was an episode of AEW Collision, but…whatever.

Both men enter the structure and have a stare down, and then we are off to the races as McIntyre and Punk unload but the Scottish Psycho has the advantage. Punk gets tossed out and is thrown into the cage. The Cell is used as a weapon as Punk gets on offense and bounces McIntyre’s skull off it. He pulls out a table, but McIntyre gets ruthless as he proceeds to stomp his head on the steel steps. Now he pulls under the ring a toolbox of weaponry, but Punk stops him and he takes advantage by ripping off one of the legs of the table to use, and Punk drop toe holds McIntyre into the table edge and slams him to the back of the table.

They battle outside the ring and McIntyre connects with a flash Claymore, and then he throws Punk like a lawn dart to the side of the Cell, and Punk starts to show some color. He picks up the steps and rams it tnto the side of his head and then proceeds to stomp him. Once they get back in the ring, McIntyre stabs a wrench to open his head wound further, and he goes out of the ring to grab another table on the outside. Punk begins to get a second wind and pushes McIntyre into the corner, nails a high knee, and then goes up to land a double axe handle. He grabs a wrench and goes to the well once too often, and gets suplexes for his trouble. McIntyre gets ready for the kill and Punk rolls out at the last second. McIntyre follows and Now the Second City Saint clocks him with the toolbox. Now McIntyre is showing crimson, and Punk uses the toolbox to his advantage and goes on offense with knee lifts and a running bulldog, and he signals the GTS. He connects and McIntyre rolls out of the ring. Punk goes after him and McIntyre with a Claymore and covers for one, two…Oh, so close!

McIntyre goes for another Claymore and misses, and Punk gets the Sharpshooter and cinches it in. McIntyre fights through the pain, grabs a wrench, and slams it to his back to make him release the hold. The ref wipes blood out of their eyes (boo!) and then they proceed to slug it out. They are going for broke and McIntyre gets him in a vertical suplex to the table on the outside. McIntyre is incensed and gets the steel steps but has trouble picking it up. They go back in the ring and Punk lands a GTS for the one, two…nope.

“Somebody, win this damn match!” says Cole, as he channels the worst Jim Ross version of a Hell in the Cell match. Now McIntyre connects with the White Noise to the steel steps and Punk kicks out. Both men are spent, but Punk cinches he Anaconda Vice and cranks it in. McIntyre grabs another wrench but Punk intercepts it and bangs it on his head. He gets read to finish him off but as McIntyre begs off, he nails a low blow to his…, err, little Punks. He goes out of the ring and brings back a bag and spills out…plastic beads (Just like the ones used for his bracelet. Oh, the nerve! The audacity! The gumption!)

He goes for another Claymore but misses the mark and his lower back hits the steel steps.

(And somewhere in the Pacific Northwest someone is wincing at that image. Not gonna say who, but you know that it was someone in…Whose House?)

Anyway, Punk wraps a chain around his knee, and then he stuffs the bead in McIntyre’s mouth. He delivers the GTS onto his steel chain knee to end the feud.

Your Winner: CM Punk

Punks slams the door on the Cell and collapses in exhaustion making his way to the back.

I wanna say that’s the end of this feud, but I gotta feeling they have more in store.

Well, thanks for coming out to this PLE, and…

(There’s other matches, Tommy.)

What?

(Yeah, there still a few more matches to go)

Seriously?!

(Yeah, man. You really thought that was the end?)

Oh, gods damn it!

(Hey, you’re the sucker that committed to this.)

Fine! But expect Haikus unless the matches are serviceable.

(We expect nothing less.)

* Ugh!! * SIGH!!!*

We get to see more Atlanta royalty in the audience as WE mentions Jacqueline, Lillian Garcia, and Booker T.

Granted, Jacqueline and Booker are Houston natives, but…whatever, as the kids say.

So your next match is for the…

WWE Women’s Championship: Nia Jax (c) vs. Bayley

This is a big match since Bayley lost the title to Jax and she needs to…

*Mega-Sighhh!!!

(Authors Note: Yeah, look. I’m checked out of this match, and so are you. Not because of Bayley, but because of the division killer that is Nia Jax. So here is a PLE Haiku In Review™:)

*ahem*

Queen of the Ring is

Dominant against Bayley.

Too much Tiffy Time.

Your Winner, and Still WWE Women’s Champion: Nia Jax

I can say with authority that this happened.

After a buncha commercials, we see X-Pac, Tully Blanchard, and Arn Anderson in the house.

But now we get your next match between….

Damian Priest vs. Finn Balor

Balor enters solo, and the hatred between the former Judgment Day members is palpable.

Priest shows off his power against Balor and is dominant at the beginning, but it isn’t long before Balor comes back with Kawada-style kicks between the ropes. Now Priest rushes out and Balor lands a sling blade and proceeds to stomp him on the outside. Balor goes for a high-risk maneuver but gets caught by the Archer of Infamy. Priest is in control, and they jockey back and forth until he lands a Falcon Arrow for a two count. He tries to signal the end but a sling blade stops the momentum. Balor looks to take advantage until Priest connects with a slingshot clothesline fora count of two. Balor gets on offense until Priest reverses and connects with the Razor’s Edge for a near fall. Outside the ring, Balor gets checked to the commentary desk and then gets spiked to the apron.

Back in the squared circle, Priest drops down the straps but Carlito rushes out for interference as does JD McDonagh. Balor uses that distraction to nail the Coup de Grace for a two count. He directs traffic for his finisher, but Priest sends the lackeys out. Another Coup misses and Balor goes foal another high-risk maneuver until Priest catches him and delivers a choke slam that ends it South of Heaven.

Your Winner: Damien Priest

Not a bad match, if it was on WWE RAW. Not sure it was PLE-worthy, but I didn’t feel the need for a Haiku.

WWE CCO Triple H comes out and points out that it was, “30 years since I was living just up the road on Windy Hill. [In] 1994 I was Terra Ryzing in WCW.”

Heh. Cute.

In any case, he makes this announcement as it relates to the Crown Jewel PLE:

Now out comes WWE World Heavyweight champ Gunther, and he is excited to win that. He also blathers on about defending his belt against Sami Zayn, and blah, blah, blah.

Gunther addresses Goldberg in the crowd and says he’s really not his favorite wrestler. He makes it clear that he can’t understand why he would worship a “one trick pony.”

Of course, Sami Zayn attacks, and Security tries to break it up.

Again, this coulda been a segment on RAW. Why am I covering this?

(Because you volunteered)

So, I’m a sucker?

(Kinda looks that way, yeah.)

Diamond Dallas Page, Mickie James, and Scott Steiner are also in attendance, and we go to a shot of the Box Seats with Naomi, Bianca Belair, and Jade Cargill. They talk to Metro but…something smells funny.

Oh, wait. It’s just Chelsea.

Heh. Comedy.

Now the shark cage is lowered for your next match and it is for the…

Courtesy of WWE

WWE Women’s World Championship: Liv Morgan (c) (with “Dirty” Dominik Mysterio) vs. Rhea Ripley

The stipulation here is Mysterio will be suspended above the ring in a shark cage to prevent any interference. He hesitantly enters the cage as Morgan looks on with a sense of horror for her beau. Ripley has no such problems as she gets on the mic and tells the crew to raise him up since he’s afraid of heights.

After that business is concluded, Ripley is in full control. As the fans chant for “Mami,” Morgan manages to clip her leg and gets on offense. She cranks a single-leg carb variation and Ripley fights through the pain and lands a suplex for a two count. Morgan gets wily and takes advantage using the ring posts to stretch her out, and then lands a sunset flip powerbomb to the barricades that stun Ripley. Morgan also manages a flying codebreaker that gets a count of two. Ripley goes for the Riptide and Morgan reverses into a HoneWrecker for a near fall. Ripley then goes for a frog splash and then cicnhes the Texas cloverleaf, but Morgan escapes the submission.

Meanwhile, Mysterio picks the lock and the cage is open.

Dom tries to leave but gets caught by a chain. Ripley sees this and says to the ref cam she had unfinished business and grabs a kendo stick. She proceeds to beat him like a piñata to the delight of the Atlanta crowd until Raquel Rodriguez makes her presence known and blindsided Ripley. She throws her back in the ring and powerbombs Ripley.

There’s no official ruling but let’s call this and declare…

Your Winner via Disqualification: Liv Morgan

Two Things:

  • Welcome Back, Raquel.
  • Also, why was this match a thing?

Now for the Main Event, and it is a tag team match between…

Courtesy of WWE

Cody Rhodes and Roman Reigns vs. The Bloodline (Solo Sikoa and Jacob Fatu)

Cody gets the University of Arkansas Pine Bluff marching band to start with his “Kingdom” intro music. As to how well they did, I’m gonna let you be the judge:

Meanwhile, Reigns gets a Georgia Philharmonic Symphony leading him to the ring:

Funny how they give the Georgia rub to Reigns and Rhodes gets the Arkansas group.

In any case, Cole and Graves get into the whole “Scorpion and the Frog” fable and how this applies to the match, but honestly…I just wanna see where this leads.

Once the bell rings, there is a stare-down as Sikoa raises the ula fala over his head. Rhodes and Reigns gesture (broadly) who wants to start and the American Nightmare wants to lead the charge. We see Rhodes and Fatu go to loggerheads but the son of the son of the plumber man is ahead and Sikoa ain’t having it. Now Reigns comes in to a big “O-T-C!” chant and his fans give a nice “F*** you, Solo!” to the phony Head of the Table as he tags in they unload their frustrations. Reigns gets the better of the younger Sikoa as he demonstrates who the real Tribal Chief is.

He sends the pretender to the outside, and Fatu makes his presence known. Now he and Sikoa attack from behind and Reigns is in trouble as they cut the ring in half as he is a Tribal Chief in Peril. There is a missed spear in the corner by Fatu that allows Reigns to get the hot tag to Rhodes and he is a Nightmare en Fuego. The Georgia fans pop as he gives an ode to his pops with the bionic elbow and signals the CrossRhodes but Fatu reverses it into a Samoan drop. He gets tossed out of the ring and Sikoa gives him a uranage to the apron edge. He toys with Rhodes as he stares at Reigns, but despite it all Rhodes stays in the fight. He tries to make the tag to Reigns and Fatu pulls him away. He goes to the high-rent district and attempts a Swanton and misses the mark. Rhodes crawls to the corner and gets the hot tag. Now Reigns is a Tribal Chief en fuego (I realize Graves said he entered “God mode” but I like my way better).

More chants for the “O-T-C” and he loads up for the Superman punch and Sikoa anticipates the move and gets the crucifix pin for a near fall. He finally lands the punch for a two count and goes for another as Fatu grabs him by his hair. A superkick by both men, followed by a moonsault and a splash for a cover yet Rhodes breaks the count. He slams Sikoa to the steps and then clears the commentary desk for a big move but Fatu sidesteps. Now the chairs get involved until a CrossRhodes stops that nonsense and he goes up to the top turnbuckle and gets a splash to explode the desk.

In the ring, Sikoa and Reigns unload with “Yay/Boo” punches, but before the Tribal Chief can deliver the spear Tama Tonga and Tonga Loa appear to distract him. Things don’t look good for Reigns until another hooded man appears and super kicks Tonga and Loa. Once he takes off the hood and mask we see it’s Jimmy Uso.

Sikoa is awestruck by this turn of events and that allows Reigns to deliver the spear for the one, two, and three.

Your Winners via Pinfall: Cody Rhodes and Roman Reigns

Jimmy and Reigns share a moment in the ring and embrace. As for Rhodes, they look at each other in a showof respect. As for the WWE Undisputed title, this moment is far from over.

That’s when The Rock’s music hits and The People’s Chairman makes his presence known.

He gestures to the men in the ring by holding up one, two, three fingers as the show comes to a close.

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