John Cena has once again beaten the odds.
Although outnumbered in a Fatal Four Way match against Randy Orton, Kane and Roman Reigns, Cena capitalized on his opponents’ mistakes to retain the WWE World Heavyweight Title at Battleground. Reigns, the other fan favourite going into the pay-per-view from Tampa Bay, Florida, saw the coveted title agonizingly slip through his grasp.
Despite the discord we saw in their promo earlier on in the evening, Kane and Randy Orton worked as a team. Acting as Orton’s bodyguard of sorts, Kane defended him at every turn, shielding his attempted pin falls as best he could.
The Authority faves established their dominance at the opening bell double-teaming both Reigns and Cena. With Cena banished to the arena floor, Reigns was double-suplexed by Orton, Kane. As Orton went for the premature cover, Kane made sure Cena didn’t interfere.
Cena traded places with Reigns and became Kane and Orton’s target. Just as Reigns and Cena were about to face-off, Orton and Kane would break things up as they would most of the match.
Things went South for The Authority when Kane dared to attempt a pin on Reigns.
“You are supposed to watch MY back,” snarled Orton as he and Kane got into a bitter shoving match which ended with Kane socking Orton in the mouth.
Roman Reigns big moment in the match came when he gave Cena the Superman Punch and a Spear but his pin fall was broken up by Kane. Undeterred, Reigns followed up with a Superman Punch on Kane, knocking him down and out. Reigns put Cena down before heading outside the ring to Spear Orton through a barricade.
“This is awesome,” cheered the fans in attendance.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled report for an editorial moment.
The “awesome” chant has been cheered so often in recent years, it has really lost all meaning. For a four way, this match ain’t half bad but it sure ain’t Flair versus Steamboat, Hart versus Michaels, Pillman versus Lyger or Van Dam versus Lynn kind of “awesome”. Not even close. Let’s move that bar back up and reserve that chant for truly epic encounters, shall we?
We now return to your regularly scheduled report.
As we near our finish, Kane is the last man standing. He signals that this is indeed the end. It seems Kane was a little optimistic as he misses his Tombstone Piledriver on Reigns. Kane gets Speared but Orton makes the save and RKOs Roman. As the dust settles, Cena regains consciousness just in time to give the AA on Orton and on a prone Kane for the three count.
As Cena celebrates having defied the odds, Reigns looks on the from the arena floor knowing his time will come.
WWE Battleground 2014 Results
Fandango versus Adam Rose
- Layla and Summer Rae accompany Rose to the ring along with the usual parade of freaks. Shortly after the match begins, the ladies confront, slap Fandango outside of the ring for two-timing them. Apparently, this alone is enough to totally throw Fandango off his game. Match? What match?
- Winner: Adam Rose at 1 minute and 19 seconds.
- Match Rating: 2 / 10
Naomi versus Cameron
- A feisty, short bout. Cameron tries to take a powder but Naomi throws her into the ringside barrier and back into the ring. Add in your own pinball sound effects here. Cameron rolls up Naomi with a handful of her trunks for good measure. Nothing settled here between these two lively divas.
- Winner: Cameron at 3 minutes and 18 seconds.
- Match Rating: 3 / 10
The Usos (champions) versus Luke Harper, Erick Rowan (challengers) – World Tag Team Title – 2 out of 3 falls match
- Great line from JBL: “The Usos are interchangeable. You beat one, you beat them both.” Betting The Killers Bees are glad they are retired.
- Both teams have been working a hard-hitting program and this is portrayed as the final confrontation. Harper, Rowan have played their roles as unstoppable monsters perfectly and in their short time in the WWE, The Usos are well on their way to perhaps rivaling The British Bulldogs or The Hart Foundation as one of the greatest tag teams ever in the WWE.
- Surreal moment has Luke Harper calming an enraged Erick Rowan outside of the ring. It is sorta like watching Leatherface trying to reason with Jason. Jimmy Uso is hot-tagged into the ring but seconds later takes a huge boot to the mush from Harper for the first pin fall. Jimmy is mauled by the heinous hillbillies for minutes on end until Jey tags in and scores a quick roll-up for the second pin fall.
- The final pin fall is introed by incredible back and forth action such as Rowan kicking out of an Uso splash, the giant Harper diving out of the ring like a human lawn dart and a wicked double Superplex by Rowan on the Usos. The Usos double kick both hillbillies then finish off Harper with a stunning double splash off the top rope for the win. One of the best matches of 2014. No doubt.
- Winners: …and still WWE World Tag Team Champions…The Usos at 23 minutes and 9 seconds.
- Match Rating: 9.5 / 10.
- In a pre-match interview, Seth takes credit for dismantling The Shield and calls Ambrose a cockroach that needs to be squashed. He pulls out the Money in The Bank briefcase and teases cashing it in tonight. From out of nowhere, Ambrose jumps Rollins. Security breaks up the brawl. Triple H orders his goons to throw Ambrose out of the building. What about their match tonight? Your guess is as good as mine. Triple H, that ain’t good for business.
AJ Lee (champion) versus Paige (challenger) – WWE Divas Title Match
- The crowd chants for CM Punk. Sorry, WWE Universe, in case you haven’t heard, CM lost his smile. Weep. Weep.
- After some gratuitous skipping, we finally get to the match with Paige dishing out some serious pain. She dominates the bout to the point that she actually begs AJ over and over to mount some kind of offense. Paige fights her way out of the Black Widow and executes a Paige-Turner to score a two count. Out of nowhere, AJ lands a Shining Wizard for the win.
- Winner: …and still WWE Divas Champion at 7 minutes and 48 seconds…AJ Lee.
- Match Rating: 6 / 10.
- Randy Orton and Kane are hanging out together in the boiler room. Orton thinks they should let bygones be bygones and join forces against Cena and Reigns. Kane declares himself the early favourite to win and gets to stepping leaving poor Orton to forever be alone. Weep. Weep.
Jack Swagger, patriot.Jack Swagger versus Rusev
- Rusev needs to change his entrance music to the Mortal Kombat theme. Come on. How awesome would it be to see Lana say…Finish him!…at the end of each bout? Coolness.
- Lana calls President Obama “a wuss” as the crowd chants…USA!…USA! She promises Rusev will crush Jack Swagger. Rusev snorts and growls.
- Zeb is about rip into Lana but she slaps him a good one shutting him up. Rusev and Swagger brawl before the bell even rings.
- We interrupt your regularly scheduled match for a message from Triple H. Dean Ambrose will not be returning tonight. Where is Theodore Long when you need him?
- Swagger takes it to Rusev more than anyone else has thus far but the rascally Russian’s power and endurance soon tips the scales firmly in his favour. As Swagger is battered again and again trying to get back into the ring, Zeb cheers Swagger on. Swagger regains the momentum and scores some two counts but the flourish doesn’t last as Rusev escapes Patriot Locks in and outside the ring by launching Swagger into the ring post. Rusev is able to beat the count back in. The announcers call it a “lucky break” for Rusev as officials check on a comatose Swagger outside the ring. A limping Rusev adds insult to injury by throwing Swagger back into the ring for an Accolade.
- Winner: Rusev at 10 minutes and 40 seconds.
- Match Rating: 7 / 10.
- Stardust postulates about the “cosmic key” and the mysteries of the universe. Even the eccentric Goldust is confused. Ultimate Warrior would be proud.
Seth Rollins versus Dean Ambrose
- Rollins is met by…You sold out!…chants. Rollins is gracing us with his presence to accept Ambrose’s forfeiture. He demands to be announced as the winner and is. Ambrose once again blindsides Rollins battling him through the crowd and then slams him onto the Spanish announce table. Security and officials feebly break up the brawl but Ambrose runs across the announce tables and tackles Rollins. Triple H comes down to ringside with even more security to take matters into his own hands as the arena chants…Let them fight! Ambrose is led off by security. Triple H raises Rollins’ hand in victory.
- Winner: Seth Rollins at 0 minutes and 0 seconds.
- Match Rating: 0 / 10.
Chris Jericho versus Bray Wyatt
- Wyatt is sporting a shiner and stitches over his right eye. As he walks to the ring, Jericho pushes Wyatt’s rocking chair over. Someone must explain why Rowan and Harper are allowed to stay at ringside? In the old school days, they at least had to have “managerial licences”. Snicker. Snicker.
- At three minutes in, Rowan and Harper tease entering the ring and distract the official so Bray can get the edge on Jericho. Jericho splashes the entire Wyatt Family outside the ring. Harper grabs Jericho as he climbs back into the ring and the official gives Rowan, Harper the hook. Bray’s eye bulge out of his skull as he clotheslines Jericho from behind. Y2J flies off the apron and crashes into the ringside barrier.
- ”How much can you take, Chris,” bellows Wyatt as he catches Y2J with a splash in the corner. Wyatt DDTs Jericho on the ring apron for a two count. Jericho counters Sister Abigail and almost puts Wyatt into the Walls of Jericho. Seconds later, he plants Wyatt with a Code Breaker.
- JBL calls the win an “upset” for the veteran Jericho? Are you kidding me? Check yourself, JBL. Methinks your cowboy hat is on too tight.
- Winner: Chris Jericho at 15 minutes and 9 seconds.
- Match Rating: 7 / 10
- Seth Rollins is stalking around the arena parking lot for some unknown reason. Oh, yeah. It is so he can get attacked by Dean Ambrose, yet again. Ambrose leaps out of the trunk of a car. The two brawl over the hood of a car. Rollins escapes by driving off into the night.
The Miz is Intercontinental champion — let his ego grow!Intercontinental Championship Battle Royal
- Bad News Barrett, with his arm in a sling, lets everyone know the winner of the match like an old couple retiring in Florida. They are only putting off the inevitable: their demise.
- Kofi has the spot of the night landing on Big E’s shoulders outside of the ring in order not to be eliminated.
- Spoiler Alert: The Miz uses the You-cannot-eliminate-me-because-I-went-out-under-the-bottom-rope battle royal strategy throughout the entire match and hides out on the floor more than he is in the ring. He enters the ring just in time to throw finalist Ziggler out.
- Elimination Order
- Xavier Woods: 39 seconds.
- Zach Ryder: 44 seconds.
- The Great Khali: 1:05.
- Sin Cara: 1:05.
- R-Truth: 2:47.
- Curtis Axel: 2:54.
- Damien Sandow: 3:20.
- Diego: 3:30.
- Ryback: 6:44.
- Titus O’Neil: 8:06.
- Alberto Del Rio: 9:56.
- Big E: 10:35.
- Kofi Kingston: 11:50.
- Antonio Cesaro: 11:59.
- Heath Slater: 12:20.
- Bo Dallas: 12:52.
- Sheamus: 15:54.
- Dolph Ziggler: 16:00.
- Winner: …and new Intercontinental Champion at 16 minutes…The Miz.
- Match Rating: 8 / 10.
John Cena (champion) versus Roman Reigns (challenger) versus Randy Orton (challenger) versus Kane (challenger) – WWE World Heavyweight Title – Fatal Four Way Match
- Winner: …and still WWE World Heavyweight Champion…John Cena…at 18 minutes and 41 seconds….
- Match Rating: 7.5 / 10.
- Total Event Time: 2 hours and 56 minutes.
- Overall Event Rating: 8 / 10.
- The next WWE pay-per-view is SummerSlam on August 17th at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California.
