The Eater of Worlds is back but The Fiend isn’t.
Bray Wyatt stole the spotlight away from the rest of the WWE superstars by making his return at Extreme Rules.
At the end of the Fight Pit match which closed out the show, the lights went off and the fireflies returned.
“Are we still on the air?” asked Michael Cole.
The He’s Got the Whole World song began playing as around the arena different areas lit up with humans dressed as all the Firefly Funhouse characters. The last was a “Fiend” at ringside. Corey Graves and Michael Cole were stunned to find a decapitated head on their desk.
Cameras fixated on a glowing door with moss hanging off of it. Then, we switched to the Firefly Funhouse which was dark, covered in cob webs and all the characters appeared to be dead. On a television there, a masked figure wearing a mask similar to those The Grabber wore in Black Phone appears.
“Who killed the world? You did!” he says.
We cut back to the glowing door which bursts open, goes dark and we see a familiar lantern.
Wyatt steps through that doorway, peals off his mask and says..I am here!
The show fades to black revealing Wyatt’s new symbol.
Clearly, Wyatt’s Firefly Funhouse days are over and Windham Rotunda is returning to the Max Cady-ish, Cape Fear character that began his journey on the main roster and started his career in NXT.
The return of Wyatt capped off an event that was second-rate until the final three matches made their presence felt changing the complexion of the show which was highlighted by a litany of awful commentary. Michael needs new one-liners because he keeps repeating the same ones like…”He has ‘X’ where he wants them!” while Corey Graves blithers and blathers some absurd insights or statement. Tonight’s lowest was:
“Doctor Frankenstein did not intend on creating a monster,” he said.
Corey, the whole freaking point of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein was Victor Frankenstein’s obsession with creating life through The Creature. Ugh.
What was worse than all that was the terrible Extreme Rules match for the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship pitting pitiful champion Liv Morgan against challenger Ronda Rousey. If nothing else the match proved without a doubt that Liv Morgan, no matter how nice and cute she is, she is a mid-carder at best. Full of feeble chair, baseball bat shots, punches and some botches it stood in stark contrast to the fantastic ladder match between Bayley and Belair later on.
As mentioned above, Riddle and Rollins closed out the show with their Fight Pit grudge match.
No idea why Matt Riddle was smiling on his way down to the ring. He is entering the Fight Pit. Makes no sense.
Seth Rollins comes out dancing like an idiot as he always does. Makes no sense either.
“Matt Riddle never talked about Rollins’ family in a derogatory way,”
Riddle throws strikes at Rollins. Rollins tries to take Riddle down. Riddle bounces out of the way.
The crowd starts chanting: “We want Wyatt!”
Riddle bounces off the cage and kicks Rollins in the head. Riddle rains down blows on Rollins. He accidentally hits Cormier. Cormier warns Riddle. Rollins attacks Riddle from behind as the crowd chants his songs. Rollins rams Riddle’s face into the cage. Cormier checks on Riddle to see if he wants to continue. Rollins smashes Riddle into the cage again, raking his face over the steel but…no blood. Rollins hits Riddle with an elbow to the back of the head. Riddle beats the count getting back to his feet.
“You are a loser, Riddle!” says Rollins as he kicks Riddle in the ribs.
Rollins suplexes Riddle into the cage. Rollins climbs up to the top of the pit and frog splashes Riddle.
“I am the King of the Fight Pit!” shouts Rollins. Riddle answers with an RKO.
Rollins pops up and gets back into the fight with a stomp on Riddle. Cormier is slow with the count on Riddle. The announcers recognize that. Riddle is back up at a nine count. Rollins climbs up to the upper platform. He taunts Riddle from above. Riddle climbs up up. Rollins bashes Riddle into the side of the cage and a steel support chain. Rollins buckle bombs Riddle into a corner of the cage as Daniel Cormier demands they come down.
“Climb up there, DC!” yells a fan.
Rollins hits a Pedigree on the platform. He demands DC make the count. DC tells Rollins he has to win the match in the Pit not on the platform. Riddle RKOs Rollins on the platform. Rollins falls, grabs a crossbeam to mitigate, soften his fall back into the Pit.
Riddle lands a Broton on Rollins from the top of the Pit.
“If Rollins doesn’t have broken ribs right now, I don’t know what he is made of,” says Michael Cole.
Both Rollins and Riddle barely get back to their feet. Riddle locks in a triangle choke. Rollins bashes Riddle on the sides of the cage. Rollins quickly taps out.
WWE Extreme Rules 2022 Results
The Brawling Brutes vs. Imperium – Good Old Fashioned Donnybrook match
Michael Cole and Corey Graves reveal that going forward they will be the ones calling all the “premium live events”.
The area outside the ring is decorated like a bar or pub if the pub you go to has barrels all around it, some stools and a wooden dresser, table. Both teams start brawling as soon as the bell rings. Why is Butch so freaking orange? Stop with that spray tan crap, pal.
Sheamus and Holland hold Kaiser in a corner upside down a Butch runs in with a vicious kick to the face. Imperium works the Brutes by teaming up three on one often. They rule this match.
Giovanni Vinci puts Butch through a barricade or more like the barricade collapses behind Butch as he barely touches it. Sheamus is slammed on top of the “bar” and is gone for a large portion of the match.
Imperium is dominating so much they have time to pose in the ring. Sheamus shoves over the bar/dresser and starts throwing members of Imperium into the steel barricade. Gunther stands in the middle of the ring taunting him. They trade blows, clotheslines until Sheamus slams Gunther to the mat. Sheamus gives him 10 Beats of the Bodhrán as the rest of the Brawling Brutes join in with kicks on the apron.
Sheamus has Gunther covered after a Brogue Kick but Vinci makes the save. Sheamus has Gunther in the Clover Leaf until Kaiser shatters a shillelagh across his back. Butch leaps off a stack of barrels bowling over Kaiser and Vinci. Gunther bashes Sheamus with a huge shillelagh. Sheamus stuns everyone by kicking out. Butch and Holland hold Gunther as Sheamus bashes him with the shillelagh. Butch and Holland lay out Imperium with the shillelagh as Sheamus slams Gunther through the announce table with a Celtic Cross. Butch and Holland hold Vinci for Sheamus. Sheamus takes him out with with a Brogue Kick for the three count.
Winners: The Brawling Brutes at 17 minutes and 50 seconds.
Rating: 7.5 / 10
The Miz is interviewed backstage. He warns “He Who Should Not Be Named” not to ruin his birthday day celebration tomorrow and wants to speak to Triple H personally about it. Miz runs into Gritty, the Philadelphia Flyers’ mascot. Gritty gives him an honorary jersey. The Miz throws it on the ground and stomps on it. “That is what I think about you, your team and your city!” he says.
Liv Morgan (c) vs. Ronda Rousey – Extreme Rules match for the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship
A sad excuse for an extreme match. Rousey wears her Gi as a tribute to Gene LeBell. The crowd has a mixed reaction to her and Liv Morgan as well.
Morgan carries a baseball bat to the ring. Rousey stops Morgan from retrieving the bat from her corner as the match begins. When she does get her hands on it Rousey disarms her easily and throws it out of the ring. Morgan gets caught between the ring apron and the ring. Rousey beats the snot out of her and slaps her hard across the face.
Morgan sprays a fire extinguisher in Ronda’s face. Morgan leaps off the steel steps and takes a bat to the ribs. Ronda taps Morgan with the bat over and over. Graves says: “She is toying with her.” Morgan also taps Rousey with the bat with some ridiculous blows. Rousey ties Morgan to the ring post with her black belt then slaps her with the bat.
Morgan props up a table in a corner. Rousey smashes Morgan’s head into it repeatedly. Morgan put a chair in a corner. The chair falls to the floor. Morgan botches a backbreaker and then delivers some lame chair shots to Rousey ending that barrage with a Code Red with a steel chair that also barely touches Rousey. Morgan drapes Rousey over a table and put her through it with a senton. Rousey immediately puts her into an arm bar pretty much no-selling the senton. With Morgan smiling the entire time, Rousey locks an awkward submission. Morgan just fades away.
Winner: …and new Smackdown Women’s Champion…Ronda Rousey at 12 minutes and 24 seconds.
Rating: 3 / 10
Drew McIntyre vs. Karrion Kross – Strap Match
A unexpectedly mediocre, bland match. Also, that new hair style is not doing Kross any favours. He doesn’t look intimidating with it at all. Kross attacks Drew before the bell rings and he can be attached to the strap. They battle into the crowd. Drew gives Kross a backbreaker on the ring apron and attaches the strap to Kross himself. The official finally rings the bell. Drew punishes Kross by whipping his back.
“Fall and pray for me!” he shouts.
Kross pulls Drew into a ring post and punishes Drew’s shoulder some more inside the ring. Kross takes the strap in both his hands and whips Drew across the chest. Kross drives Drew’s shoulder into the announce table.
Kross: “This is about the future!”
Kross wraps the strap around Drew and a steel post. Kross whips and whips him as Scarlett chants…More! More! More!
“When have you seen McIntrye in this state?” says Graves.
McIntrye finally gains some momentum with a clothesline and a neckbreaker with the strap. Kross and McIntrye stand toe-to-toe just wailing on each other with the strap. McIntrye brings Kross to the mat with a Future Shock DDT. McIntrye is ready to deliver Claymore Country to Kross. Scarlett leaps into the ring spraying pepper spray into Drew’s face blinding him. Kross wins with the Kross Hammer from behind.
Winner: Karrion Kross at 10 minutes and 20 seconds.
Rating: 5 / 10
The Miz runs into Gritty again and yells at him…again.
Bianca Belair (c) vs. Bayley – Ladder match for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship
Finally, we get to the really good stuff. Nikkita Lyons from NXT is shown in the audience. Io Sky and Dakota Kai are not at ringside. Bayley and Bianca immediately go for ladders on the floor bringing them into the ring. The women have a tug of war over a ladder. Bianca knocks Bayley out of the ring. Belair keeps trying to climb up the ladder as quickly as she can. That’s her strategy it seems. She rams Bayley into the ladder, slams her on it and splashes her on it. Belair is driven into the ladder by a Sunset Flip. As Bayley sets up a ladder at ringside she rips a sign out of a fan’s hand. Bayley puts a ladder between the ring stairs and the barrier. She drops a flying elbow on Belair. Bayley knocks over the ladder and Belair falls to the floor. A KOD stuns Bayley. Belair climbs the ladder.
Damage Control hits the ring pushing the ladder over. Belair lands on the top rope hard. Belair hits an awkward double KOD on Kai and Sky. Bayley slams Belair into a ladder and gives her a Rose Plant. She puts Bianca under the ladder as she begins to climb it. Belair lifts up the ladder and Bayley. Bayley falls into the ropes. Belair uses her braid to whip Bayley off the ladder. Bayley has a ladder in hand. Belair lifts up both Bayley and the ladder. She slams Bayley down onto the ladder with another KOD, climbs up and retrieves the championship belt.
Winner: …and still Raw Women’s Champion…Bianca Belair at 16 minutes and 41 seconds.
Rating: 8 / 10
Edge vs. Finn Bálor – “I Quit” match
A fan at ringside has a sign which reads: Edge is more played out than a Harley Quinn Cosplay. Ouch.
Finn Balor is wearing some weird mask with spikes all over it. Edge runs Balor into a corner and pummels him. Balor is bleeding from the mouth early on. Balor focuses on Edge’s knee, the knee Judgment Day damaged. Balor applies the Figure Four Leglock. Edge won’t quit.
“Get that microphone out of my face!” he yells.
Balor traps Edge between the ring and the apron. He stomps and kicks Edge. Edge still won’t give up. Balor smashes Edge’s head off the announce table over and over. Edge won’t quit. Edge spears Balor through a barricade into the timekeeper’s area.
They fight into the crowd. Edge suplexes Balor on the concrete floor. Balor is asked if he gives up by the official. He replies: “Never!”
Edge retrieves a hockey stick and begins beating Balor with it and used it for a Glasgow Grin submission. Now, that is a real Canadian!
They fight up the stairs and into an entrance way. Edge hoists Balor into a concrete overhang. Balor beats Edge in the ring with a steel chair. “Screw you Finn!” says Edge. Balor smashes the chair repeatedly over Edge’s back.
“Edge is defenseless. He hasn’t been able to defend himself,” babbles Michael Cole.
Edge gets a reprieve by whipping Balor into a steel chair in a corner. Edge wails on Balor with the chair.
As Balor is about the submit to the Educator, Damian Priest and Dominik Mysterio attack. Edge spears Balor off the apron into Priest and Mysterio. Rhea Ripley handcuffs Edge to the top rope. The rest of Judgement Day swarm Edge. Balor whips Edge with a kendo stick. As the official asks Edge if he will quit, Rey Mysterio hits the ring. Dominik lays out his own father though. The crowd boos.
“Someone should smack that kid across his face!” cries Cole.
Dom stomps Mysterio into the arena floor. Meanwhile in the ring, Balor continues beating on Edge with the stick. Beth Phoenix intervenes, takes the kendo stick and fights off the Judgment Day. Ripley faces her. They starts pounding each other. Phoenix spears Ripley. Phoenix gets the key and unlocks the cuffs.
Edge shakes Dominik’s hand but kicks him in the “lower abdomen”. Edge spears Balor over an over. Phoenix brings Edge a steel chair. Edge rips the bottom bar off it. Just as Edge is about to submit Balor, Ripley hits Phoenix with brass knuckles. Judgment Day holds Edge down as Balor delivers Coup de Grace after Coup de Grace.
Balor gives Edge one more chance to quit.
“Go to hell!” gurgles Edge.
The rest of Judgment Day hold onto Edge as Ripley prepares to give Phoenix a Conchairto. Edge quits to save his wife. Ripley gives her the Conchairto anyway. Edge cries over Phoenix as officials try to assist her.
Winner: Finn Balor at 29 minutes and 57 seconds.
Rating: 8 / 10
The Miz is about to enter HHH’s office. He is pestered by Gritty again. Miz beats him up. Dexter Lumis attacks from behind and puts him to sleep for the millionth time. Man, isn’t this crap so played out by now? Lumis helps Gritty up. Gritty kicks Miz in the ribs and walks away with Lumis.
Matt Riddle vs. Seth Rollins – Fight Pit Match
Winner: Matt Riddle at 16 minutes and 38 seconds.
Rating: 7.5 / 10
