It’s Friday night, and you know what that means? No, not to binge-watch Friends, or see Who’s Next, and get your sensibilities smacked down.
*ahem*
It’s time go on a Rampage with All Elite Wrestling, and there are lots of scores to settles, and championships to win.
We are coming to you from Chicago, Illinois. Your commentators Excalibur, Taz and Chris Jericho have the call, and we head straight to your First Match of the night…
Adam Cole vs. Evil Uno
Uno is already in the ring, and Cole gets the big boot to start off, and doesn’t let his foot off the gas.
Folks, if you’re not familiar with how I do recaps, then understand I do not enjoy recapping squash matches, and there is a hint of squash emanating in the ring. So, enjoy this Whipped Squash recipe, in honor of Adam Cole whipping the sweet Evil out of Uno. The match mercifully ends as Cole lowers The Boom and gets the win.
Your Winner via Pinfall: Adam Cole (Bay Bay)
On the mic, Cole calls out Kazarian, Jungle Boy, Anthony Green, John Silver, Khan, Jake Atlas, and Orange Cassidy, et al. What’s the common theme, he asks? They’re all involved in his undefeated streak. The lights out match last week doesn’t count, and it’s part of a new Adam Cole, and he demands respect. Cole lays out that he’s one of the best, and Adam Cole always runs the show. Only one thing is certain: he will be the AEW champion.
Well, that was declarative, and I want this match fast tracked sooner than later.
The TBS champ Jade Cargill, alongside Mark Sterling, Esquire, cuts a promo. She states she is 26-0. She states that, yeah, she green…like the color of money. She opens up to ask who wants to be on That B**** Show.
I’ll gives props to AEW: They are wanting a full investment in Cargill, but I think a key match for the title will really solidify her place. Not sure who would fit the bill, yet.
Speaking of title matches, it’s time for the…
AEW TNT Championship: “The Spanish God” Sammy Guevara (c) vs. Isiah Kassidy (with Marq Quen and Matt Hardy)
Jericho states on commentary that he has no beef with Guevara, but Santana and Ortiz need a come to Jesus meeting with The Inner Circle, and that’ll happen next week. Kassidy is in the ring already, as Guevara has ribs taped up from the ladder match with Cody Rhodes the other night.
Match starts with some nice back and forth moves that, interestingly, has Kassidy able to out wrestle Guevara. The Spanish God feels the disrespect and slaps Kassidy smack in the mouth, and puts the offense to Private Party member, finishing with a twisting space drop from the ring to the floor, and a nice pose off for the fans at home. Back in the ring, Guevara chops and goes up top, but Quen and Hardy distract. Guevara deals with Quen, but Hardy gets a Side Effect on apron edge to Sammy, and those taped ribs are feeling it.
During Picture in Picture, Kassidy is in control, but Guevara reverses an Irish whip to send Kassidy to the guardrails. Back in the ring, Kassidy gets a somersault senton to Guevara’s injured back to cover for a two count. Guevara delivers a clotheslines to Kassidy, and a knee strike, and he tries the GTH, but can’t lift up due to his sore back. Kassidy targets the taped back, and rushes to the corner, but Guevara manages to nail a Superkick.
Guevara goes up, and music hits for Andrade El Ídolo, as he and his Lawyer lackey saunter to ringside. Kassidy rolls away from Guevara’s high offense, and nails a back breaker and transitions to a lungblower to cover The Spanish God for a close two count. Guevara gets his second wind, and hits a moonsault to Marquez, and goes up top for a springboard elevated cutter for a two count. Guevara guts through, and this time the GTH finds the mark and puts away Kassidy to retain.
Your Winner via Pinfall, and Still AEW TNT Champion
Ídolo enters the ring along with Quen and Hardy. Jericho stands up from commentary as he gets ready to help his Inner Circle member, but as the odds get stacked Darby Allin rushes to the ring and sides with Guevara. As El Ídolo and company slink away, Allin eyes the TNT belt, and pats Guevara on his win, even though it wasn’t that long ago Allin held that same title.
That’s another match I’d love to see.
We get a Promo of QT Marshall, and he is not impressed with Hook.
In other news, water is wet.
Tony Schiavone is backstage interviewing Kris Statlander. The Galaxy’s Greatest Alien gives her feelings on “Legit” Leyla Hirsch, and thinks she should be more professional. All of a sudden, Hirsch comes in and hits Statlander with a steel chair…professionally.
Now for something we all like to see, it’s time for…
Thunder Rosa vs. Mercedes Martinez
No need for subtlety here, as Rosa goes straight at Martinez. She is in full offense, but Martinez manages to get a spinebuster to cover for two.
During Picture in Picture, Martinez picks apart Rosa with clubbing blows and a dragon sleeper hold. Rosa reverses to a reverse DDT to cover for two. Rosa tries a set up for a suplex, but Martinez reverses to a beautiful delayed vertical suplex and slams down. She follows with a rope assisted DDT to Rosa, and Martinez covers for two. Rosa counters with a missile basement dropkick to a Northern Lights suplex for a two count. That leads into…
Ads (Sigh! Explain to me what is the bloody point of Picture in Picture if you do *that?!*)
We come back, and Martinez is in the driver’s seat, and she gets an avalanche DVD to Rosa that looked uneven, but Rosa is knocked silly. Martinez follows with a Razor’s Edge setup, but Rosa reverses to a rollout for a two count, and she channels the spirit of Mitsuharu Misawa with an Emerald Flowsion. Outside the ring, they brawl and Martinez gets a lead pipe and clocks Rosa, but the ref sees this and calls the match.
Your Winner via Disqualification: Thunder Rosa
Martinez gives the bad mouth to Rosa, as doctors are attending the Mexican native.
We get a vignette on The Professor of Pro Wrestling, Serena Deeb. The gist is she knows all the holds to hurt anyone in the ring. Short and to the point, and truly Deeb is coming into her own.
Back to Tony Schiavone with Mercedes Martinez, and asks about the lead pipe. Just as Martinez is about to answer, Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D alongside lackeys Rebel and Jamie Hayter make themselves known. Baker says that wasn’t what they agreed. She wanted Rosa out of the picture, but not DQ’ed for the win. Martinez argues that she did the job, but Baker says to toe the line, or her time in AEW will be less than her “previous job.” Ouch, that stings! Martinez is ready to throw down, but Hayter gets in the middle are stares back. Another match I want to have sooner than later. Don’t tease me for too long Tony Khan.
Mark Henry interviews with Jay Lethal and Ricky Starks. He asks Lethal if he’s worries about “Powerhouse” Hobbs being a factor. Lethal says it’s something he is concerned with, but he will leave with the championship. Starks gives props to Lethal, but he is going out there to prove that there is a reason he is the Absolute.
Henry says enough time for talk; It’s time for the Main Event…!
FTW Championship: “Absolute” Ricky Starks (c) (with “Powerhouse” Hobbs) vs. Jay Lethal
Excalibur notes that Lethal is undefeated in AEW at 4-0. As both men enter the ring, the fans are split between chanting, “Let’s go, Lee-thal/Ric-key Starks.” As soon as the bell rings, it’s a feeling out process, and Lethal is able to outwrestle “Absolute” Rickey Starks absolutely. Starks loses cool and slaps the taste out of Lethal’s mouth, and Lethal returns the receipt. Lethal attempts a suplex, but Starks blocks and hits an elbow on back of Lethal’s head. At one point, Lethal sends Starks to the ropes, and Starks trips and goes to the outside of the ring. Lethal follows with not one, but two tope suicidas. Hobbs stands up, and as Lethal gives the big man a wide berth, Lethal sends Starks to the ring post, but he manages to slip through, and clotheslines Lethal.
During Picture in Picture, Starks beats on Lethal and gets a selfie with the fans. He sends Lethal back in the ring, and gets a cocky pin with one boot, and gets a one count. Both men go Back and forth with chops, and Starks gets Lethal in corner and stomps away. Lethal slugs out of the corner, and Starks counters to a release belly to belly suplex to a front face lock. Lethal fights to vertical base, and Starks goes for a tornado DDT. Lethal escapes the hold, and hits a clothesline and both men are down. The ref starts the ten count, and both men get up at eight. Lethal gets back on offense and tries with pinning combos to the FTW champ, but can’t quite put him away. He gets his signature Lethal Combination and covers for a two count. In the corner, Lethal gets Starks up for what looks like an Alabama slam, but Starks grabs ropes, and Lethal can’t get the full effect of the move. Starks reverses to a powerbomb to cover, but also gets a two count. Both men are slugging away and chopping, but Lethal gets a pump kick to an enzugiri. He takes too much time, and Lethal tries for Lethal Injection, but Starks reverses in midair to the RoShamBo finisher and gets the pin and wins in one, two, and three.
Your Winner via Pinfall, and Still FTW Champion: Ricky Starks
Starks and Hobbs are worn, but Starks celebrates the win holding the belt high, as the show fades to black.
