AEW Dynamite: Returns and unruly ring action after Revolution

AEW Dynamite deals with the fallout from the Revolution PPV

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

AEW Dynamite: Returns and unruly ring action after Revolution

It’s Wednesday Night on AEW Dynamite, and you know what that means?

No, not to think about taking over Cuba. Or Iran. Or Venezuela. Or really any country, for that matter.

We are coming off a (literal) loaded AEW Revolution PPV as MJF beat “Hangman” Adam Page, and we’ll see the fallout from that. Plus, Will Ospreay returns to action after having his neck repaired, and Darby Allin will confront Gabe Kidd in a Coffin Match, with “Timeless” Toni Storm and Marina Shafir ready to slug it out in a No Holds Barred match, and the main event has The Young Bucks teaming with “Jungle” Jack Perry in trios action over the Don Callis Family members Trent Beretta, Rocky Romero, and Kazuchika Okada.

Also, allow me an…

(Author’s Note: Has anyone in AEW heard of the word “restraint?” To paraphrase my favorite show, Landman, “Man, this promotion has no guardrails.”)

We get a recap of the highlights of AEW Revolution (which, my gods, was overloaded. I say this to TK and the Booker Monkeys™…Pacing!)

Anyhoo, from the Save Mart Center at Fresno State in Fresno, CA. Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, and Bryan Danielson have the call, and your First Match of the Night is….

Will Ospreay vs. Blake Christian

It’s great to see the Billy GOAT back in the ring, and kudos to one half of The Swirl getting some ringtime. However, let’s not pretend this is anything more than a glorified squash. Christian does gets some offense in, but this is all the Aerial Assassin, and he shows little ring rust.

The Hidden Blade finds the mark, and he’s back.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Will Ospreay

Ospreay gets on the mic and has words for Jon Moxley and says he could snap his neck with his “bare f***ing hands.”

That brings out the leader of the Death Dirder, and they fight into the crowd. He gets him in the ring for the Tiger Driver, and PAC makes the save, putting him in the Brutalizer until staff and security can restore order. He chased PAC up the ramp to fight him some more.

That leads to the next match between…

The Bang Bang Gang (Juice Robinson and Ace Austin, with Austen Gunn) vs. The Death Riders (Jon Moxley and Wheeler Yuta)

This is less of a wrestling match and more of a mugging. Also, Yuta looks less like a mutated Cousin Itt.

At one point, Austen is Bang in Peril during Picture in Picture with no help in sight. Mox twists him up like a pretzel with an STF into a crossface, until he makes the ropes. A roundhouse kick to Mox creates space until Yuta stops that in its tracks. He pushes him off and gets the hot tag to Robinson, and The Juice is Loose on the Death Riders, and he is Rock Hard with those jabs. Tag back to Austen for a corkscrew senton and his back catches Yuta’s knees. All four men swing for the fences, but it’s Moxley with the Death Rider on Austen that stops this cold.

Your Winners via Pinfall: The Death Riders

We get a video promo on the blood feud between Allin and Kidd leading up to the Coffin Match. That leads to Kidd backstage waiting to meet Allin in the parking lot and he promises to make him push up daisies.

Kenny Omega with a promo from Last Sunday after Revolution, and he is ready to get dangerous on Swerve Strickland, and suggests he put up his number one contendship. Until he hears from him, Goodbye and Good Night. Bang!

We see the coffin at ringside, then cameras follow Kidd out back as a car speeds down his way. The first part is cinematic, with Allin knocking out Kidd with some rag-soaked liquid, stuffing him into a trunk, and then driving off a curb to tip it over and wreck it. Allin drags out Kidd, and Excalibur and company wonder if there is gonna be a match.

Ah, but you know TK and the Booker Monkeys™ need to satisfy the “sickos,” so Allin brings him out, and I guess this is the start of the…

Coffin Match: Gabe Kidd vs. Darby Allin

Yeah, forget anything scientific. This is the type of hardcore match where even Onita and Funk would go, “You got some screws loose, boys.”

Allin ties up Kidd in a straightjacket and proceeds to bash his noggin witrh a skateboard, but he kicks him in his…err, little Allins.

He tosses Allin to the steps, and he is quickly displaying a crimson mask as they battle through Picture and Picture, each trying to push the other into the wooden crate. The end comes when Allin wraps a belt around Kidd’s legs on the apron edge, then dives from the ring to the outside to knock him in the coffin, and the force slams the lid shut.

Your Winner: Darby Allin

Every Dog has his day, and it sure ain’t this Kidd, ’cause we know who’s pushing up daisies now.

Allin gets on the mic after the match and makes it clear to MJF he’s coming for the AEW World Heavyweight title.

Luchasaurus is behind the wheel to pick up the new AEW National champion “Jungle” Jack Perry, and they drive up to Fresno to meet up with The Young Bucks. They’ll be ready to fight Rocky Romero, Trent Barretta, and Okada in the main event…bitch.

Prince Nana is out and wants us to cheer on for The Most Dangerous Man in AEW. Swerve Strickland makes his entrance, and he sits in a chair in the center of the squared circle, where he reflects on power. He was happy to have beaten Brody King in his hometown at Revolution, but he still lacks power. He wants Kenny Omega’s power, specifically his EVP status, to make it damn certain this is Swerve’s House.

Intense and intriguing. I’m curious how that would go.

Renee Paquette is backstage with “Speedball” Mike Bailey, and he’s ready to build on his Trios win from Revolution. That begins tonight, as the next match is…

Mark Davis vs. “Speedball” Mike Bailey

Davis wants retribution, and…really, folks, this should have been a Collision match. I hate to do this, but in the interest of time and my dwindling attention span, allow me a Haiku in Review™:

*ahem*

Speedball bumps hard at

the hands of Dunkzilla. But

450 Knees win.

Your Winner via Pinfall: “Speedball” Mike Bailey

We learn from Excalibur next week on Dynamite, Tony Khan greenlit the rematch between Strickland and Omega. So it will be a Number one Contender vs. EVP stipulation.

Last Sunday, after the Revolution, a bloodied and battered MJF still proclaims he is the best AEW wrestler of all time. The adrenaline has worn off, and he’s now feeling everything, but it was worth it to still keep the Triple B. Happy Birthday to him, and he’s going to Disney World.

(Author’s Note: Suddenly, my birthdays of past lore, where I drank until I puked, seem pale compared to the Big Hebrew. Oy vey!)

Baretta, Okada, and Romero promise a win later tonight against the Bucks and Perry, and The Rainmaker scoffs at his former “family.” It got awkward when he mentioned Takeshita, but they’re gonna battle for The Don Callis Family tonight.

Paquette was alerted to a development backstage, and Luther is crumpled in a heap at The Timeless One’s dressing room. We see that Storm was attacked, so she won’t make it. Shafir cuts a promo saying she didn’t do it (but also not NOT saying she didn’t do it) and promises anyone they’ll experience the same Problem.

Well, faster than you can say, “The Card is subject to change,” it’s now a…

No Holds Barred Match: Mina Shirikawa vs. Marina Shafir

She carries a barbed wire bat to the ring and she wants her pound of Flesh from The Problem.

As she steps into the ring, Shafir takes the weapon out of play quickly. Shirikawa lights up her back with kicks, then gets a bucket of chilled champagne, but she quickly spikes the other half of the Timeless Love Bombs. She beats her down mercilessly during Picture in Picture, and Shafir even takes a swig in the middle of the match.

They go back and forth, and then Shirikawa goes crashing down to the floor into a table edge in a very scary spot.

Back in the ring, Shafir continues the beatdown until Shirikawa cracks her skull with another bottle of the bubbly, and a Storm Zero ends it.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Mina Shirikawa

Shirikawa avenges Storm’s honor, but this is a Problem in my opinion for Shafir’s momentum.

Paquette is now with Andrade backstage until some stooge working for Don Callis gives him a suitcase of money and says via FaceTime they’re working with MJF to take care of a Darby Allin problem.

Now for your Main Event, and it is six-man action between…

“Jungle” Jack Perry and The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) vs The Don Callis Family (“Rainmaker” Kazuchika Okada, Trent Barretta, and Rocky Romero)

Okada and Perry start, and he flips off the Bucks and then turns to the new National Champion, who gives him a stomping. Baretta and Romero double team, but the Bucks send them out, and the numbers are not in Okada’s favor. The first half is high-flying, popping the Fresno fans, and things look good for Perry and the Bucks.

Perry puts the boots to Romero until Okada attacks from behind, and The Don Callis Family cuts the ring in half, as he becomes a Jungle Boy in Peril. He fires back at the Rainmaker and gets a desperation Clothesline, Crawling to the corner, there’s a hot tag to Nick, and he is a Young Buck en Fuego, and everything is coming up Young Bucks.

Baretta and Romero fight back, but the Bucks get them in stereo sharpshooters, with Perry locking a Snare Trap to Okada, but they escape the submissions. This quickly devolves into a Pier Six as each man gives their all. A BTWE Trigger and a running knee assist to Romero and Matt cover to secure the victory in one, two, and three.

Your Winners via Pinfall: The Young Bucks and “Jungle” Jack Perry

After the match, Matt and Nick get on the mic. While they’re despondent about their Revolution PPV loss in front of their family. FTR was the better team (but not the better men), but they kids reminded them they are still The Young Bucks, and they’ll work their way back to the top to challenge for the AEW Tag Titles.

We hear some familiar music, and You Think You Know him, but Adam CopeLand (or is it “Cope?” I didn’t get the memo) and Christian Cage join the Bucks at ringside. Copeland gives them a pep talk and explains his absence, saying he was at Beth Copeland’s side following neck surgery. He says now that she is clear, he wants the tag belts as well and they’ll face FTR at the AEW Dynasty PPV on April 12th. Cage chimes in to claim the titles mean they’re the best of their generation and the Bucks’ generation.

Before Matt and Nick can dispute the matter, out comes FTR and they make a beeline to the ringside, as all four men clear them out. FTR drop the belts, but the Bucks, Cage, and Cope hang onto them as well.

Some friction hangs in the air with the tag teams as the show comes to a close.

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