Is today Saturday already? I could have sworn Dynamite was just yesterday!
Dynamite was in fact yesterday. I wonder why AEW would put Collision on a Thursday on a seemingly random weekend in April! (There’s about three pounds of sarcasm here, folks. Chill out!)
The venue is the splendid MGM Music Hall at Fenway in Boston, Mass. “Timeless” Toni Storm will be on commentary for a massive tag match set between Mercedes Mone and Harley Cameron as they take on Julia Hart and Kris Statlander, Adam Cole will have an Open Challenge for his TNT Championship, and the Don Callis Family will be in the ring twice.
Tony Schiavone and Nigel McGuinness are up on the ramp to kick things off with a recap of last night’s action.
During the recap, “The Problem” Marina Shafir interrupts by attacking a worker and then going straight for Arkady Aura. Guess which others join her! Wheeler Yuta, Claudio Castagnoli, and Jon Moxley wreck some cameras, chairs, and whatever (and whomever) else they can get their hands on.
Talk about a temper tantrum.
The crowd chants “you tapped out!” as Moxley circles the ring. He says nobody’s going to be celebrating for a while. He says the Young Bucks are in the way of the Death Riders and they need to stay out of his way. Moxley singles out Samoa Joe as a someone he’s always respected. “Joe’s gonna kill you!” chants ensue. He says Joe started something he’s going to have to finish. He issues a challenge to Samoa Joe and stares at the camera menacingly.
1. Kevin Knight vs. Lance Archer
Archer doesn’t even let Arkady Aura finish his introduction, going right at Knight. McGuinness says he “blocks out the Sunlight”. I mean, I can’t say I disagree with that take.
Don Callis is not on the commentary desk, choosing to coach from ringside. I do enjoy when he speaks Canadian on the mic.
He tries powerslamming Knight into the ring from the ramp but Knight counters and lands a shotgun dropkick off the ropes. Knight gets flipped out with a massive lariat from the Murderhawk Monster.
Callis gets involved, preventing Knight from climbing the ropes as the ref checks on Archer. After sustaining a big number of hits, Knight tries a roll-up counter but only gets two on the count.
Knight lands a couple of big drops.
Winner: Kevin Knight.
After their victory last night, The Opps cut a promo saying they are men who only need an opportunity to strike. Joe says they’re just getting started.
Renee Paquette is backstage with Kris Statlander and Jamie Hayter. The two will face each other Wednesday in the Owen Hart tournament in a first-ever meeting. Statlander says the winner of their match should win it all.
Schiavone has a letter from FTR. A letter of apology… A week-long suspension without pay is something, I guess. The letter turns sarcastic and insulting quickly. Don Callis welcomes Josh Alexander to the Family.
2. Josh Alexander and Konosuke Takeshita vs. Rocky “Azucar” Romero and Tomohiro Ishii
“Big Tom” and Takeshita get us underway and they right at it with forearm strikes.
Don Callis joins the desk this time around. He points out, for those who might not know, he was the one who signed Alexander to his first professional wrestling contract.
Takeshita hits Ishii with a massive forearm and Alexander gets Romero. Ishii kicks out but Alexander uses his ankle lock. Romero gets him to break the hold. Ishii and Romero get Alexander but he’s able to get out of a stick two-on-one encounter.
Romero calls to get tagged in but makes Ishii dive at air, leaving his partner to the wolves. Romero looks conflicted with his decision but he chose to jump off.
Winners: Alexander and Takeshita.
Romero goes to help up Ishii. Trent Beretta is back. The two attack Ishii. Don Callis and the winners return. Beretta gets a wrench from Callis and hits Ishii in the back of the neck. The Stone Pitbull is the latest victim of the Family.
Lexy Nair is backstage with Four Belts Mone. Mercedes is talking about her history with Statlander but gets interrupted by Harley Cameron and Mercedes Muppe. I can’t be the only one that thinks Muppe needs to be regular television.
3. Megan Bayne (with Penelope Ford) vs. Rebecca Scott and Ashley Vox
The two land a double dropkick and a few hits but she nails both of them with a double suplex. She hits Vox with three powerbombs and Scott with a decapitator.
Fate’s Descent, planting Scott on top of Vox.
Winner: Megan Bayne.
A pre-recorded promo for the 5-Tool-Player airs.
4. Adam Cole (c) vs. Claudio Castagnoli – Open Challenge for the TNT Championship
Castagnoli nails McGuinness’ knee with a chair on his way to the ring. What did the chair ever do to the Swissman?
The action spills outside and Schiavone aptly says “Yup. We’re moving.” Castagnoli hits a massive gorilla press slam, leading to “A-E-Dub!” chants.
Cole connects with a chin kick to get some reprieve as both men lay on the mat to recover. A backstabber gets Cole a two count. Cole hits a neckbreaker. Again, only for two.
Cole tries again for a Panama Sunrise but gets spun around. Maybe not as many times as Castagnoli would have liked. Two on the cover. Castagnoli hits an avalnache suplex. Cole counters the cover.
Winner: Adam Cole retains.
Claudio flies into a rage, taking it out on the broadcast desk. Wheeler Yuta and the others come to calm him down.
Lexy Nair is backstage with Bryan Keith and Big Bill. Bill’s disappointed in Jericho as well. He’s getting angry. He seems to be controlling it better than Castagnoli “controlling” his anger.
5. La Faction Ingobernable vs. KM, Rosario Grillo, and LSG
LFI look to send a message to anyone who wants to hear it. Rush ends it with a pinfall on KM.
Winners: La Faction Ingobernable.
Renee Paquette is backstage with Kevin Knight as he chats with “Speedball” Mike Bailey. Ricochet interrupts, stating that they “screwed” him out of the cash prize in the four-on-four tag recently. Knight whips his hair, saying that’s something Ricochet can’t do. It’s almost too easy. Renee flips her hair at Ricochet as she leaves.
6. Komander (c) (with Alex Abrahantes) vs. Nick Wayne for the ROH TV Championship.
Komander goes for a handshake but Wayne opts for a spit in the face… Bold choice. Queue the MJ meme “… and I took that personally.”
The high-flying Komander makes the Patriarchy member pay with stiff strikes to start off. Komander counters a cross-body with a spinning back breaker.
Nick Wayne sends the champ into the middle turnbuckle. Komander hits a poisonrana but gets two on the cover. Wayne hits a dragon suplex and gets 2.7 on the count. So close.
Komander hits another poisonrana and gets Wayne set up for a finisher. Wayne gets the feet up and gets out of it. Pump handle pick up ends it.
Winner: and new ROH TV Champion, Nick Wayne.
The Patriarchy watches backstage and clap for their new champion. But Christian Cage walks away and nobody knows where to.
A highlight promo for Hologram airs. He will return next week.
Top Flight and Leila Grey are backstage. They call out Lio Rush and Action Andretti. They issue a challenge for a Tornado Tag match. Their opponents show up and security shows up before any hits are thrown.
7. Mercedes Mone and Harley Cameron vs. Julia Hart and Kris Statlander
“Timeless” Toni Storm joins commentary. This is going to be gold.
“Julia the Teenage Witch”? I personally didn’t know Hart has an acting background as well. Maybe that’s just as “Timeless” as Toni’s acting. She wonders if there was always a desk at the commentary booth.
Statlander and Mone start but Mone quickly tags out. Cameron tries distracting Statlander with Muppe. Not sure that would have worked on anyone. She does land some offense but Statlander quickly turns the tables and tags in Hart. It’s actually hilarious seeing the commentary team with no desk behind the ring. They should go for this set-up more often.
Storm says she’s also a CEO. A Copious Estrogen Owner. I hope she came up with that on the spot. It’s gold. Also gold is how Statlander and Mone countered each other outside the ring.
Mone goes for her Three Amigos but Statlander stops her. She hits a double suplex on Mone and Cameron, then follows it up with two more doubles. Jamie Hayter is backstage and applauds.
Hart gets tagged in and Mone gets her in the turnbuckles. Hart fights out of it before taking more damage.
Statlander gets Cameron with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Hart has Mone tied up in the ropes.
Winners: Julia Hart and Kris Statlander.
“Timeless” Toni Storm claps for Statlander. She’ll have her eyes on the Hayter – Statlander match.
