AEW Collision: Fyter Fest Part Deux-The Wrath of Tony Khan

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

AEW Collision: Fyter Fest Part Deux-The Wrath of Tony Khan
Courtesy of AEW.

It’s Wednesday night, and you know what that means.

Yes, TK and the Booker Monkeys™ are giving us FOUR HOURS of All Elite Wrestling. Also, there is a metric ton ‘o sports (read: hockey) on Saturday, which is why the cup of Lord Stanley will be featured, and Collision is here. That and as many have outlined, I doubt at this point AEW knows the meaning of the word “pacing.”

But, I digress.

Since “Superstar” Sulien Khan is covering Dynamite, I will be your humble scribe on the Collision portion of the program.

And, yes, Virginia…expect Haikus, Clerihews, and Limericks galore, since no human can recap this much wrestling, let alone on a school night.

*sigh*

We come to you from the Mission Ballroom in Denver, CO, as the Dynamite portion of the show bleeds over with the Four-Way match between Kenny Omega, Brody King, Claudio Castagnoli, and Mascara Dorada for the AEW International belt. The end had Omega deliver the One-Winged Angel to retain the title.

Now let’s kick off your Collision part of Fyter Fest.

As Omega celebrates, Kaizuchika Okada emerges, and the Continental Champion stares down the International Champion, neither backing down. They come to blows, as Okada gives Omega a shot to the abdomen. Omega tries to get him in a One-Winged Angel, but Okada scurries out and takes off with his title.

You don’t suppose they do a title-for-title match, eh?

We get a recap of last Collision with FTR talking trash to the CMLL luchadors Atlantis, Jr., and Templario, who they will face tonight in competition.

Ricochet here addresses the crowd, and he claims that he has an eye for talent. He is looking for attributes in making his quest for gold a reality, and he’s be scouting out during the ROH World Television title match.

Now, Nigel McGuinness and Tony Schiavone have the call, and our Next Match of the Night is…

Will Ospreay vs. Lio Rush ( with Action Andretti)

This match came about early in the show as Rush and Andretti talked smack at the Aerial Assassin:

Early on, Ospreay is able to slow down the lighting offense of Rush, and he slides out of the ring and gets fanned down by Andrett. Ospreay gives chase outside as Andretti provides a distraction that allows Rush to dive and knock him into the barricades.

During Picture in Picture, Rush is in control, disrespecting the Aerial Assassin. He manages to land a boot to the Man of the Hour, followed by Kawada-style kicks. Rush sends him to ropes, and Ospreay counters with a springboard enzugiri. He gets him into a torture rack and transitions to a Blue Thunder Bomb variation for a two count.

They go back and forth until Rush strikes with a poison ‘rana, and then a lower rope springboard cutter finds the mark. Rush climbs up the top turnbuckle and Ospreay is in pursuit. He gets knocked off and Rush goes for a splash, but it’s countered with an Oscutter, and another one gives Ospreak a cover for a count of two. He signals for the Hidden Blade, and Andretti grabs his leg. Rush is on the move, and Ospreay tosses him out to his CRU partner, and then he launches with a flying space Tiger drop from the ring to the floor.

He sets up for Stormbreaker, but Rush counters, and then lands the MOTH frog splash to cover for a two count. Frustrated, he pulls a chain from his tights and wraps it around his hand. Before Rush can use the weapon, the ref catches him in the act and pulls it off. In the confusion, Ospreay delivers the Styles Clash and wins it in three.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Will Ospreay

After the match, Andretti lays the beat down, and he and Rush double team until “Hangman” Adam Page makes the save.

Page gets on the mic and says he’s got Ospreay’s back. He states he is his own man and doesn’t need help to win a title. Not even from someone like Swerve Strickland. He promises he won’t need, nor accept, help from him, and Page will ride into Texas and beat Jon Moxley for the AEW World Championship.

Mox appears behind him, and then they have a stare-down. The Death Riders come out in force and surround the ring until Ospreay limps back in with steel chairs. Mox calls off the troops.

Lexi Nair is backstage with the Don Callis Family, and Callis says they answered the challenge from Paragon to face them in the main event. As for Bandido, Callis claims he cost him “mucho dinero,” and he has decided that he needs to add a luchador on his side. Cue Hechicero, and he, Kyle Fletcher, and Konosuke Takeshita will take on Bandido and The Outrunners in a trios match tonight.

Well, let’s get lucha lit with your tag match between…

FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler, with Stokely Hathaway) vs. Templario and Atlantis, Jr.

Yeah, I think this is the perfect place for a Lucid Luchador Limerick in Review™.

*Ahem*

The luchadors face down FTR

And the disrespect from Harwood and Wheeler goes a little too far.

Between Atlantis and Templario

Their moves were on point, since they’re great technicos.

But a trip up ensures FTR the win, which is no shocker.

Your Winners via Pinfall: FTR

Stokely gets on the mic after the match, and he states that every tag team ends up falling sooner or later to FTR. Harwood tries to talk, but the Denver fans won’t let him get a word in. Because of that, it’s Top Guys…out.

Next up is trios action with…

The Don Callis Family (Konosuke Takeshita, Kyle Fletcher, and Hechicero) vs. Bandido and The OutRunners (Truth Magnum and Turbo Floyd)

The OutRunners come out in neon pink masks and are addressed on commentary as “Señor Truth” and “El Turbo.”

I’d say this is cultural appropriation, if it wasn’t so damn funny.

As such, here’s your next Lucid Luchador Limerick in Review™.

*ahem*

This six-man match has lots of international flavor

That fans in Denver really savor.

The Don Callis Family is in control for much of the match

With their offense fully dispatched,

As Fletcher and Takeshita hit Los OutRunners with stereo brain busters.

Your Winners via Pinfall: Hechicero, Kyle Fletcher, and Konosuke Takeshita

There is a recap of the street fight with Anna Jay and Harley Cameron against Megan Bayne and Penelope Ford from last week’s Collision. Funny thing, Bayne and Ford are backstage, and they have Cameron by the hair.

They drag her out on stage, and Ford directs Bayne to put Cameron in a fireman’s carry and drop her to the floor below. All of a sudden, Tay Melo comes out for the save, and security comes out to break it up before they come to blows.

Welcome back, Melo. You have been missed.

Nair is now with Billy Gunn and Anthony Bowens, and the Five Tool Player let us know that in June, it is time to showcase the Pride of Pro Wrestling. He also thinks he needs to whip Kyle Fletcher for Summer Blockbuster next Wednesday.

Ricochet steps out to join the commentary and scout for potential people, and it is time for a title match for the…

Ring Of Honor World Television Championship: Nick Wayne (with Mother Wayne and Christian Cage)(c) vs. Sammy Guevara vs. AR Fox vs. Lee Johnson (with Blake Christian)

For these four individuals, I think a Squared Circle Clerihew™ is in order:

*ahem*

All four men are feeling the grooves

As they counter each other’s moves.

But Nick Wayne stays on top

As he hits Fox with a DVD drop.

Your Winner and Still ROH World Television Champion: Nick Wayne

Next is the debut of the “Toxic Spider…”

Thekla vs. Lady Frost

Much has been made of the Vienna, Austrian coming over from the STARDOM promotion (the same place as Mariah May and Mina Shirakawa).

I know this is an important debut, since I smell Squash wafting in the air, so howzabout a patented Haiku in Review™:

*ahem*

Spider is toxic

And thaws out her opponent.

Death trap ends Frost quick.

Your Winner via Submission: Thekla

After the match, Thekla goes back and gets a lockjaw variation to Frost until Queen Aminata comes to the rescue.

Later in the show, Aminata cuts a promo backstage, saying she understands that people want to make a name for themselves. But she’s the African Queen and tells Thekla in her country they stomp spiders. She challenges her to a match next week.

Tony Schiavone announces they Omega and Okada will have a Winner Take All at All In Texas. Next week will be the contract signing.

Now for the Main Event between…

Paragon (Adam Cole, Roderick Strong, and Kyle O’Reilly) and Daniel Garcia (with “Daddy Magic” Matt Menard) vs. Rocky Romero, Trent Berretta, Lance Archer, and Josh Alexander (with Don Callis)

Again, I am tapped out. Not from the action in the ring, but the fact that AEW just doesn’t know pacing. That, and the dueling bickerfest with Magic and Calls is not helping my mental state.

Thus, please to enjoy your last Lucid Luchador Limerick in Review™:

*ahem*

Garcia and Paragon face down Callis’ goons

Even when things midway in the match spell their doom.

Despite bodies flying everywhere

All eight men attack without a care.

But Adam Cole makes them feel the Boom.

Your Winners via Pinfall: Daniel Garcia, Kyle O’Reilly, Roderick Strong, and Adam Cole Bay-BAY

All four men stand tall in celebration as the show comes to a close.

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