AEW Collision: Drink up the Hayter-Ade

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

AEW Collision: Drink up the Hayter-Ade
Courtesy of AEW.

It’s Saturday night, and you know what that means?

No, you don’t plan to go to war in a group chat. That part should be obvious.

It’s time for AEW Collision, and as we march towards the AEW Dynasty pay-per-view, we will see Jamie Hayter in the main event, and we will find out who will declare for the Owen Hart Tournament. We come to you from the UWM Panther Arena in Milwaukee, WI. Tony Schiavone and Nigel McGuinness have the call, so let’s go to ringside as “Timeless” Toni Storm graces us with her presence. She calls out for Megyn Bayne but fails to heed her call. Then it’s a spotlight on the Timeless One, and she recalls being flat on her back from Bayne’s attack “like she bought her a steak dinner.” She goes over reliving the event, and after a moment in the loo, she remembered who she was.

Penelope Ford did a sneak attack but Storm got over her and was readying a hip attack until Bayne added the coup de grace.

Claudio Castagnoli is with the Death Riders and he challenges Adama Copeland on Dynamite next week. Moxley adds his two cents saying he used to fear his mom and his wife until she met Marina Shafi. Shafir speaks, and ye Gods does she scare me.

And that’s coming from a guy who dealt with nuns in Ca atholic school…in Utah.

Now for your First Match of the Night between…

“Switchblade” Jay White vs. Kevin Knight

Knight is a blue-chipper from the New Japan Pro Wrestling LA Dojo, and this is his debut. As for the match…I think this is a good time to debut my newest poetry skill, with a Squared Circle Clerihew™:

*ahem*

Kevin Knight faced Jay White,

And was outmatched on this night.

It’s a bummer

That Knight was felled by the Blade Runner.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Jay White

White gets on the mic and gives props to Knight’s effort. He declares himself in the Owen Hart Foundation and puts over the All In Texas PPV because he wants to show everyone it is the Switchblade Era.

MJF threw out the first pitch at Texas Stadium for the Texas Rangers game, and he recalls his moments with the Hurt Syndicate, and how he just wants to conduct business.

Next up is…

Mercedes Moné vs. Robyn Renegade

Yeahhhh…time for another Squared Circle Clerihew™:

*ahem*

Mercedes thinks she is money,

And Renegade ain’t finding this funny.

But after a MoneyMaker

Moné says, “See ya later.”

Your Winner via Pinfall: Mercedes Moné

Schiavone comes in to talk to Moné and she declares herself for the Owen Hart Foundation and promises the fans that she will become the AEW Women’s Champion. She doesn’t sweat Billie Starkz and questions who trained her. Cue ROH Women’s Champion Athena and they have a stare-down before she takes a swing.

Lexy Nair is backstage with Queen Aminata, and apparently her match with Jamie Hayter will not happen because her wrist is injured and she is not cleared to wrestle. Serena Deeb comes in and says she shoulda listened to her, but the Queen doesn’t want to listen to her trash. Professor Deeb gives her some reading material as she recovers.

Now for tag team action between…

Top Flight (Darius and Dante Martin, with Leila Grey) vs Bryan Keith and Big Bill

Dante and Keith start and it isn’t long before Top Flight shows off their tag team tandem moves. Once Bill tags in, he shows off what he’s gained under the Learning Tree of Jericho as he is a Redwood of rage against Darius. During Picture in Picture, Bill and Keith cut the ring in half as Darius’ Flight Plan is in Peril, which leads to…

Ads (Oh how I loathe the Monkeys in the Truck for cutting things off in the middle of a match)

We come back and Dante gets the hot tag, but Bill stymies the heat. He and Keith get ready to lay waste to Dante, but a miscommunication allows Top Flight to hit the high skies, and the action spills to the outside. From there, Bill slams Darius to the barricades and Dante launches himself outside. They get back in the ring and one choke slam later by Bill to Dante and it’s all over.

Your Winners via Pinfall: Bryan Keith and Big Bill

After the match, Lio Rush and Action Andretti look to pick their spot, until AR Fox steps in to even the odds.

Nair is backstage with Jamie Hayter on facing Billie Starkz and she gives props to the rising star. That said, she makes it clear that during their match Starkz shouldn’t mistake respect for mercy. She also throws her hat in the Owen Hart tournament and the field is getting interesting.

Now for story time with Adam Cole, Bay Bay. He gets on the mic with Kyle O’Reilly and Roderick Strong in tow, and he wants to talk to the TNT champion Daniel Garcia. Cue Garcia and “Daddy Magic” Matt Menard, and as they enter the ring, Cole says he has a lot of respect for him as a fighting champ. He couldn’t beat him for the title because it went to a draw and he needs to have a true finish. Garcia agrees until Daddy Magic gets the mic and says he has nothing to prove. Garcia has enough and challenges Cole one more time; no time limit and no one at ringside and he will prove once and for all who the better man is.

Athena and Billie Starkz are backstage and the champ tells Moné to keep their names out of her mouth. Athena declares herself for the Owen Hart Tournament and promises she’ll be watching her closely.

Now back to the ring as the next match is between…

Wheeler Yuta vs Dax “The Axe” Harwood

Both men are evenly matched but Harwood lives up to his “Axe” moniker and chops down Yuta, but just can’t put him away. He slides outside the ring and Yuta lures him in, slamming his head into the barricade and the steel steps. He stomps on his arm on the steps and Yuta begins to pick him apart. During Picture in Picture, Yuta is in the driver’s seat and focuses on his bad wing. They go outside and throw heavy hands while Harwood holds his arm. Yuta starts to get back in the ring and Harwood catches him with a dragon screw leg whip, and now he adds to his pain as he wraps his legs around the post in a figure four. He attempts another and Yuta pushes him bad arm first into the ring post. He climbs up the high-rent district but Harwood pushes Yuta off and he lands an avalanche back body drop to cover for a two count. Yuta tries to come back with the Cattle Mutilation but Harwood reaches the ropes to break the hold. Yuta attempts the submission again but Harwood fights out and slaps him in a Sharpshooter. Yuta fights through the pain and reaches the ropes to break the hold. They jockey for position and Yuta manages to get the roll up for the pin and the win.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Wheeler Yuta

After the match, Harwood is upset by the decision and gets in the ref’s grill until security becomes involved. Cash Wheeler comes out and tries to pull them off and Harwood pushes him off as well. Harwood realizes his mistake and offers his hand but Wheeler slaps it away and walks off, and even fans chanted, “You f***** up.”

Talk about a big “Whoops!”

Backstage, The Patriarchy is with…someone (I didn’t catch the name, nor am I gonna worry. So let’s call her “TEMU Lexy Nair.”

Sound good. Great, thought you’d agree.

Anywhoosles, As Temu Nair interviews Nick Wayne, Lio Rush and Action Andretti come out to have a meeting of the minds regarding Wayne’s friendship with AR Fox. He makes it clear he has no involvement with him, and you can tell this is far from over.

Let’s head back to ringside for…

Hologram vs. Blake Christian

*Sigh!*

Yep, let’s do another Squared Circle Clerihew™:

*ahem*

Lots of flipping and high-flying

Between Christian and Hologram. How exciting!

The end is certain

As Hologram’s portal bomb beats Christian.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Hologram

Lexy Nair is backstage with Thunder Rosa and Kris Statlander on entering the Owen Hart tournament. They both give props to the other but make it clear if they face each other someone is going down.

Now for the Main Event, and it is between…

Jamie Hayter vs Billie Starkz

The fans chant for the ROH star “Billie!” as Hayter gets in Starkz’s grill. The bell rings and this match is all Hayter as she manages to land a missile dropkick to Starkz. During Picture in Picture, she takes it to Athena’s student and uses the rope to drop her knees to Starkz’s back. She fights back and trips up Hayter, but she manages to get the ROH upstart in a single-leg crab. Starkz fights through the pain and reaches the rope to break the submission. Hayter goes to the apron and gets tripped up by Starkz and she dives to the outside. Starkz throws her back in the ring and goes up top to land a swanton and covers for a two count.

The fans are eating this up with dueling “Starkz/Hayter” chants. Hayter nails a shotgun dropkick to Starkz but she comes back with a modified neckbreaker for another two count, and she returns the receipt and follows with a sliding clothesline for another near fall. They go back and forth until Hayter delivers a springboard Hayterade and that’s enough to put down Starkz for the one, two, and three.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Jamie Hayter

After the match, Athena comes out and stares down Hayter as the show fades to black.

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