AEW Collision (and Rampage): Samoa Joe and CM Punk a match for the ages

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

AEW Collision (and Rampage): Samoa Joe and CM Punk a match for the ages
CM Punk and Samoa Joe shaking hands after their Owen Hart Tournament match.

It’s Saturday night and it’s still all right for fighting on AEW Collision, despite the drop in ratings over the Fourth of July weekend. Tonight should make up for it as CM Punk and Samoa Joe face each other for the first time in over eighteen years to reach the finals of the Owen Hart Tournament.

Before we get to the show, let’s quickly go over what happened on AEW Rampage with my now patented…

Rapid Rampage Review in Rhyme™

Since haikus weren’t getting the job done, limericks offered a more fun challenge to cover an entire show. That said…

*ahem*

The Elite fell to the Dark Order after Callis’ distraction.

Guevara and Garcia deleted Jarrett and Hardy in short fashion.

Shafir had a Problem with Shida and went down,

And Cage and Big Bill decapitate Sydal and Beretta on the crown.

And still after one hundred episodes, Rampage has no traction.

(Author’s Note: I may have to do this as a collection down the road. Hey Greg, John, or Bob, who do I have to see about that type of a book deal?)

Now let’s jump to…

AEW Collision Coverage

We come to you from the Brandt Center in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. Kevin Kelly and Nigel McGuinness have the call, and CM Punk comes out to massive cheers from the fans. You know, the opposite of what he got a while back in Toronto.

Punk has the mic, and I’ll see if I need to tell him when he’s telling lies…

“I don’t want to come out here and take up too much of your time. But there’s some history that needs to be detailed. And it’s not just about me and it’s not just about Joe. It’s about everybody here in Regina, everybody here in Canada. Everybody here in Hart/Stampede country.

I recognize the gravity of the moment this is the biggest match of my career. If I could for a moment…if Joe kills me in a dream, he better wake up and apologize. It feels like the end of the tournament; it feels like the finals of the tournament but it’s not. If I said it was, I’d be looking past Powerhouse Hobbs. I’d be looking past “Absolute” Ricky Starks. But today history will be made: Samoa Joe has said it, and he is right. Kevin Kelly has said it. Time will stand still.

Eighteen years since I’ve been in the ring with Samoa Joe. I got missing teeth because of this man. I got scars like a roadmap up and down my pretty face because of this man.

(Acknowledging a fan) I am pretty.

Bigger than me, bigger than Samoa Joe, or CM Punk; there’s one name, and that’s who I want to hear. You chant for tonight: It’s Owen Hart.

(Fans chant loudly for “Owen Hart”)

If it wasn’t for Owen Hart, a lot of that locker room would be empty right now. If it wasn’t for Owen Hart. I might not be here right now. So you can champion CM Punk, and you can put on a pedestal Samoa Joe, and you could talk about how powerful Powerhouse Hobbs is, and you could talk about how talented “Absolute” Ricky Starks is. None of us would be here if it was not for Owen Hart.

And ladies and gentlemen, I am a hockey guy. And I know we’re in [Regina] Pats country and this is a hockey town and I’m also not superstitious. I will walk under ladders. I will break a mirror right before the biggest match of my life and I will touch the trophy not because I deserve it, but because I. Will. Earn. It!

I cannot promise a victory. I have never beaten Samoa Joe. A lot of people say I never will. Chose one of them. But I believe, and one thing I can promise you, is tonight in that ring, win, lose, or draw I will pour my heart out between those four posts until there’s nothing left to give and I believe everything in that ring for me.”

Well, he ain’t telling lies there, folks. We’ll see if he can still back up his words.

For now, we head to the First Match of the Night, and it’s the…

Courtesy of AEW

Men’s Owen Hart Tournament Semifinal: Ricky Starks vs. Powerhouse Hobbs ( with QTV)

This is the first time since the former Team Taz members were together in the same space, let alone in the squared circle. Hobbs enters wearing a Hart-inspired pink and black singlet. The only thing missing is a trophy sewn on the sides. Let’s see if he can capitalize on that.

This is a power versus speed match, and Hobbs pens a new page of pain as Starks tries to get the better of the big man as he send him out of the ring. As he confers with QTV, Hobbs returns to the mat and lays out Starks. Every time the Absolute one tries to fight back, Hobbs keeps him grounded. He whips Starks hard to turnbuckles, and during Picture in Picture, Hobbs continues to create more damage to his bad back. He gets Starks in a waistlock, and he elbows his way out and follows with a clothesline to knock Hobbs down, but not for long. Hobbs regains control and then takes Starks up the top turnbuckle in a fireman’s carry, but he escapes and gives the big man a powerbomb. Starks botches a springboard DDT to get most of it on Hobbs. He tries to hit the ropes but QT Marshall trips him up.

As the ref tells Marshall not to interfere, Hobbs delivers a spinebuster on Starks and covers, but referee Aubrey Edwards and Marshall are still arguing. Frustrated, Hobbs tells Marshall to get down off the ring apron and turns around to a spear by Starks and he covers for the pin and the win.

Your Winner, and Advancing in the Finals of the Owen Hart Tournament: Ricky Starks

After the match, Marshall tried to explain his position, and Hobbs ain’t hearing what he has to say as he shoves him down to the mat. Aaron Solo tries to step in and gets spinebuster Ed for his troubles. Now Harley Cameron gets in the way, and he walks off.

Now, if only Hobbs can apply that to the TMZ crew.

Miro wants to fight anyone that hurts him. He can’t be tempted from his path.

Well, it beats his talking to God schtick he’s been doing of late.

As if you need proof that the “card is subject to change” is not a work, Tony Schiavone is backstage with Willow Nightingale. Apparently, she had sustained an injury over the holiday weekend wrestling for New Japan Strong. She apologizes to the fans and promises she will be cleared next week on Rampage. Athena steps in and blames her for her injuries which cost her a chance to wrestle on Collision. Nightingale says she will get better and may challenge her for the ROH Women’s title, and Athena is all, “Pfft! Yeah, right!”

It’s a shame the match moved to Rampage, but these things happen folks.

We also get a preview of Blood and Guts ahead of AEW Dynamite next week.

Remember when Hell In A Cell was a scary concept match that was full of blood and mayhem? Pepperidge Farms remembers, and I do, too. This match between Blackpool Combat Club and The Elite will shorten some ring time for most, if not all, of the wrestlers involved that night.

Also, because we will not have a match with Willow and Athena, here’s…

Julia Hart (with Brody King) vs. Bambi Hall

Hall is a local worker who’s split time in America and Canada, and she has wrestled for All-Star Wrestling based in British Columbia. Good for her she gets TV time. Too bad it’s doing the job, and by “too bad” I mean this is time for a Haiku in Review™:

*Ahem*

Bambi looks good, but

Hart acts like Godzilla and

Stomps her. Tap out win.

Your Winner via Submission: Julia Hart

Malakai Black cuts a promo and plays his mind games with Andrade’s stolen mask. He needs to hide behind a mask, but Andrade shouldn’t and he will make him see things his way, face-to-face.

Lexy Nair is backstage with Andrade El Idolo about the significance of his mask. He explains the mask is about his family, culture, and all Latin people. When he wears it, he is all business and then adds, “Yo peleo o hasta morir.”

Loosely translated, he said, “I fight until I die.”

This feud can really be something if given the time it needs. But let’s turn to the ring, and this is an…

Courtesy of AEW

AEW Tag Team Title Eliminator Match: FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler) vs. Bullet Club Gold (Juice Robinson & Jay White)

A sign in the crowd read, “SASK is FTR” and big chants in the Centre for the Top Guys. Basically, the stipulation of this match is that if Bullet Club wins, they can challenge for the tag titles later on. Now, if this was WWE, that logic (dumb as it is) would make sense. So, why have this type of match here?

Author’s Note: What’s that? I’m overthinking this? Yes, but you can’t say I’m wrong, either.)

Harwood and White start that match and he takes the Bullet Club member to school. A tag to Robinson and he and Wheeler go a few rounds and it’s more of the same, so White and Robinson have a strategy meeting, and then The Switchblade tries some chicanery to no avail. It quickly goes to a Pier Four and FTR nail stereo German suplexes, and during Picture in Picture, they brawl outside the ring, and White gets the worst as they double-team him, and then…

Ads (What? You couldn’t have done it during the Julia Hart match?! Stupid Monkeys in the Truck!)

We come back and see that Robinson is going to town on Harwood. Wheeler gets in and Rock Hard gives him more of the same. He clubs at Robinson’s head but then gets flapjacked on the top rope to the outside, and White adds more pain on the steps to the still-dazed Wheeler.

He is a Top Guy In Peril, as Bullet Club Gold looks Too Sweet. Wheeler tries and fights his way out but keeps getting grounded, and at one point White nails a suplex onto the bottom turnbuckles. Wheeler manages to reverse the offense and crawls to his corner, but Robinson distracts him and as he focuses on that, they kick Harwood off the apron and double-team some more. With another Picture in Picture, Bullet Club Gold is still in control until Wheeler lands a high suplex and not gets the hot tag and Harwood is an FTR en Fuego. He goes up top and Harwood chops at White, but then gets shoved off hard to the mat. Robinson gets backdropped and Harwoodlands a superplex and Wheeler nails the big splash to cover but only gets a count of two.

Now each team digs deep, and FTR Hit their spike piledriver on White to cover, but Robinson breaks the count. Robinson gives Harwood a lungblower, and White follows with the Regalplex and that just gets a two count. White comes back with a high uranage, but Harwood nails a springboard powerbomb but still gets a two count. He nails a sliding European uppercut but still gets another two count. That leads to some “yay/boo” shots between Harwood and White, but it’s Robinson who delivers with a future shock powerbomb, and White stops Wheeler as Bullet a club Gold earns the win.

Your Winners via Pinfall: Bullet Club Gold

We get a video package of Shawn Spears, letting Luchasaurus and Christian Cage know he is a dangerous man, and he will show it at Battle of the Belts on July 15th.

Tony Schiavone is backstage with FTR, and Bullet Club Gold comes into the camera shot to rub salt in their wounds. Robinson and White then proceed to challenge them for the AEW Tag titles in a two out of three falls match next Collision.

I’m not crazy about How it was handled, but the match made up for it. So, yes, I would like another match between them, please.

Now making his return back to AEW, it’s…

Scorpio Sky vs. Action Andretti

Andretti is already in the ring, and you can smell the “jobbing” he’s gonna do tonight. If nothing else, Andretti and Sky make this look exciting, so no haikus for you folks.

This match has fast-paced action, and Sky has not lost a step as he lands a leaping foot stomp to Andretti’s back. During Picture in Picture Sky whips him hard into the turnbuckles, and follows with a backbreaker, and then…

Ads (Double-SIGHHH!!!)

We come back and Andretti lands a handspring back elbow and launches to a tope on Sky on the floor. Back in the ring, he measures Sky and misses a double foot stomp, but Andretti recovers with Spanish Fly for a two count. He lands a running dropkick to the corner and attempts his split-legged moonsault but Sky moves out of the way and delivers the TKO to make a statement on his return.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Scorpio Sky

After the match, Sky offers his hand in a show of sportsmanship and Andretti accepts.

Now we go to the Main Event and it’s the…

Courtesy of AEW

Men’s Owen Hart Tournament Semifinal: CM Punk vs. Samoa Joe

Punk himself comes out with Hart-themed ring gear and a T-Shirt in the usual pink and black motif, and the fans pop loudly in approval for Punk (unlike in Toronto…just sayin’.)

After a brief staredown, the bell rings and we get a feeling out process by both men, but Punk lands the first chop. Then we go to a test of Strength and Joe proves his mettle. Punk escapes again and chops his chest. He gets wrist control over Joe’s arm with the taped elbow. Punk whips him to the ropes and goes for a splash but in classic fashion, Joe moves out of the way and now he gets his licks in.

Joe punches him down to a puddle in the corner. Punk tries to get momentum to swing back, but no such luck. He takes his boot and scrapes at his head and attempts the face wash, but Punk stops him with a back elbow. Joe chops him out of the ring and during Picture in Picture he toys with the old Second City Saint and gives him a boot for good measure. Punk mounts a comeback with a flying clothesline from the ring apron, and then back in the ring, Joe twists his neck, and Punk is bleeding from the mouth. He goes for a knee drop and misses Joe, and both men slug it out. Joe chops his chest, but Punk answers with a leg lariat and then a knee lift on the corner. Joe locks the Coquina Clutch, and Punk reverses to a backdrop suplex and both men are slow to get to their feet. Punk returns a series of knee lifts in the corner, then nails a short arm clothesline, and goes up top for the elbow drop for one, two…no dice.

He signals for Go 2 Sleep and picks him up but Punk collapses and Joe quickly goes for the crossface, but he manages to get a foot on the bottom rope to break the submission. Joe returns fire with Kawada kicks and then sets him up for a powerbomb, and Punk escapes for another G2S, but Joe pushes him off and hits a snap powerslam for another close two. Punk lands a roundhouse kick and drapes his body to cover, but still gets a two count. Punk goes back up the top turnbuckle, but Joe knocks him off. He attempts his signature musclebuster, and Punk manages to shove him off. Both men counter each other’s finishers until Punk manages to pull off a Victory Roll on the ROH Television champ for the one, two, and three.

Your Winner, and Advancing in the Finals of the Owen Hart Tournament: CM Punk

Punk is spent and Joe is in the corner in disbelief at the loss. As the fans chant “Owen Hart,” Joe extends a hand and Punk obliges…as he yanks him in the Coquina Clutch to tap out.

Joe goes out to grab a steel chair, and FTR run down the ramp into the ring for the save, and he walks off. As Wheeler and Harwood check on Punk, Starks comes from the back and eyes Punk in the ring for a minute and then walks back. So next week, Punk and Starks will meet in the finals of the Owen Hart Tournament as the show fades to black.

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