This will be an interesting NWA POWERRR, from The Lost going into six-man tag action, to Australian Slex making his United States in-ring debut, and the pairing of Baron Von Storm and Exodus Pro star Brandon Barretta are looking to get a good position in The Crockett Cup against…The Temple of Duum.
Well, National Wrestling Alliance…this is probably gonna be the strangest recap I’ve ever done, and I’ve seen a lot of strange things in my life that defy description.
But enough about Provo, UT…
The show begins again with the Inspire Workshop once again trying to help the NWA roster on their conflict resolution, and I gotta say…they ain’t reading the room. They explore the emotions of not getting championship gold and how they deal with their fears. They start with Big Strong Mims, and he claims he fears nothing, but it’s obvious he’s afraid to be in touch with his emotions.
*Tsk!* Typical toxic masculinity.
Next, it’s Tyler Franks, and he isn’t afraid of anything… except the person in the mirror. They assess him as having honesty issues (HA!).
Now for Kenzie Paige and she is afraid of drowning…in success.
Hunter is afraid of balding (Oy! Gen-Z and their trauma bragging).
Tiffany Nieves feels Bueno, and is afraid of the roster destroying themselves from their insecurities when it comes to her (The narcissism on this chick).
Finally, NWA World Heavyweight Champion Thom Latimer is up, and he’s feeling like the king of the world. There’s no fear here.
(Author’s Note: I fear these segments may be losing their luster and right soon.)
We come to you from the Dothan Civic Center in Dothan, AL, for more Hard Times. Joe Galli, Billy Corgan, and Danny Dealz have the call. Your First Match of the Night is…
Six-Man Tag Team Match: The Lost (Gaagz the Gymp, Lev, and Alex Misery) vs. Size Matters (Eric Smalls and Sam Stackhouse) and Tyler Franks
Looks like this newest faction of The Lost has found themselves in a class of their own. I’m curious how this faction will gel moving forward.
There’s a it of chaos right from the outset, but once the dust settles, Misery and Franks start the match. He outwrestles The Unhinged Chaos but gets a thumb in the eye for his troubles. Now there’s a tag to Smalls and Lev, and he gives a Bronco…err Pony Buster, followed by The (Inch)inch worm to a leg drop. Things look good until Lev knocks him down with an STO, and all of The Lost take turns beating down the Half Pint Punk.
Gaagz unzips the mask to signal the end, but as they run the ropes, Smalls connects with the (short) spear. He crawls to his corner and now gets the hot tag to Stackhouse, and he’s serving all three men spinning heel kicks en Fuego. The big man is Ready to add the coup de grace until Franks tags himself in, all cocksure of getting the pin. Misery rolls him up for a near fall, but then Franks catches him in a torture rack and spins him into a Blue Thunder Bomb for a count of two. Misery gets his mojo back and nails a corner springboard cutter to Franks and covers, but Smalls breaks the count. Once again, we have a Pier Six brawl, and Stackhouse attempts a tope suicida but Lev and Gaagz stop him. Franks finds himself at the mercy of The Lost, and the numbers catch up with him as Misery with a nasty spike tombstone ends it.
Your Winners via Pinfall: The Lost
On Dothan Today with your host, Chelsea, she tries to give fellow Alabamians the traffic report. Enter Joe Cazana, interrupting the live show. He tries to apologize for the bad interview last week, and Chelsea is just trying to get to the road closures. Joe is not hearing it and wants her and the people of Dothan to accept his apology.
Plus, he argues, who cares about road closures?
Say what you will, Cazana can do insincerity very sincerely.
I accept your apology, just like you’ll accept that this next match is between…
Jay Bradley vs. Slex
This is not the first time we are seeing Slex, as he was prominent during The World is a Vampire tour in Australia. Now he’s arrived in the United States, and he wants The Business to be booming.
Before he can get ready, Bradley just fires away at the Australian. He goes for a Running boot and misses, and Slex chops away. His agility and speed are key here against the more powerful Bradley, but he grinds that to a halt as he hurts him on the outside. He goes for a splash, but Slex moves away at the last second, and Bradley hits the ring post. Once again, he attempts to get some traction going, but Slex ends up getting tackled. As he rolls out, Bradley continues his barrage of offense, dropping him on the guardrail in front of the Dothan crowd. Then he grabs a chain and wraps it around his arm. The ref admonished him not to use the weapon, as Bradley reluctantly takes it off. Slex stages another comeback, but a clothesline wipes him out, and Bradley gets the pin and the win.
Your Winners via Pinfall: Jay Bradley
Back at the Inspire Workshop, Nieves talks to the rep, who we learn is named Ric, and commends how he has the seminar. She feels like a changed person and suggests doing more one-on-one sessions. He suggests to Nieves that they can have meditations, Zoom discussions, or phone calls.
Gotta say for Ric, this is not quite an Ascension.
(I’ll let you decrypt that on your own time, kids)
But let’s head back to the ring, as your Main Event is a tag team match between…
Brandon Barretta and Baron Von Storm vs. The Temple of Duum (Stone Rockwell and Beastman)
So this new duo has an Indie God vibe in Rockwell (and god help him if Steven Spielberg or Matt Cardona get a whiff of this gimmick). Beastman looks like what would happen if Bruiser Brody and Mantaur had their genes spliced to make up a…whatever you wanna call it.
Once the bell rings, Rockwell and Barretta start, and Rockwell offers his hand in sportsmanship and gets it slapped away by the brash young man from NWA Exodus Pro. They go hold for counter hold as Barretta displays his amateur background. He tags in Storm, and as Barretta launches Rockwell with a German Suplex, he signals for The Iron Claw. Rockwell backs off for a sec, and for a spell, Storm and Barretta work over the Action/Adventure star and show how well they mesh as a tag unit. However, Rockwell manages to get the upper hand on Barretta as he picks him up in a fireman’s carry and brings him down with a gutbuster. A tag to Beastman, and he gives Barretta a running crossbody. He is savage on offense as he lands a vicious cannonball in the corner. Tag back to Rockwell, and they deliver the finisher called The Pitfall (a tandem senton), and Rockwell covers Barretta for the one, two, and three.
Your Winners via Pinfall: The Temple of Duum
After the match, Beastman feasts on some “snacks” outside the ring while Rockwell soaks in the boos of the crowd. Little does he know that Storm is stalking him, and then he locks in the Iron Claw. Beastman finally sees his tag partner in trouble and tries to pull him away, to no avail. Barretta comes to the rescue and shows Storm the globe, which makes him finally release the hold as he stays mesmerized by the orb.
Back at the BitCrush in Dothan, Nieves talks to The Cashier and needs some advice. The Cashier suggests she needs to pursue tag team gold, and writes down a name on paper and gives it to La Princesa. She questions it because she has a tag partner in Ms. Starr. The Cashier rationalizes that she’s more of a manager anyway, like her mom, Baby Doll. As he points out to Nieves, “She’s Baby Doll’s baby doll.”
Nieves doesn’t question the logic until Kratos steps in and overhears the conversation. He wonders why she is listening to The Cashier, who’s never been in a fight or laced up a pair of wrestling boots. La Princesa agrees and walks off in a huff, and that closes out the show
