A four match PLE? Really, WWE? Two hours and 47 minutes in total? Well, they are also held an event at the ANB Arena in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, when missiles and drones have been launched at various cities there.
Was it worth it? We shall see but…what’s with Don’t Click Play by Ava Max as the theme song? What the hell does that song have to do with the card, the match-ups or anything? In the last 20 years, the WWE has had some of the worst music ushering in its TV shows and events, especially WrestleMania. It isn’t fight music. It isn’t music to get you pumped up. It is sniveling weaksauce crap.
Do better, WWE.
WWE Crown Jewel 2026 Results
Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton – Last Man Standing Match
Well, THEY did tell him to “start the show” so he did. Out comes, Cody.
The problem is just as many are cheering for Randy as he makes his way to the ring.
Orton teases some kids by standing close to the barrier but not letting them touch him. Cheeky that. Orton turns his back on Cody to pose for the crowd.
Once the bell rings they throw hands with the crowd still chanting Orton’s song. Cody fires back driving Orton to a corner. Orton returns the favour but misses a charge and hits a steel post. Cody dives on Orton sending him into the barricade.
They brawl on the floor. Cody is bounced first off the steps. Orton slams Cody on the announce table twice. Cody makes it back to the his feet at “four”. Orton drops Cody on table again then leans the cover of the table between the table and the floor. He slams Cody through it. Cody is up at “six”.
They throw fists into the crowd. Orton hits Cody over the head with a trash can. Cody is up at “seven”. Orton bashes him in the head with the lid of the can. Cody is up at “six” and takes another lid to the head. Cody douses some water on his face and head to clear the cob webs.
Orton bashes Cody with a kendo stick Cody is up at “five” but is limping. Cody grabs a hold of the stick and swings it like a baseball bat at Orton. Cody clotheslines Orton over the top rope with the stick. Randy is up at “six” on the floor. They fight up the entrance way.
Orton’s head is bounced off the LED screen. Cody disappears and returns with a garbage can. He hits Orton with it. Orton is up at “seven”. Cody sets up a table. Orton pokes Cody in the eyes and bounces his head off the table. Orton powerbombs Cody though the table. Cody is up at “eight”.
Cody gives Orton a draping DDT in the ring. The fans boo. Orton is back up at “eight:. He knocks Cody off the top rope. Orton Superplexes Cody back to the mat. Orton clotheslines Cody a bunch of times then he scoops him up for a powerslam. Cody blocks an RKO with a thumb to the eyes. Cody drops Orton with Cody Cutter. Orton is up at “six”. Cody launches his machine gun punches.
RKO out of nowhere!
Cody gets to his feet but Orton kicks him out of the ring. Orton picks up some steel steps but Cody sidesteps them. Orton hits the steel post with them. Cody clobbers Orton in the head with them. Cody lays Orton across the announce table labeling him with punches and a kendo stick. Cody climbs a ladder. Cody dives off the ladder. Orton moves. Cody puts himself through the table. Cody is up at “nine”.
Cody moves out of the way of a punt. Cody cutter, an awkward one, and then a Cross Rhodes. Orton is back up at “nine”. Cody gathers plunder from outside the ring, steps and a steel chair. Cody beats Orton with a steel chair so he can set him up on the stairs.
Cody stops the onslaught, stands holding a chair and contemplating what to do next. He stands over Orton on the stairs. Orton low-blows him. Cody blocks an RKO delivering three Cross Rhodes in a row. Orton hit the stairs and is bleeding from the top of his head.
You know what that means! Netflix censorship INCOMING!
Cody forces the official to stop counting Orton. A really awful punt by Cody. Orton doesn’t make it back to his feet in time. The fans boo Cody.
Winner: Cody Rhodes
Rating: 8 / 10
The Vision (c) vs. Penta and Je’Von Evans – World Tag Team Championship Match
Penta hits a springboard tornado DDT. Penta goes for the pin but Maxxine puts Theory’s foot on the ropes. She then gets into an argument about it with the official. Bronson Reed grabs Penta and gives him a nasty Death Valley Driver on the floor. He then clotheslines Evans over the barricade.
Theory hoists Penta on his shoulder. Bron nails him with a flying bulldog off the top rope a la the Steiner Brothers. Penta kicks out though!
Oba Femi’s music plays!
Reed races to cut Femi off at the entrance way. Femi floors Reed and then slams Reed off the stage through some covered crap below. Penta dives on Bron Breakker on the floor. Mexican Destroyer and an OG Cutter on Theory…and we have new champs.
Winners: ….and new tag team champions, Penta and Je’Von Evans.
Rating: 7.5 / 10
Let’s be honest here, the Crown Jewel titles mean nothing to anyone and neither do these matches, so let’s file the rest of the card under…Who $@#%*&&%$# Cares??..but with that in mind.
Chelsea Green vs. Liv Morgan – Women’s Crown Jewel Championship Match
Someone shouts…I love you, Liv Morgan! as Morgan stomps Green in a corner. Morgan is having her way with Green beating her from pillar to post so you know Green will make a big comeback.
A Code Breaker almost pins Green. Morgan whips Green into a steel post. Morgan with another two count after a bulldog of sorts from the top rope. Three Amigos on Green. Green still hasn’t done much of anything. Morgan stomps on Green then loses her balance and stumbles. Morgan takes too much time climbing to the top rope. Green punches her in the face. A superplex on Morgan from the second rope.
Green leaps off the top rope. Morgan catches her in another Code Breaker. Morgan kicks out. Morgan counters the Rough Rider by just slamming Green to the mat. Green hits it moments later for a two count. Morgan hits yet ANOTHER Code Break twisting Green into a half-crab. Green makes it to the ropes to break the hold.
Morgan leaps off the top rope and gets super kicked by Green. Green dives on Morgan on the floor twice and then lands a missile drop kick. Green drops Morgan with the Unprettier but Morgan puts her foot on the ropes.
Green climbs to the top rope. Roxanne Perez and Raquel Rodriguez distract Green so that Morgan can push her off the top rope. She tumbles to the floor. Morgan is so confident though she sends both women to the back. Back in the ring, Green blocks Oblivion and stack her up for the win. Why portray Green as such a clod? I don’t get it.
Winner: Chelsea Green
Rating: 4 / 10
As Green is celebrating Morgan attacks her from behind calling her a joke. Tiffany Stratton nails Morgan from behind with the Money in the Bank briefcase.
They do that nonsense again where Stratton WANTS to cash-in, the official makes sure she is certain and they stall and stall and stall until Roxanne Perez and Raquel Rodriguez can return to the ring. Green punches Perez off the apron. She falls onto Rodriguez.
Stratton brains Green with the briefcase as she turns around.
“I am going to cash in on Chelsea Green!” says Stratton to the official.
Chelsea Green (c) versus Tiffany Stratton – WWE Women’s Championship Match
Stratton hits the Prettiest Moonsault Ever and pins Green. Green is left crying in the ring.
Winner: …and new WWE Women’s Champion, Tiffany Stratton.
Rating: N/A
Roman Reigns vs. Sami Zayn – Men’s Crown Jewel Championship Match
Reigns ends up Superman Punching the official. Sami hits the Exploder Suplex. A Helluvah Kick. Sami covers but there is no official. Charles Robinson arrives. Reigns kicks out. Sami delivers a Helluvah Kick to Charles Robinson. Sami grabs the title belt. He tries to hit Reigns but gets Superman Punched and Speared. Zayn kicks out.
“I respect the effort but I am the Tribal Chief. It is going to take more to beat me. This is the main event right here!” Reigns shouts in his face.
Reigns spears Zayn twice and pins him.
After the match, Zayn offers his hand. He believes he deserves respect. Roman pushes the hand away and hugs Zayn.
Winner: Roman Reigns
Rating: 8.5 / 10
Overall Event Rating: 7 / 10
