With less than a week to go, everyone is gearing up for SummerSlam. Well, everyone but Drew McIntyre, we suppose.
Something else has happened since the last episode of WWE Raw as well: the death of Hulk Hogan. Since this is the first Monday night show since his passing, this edition begins with the entire roster standing on stage as Triple H introduces a 10-bell salute for “the one, the only, the immortal Hulk Hogan.” There’s a video package as well, with the No. 1 song in the country, “Ordinary,” playing over it.
The show will go one, as it always does, so follow along with us as we see what Raw has in store for us tonight.
Paul Heyman interrupts last Yeet before SummerSlam
Jey Uso is still over, just in case you had any doubts. So is Paul Heyman, though he of course draws heat and not yeets.
That’s relevant because Heyman comes out before Uso can even say anything. Jey seems none too happy to see Paul join him in the ring, so the former Wiseman decides to back out to the aisle. Heyman professes his disbelief over Uso siding with Roman Reigns for the sake of family, because in his words, “family is always going to let you down.”
Heyman is into doing prophecies now and not spoilers, for those keeping track. He manages to diss parents in general, Santa Claus, Rikishi and Reigns all in one promo before driving home the point: He loves Jey like family, even though that might not be worth what Uso thinks it does.
Uso’s passionate response notes that he didn’t win the world championship for family, he did it for himself. He adds that whatever happens to Heyman’s current “family” tonight or at SummerSlam is on him. Four letters, one word.
AJ Styles and Kabuki Warriors vs. The Judgment Day (Dominik Mysterio, Raquel Rodriguez and Roxanne Perez)
A couple things to note right off the bat. First, it’s great to see Styles in the ring since most of his recent story is about how the guy he is feuding with has been doing everything possible not to wrestle him. The second is that Michael Cole uses the early portion of this match to talk about El Grande Americano, one of his favorite topics.
The women do most of the work here, but the crowd is pretty hyped to see if Styles can get one over on Dominik Mysterio before they meet this weekend. And he does, pinning Dirty Dom with a Phenomenal Forearm.
Winners: AJ Styles and Kabuki Warriors by pinfall
Earlier today, Jackie Redmond got a word with Sheamus about his victory over Rusev. For some reason, Grayson Waller wants to pick a fight with Sheamus, thinking, perhaps incorrectly, that The New Day has his back.
Sheamus vs. Grayson Waller
It’s hard to imagine this going anything but badly for Waller unless The New Day really does come to his aid. It’s just hard to see why they would since Sheamus doesn’t currently have any running buddies.
Oh wait, I forgot about Rusev. He arrives too late to prevent Waller from taking the L, but he does do a great job at getting some payback on Sheamus, smashing him with the shillelagh and then putting him in the Accolade until referees can convince him that enough’s enough.
Winner: Sheamus by pinfall (though not really a winner afterward)
Jackie speaks with Naomi, who immediately takes exception to her line of questioning. She suggest she isn’t passive aggressive but “aggressive aggressive,” saying she will take everyone out tonight and prove “all the haters” wrong when she emerges from SummerSlam still the champion.
Tributes to Hogan are shown from a number of wrestlers and other WWE personalities.
In the back, Heyman does his best to play some motivational cards on Bronson Reed. Also interesting is that Bron Breakker clearly has appointed himself leader of their little nameless group with Seth Rollins out of commission. Even Heyman looks a little confused/surprised once Reed leaves and Breakker reveals “I have a plan.”
Lyra Valkyria has read the Becky Lynch script
Referencing her platform sneakers, Lyra tells the fans she has her “Becky stompers” on. The gist of her promo is that while she knows all too well what Becky Lynch is capable of, the same can’t be said in return.
Lynch’s music hits to reveal The Man trying to sneak in from the opposite side of the ring with a kendo stick, but Valkyria must have watched wrestling before and is ready. Lynch ends up taking a bunch of kendo stick shots before retreating up the aisle.
A pre-recorded interview shows Sami Zayn telling Corey Graves that he hopes to be done with Karrion Kross once and for all at SummerSlam. Yet Graves shows that discretion is the better part of valor when Kross arrives and commandeers the interview. Kross says he thought he would attack Zayn, but he wants Sami to be OK for the match at SummerSlam. Karrion says he only wants to get Sami to admit he’s like everyone else, at which point he will go away and Zayn can pursue the world title he wants.
An unimpressed Sami doesn’t think his foe is that smart, but he does promise he will say whatever Karrion wants him to if he loses at SummerSlam. But if Zayn wins, he wants Kross to admit he was wrong. This is a very level-minded stipulation fellas, well done.
A bummed out Bayley is asked by Redmond about missing SummerSlam having blown all her recent opportunities. “For the first time in my career, I’m at a loss for words.” Redmond and Cole think Bayley looks lost.
Naomi, Chelsea Green and the Secret Hervice vs. Iyo Sky, Stephanie Vaquer, Nikki Bella and Rhea Ripley
My son brings up a good point: Even though Iyo and Rhea will soon be competing against each other in the same title match, there isn’t the same “can they coexist” energy because they tend to be pretty sportsmanlike with each other most of the time. Of course Naomi is in this match too, so maybe that doesn’t apply.
Oh and Vaquer has a vested future interest in all of this as well, but really she is just so freaking fun to watch in the ring that it would be fine even if she did not. The match is wisely laid out to give her a long spotlight sequence, and then she gets the three count as well.
Winners: Iyo Sky, Stephanie Vaquer, Nikki Bella and Rhea Ripley by pinfall
Finn Balor tries to keep the spirits of his Judgment Day teammates up, pointing out that the group has withstood roster changes and defeats before. The tag team champs head out for their title defense while Roxanne offers to play video games with Dom.
Elsewhere, the face side of the eight-woman tag match celebrates, but only until Rhea and Iyo exchange some words. It’s still pretty friendly as rivalries go, however, so I’m not changing anything I’ve said before.
The LWO (Cruz Del Toro and Joaquin Wilde) vs. The Judgment Day (Finn Balor vs. JD McDonagh) (c) – World Tag Team Championship Match
It’s great to see the LWO duo get a title shot, even though it seems like a long shot that they’ll win gold here. It’s also likely too early to have Balor and McDonagh drop the titles anyway.
What this match does do is give the LWO a platform to show off their aerial skills. But things het a little overbooked once El Grande Americano shows up and is neutralized by Dragon Lee. Then a smaller dude comes out in a similar but not quite the same mask as Grande and costs the LWO the match. OK.
Winners … and still World Tag Team Champions: The Judgment Day by pinfall
Gunther gets the last word … j/k, CM Punk does
A huge “CM Punk” chant greets the Ring General, coming from pretty much everyone except the one person in the crowd holding a “Gunther’s only fan” sign. Gunther boasts about how he beat Punk on the mic last week, which in turn only brings a “you tapped out” chant.
“Most importantly, I made CM Punk shut the hell up,” he says before “Cult of Personality” hits. Punk heads to the ring calmly, skipping his usual theatrics and Ben Grimm’s catchphrase and walking down with his hands behind his back, almost like he’s pondering what to say.
Punk takes exception to the idea that Gunther left him speechless, saying he was more dumbfounded. He claims what happened is that he realized he didn’t want to be World Heavyweight Champion … he needs to be World Heavyweight Champion. He needs it like he needs air to breathe, like he needs his heart to pump blood and like the Detroit Red Wings need a 12th Stanley Cup. He may have been looking directly into my soul when he said that last one, not sure.
He also clarifies that he has earned the right to call himself the Best in the World, and he won’t let Gunther shut him up either. “There’s levels to this kid,” Punk says, insisting that Gunther isn’t on his level but will at least be able to say he shared the ring with the Best in the World.
There’s a three-hour countdown show for SummerSlam. Hard to imagine anyone will watch all of that, just saying.
A clip is shown of Redmond talking to Jelly Roll about Logan Paul, who maybe might have to have a solo match if McIntyre is stuck in the UK?
Jey Uso vs. Bronson Reed
It must be super fun to be Heyman and just stand with the MITB briefcase with a maniacal look in his eyes while watching from ringside for matches like this. Reed is ruling things early, with Uso unable to come to terms with his raw power.
We’ll never know if Uso could find a way to cope with it, because Breakker ends up attacking Jey and the match is over. The fight, however, is not, because here comes Reigns. He can’t quite lift Reed onto his shoulders, but he’s still able to get Big Bronson out of the ring, and Breakker ends up eating a superkick/Superman Punch combo meal. Yum.
We aren’t done, though, as the heels recover to hit tandem moves on our heroes out on the floor. Jey is dragged into the ring and laid out with a Breakker spear. A Tsunami follows, and when Bron sees Roman stirring again, he does his crazy apron jump to knock the OTC over the announce table. Reigns also suffers through a Tsunami, and WWE really got the bad guys looking great here … especially when Bron sizes up the chance to run and spear both Reigns and Uso through the barricade at the same time.
Well that’s a good way to make the heels look good before your second-biggest PLE of the year! Enjoy SummerSlam, everyone, and we will see you next week.
