He tapped out! You guys, Gunther tapped out!! I cried, screamed and laughed at the same time when Jey Uso became the new World Heavyweight Champion at WrestleMania 41 on Saturday. I knew he was going to win. I didn’t doubt him for a second. The only thing I wasn’t sure about was the entrance since last year was terrible. Lil Wayne will be remembered in recent memory of that horrible performance to open for Uso during his match against Jimmy. I think about it in the back of my head to give me a good giggle. This year’s entrance was an elevation.

And speaking of giggles, Seth Rollins teaming with Paul Heyman was just what I needed for Roman and Punk’s egos to calm the hell down. I genuinely didn’t see it coming, but I was happy for it. No one expected that, and it was genius. I was even smiling when Dominik Mysterio won the Intercontinental Championship. I don’t hate Dom as easily as other people do, if anything, I understand him quite well. As long as Breakker doesn’t have the belt, I can sleep good. The way he won it in the first place off of Jey never sat right with me because it was faulty and undeserved. This was comeuppance.

I know this may seem like an odd opinion, but I wasn’t sad when Cody Rhodes lost to John Cena. I believed Cena when he said that Rhodes was already a beaten man, which resulted in him getting to hold Championships 17-times. He passed Rick Flair, and that’s no small feat. If anyone was going to do it, I knew it was going to be John. But now, he has Randy Orton to deal with.

Following one of the biggest WrestleMania in recent memory, our new Undisputed Champion John Cena marched to the ring and got our new ring announcer, Mark Nash, to read something he wrote on a piece of paper the proper way. Apparently, his announcement skills were unsatisfactory to the Champion. Anyway, before Cena could speak, Randy Orton arrived on the scene after that RKO this past Monday.

Orton realized that he’s known Cena for 25 years as the guy, whose mantra was hustle, loyalty and respect, changed over the past couple of months. He reckoned there’s a void inside John that needs fulfillment. Randy amazingly said that Cena helped multiple children set goals and accomplished them because of John’s encouraging words. He’s groundbreaking. One of the sweetest men I’ve ever come across. Randy came to the conclusion that he knows how to fill that void… “John, you need to have some damn kids.”

Well… this felt slightly, maybe, somewhat accurate… because that’s what Nikki Bella wanted. Anyway, although that could be the reason, I don’t think that’s the only way for Cena to be a better person. Fatherhood. As a response to that, it made John upset, as it should, since that’s insensitively wrong. Cena surprised me when he said he spent the last 25 years raising other people’s children as the face of it all, being uncapable of having his own.

John said he was going to ruin wrestling after becoming a 17-time Champion, Randy nailed him by letting him that he won’t over his dead body. This sport provided for him and his loved ones since entering the circle, so fat chance Orton was going to have it implode. Regardless of that, Cena told Randy to shut up. His desire is to have Randy frozen at 14-time Champion and have his legacy erased. Oof… That was something, so Orton challenged Cena for the title to happen at that very moment.

John refused, yet he acknowledged the match should happen at Backlash. Warning Orton that when he fails, he’ll have no more excuses as he throws the Championship at the Viper and pounced on him. What John didn’t expect was that RKO to stun him.

Nathan Frazer & Axiom vs. Los Garza – Tag Team match 

Axiom is finally on the blue brand just after Nathan Frazer made his debut not too long ago. Down at NXT, they were a delight to witness, and now, against Los Garza, they’re just as great as they double team on Humberto and Angel. Los Garza haven’t been able to breathe since entering the ring. A slingblade from Nathan to Humberto stunned the man, plus that springboard Moonsault turned into an elbow to the gut was incredible.

Los Garza were able to get some momentum as they climb to the top and drop Nathan on the mat. Oof, that landing. Axiom tried to get back inside, but Angel knocked him out as Humberto delivered an unsuccessful Moonsault due to Axiom bulldozing his opponents. Frazer secretly tagged his partner just as Axiom performed an amazing Spanish Fly to pave the way for Frazer to finish the job with a Phoenix Splash.

Winners: Nathan Frazer & Axiom

After her triumph at WrestleMania, Tiffany Stratton naturally talked about it being a difficult match, but one she managed to prevail. And since we’re talking about titles, that caught Jade Cargill’s ear. A Championship match was sanctioned and ultimately ruined once Naomi swooped in to confront Cargill. As if business with the former Miss Glow was finished… nice try. When Stratton was able to reassess what happened, Naomi left the ring to allow Nia Jax from having her go at Tiffy.

The Samoan Dynasty was on fire this past weekend, Jacob Fatu won the US Championship off of LA Knight, that only upset the former champ as he marched to the ring for a rematch. Drew McIntyre showed up later to regal the audience with his plan to challenge John only for Randy to jump the line. Since Cena changed, and Drew considered him a punk now, he preferred to fight Fatu instead. Before chaos can ensue, Nick Aldis made the decision to officiate a number one contender’s match for the US title between Knight and McIntyre.

I think Drew was in the mist of winning with a Claymore to LA Knight, but the results of Saturday, Damian Priest still wanted to inflict more punishment on the Scotsman. Damian delivered a South of Haven to Drew through the commentary desk. Knight got angry that Priest ruined his match, and while they’re arguing, Jacob Fatu leaped after them.

Chelsea Green (c) vs. Zelina Vega – Women’s US Championship match

When Chelsea was able to send Zelina crashing against the floor, she distracted the official long enough for her “secret service” Niven and Fyre, to do some damage. Regardless of that, Vega came back twice as hard with a running knee to Green’s chest. She nearly won after that Meteora. Outside, Alba tried to get involved, Zelina smacked her, but she couldn’t protect herself from Chelsea’s step-up enziguri to the head. Looking for the I’m Prettier, Zelina countered with a backstabber. She was on a roll, which angered Piper and Alba. The referee saw they’re intrusion and kicked them out. Yay! Another yay to that, Zelina shocked Chelsea with a winning Code Red.

Winner: Zelina Vega

I’m still confused at the… collaboration between Hayes and Miz, so much so that Miz got Carmelo a chain neckless with Andre the Giant’s face on it. It’s huge! Miz spared no expenses, he said. Damn. Anyway, I can’t say I don’t agree with Miz on his opinion on people coming out of nowhere and getting opportunities over him when he’s beaten Orton before. Joe Hendry kind of scares me. With that said and done, the whole point of Miz coming out here, someone new presented himself. Welcome to SmackDown, Aleister Black.

The Street Profits (c) vs. DIY vs. Motor City Machine Guns – TLC Tag Team Championship match

While both the Profits and the Machine Guns were momentarily disposed of, DIY were bringing in the first ladder of the match… rather trying to since Shelley and Sabin prevented them from doing so. They were doing just fine as Sabin suicide dived after DIY only to collide with a chair to the face. Dawkins bulldozed through Ciampa, then forced a collision with Johnny’s head against the post.

Later on, Angelo had a clearing, so he started to climb the ladder only to be interrupted by the Machine Guns. Shelley delivered a dragon corkscrew to Dawkins’ leg through the ladder he set up. Ouch and nasty. “That’s how you shred an ACL.” said Barrett. Gargano came in and was dismantled, then Tommaso followed suit. Ford hasn’t been able to get too much of a footing, so Angelo provided the assistance.

Shelley and Sabin had Angelo tied up in the corner. They utilized a chair as Alex delivered a basement slide kick to the face of Dawkins. That knocked his ass out. You could see that the Profits’ neutralization was essential. DIY added to that. Nevertheless, Montez squashed them all with a body dive.

From an audacious height, Johnny flatlined Montez. And just at the last moment, Dawkins dragged Ciampa away from their Championships. Madness erupted all over the ring like Ciampa getting caught on the ropes as the ladder went down due to Angelo. Sabin managed to avoid a harsher fate. DIY’s assault were aimed at the Machine Guns’ necks. Angelo’s spine almost got mangled if it weren’t for Ford saving him in time. As payback, Johnny collided with his own chair set up.

Dawkins was at the mercy of Sabin as his opponent came crashing down on him through the table. Ford continued his high flying streak when he plummeted onto Ciampa through another table. Even the usage of a prosthetic leg from a very enthusiastic fan came into play. A ladder snapped due to Ciampa’s White Noise performance to Montez. Wow. Elsewhere, Motor City took out Gargano with a Skull and Bone though another table in front of the commentary desk.

What’s more is that Dawkins delivered a mid-air spear to Ciampa, who was hanging onto the titles after the ladder was removed from under him by Shelley and Sabin. These guys are going home in dire pain tonight. Dear God… Like a jungle cat, Ford went head-to-head with Sabin and Gargano, almost didn’t make it, but he was able to remove the obstacles and grab their titles.

Winners: The Street Profits

 

TOP PHOTO: Vega holding her first singles title. Courtesy of WWE