The two must-see moments are the only things I would bother watching. Some decent action, but nothing spectacular. That finish to the main event was a waste of time.

Must-see moments:

John Cena-Cody Rhodes

This is three weeks of stellar mic work from these two. You must see the whole segment to understand how great this was. Both men took jabs that you would not think were allowed on a WWE broadcast. Great delivery. This may have been Cody’s best promo ever.

Gunther vs. Jimmy Uso

There was not much to the match, but that was a savage angle afterwards. The amount of blood smeared all over his body and Jimmy’s head was disgusting. This was an old school angle in the best way possible.

Quick Results:

  1. The New Day defeated New Catch Republic
  2. Gunther defeated Jimmy Uso
  3. The Judgement Day defeated Bron Breakker and Penta
  4. Iyo Sky and Rhea Ripley went to a Double DQ

Chronological recap:

John Cena was out first. Before his music even came on, the crowd was chanting he sucks. Before he got a word out, Cody Rhodes’s music interrupted.

Cody stopped Cena from speaking. He began predicting what Cena would use to insult Cody. Would it be his hideous neck tattoo? Or his lisp? How about his time as Stardust?

Rhodes then asked Cena to explain why he has changed. John said he was not going to “cook” Cody, he was going to “bury” him. Cena said people have told him he buries other talent. He said he does not bury talent; he buries mediocrity.

Cena said he has been so great, that WWE could give his title to his “chauffeur” aka Cody. He claims Cody rode his coattails and stole ideas from him. John called Cody the “pied piper.” He said he has people fooled with his entrance music and the flashiness. He repeatedly called Cody mediocre.

Cena called Cody a “nepo baby.” He said Cody’s tattoo exposes him for who he really is. Just a fan. Yikes.

John Cena invited Cody to buy a toy belt after WrestleMania, because the “real world champion” is taking the real thing home with him.

Cody tells Cena that the fans chose him (Cody), but some guy “who we don’t talk about anymore” chose Cena. Oh wow. Cody called Cena a company guy. He said people fear Cena on the mic, but not him. He said he knows Cena “has more dick on the mic than in his jorts.”

There were so many great lines here, I cannot do them justice. One that you will see replayed is Cena telling Cody he “makes empires for billionaires, while you just steal from their kids.”

Cena was about to leave the ring, when Cody reminded him that the crowds used to chant “you can’t wrestle” at John. Cena tried to hit Cody, but Rhodes hit the crossroads instead.

The New Day vs. New Catch Republic

The New Catch Republic were back together. Presumably because they are in Europe.

Decent action here. The New Day won with Day Break.

Winner: The New Day

Cathy Kelley interviewed New Day in the aisle. They said they are owed a title match. The War Raiders confronted them in the aisles. And that was it.

Jimmy Uso was in the back. Jimmy told Jey not to come to ringside. I have no idea why. Jimmy said he was going to show Jey that Gunther is beatable.

Gunther vs. Jimmy Uso

Gunther got Jimmy at ringside early in the match. He chopped him repeatedly and it sounded like a shotgun blast. Gunther went for a powerbomb, but Jimmy got out of it. Uso hit a dive. Every time he or Jey do a dive I cringe now.

Jimmy hit a massive superplex then the splash for a near fall. Uso tried to hit Gunther with a move off the top rope, but Gunther hit one of those shotgun chops as he was coming down.

Gunther hit a powerbomb and had Jimmy pinned but pulled him up before the three count. Gunther taunted Jimmy and hit a clothesline, but he pulled Jimmy up before three again. Finally, Gunther put the sleeper on Jimmy and choked him out.

Winner: Gunther

Gunther was not done. He started to leave but went back to put the sleeper back on Jimmy. Jey came out for the save. He chased Gunther into the crowd.

Jey was helping Jimmy to the back when Gunther attacked both from behind. Officials stopped Gunther from powerbombing Jey on the ring steps. Instead, he dropped an official on the ring steps. He got zip ties out and zip tied Jey to the ropes.

Instead of beating Jey, Gunther went after Jimmy and made Jey watch. Gunther taunted Jey while he was tied in the ropes. Jimmy tried to get back in, but Gunther hit him with the title belt. Jimmy came up bleeding. Gunther beat Jimmy by punching his face and wiped Jimmy’s blood on his chest. He acted like he was tasting Jimmy’s blood, which was a little much. Gunther choked out Jimmy again with Jimmy’s blood smeared all over him.

The Judgement Day was in the back with their passive aggressive nonsense. Old. Incredibly old.

The Judgement Day vs. Bron Breakker and Penta

Wade Barrett mentioned that Rey Fenix debuts on Friday. They talked about Fenix being Penta’s brother and that they were known as Luchas Bros. They had a convoluted spot where Penta went for a top rope Mexican Destroyer, but Dom grabbed his leg. He then held him against the ropes while Finn stood there looking for an awkward pause. Then Bron went for a spear and hit Penta instead of Finn. Awkward.

Balor hit his stomp on Penta for the win. That was not great.

Winner: The Judgement Day

Chad Gable tried to get a match for next week, but Adam Pearce said he was booking El Grande Americano instead. Gable ran into Alpha Academy and called them idiots. Maxxine then told Pearce that she and Natalya had some ideas for him. They cut away before she said what the ideas were.

Cathy Kelley was in the back with Bron. Penta confronted him and they had to be separated.

AJ Styles was in the ring. Can we stop giving him a mic? He called out Logan Paul. Logan came out to thunderous boos.

Logan told us how rich and famous he was. No, seriously. He said that. He clearly had nothing to talk about. They traded barbs with each other and went on and on. AJ Styles messed up the “don’t let your mouth write a check…” line. Paul finally challenged AJ to a match at WrestleMania and thankfully ended this thing.

Lyra Valkyria was in the back with Jackie Redmond. Lyra said she is facing Bayley next week.

Rhea Ripley vs. Iyo Sky –Women’s Title

There were a couple of spots where Rhea pretended she thought Bianca counted slow. She was starting to get annoying with it. Decent action, but what a cheap ending. Both competitors knocked Bianca down accidentally during the match. Finally, Bianca disqualified both after Iyo hit her with a drop kick. Lame.

Winner: Double DQ

Rhea beat up both women after the match. This did nothing for me. I do not want to see a three way at WrestleMania if that is where they are going.