Welcome to WWE Smackdown, everyone. Shelby is away on a special assignment to Parts Unknown, so I will be your guest recapper for the night. We’ll see if Tiffany Stratton can hold onto the title against Bayley, Solo Sikoa makes his return after losing to Roman Reigns on Raw is Netflix, and the Motor City Machine Guns face Los Garza for a number one shot at the WWE Smackdown tag team titles.  Plus we will see the return of Rey Mysterio in his hometown of San Diego.

So, let’s get through these next two hours of wrestling…

(It’s three)

What?

(It’s three hours, Tommy.)

Why didn’t someone tell me that?!

(I assumed you knew.)

Someone shoulda told me!!

(Were you sipping the Genius Juice™ when that was announced?)

Point taken.  I rescind my earlier remarks.

We are coming to you from the Pechanga Arena in San Diego, CA. Wade Barrett and Joe Tessitore have the call (and you’d think there’d be room for a third on commentary, but I guess WWE thinks that’d be a grave mistake. Heaven forbid I talk about it on social media).

*ahem*

Anywhoosles, they walk out to commentary and introduce none other than Rey Mysterio to a major pop. As Mysterio basks in the cheers, he gets the mic and says, “Bienvenidos, and welcome to Smackhome. This is the home of the 619.”  After thanking the city and his family, he declares himself for the Royal Rumble. He reminds us of what he achieved as he outlasted 28 competitors in the last Rumble and became WWE champion at Wrestlemania in 2006, and he did it for someone we all know very well, prompting “Eddie” chants. He acknowledges the completion is heavy this year.

Out comes Kevin Owens with a shirt that reads, “The Canadian Dream. Son of a Security Systems Technician” (heh) to massive boos. He gets on the mic and claims that he respects Mysterio and his accomplishments, but he also has a pretty good resume.  Owens also claims he is the rightful champ, holding the original Eagle title belt. He decides he needs to face Mysterio, and tells him that once he beats Rhodes at this Royal Rumble he wants to have that dream match with the lucha star at Wrestlemania. Mysterio responds that he loves a challenge but clarifies that Owens ain’t a champ. He doesn’t dismiss the challenge entirely and does not want him to get it twisted but says he would love to face him down the road when it happens. Owens yells at him that he is a champ, and Mysterio is all, “tranquilo.” He even notes that Owens’ behavior reminds him of Dominic, and that’s when he swings at him and gets tripped to the middle ropes.  Before Mysterio can dial up the 619, Owens beats a retreat.

Let this be a lesson, kids:  if your dad dogs your bad behavior to the point where another man wants ta fight you, you should look deep in the mirror and correct some things.

Backstage, Bianca Belair and Naomi get focused on their next match and Naomi suggests she wrap up her braid before they face their next opponents.  Belair accommodates, and it looks nice.

Meanwhile, Smackdown GM Nick Aldis confabs with Mysterio and gives him a match with Owens tonight. Cody Rhodes comes out and tells Mysterio that he wanted to help but wasn’t medically cleared. Mysterio says to the Undisputed champ it’s coll and that he’s got it.   After he heads out stage left, Rhodes gives Aldis the good word that he has a clean bill of health from the doctors.  Aldis is glad to hear that and givesRhodes an addendum to sign before their match at the Royal Rumble. Rhodes will sign it when Owens does, and Aldis sighs.

Let’s head back to the ring, where your First Match of the Night is…

Naomi and Bianca Belair vs. Candace LeRae and Nia Jax

There is a “Squash her, Nia” sign in the crowd, and that’s pretty much all the enthusiasm I have for this match.  Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of talent in that ring, but Jax is just…there.  Typically (if ya follow me, and ya should), I bust out a Haiku in Review™.  In this case, this deserves a Lucid Luchador Limerick™:

*Ahem*

Jax and LeRae keep Belair at bay,

By pulling and tugging her braid to her dismay.

A hot tag to Naomi brings in the Glow

As she goes after them en Fuego,

And a Bubba Bomb to LeRae ends this fray.

Your Winners via Pinfall:  Bianca Belair and Naomi

We find out that they will face Jakara and Lash Legend on NXT because…eh, why not?

Byron Saxon spoke earlier with Bayley on facing Stratton and what it means to her to try and reclaim the WWE Women’s title. She talks about her accomplishments, including winning the title at WrestleMania XL, but felt her reign was cut short by Stratton.  This is a big deal for her and wants to prove she’s still at the top of her game.

I gotta say, as a San Francisco 49ers fan, big props to Bayley for the George Kittle letterman vest.

Even Kittle approves.

Michin and B-Fab talk until Piper Niven clears Chelsea Green enters the room and proclaims she is a successful WWE Women’s US champ. Michin is ready to throw down, but B-Fab steps up get in her face.  Niven gets in the way, and that’s where B-Fab gets the idea to talk to Aldis about a match later tonight.  She also mentions after she beats Niven, she’s coming after Green’s title. After she and Michin leave, Green suggests Niven neutralize her before that can happen.

Jimmy Uso cuts a promo as he heads from gorilla going toward the ring.

So the next match is between…

Jimmy Uso vs. Carmelo Hayes

Hayes walks to the ring and gets on the mic and says to Jimmy that he’s living in Jey’s and Roman Reigns’ shadow.  He wants to know why he’s takin’ shots at him from the bench. He ends by advising Jimmy to lace up ’cause, “Melo don’t miss.”

Neither does Uso as he brings him to the ring the hard way, puts on Hayes’ sunglasses, and sends him flying outside.  This is favoring Uso from the start as he catches Hayes with a crack to the jaw and a suplex on the apron.  Uso lands with a dive to the outside and then…

Ads (Ugh!!!  If you are new to my recaps, I detest ads in the MIDDLE of a match.  I care less if they happen AFTER, get annoyed more at DURING a ring entrance, and will never understand why it is necessary to do it AS THE ACTION HAPPENS!!)

Rant aside, we come back and Hayes is in control (Double Ugh!!!) as Uso is in a daze and tries to get a comeback to no avail.  Hayes has some innovative offense like a springboard reverse DDT for a near-fall. Uso comes back with a pop-up Samoan drop that gets a two count.  He goes to the top for a Superfly splash and gets caught with a codebreaker by Hayes for a close two-count.  He is frustrated and goes up for a high-risk maneuver and ‘Melo misses. Uso connects with a superkick for a count of two, and now both men kick into another gear, as Uso nails him with a spear.  Once again, he goes to the high-rent district, until Jacob Fatu stares him down.  Uso eyes him unaware that Tama Tanga is behind him and pushes him off the top.  The ref sees this and calls it, so…

Your Winner via Disqualification:  Jimmy Uso

(Author’s Note:  I know that WWE decreed this a “No Contest,” but please know they are wrong.  Alright?)

After the match, Fatu and Tanga manhandle Jimmy. Hayes likes this and applauds their efforts until Fatu drops him like third-period French, and they go back to the brutalizing of Jimmy Uso.

That leads to the return of Solo Sikoa, and San Diego makes their feelings known about the pretend Tribal Chief.

After an ad break (sigh), Sikoa attempts to speak.  After multiple boos, he drops the mic, takes off the red jacket, and walks off through the crowd. Fatu looks on and he and Tanga stare at each other in disbelief. Fatu grabs the mic and gives San Diego a piece of his mind, ending with:  “I’m just getting started!”

Then the music hits and LA Knight attacks from behind, but soon the numbers catch up. More music hits and Braun Strowman comes out, and Tanga launches himself at the Monster Among Men and gets caught by the big man.  He tosses Tanga aside and steps into the ring as he and Fatu stare down at each other.  Before we can get Universal Studios to sign off on “Samoan Werewolf Versus Monster Among Men™”, Tanga pulls him out, so that match will have to happen later. 

Or sooner (Spoilers).

As Angel and Berto prep for their tag match, Santos Escobar talks to them about respect.  He says the only way they will get respect is if they take it tonight from the Motor City Machine Guns.  They agree and that leads to your next match, which is a number one contender match for the WWE Smackdown tag titles between the…

Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley) vs. Los Garza (Angel and Berto, with Elektra López)

All four men are delivering cruiserweight/lucha libre goodness through the first part of the match and then…

Ads (Sighh!!)

We come back and Sabin is a Machine Gun with no bullets in his clip and that leaves him in Peril as Los Garza puts him through the wringer, but can’t close the deal and “take the respect.”  There is miscommunication between Angel and Berto.  A hot tag to Shelley makes him a Machine Gun with a full clip and he is En Fuego.  He and Sabin isolate Berto and give him double dragon screw leg whips and kicks to his knees to cover for a two count.  Shelley cinches him in a Figure Four (Woo!) and Sabin does the same to Angel (Stereo WOO!!).

Berto grabs the bottom ropes to break the submission, and as they go back at it again, Berto shoves Shelley to the corner and nails a deadlift powerbomb for a count of two.  A tag to Angel as he and Berto stack up the Guns like cordwood.  Berto nails a springboard enzugiri as Angel comes down with a double powerbomb on both men but still gets a near-fall.  Afterward, Shelley assists Sabin with the ropes as he hits a suicida on Los Garza.  They isolate Berto for the Skull and Bones finisher until Pretty Deadly comes out for the interference while the ref’s back is turned.  Berto gets a roll-up and has to go to the ref to stop dressing down López.  The Guns reset and deliver the Skull and Bones to end it.

Your Winners via Pinfall:  The Motor City Machine Guns

Aldis is backstage with Owens and gives him the addendum. Owens ain’t signing it either, as he has a match to prepare with Mysterio.

Heavy is the head that has to be the GM.

But let’s go back to the ring as the next match is with…

Piper Niven (with Chelsea Green) vs. B-Fab

This is a classic powerhouse (Niven) versus scrappy underdog (Fab) match, and Fab is wearing down Green’s security. 

In short, this is the opposite of any match with Nia Jax because Niven is….y’know, talented and safe to work with.

Tell me when I’m telling lies.

In any case, Green gets in her grill and B-Fab lands a flying clothesline from the apron to the floor.  

Niven uses the opportunity to attack from behind and then deliver a pop-up Michinoku driver for the three count.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Piper Niven

She and Niven then add injury to insult to B-Fab until Michin comes out with a kendo stick. Niven grabs it but Michin kicks it into her as the heels run off to fight another day.

Tessitore takes a moment to talk about the passing of WWE Hall of Famer Bob Uecker but read the obituary here if you missed the news.

Saxton is backstage with Tiffany Stratton on her “Tiff-story.” She claims Bayley’s moment will die because right now, it’s “Tiffy Time.”

The Tale of the Tape is played on how matched up both women are and we’ll see that soon. But right now San Diego gets a treat as the next match is…

Rey Mysterio vs. Kevin Owens

Mysterio comes out in San Diego Padres-themed ring gear. He hugs his daughter, Aliyah, who’s at ringside. Also at ringside is Victoria. 

Owens comes out with a Mysterio Hall of Fame shirt and the Winged Eagle belt.  

Right away, Owens overpowers Mysterio to the corner and then backs off. They lock up again and KO gets tripped up by El Poder de Lucha Libre™, which is a match for Owens’ Power of Douchenozzlery™. Owens sends Mysterio out to the floor with a shoulder tackle and Mysterio brushes it off.  Fans in the arena let Owens know he is a “Culero” (ask your abuelo what that means.  I dare ya!)

They go to a Test of Strength and it leads to Mysterio’s Lucha Goodness™, until Owens stops it and sends him crashing to the mat followed by a running senton. He whips Mysterio to the turnbuckles and takes his sweet time hurting him.  Mysterio tries to flip him over but Owens catches him and nails him with a knee to his midsection.  The action spills out to the floor, and Mysterio with a huracanrana to the barricades, and he slides out for a splash and then…

Ads (Why, Dear Gods!!  Why???)

Back and Owens is hurting Mysterio and we see that during he nailed a somersault Senton to the Mystery King on the outside to the floor (which woulda been nice to see during a Picture In Puture, USA Network!!). 

Anyway, Mysterio throws Owens to the ring post and gets in a top rope sit-down splash to a signature wheelbarrow Bulldog for a two count.  He sends Owens to the middle ropes and as Mysterio attempts to dial up 619 he eats a superkick.  Owens whips him to the ropes and Mysterio comes back with a tornado DDT for another two count.  Then he goes up top and gets pushed off to crash to the mat.  Owens shimmies like Guerrero and lands a frog splash for a near fall.

Mysterio comes back with more Lucha Goodness™ into a sunset flip but can’t put away the Prizefighter of the WWE.  He tries a springboard crossbody and hits the shallow pool and Owens connects with a Stunner for a close two count.  Now Mysterio dials in the 619 and goes up to the top of the high-rent district, but Owens trips him up on the ropes. A pop-up powerbomb later ends it decisively.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Kevin Owens

After the match, Owens and Mysterio shake hands, and then he attempts to deliver the San Diego native a package piledriver until Rhodes runs in for the save. Now the backstage producers and local indie wrestl…err, the security comes out to break it up to no avail, as the brawl to the commentary as Barrett and Tessitore bail out of there

After the break, Aldis confronts Rhodes and his patience is at an end. Next week at Saturday Night Main Event, Aldis states the belts will be surrendered above the ring and they will sign the addendum in San Antonio, he also makes it clear the man to moderate this will be San Antonio’s favorite son:  “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels.

Also, we get plugs for that show as Jacob Fatu and Braun Strowman will square off next Saturday, along with LA Knight versus Tama Tanga.

Jonny Gargano and Tomaso Ciampa take Pretty Deadly (aka Breezango 2.0 Beta Release) to task in their bungling of the previous tag match. Apollo Crews then wanders in to give a (let’s be generous and say) pep talk on not following DIY.  They brush him off and that leads to Gargano with a beat down on Crews as he channels his inner Will Smith to keep their name out of his mouth. 

Damn, and Jada Pinkett wasn’t involved in this one.

There’s a video package of Charlotte Flair that is worth watching.

Let’s go back to the squared circle and we see Roxanne Perez is at ringside, but it is time for the Main Event for the…

WWE Women’s Championship: Tiffany Stratton (c) vs. Bayley

Lillian Garcia is out with the boxer-style intros, and my gods how I missed her.

The bell rings and the lock up and Bayley shoves Stratton to the corner.  They circle again, and Stratton returns the favor.  From there both women go hold for hold and they are evenly matched in this bout.  Neither one gets an advantage, but Tiffy shows off her gymnastics, and that allows Bayley to make her eat a clothesline that sends her out of the ring and we get…

Ads (Jesus Marimba!  At least AEW will show a match during Picture in Picture, you bloody Monkey in the Truck™!!)

We come back and Stratton is getting the worse of Bayley’s offense, and she goes for a sliding dropkick between the ring post and Stratton anticipates it.  She then drives her shoulder first to the post and from there, it’s Tiffy’s time to pick apart the former WWE Women’s champion.  Both women go back and forth unloading on each other and Bayley goes for a dive and meets Stratton’s forearm and then nails her with a hip attack as she is tangled up in the apron.  She uses the ropes for a springboard and Bayley catches her for a Bayley to Belly onto the floor.  During Picture in Picture (Thank you for getting the memo, Truck Monkeys™), they get back in the ring and Bayley turns up the heat and tries to put away the champ to no avail.  Stratton turns the tables, but she is just as unsuccessful.  She goes up top and nails a beautiful Swanton, following up with a powerbomb for one, two…kick out.  Stratton transitions to an armbar and Bayley reverses to a pin for a two count.  They return to the floor, and Stratton attempts a cartwheel Alabama Slam, which is blocked.  Bayley slams her on the commentary desk and suplexes her to the floor and then takes a moment to jaw at Perez at ringside.

Back in the squared circle, Bayley lands with an elbow drop for a two count and she quickly locks in a crossface but Stratton breaks the submission.  Then it’s Tiffy’s Time to hit her with a spinebuster to cover but no dice.  As we get to the endgame, Bayley connects with another Bayley to Belly suplex and Stratton gets out at the last second.  She goes for the Prettiest Moonsault Ever (PME)but Bayley is there to counter and reverse to a sunset flip in the corner to cover and Stratton gets a shoulder up at the last second.  Bayley attempts the Rose Plant, but Stratton gets the cartwheel Alabama Slam and delivers the PME for the one, two, and three.

Your Winner, And Still WWE Women’s Champion:  Tiffany Stratton

Stratton walks away with the belt held high as the show draws to a close on Tiffy’s Time.

 

Top Photo:  Bayley gets Tiffany Stratton in a crossface. Courtesy of WWE.

WWE SmackDown - 01/18/2025
3.5

Final Thoughts:

 

Three hours is too long to watch professional wrestling in general, no matter how much Genius Juice™ is consumed.

That said, at least this show went at a fast clip.  Stratton/Bayley delivered the goods, and Mysterio/Owens gave a great match that could have potential for more.  As for Sikoa walking off, this has a good base to build off for something more, and Fatu can hold his own on the stick.

The Motor City Machine guns are awesome, regardless of their opponents.

As for the rest…meh.

Until then, Shelby will be back next Friday!