The Colóns have certainly made a big splash since coming to the National Wrestling Alliance. However, they have yet to face some of the tougher tag teams in the division. Tonight, Primo and Epico will either cross to Valhalla or be cast into Tartarus as they get in the squared circle with The Immortals, Kratos and Odinson.
We’ll see how they fare in the main event as the show starts with EC3, fresh off his diabolical turn from Samhain 2, and he is set to square off against Josef Von Schmidt.
At least, that was gonna be the case.
It seems EC3 is not yet done controlling his narrative, and The OverMan gently taps the fourth wall, a la Deadpool, and offers his perspective on the match as well as his vision of what Exodus Pro is about.
Please to enjoy the exposition:
With that out of the way, we come to you from the PowerrrStation at the WEDU PBS Studios in Tampa, FL. Joe Galli, Billy Corgan, and Danny Dealz have the call. They throw it to Kyle Davis who is next to Ms. Starr. She is, for all intents and purposes, the emcee of the “Ella-bration” being held in the ring for Ella Envy. Starr directs the poor shlub in the ring to give Envy her flowers and she is less than demure during the whole segment.
Starr also says she will fight two opponents, and after Corgan goes, “We gotta take a break,” that leads to us seeing the First Match of the Night and it is…
Ella Envy vs. Nima and Shamara Moore
Both Nima and Moore are students of the local FTW promotion in the Sarasota area. As the match gets underway, the fans let it be known they felt Envy was, “Over-Rate-ted!*clap clap*Clap Clap Clap!* Envy is handily taking down both women and before I could get inspired to do a Haiku in Review™, Natalia Markova steps in to protect her proteges (since we learn she is a coach at FTW). She almost lays her hands on Envy, and that’s when Tiffany Nieves snuck in from behind and slammed her in the back with a steel chair. The ref for his part calls it, and that leads Kyle Davis to announce…
“This Match is Thrown Out Completely”
Dunno if that’s an official call, but…hey, why not?
Davis now has The Colóns and they discuss facing The Immortals later tonight. Primo is excited to be in the NWA and says the fans will witness the greatness of him and Epico. There’s no disrespect but he makes sure we know that The Immortals are not ready for them.
Bold words, or famous last words? You be the judge.
But let’s now head to the ring for tag team action for the…
NWA World Tag Team Championship: Mike Knox and Trevor Murdoch(c) (with Eric Smalls) vs. The Spectaculars (Slade and Rolando)
As Murdoch attempts to kick off the match, Ronaldo walks over to get in Smalls’ grill. Murdoch steps between the ropes to deal with that nonsense, and Slade takes advantage with a punt in the ropes to Murdoch’s nethers. He follows with a German suplex and Murdoch tries to get back in the fight. Rolando asks to be tagged in and El Jefe is ready, until Murdoch stares a hole at him, and it’s back to Slade. Now Knox and Murdoch utilize their tag team chemistry to prevent any Fear from Slade’s Gear, and Knox comes in with a splash to cover for a two-count. The big men run Slade through their cement mixing until Rolando tries to distract Knox this time. Slade attacks from behind and gives him a vertical suplex for a count of two and mounts with punches. Another tag back to Rolando, but decides against it as Knox is still lucid and back to Slade it is. Rolando jaws at the crowd, not knowing Knox just disposed of Slade and he brings El Jefe back in the ring the hard way and gives a military press slam. Slade is sent out of the ring again and Knox and Murdoch nail a double press slam to Rolando. One high/low later, and it is so long, Spectaculars.
Your Winners, And Still NWA World Tag Team Champions: Mike Knox and Trevor Murdoch
Kyle Davis is with Aron Stevens on where his headspace is these days. I’ll let him answer this one:
“Hello Kyle, and may I lie and say how wonderful it is to see you again. And the same goes for all of you, but I wouldn’t even waste my breath lying.
I am going to start this address by a quote from one of my intellectual heroes, Carl Jung. ‘I find myself both the murdered and the murderer. See the illusion of what’s right and what’s wrong, that’s relative to the individual. Therefore I apologize for nothing.’
I apologize for nothing. I’m not going to apologize for spitting fire every time I come on the mic. I am not going to apologize for Blunt Force Trauma being the best tag team in professional wrestling today, hands down. I’m not going to apologize for, within the rules, of course, doing everything I can to ensure that Blunt Force Trauma is the best tag team in professional wrestling. So therefore, going forward, when I do, I do not apologize, and I do not apologize for walking away from all of you right now.”
We get a Mike Mondo vignette and he knows why he’s here in the NWA. It is gut check time.
With that, your next match is between…
Boz vs. Mike Mondo
I dunno about all of you, but Mikey here has definitely bulked up and is looking fierce. No need for a Spirit Squad from this guy.
They lock up and Mondo is showing disrespect to his opponent. Boz gets the upper hand until Mondo gets a rope break. He goes back on the attack until Mondo retaliates with a kick to the midsection but Boz fires back with a kick to the head and clothesline for a two count. He picks him up in a fireman’s carry until Mondo rakes his eyes and pushes Boz to the corner. He clobbers him with another clothesline and Mondo shows off his push-up technique to keep his physique. Then he gets nasty as he fishhooks Boz and proclaims this is his house.
Definitely a lotta spirit in Mondo.
A dropkick by Boz, and Mondo crawls underneath the ring. As Boz waits for him, Mondo appears on the opposite side and blasts Boz from behind, and a gut check ends it in three.
Your Winner via Pinfall: Mike Mondo
It’s time for the Main Event, and this is a match between…
Primo and Epico Colón vs. The Immortals (Kratos and Odinson)
The bell rings and Kratos and Epico start and The Most Feared shoves him out of the ring. After a half-lap around the ring, he goes back for a headlock, and Kratos gets out, nails a shoulder tackle, and gives him a shot to the mouth. He proceeds to deadlift Epico and slam to the mat, and after that, Kratos measures him with chops to the corner. Primo tries to make the save but has no such luck, as Kratos launches Epico halfway to the other end of the ring with his release suplex.
Before he can cause more damage, Epico pulls Primo out of the corner, and Kratos gets stunned as he rushes to the corner. The Colóns go to work with their veteran tag team chemistry, and they give a double side Russian Legsweep to The Most Feared to cover for a two count. Kratos is an Immortal in Peril as Primo and Epico have their way with him. Epico nails him with a corner splash and tries a bulldog but Kratos manages to shove him off to knock the wind out of him. He crawls over and gets the hot tag to Odinson and he is an Asgardian en Fuego. As he gives Asgardian uppercuts, The Colóns stage a comeback with a double DDT, and it is chaos in the ring. Kratos gets back in and whips Primo to the corner and goes to mount the ropes and punch his head. Epico comes around and he shoves Kratos’ arm in the ring post to trap him. Odinson comes to and hits a suplex to cover Primo. Meanwhile, Epico slams a chair to Kratos in full view of the ref and he calls this match. Therefore…
Your Winners by Disqualification: The Immortals
After the match, they get Pearl Harbored by Blunt Force Trauma, and Stevens sends in a ladder. He sets it up in the middle of the ring, uses Odinson’s Purpose Silver can spray on his face so everyone can “Witness” and he rings the bell atop the center of the squared circle signaling the renewal of this feud. Clearly, Liberty has not rung for the Immortals and Stevens makes sure they don’t forget.
