WWE Raw: The Rock came to chew gum and give hugs and he was all out of gum

Thomas Starr

Rock shakes hands with Roman shortly before hugging him and kissing his forehead
Rock shakes hands with Roman shortly before hugging him and kissing his forehead

I am sure I will be in the minority, but I did not like this show. WWE Raw has been on a hot streak of good shows, but this was a bloated, illogical nightmare.

Beyond the constant plugs for Netflix including during Rock and Cena’s promos, there were several puzzling interactions. The Rock thanked Cody and hugged him. He hugged him. I understand what they were going for. The Rock was in corporate shill mode. But why would Cody buy it? Rock tried to usurp his title challenge. Then beat up and pinned Cody at Mania night 1. Now we see Cody with that awshucks look on his face and hugging Rock. Where is the logic?

To make it more bizarre, The Rock hugged Triple H. They were embroiled in a power struggle just nine months ago with nothing to explain a resolution. Now they hug each other. I do not understand this.

Must-see moments:

The show open

The cold open package was an incredible piece of work. Seeing Gorgeous George on WWE TV gave me goosebumps. The presentation of the video was very different. Instead of airing on the screens, they had a cloth over the ring and played the video on that cloth while the cameras rotated around it. Awe inspiring opening.

Punk vs. Rollins

To be honest, after three hours of puzzlement I was not interested in this match. I was tired and annoyed, so I cannot judge it fairly. It was probably the best match on the show, though, so I would check it out if you are watching the replay.

Chronological recap:

After the usual shots of wrestlers entering the arena, WWE went to a cold open that must be seen to be understood. It was projected on some sort of canvas hanging over the ring. Then Triple H was in the ring. He introduced us to the Netflix era.

WWE has upgraded their production. It is impossible to describe, but there are cameras everywhere and a second entrance screen in the lighting grid.

The Rock’s music played, and the crowd went banana (RIP Pat Patterson). He took his time soaking in the crowd. Then he handed that People’s Title to his two young daughters. The announcers referred to him as High Chief. The plot thickens.

They opened the show with The Rock and he did a promo about Netflix. Okay. Finally, he acknowledged Cody Rhodes, who was in the crowd for some reason. Rock praised Cody and talked about Cody’s mom and Cody laughed. What is this?

The nonsense continued as The Rock praised Roman, told Netflix he loved them, and went to shake hands with Cody. So last year never happened?

Roman Reigns vs. Solo Sikoa – Tribal Combat

Alicia Taylor did the introduction for Solo, and I thought he might have a stroke. Paul asked for the mic and introduced Roman.

They pitched to a package on this feud. Slick, state-of-the-art. This is an area they have always been ahead of the curve.

Some hard hitting action early on. Solo dumped Roman on the announce table and hit him with a monitor and the ring stairs. He threw Roman into the ringside barrier and a bunch of fans sat there giggling. It is a human body hitting the ringside barriers, guys.

Solo put a chair around Roman’s neck and the announcers talked about how it could break his neck if Solo smashed into it. The referee sat there and just implored Solo to not break Roman’s neck. The announcers were pretty matter of fact too about this potential murder about to happen. Stupid.

A couple of times they pitched to a commercial that never happened. What was that all about?

The announcers completely ignored Roman Reigns’ heel run by saying that people were just jealous of him and now we all know what it is like without the Tribal Chief. Are you guys kidding?

Tama Tonga and Jacob Fatu both ran-in and beat down Roman. Why did they wait? It is no DQ, anything goes so why stay in the back?

Sami Zayn and Jimmy Uso finally ran out. What were they waiting for? Also, no one saw this coming?

They also bumped the ref. Roman had Solo beaten but had to wait for another ref to make it to the ring. Sami and Jimmy finally cleared the ringside. Kevin Owens then ran in and attacked Reigns. Then Cody came out. And they fought off.

Reigns hit the spear and won the match after everyone on the roster came out. What a mess.

Winner: Roman Reigns

The Rock made his way out. He asked Paul for the Ula Fala. Then he and Roman shook hands and hugged. Rock even kissed his head. This is bizarre.

Jackie Redmond introduced The New Day. The crowd was not playing along with the booing like previous weeks. Suddenly, loud boos started and sounded suspiciously like they were being piped in. It did not last, though. Woods said something about Kendrick Lamar and tried to get them to boo, but this went over like a fart in church.

After a commercial for Riyadh Season (seriously), the audio went out for about a minute. Then Cole and McAfee talked about how great Netflix was. This has gotten old.

After more self-congratulations, John Cena came out to liven up the show. Cena started by talking about how great it is to be on Netflix.

He talked and talked and talked. Cena named a bunch of places in the area and said he slept in his car while he was working at Gold’s Gym. Why?

Then Cena explained that he had not won a match in six years? What a fantastic way to promote your upcoming tour. He explained that the only way he is getting another title match is to win the Royal Rumble. Cena then said he is going to win the Royal Rumble. It took 15 minutes to get to a point, but he finally did.

A Logan Paul video package aired. He said he was a 100% WWE superstar now.

Liv Morgan vs. Rhea Ripley – Women’s Title

It was ten minutes from Liv entering the ring until Rhea’s entrance music. The announcers thank Netflix for the 100th time and panned the crowd for celebrities. Most of them are from the nineties, but okay.

Rhea powerbombed Liv on the announce table, but the table did not break. That was a heck of a bump.

Both announcers were insulting Dom including using some PG-13 language. Liv used your typical heel tricks, but Rhea won with the riptide.

Winner: Rhea Ripley

Dominik came into the ring and offered a hug to Rhea. She teased hugging him but kicked him low instead. Cole awkwardly said Dom is not going to have fun with Liv tonight. He could not just leave it alone though. He felt the need to explain what he meant to McAfee as if he had not gotten it already. Dumb.

Rhea was leaving when Undertaker’s Kid Rock theme played. The crowd exploded as he rode out on his motorcycle. He and Rhea chatted for a bit, but we could not hear anything they said. Then they cut away to all the jobbers fake celebrating. That is it? They had him come to Raw for that?

Adam Pearce was talking to Bayley, but there were audio issues so we did not hear what they were saying. American Made interrupted and wanted the best luchador on the planet to face them next week. Pearce agreed.

Jackie Redmond then introduced The Miz. He was so annoying here that I would have turned this off if I was not reviewing the show. Karrion Kross showed up and made it worse. He wants yet another match with the Wyatts. Someone make this end.

WWE aired footage of the Rock hugging Triple H, meeting Travis Scott while he was drinking from a bottle, and, once again, hugging Cody.

They went to more shots of Netflix executives and Bill Simmons who looked like he had not slept in three weeks.

That terrible theme song started playing and Travis Scott was standing in an entrance way smoking weed. Yes, he was smoking weed. McAfee called it a legendary moment. He and Cole both sounded drunk on air. Jey Uso made his entrance with Scott. McAfee kept asking if he was “smokin’ that sage.” You are so hip, Pat.

Jey Uso vs. Drew McIntyre

This match was going so well that the crowd started the dueling chants to entertain themselves. Otherwise, the crowd was dead at this point. Jey took two clayborne kicks, but Drew missed the third and Jey turned it into a roll up for the win.

Winner: Jey Uso

A Gunther video package aired, which was my favorite part of the show. He was serious and did not care about the “new era.”

Of course, we went to the back where a clown showed up in a WWE Netflix shirt. They called him Fluffy. No idea who that is. The New Day interjected and just talked and it went nowhere. There is so much filler on this show.

Punk vs. Rollins

Punk won the match cleanly with the GTS.

Winner: CM Punk

More Reports