You what I found funny? When I heard that Dwayne Johnson was awarded “Entertainer of the Year” in GQ’s 2024 Men of the Year section, a week prior to the release of two movies he starred in, Red One and Moana 2, received negative reviews from audiences that I laughed so damn hard. That just beats the purpose out of your soul, doesn’t it? I didn’t expect this, but at the same time, I did. The words relating to these films were “disappointing mess” and “big mistake”. What a way to start the evening.

The only thing I’m curious about when it came to the men’s War Games match is the favor CM Punk has under his belt for whenever he thinks of cashing it in on Paul Heyman. On Monday, that alluded to WrestleMania. I could only guess that’s the full extent of it. He wanted to go this year, but Drew McIntyre practically farted in his face, preventing him from crossing, so…

To the surprise of absolutely no one, McIntyre attacked both Sami and Jey this past RAW, and I believe it’s because of their unwanted association with Punk last Saturday. Drew came out of that Hell in a Cell match very banged up, so he would eventually return to enact some revenge. I just didn’t think he was that stupid to strike anyone that isn’t the actual problem. Alas, we’ve seen him make that mistake before.

Three major injuries were inflicted during Survivor Series: Bronson Reed’s broken foot took him out indefinitely, Tonga Loa tore his bicep indefinitely, and Jimmy Uso suffered a shattered toe after that Uso Splash from the top of the cage that retracted him indefinitely as well. God damn…

Congratulations to Shinsuke Nakamura for becoming a three-time US Champion after dethroning LA Knight. That was upsetting, but I can’t be fully unsettled because he accomplished what he came here to do. I respect that.

The show barely started when the new Bloodline ruthlessly brushed past Apollo Crews and security after their lost last weekend. Ha! So unnecessary. The whining of losing babies isn’t a good look for y’all.

Anyway, I’m not sure what the hell is going with American Made showing up while Cody Rhodes was talking, but here they are, like the self-indulgent fools that they are. Gable came out to hammer down on the argument that Rhodes is a terrible friend to Kevin Owens and probably anyone else he comes across. Chad found himself inspired by Cody at some point, hence the reason why he’s here, however, that started to wither and die the moment the American Nightmare emerged as “superficial”.

Gable believed that whatever Cody has coming for him at Saturday Night Main Event, he deserves. All of this weird confrontation resulted in a potential battle between these two, which began because of a transfer window that’s been opened recently.

Backstage, Bianca accused Piper Niven of attacking Jade Cargill a couple of days before War Games because she wasn’t at ringside with Chelsea Green during their Women’s US Championship Tournament. That angered Niven to engage in fisticuffs with Belair later tonight. Also, Jesse Ventura will be the special guest at Saturday Night Main Event.

Naomi vs. Elektra Lopez vs. Tiffany Stratton – Round One Triple Treat Women’s US Championship Tournament match 

Naomi went after Tiffany early, almost ignoring Lopez until she made herself known by jumping Naomi from behind and delivered a couple of knees to the stomach of her opponent. She then turned her attention to Stratton with a drop kick. Tiffany managed to make a comeback with a curb stomp to Lopez.

Naomi was looking to take over this match once she returned inside the ring from the main floor. She delivered a crossbody from the top on Stratton. There was a little wobbly situation with Naomi in the corner when she wanted to stand on Tiffany’s back, but she slightly slipped off. Luckily, she hung onto the top rope and went on the assault towards Elektra.

There was malice behind that stomp to Naomi that Stratton performed. Geez… Right on the apron. Following that, Tiffy turned towards Elektra, who crawled her ass back inside the ring. Lopez’s sudden upper hand on Stratton nearly awarded her the win. The power of Elektra took down Naomi with close results.

Lopez’s heavy knee strikes to the jaw of Tiffany was quite alarming to watch. After that, she kicked Stratton off the mat as the crowd booed her because we’re in Stratton’s hometown of Minneapolis. Elektra has been on a roll with that modified Blue Thunderbomb.

Sadly for her, that went out the window as quickly as it came when Naomi did most the grunt work taking Elektra out and Candice LeRae’s slight interference, but it was Tiffany’s Prettiest Moonsault that finished the job in order for her to advance.

In the finals, we have Bayley facing off against Chelsea Green, while Stratton squares off versus Michin at Saturday Night Main Event.

Winner: Tiffany Stratton 

Meanwhile, the Street Profits were assaulted backstage by an unknown assailant, so they won’t be facing Motor City for the Tag Team Championships. In light of that, Johnny Gargano offered that DIY take Ford and Dawkins’ place, without sounding insensitive, of course. Although, I find this all too suspicion. Motor City agreed to the match nonetheless. Nick Aldis warned Gargano to tell Tommaso he better not regret it.

Bianca Belair vs. Piper Niven

Despite the injured rib of Bianca, she soldier through as she thew the first punch by ramming Niven into the corner. Piper returned fire with a massive crossbody that halts whatever momentum Belair had. Most of Piper’s offence were aimed for Belair’s ribcage knowing she’s in pain. That bear hug amplified that.

Unfortunately for Piper, she missed with that splash since Bianca moved out of the way in time, especially after enduring so much abuse. She wobbled her ass out of there as fast as she could. Belair used the turnbuckles to bump Piper against numerous times, exhausting her opponent, but that didn’t end the match.

Niven may have gotten Belair in the ribs again with her knees up, but she crashed in the corner after that cannonball that Bianca avoided. She did recapture some momentum with that driver that the EST inadvertently created. But wow, just wow, Bianca used Chelsea Green to drop Niven with a victorious KOD. A two-for-one special.

Winner: Bianca Belair

Shinsuke Nakamura was making his sinister entrance after winning the US title, he was still in the middle of it when LA Knight interrupted to narrate that Nakamura succeeded with a cheap shot attached to a cheap victory. He wanted a rematch right now. But hold the hell phone, El Edolo is here, too. He also had some unfinished business with Shinsuke.

Due to all that blasted noise, none of us saw the Bloodline sneaking their way to the ring. Tama Tonga took out Andrade, while Jacob Fatu took care of LA Knight. Nakamura was prepared to deliver the mist as it leaked from his mouth, but he slowly backed off as did the Bloodline. Andrade and Knight were left at the mercy of these men. Solo Sikoa dared anyone to step up regardless of the absence of Reed and Loa.

Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. DIY – Tag Team Championship match

Gargano may have been able to get DIY their Tag Team Championship match, but Tommaso is still waiting for an answer to the question he asked Johnny. Who’s side is he on? Given his friendship with Motor City, Ciampa is cautious of the collaboration going on mostly behind his back.

As the fight got underway, Ciampa went right for Sabin with that Black Heart style-like aggression. I think that too much of that may have distracted Ciampa from fully concentrating as Chris took over his arm. The Motor City Machine Guns have taken this match in their hands with brilliant double team maneuvers.

Tommaso had Shelley in his grasp, so Gargano could punch him. Johnny grabbed his arm instead, so Ciampa tagged himself back in to “show” how to do things properly. While Ciampa kept barking at Johnny, Shelley and Sabin remove the rug from under his feet.

Things get even worst when Ciampa accidentally delivered a big boot to Gargano’s face, sending him off the apron and on the floor. Shelley ducked out of the way for that to happen. Tommaso called Johnny called “stupid” because of that. Later on, Shelley was able to tag Sabin, while Ciampa had no one to tag in. Chris disposed of Johnny on the outside as well.

Clumsy is how I would describe this altercation. This match was merely to broadcast the implosion of DIY. Ciampa wanted Gargano to mangle Shelley after he threw him on the main floor, but he didn’t. Tommaso shoved Gargano, so Johnny shoved him back. That encouraged Ciampa to shout that DIY was done, and Johnny agreed, saying that he’ll do this himself.

When Ciampa went to get a steel chair and distracted the referee, that allowed Gargano to deliver a low-blow to Sabin to the surprise of Shelley and the happiness of Tommaso. Johnny Super Kicked Alex to dispose of him, then tagged Ciampa in, so they could perform a successful Meet Me in the Middle.

I have nothing to say…

Winners: DIY 

Moving on. Kevin Owens asked that if Michael Cole wants to interview him, he’ll have to come out to the parking lot and talk to him in his car, so Cole caught up with Owens on his terms.

Cole wanted to conduct an unbiased interview to which Owens was insanely skeptical about because of how much of a Cody Rhodes supporter Michael has been lately. Kevin was pissed off that Cole didn’t see the levels of betrayal that Rhodes checked off the the box. Yes, Jimmy and Jey Uso helped Roman, even though, they shouldn’t have. The same applies to Sami Zayn, a topic that Owens will eventually get to. However, when it came to Rhodes, he was described as Kevin’s friend.

This kind of backstabbing was far too great to be forgiven so easily, or forgotten as well. Since Cole’s eyes were too closed to the core meaning of Owens’ argument, the Prize Fighter demanded he leave his car. He even called Michael back just so he could roll the window up in his face.

Cody Rhodes vs. Chad Gable

Both men have reached a standstill in the early goings of this fight, displaying evenly matched skills of grappling after their exchange at the beginning of the evening. Standing switch of chops ensued in the corner of the ring.

Gable looked to take advantage when Cody got distracted by Ivy Nile on the apron. He twisted his leg with that corkscrew-like maneuver that I can only imagine how much that hurts. It looked brutal how quick it was. Chad kept on his attack by banging Rhodes’ injured leg against the post.

The callousness behind those chops to Cody’s chest brought way too many painful memories. Oof. The scolding was indeed malicious and well-placed. Following that, Rhodes did make a comeback with an inverted superplex that shocked commentary and the audience. Now on one leg, Rhodes hobbled around with his offenses.

The rest of American Made saw that Chad was in trouble, so they pulled him out of the way just as Rhodes was capitalizing. The referee made the decision to shoot all three of their asses to the back of the arena. Ha! Bye! Brutus Creed was having a hissy fit. Regardless of the elimination of his team, Gable forcibly removed Rhodes’ boot, so he could maximize the ankle lock. Alas, Cody sent him into the second turnbuckle.

Rhodes had Gable for Crossroads, but Chad caught him with a kick to the forehead. The American Nightmare missed the first time, but he was triumphant the second go around with the Crossroad.

The evening wasn’t over just yet. Kevin Owens came back to inflict further punishment on Cody’s wounded ankle before entering into a brawl with the man.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

 

TOP PHOTO: Kevin Owens stomps on Cody Rhodes’ leg. Courtesy of WWE