NWA POWERRR: A bruising Burke Invitational Gauntlet for NWA 76

The Burke Invitational has brought out the best in women’s competition for the National Wrestling Alliance for the last few years.  This year is no different as we will see who will be able to become the number one contender for the NWA women’s world championship, currently held by Kenzie Paige.  There are favorites like Natalia Markova and Kylie Paige, along with newcomers such as Tiffany Nieves and Ruthie Jay.

We’ll find out in the Main Event who will have a future shot at The Burke as “X” marks the spot as we come to you from the historic 2300 Arena in downtown Philadelphia, PA. It’s a cold open as Kyle Davis is in the ring with backstage producers Jazz and Pat Kenney (which some fans might remember as “Simon Diamond”).  He expresses the honor and privilege to be back in Philadelphia, the city of the Philadelphia Eagles (some boos there), and the Extreme (prompting the “E-C-Dub” chants).

Oh, and one thing needed to make this complete, as the former Diamond gives the signature pose:

Pat Kenney aka Simon Diamond (right) gives his signature pose, alongside Jazz and Kyle Davis. Courtesy of the NWA via ‘X’

He puts over Jazz, and I’m going to let her speak at this point:

“Like Pat Kenney said, it feels great to be back here in this very Arena 26 years ago. It’s where I, The Female Fighting Phenom was born.  I was born 26 years ago.  This is where I was introduced as a Female Fighting Phenom in this very own arena.”

That prompts a “Thank you, Jazz!” from the Philly faithful.

“Thank you for the love, but enough about me. Let’s talk about the Gauntlet. We have thirteen of the most toughest, roughest, the most talented women in the industry today.  They have showed up, and now they’re about to show out.”

Well, Jazz doesn’t need to threaten me with a good time!  Let’s get the third part of NWA 76 started as we throw to commentary as Joe Galli, Billy Corgan, and Danny Dealz have the call.  Your First Match of the Night is a…

Courtesy of the NWA.

Number One Contender Match for the NWA Junior Heavyweight Championship: Jack Cartwheel vs. Alex Misery

Galli notes that the winner of this match will be able to challenge the current NWA Junior Heavyweight champion, Alex Taylor, at the signature event Samhain 2, which will be held on October 26th.

Once the match gets underway, they lock up and Cartwheel…umm, cartwheels away.  Misery shows he can do the same, and from there both men utilize their agility and quickness for a series of near falls, but Cartwheel is beginning to live rent-free in Misery’s mind, as he gives a cartwheel kick followed by a standing moonsault for a two count.  Misery gives him a springboard dropkick to have him crash to the concrete floor and follows up with a moonsault but misses the mark.  Cartwheel comes back and connects with a space-flying Tiger drop to Misery and the fans are fired up.  It isn’t long before Misery gets back on track with a spinning backdrop into another standing moonsault for a count of two.  He then stomps on Cartwheel’s knees to take away his offensive weapons and then…

Ads (again, not crazy about it in the middle of the match, especially one this action-packed.  But such is my cross to bear.)

We come back and Misery is in control and lands with a clothesline for another two count, and then he cinches a figure four leglock to Cartwheel. While the submission is unusual for Misery, it proves to have the effect of further injuring Cartwheel as he struggles and just barely gets his hands on the bottom rope to break the hold.  Things don’t look so good for the cartwheeling aerialist until he manages to nail a flying flatliner to Misery.  He’s got a second wind and Cartwheel backflips and connects with a neckbreaker and follows up with a crucifix bomb for a near fall.  He attempts the Cartwheel DVD but his back is strained from the punishment from earlier.  Misery takes advantage with a spinning flapjack for a close two count.  He sets him in the corner, hits a springboard elbow drop, and then goes for a top rope moonsault but no dice.  Both men use their educated feet, but it’s Cartwheel with a high knee lift and then he gets fancy with a springboard codebreaker followed by Cartwheel stomp between the ropes for a pin attempt but he can’t close the deal.  They battle up the top rope until Misery is sent crashing down and a springboard corkscrew splash (dubbed “Not a Cartwheel”) finishes off Misery for good.

Your Winner, and the New Number One Contender:  Jack Cartwheel

That will truly be a great match to see if you live in the Tampa, FL, area.

(Oh, yeah.  Check it out here, if you missed the news)

May Valentine is backstage with the current NWA Women’s champion, Kenzie Paige. She inquired about her thoughts on who could be her next opponent coming out of the Burke Invitational. Paige Asks Valentine to refer to herself as the “Goddess of Glam” in addition to being the current world champion. Paige emphatically states she has held the belt for, “One year down and forever to go!”  However, she concedes that of all the competitors, her sister Kylie Paige could be the one, since is as “sexy, beautiful, and almost as smart” as her.

(My smark sense is tingling, as I see a sibling feud down the road.)

Now Valentine speaking to Rolando and The Spectacular member lets us know he has a new lady in his life called Karma.  No, not what Awesome Kong called herself in WWE (Wiki it, kids) but what he envisions will befall Eric Smalls.  He hasn’t forgotten the shot he gave to his “cajones” and promises he’s coming after Small’s “family jewels.”

Let’s turn away from that talk to the Main Event, and it is…

Courtesy of the NWA

The Burke Invitational Gauntlet

There are thirteen participants, and Kyle Davis announces the rules of this Gauntlet…

The Burke Invitational Rules. Courtesy of the NWA via ‘X’

Ruthie Jay starts against Kylie Paige, and they grapple for a minute until Lili Pescadita makes her entrance.  Pescadita from NWA Chicago makes her debut and holds her own as she nails a standing enzugiri to Paige and showboats a bit before Jay stops the celebration.  The next entrant is Big Mama, who is no stranger to the NWA, and she is a one-woman wrecking crew and delivers a Sky High powerbomb to drop Jay and pin her for the first elimination.

Your next competitor is “HollyHood” Haley J  coming out of Ohio Valley Wrestling (maybe you heard of her from a little documentary called Wrestlers?  I hear it’s big on something called “Netflix?”), and that leads to…

Ads (You know how I feel.  Let’s move on, shall we?)

We come back and all the women in the ring gang up on Mama, who is giving off Diesel vibes (if you know, you know).  She finally gets dumped over the top rope to eliminate her, and then that brief partnership falls apart as everyone goes back to fighting each other.  Next, La Rosa Negra comes out and makes a beeline to Pescadita.  Natalia Markova makes her entrance and commentary notes that between her and Paige, she is the favorite to win this.  She nails the Beautiful Destruction kick to both Rosa and Paige in the corner, but then Markova and Pescadita exchange blows until Haley J makes her presence known.  Out comes Tiffany Nieves and “La Princesa” saunters to the ring.  As Markova tosses Pescadita over the top rope to eliminate her, Nieves stuns Rosa on the top rope.  Mystii Marks comes out next, and she is representing the Dogg Pound Dojo Wrestling (which is run by Jazz and Rodney Mack).  Nieves gives a spinning sidewalk slam but Marks comes back, gives her a snapmare, and lays waste to anyone foolish enough to face the Houston native.

Up next is Kayla Rossi and the former bodybuilder makes a striking debut as she leaps to the apron and gives a slingshot clothesline to Paige to lay her out.  She gets Rosa in firemen’s carry, gets some drops in squats, and finishes with a convincing Samoan drop.  Paige tries to attack from behind and Rossi slams her to the mat and nails a moonsault to cover for a two count.  Now we see the hometown favorite Adrianna Mosley enter next and South Philly cheers for “Big Daddy Adrii.”  Rossi stares down Mosley and they throw bombs.  Mosley gets the better of the offense and covers until Haley breaks the count.  Now we get Kelly Madan as the twelfth combatant (formerly of AEW), and she attacks anyone in her path. Rossi ain’t feeling it and she sends her and Marks over the top rope to eliminate them, but Paige sneaks up from behind and gets a schoolgirl pin to quickly get rid of her in the Gauntlet.  That leaves your final entrant of the Burke Invitational to enter the squared circle is Santana Garrett.  The former NWA Women’s champion is greeted with cheers after a long absence and she is showing that fighting spirit, and that leads to…

More Ads (Sighhh! Hopefully nothing big happens when we return)

We come back and Haley was eliminated by Nieves via submission (oh, gods damn it!), and that is swiftly followed by Garrett pulling the top rope down and low bridges Mosley to eliminate her.  Markova gives a thrust kick to Rosa to send her over the top rope, but she hangs on for dear life, and then she and Garrett give dual back elbows to Markova.  Again, the partnership is short-lived as they battle on the apron until a big boot by Garrett takes out Rosa.  In the ring, Markova pins Nieves but she kicks out at twol, and Paige kicks Garrett’s feet out from under her and she does the splits on the apron.  She follows with a running dropkick that sends out the former NWA champ.  Markova focuses on Paige and tries to eliminate her, but Nieves crawls in with a steel chair.  Markova lands with the Beautiful Destruction to knock out Paige out of the ring.  As she turns, Nieves clocks her with a chair shot and covers for one, two…kick out.  Nieves goes to extremes and looks under the ring for more hardware, grabs a kendo, and whips across the back of Markova.  She rolls under the ropes to the outside and Nieves follows but Markova has her own kendo stick and they swing for the fences.  She goes for a suplex but Markova reverses on the hard concrete floor.  Back in the ring, she attempts a series of near falls and then Nieves drills her with a spear for one, two…no dice.

Now tables come out and Nieves sets it up in the ring.  She gets Markova up on the top rope and attempts a high-risk maneuver, but The Russian Crush has some fight in her and they battle up top.  Nieves gets her set for a suplex but Markova reverses to an avalanche uranage and drives her through the hardwood and covers for the one, two, and three.

Your Winner of The Burke Invitational Gauntlet:  Natalia Markova

Markova once again emerges victorious with another bite at the Burke down the road, as the show goes to the credits.