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WWE Raw: Too many boring monologues

Thomas Starr
Rhea is hoping Jey will ask her to prom.

The segments at the top of the hours were great. Punk’s promo, the Breakker – Uso confrontation, and the Gunther – Kaiser – Zayn segment was all great and moved the stories along.

The rest of the show was boring filler. Throughout the show, Judgment Day and the former members had long backstage monologues. They repeated the things that they had already said before, only in a stagier way.

There was a lot of bad acting and emoting on this show. Some of it was embarrassing. What was not embarrassing was boring.

Show opening

Someone needs to contact CM Punk. He left his car door open. WWE did the shots of wrestlers arriving and Punk was the last one. He got out of his rental and just walked away with the door open. I am sure he was blocking several other cars, so if someone was stuck in that parking garage, you know who to blame.

Punk had a different tone here. Much more monotone and gravellier. He called Drew his mortal enemy. Punk sold the brutality of Hell in a Cell. He said his family and friends do not want him in the match, but he knows it is the only way for the feud to end.

The match will not feature cinder blocks or syringes, but Punk promised blood. This was a good promo. He made the match seem pivotal. You do not have to burn a house down to sell a feud, you just need real emotions. Punk genuinely hates Drew and vice versa.

Sheamus vs. Pete Dunne

Sheamus tried to entice the crowd to chant Butch, but it did not work early in the match. WWE is trying to create a backstory with that name, but if you know the story of the name change then you know who gave it to him. If you do not know the story, I imagine this is confusing. Why would Sheamus give him a new ring name? It is illogical.

Dunne does those forearms that the modern wrestlers do. I can count on one hand how many wrestlers make them look good. He is not one. Then he did headbutts to Sheamus’s chest. That looked awful.

This match went from okay to stupid quick. A shillelagh materialized at ringside. Dunne tried to use it but dropped it in the ring. The referee saw it and just stood there admonishing Sheamus not to pick it up. Why not pick it up and keep it from him? You are the referee. Then Dunne pulls a cricket bat from under the ring and hit Sheamus for the win. I guess he hid it under the ring before the show. No one spotted him. They have dozens of people setting up before the show and no one saw him. So, lame.

Winner: Pete Dunne

Braun Strowman and The Miz met up in the back. Miz asked what Strowman meant when he said Miz was no match for Bronson Reed. How much clearer does he need to make it?

Zoey Stark vs. Natalya

Natalya came out to a cacophony of silence. Wade Barrett said the crowd exploded. No, Wade. That was her music. Seriously, way to kill your credibility.

Before the commercial break, it was the typical series of moves. No rhyme or reason, just whatever they practiced in the back. At one point, Natalya had to awkwardly tap the referee to hold her back because Stark was late getting up to grab Natalya and drop her over the top rope. Sloppy.

This was terrible. They finished the match with Malenko – Guerrero series of reversals. Only they could not execute them well, so it looked so amateur.

Winner: Natalya

FXXX confronted Rhea backstage, and they did their middle school monologues. Rhea’s new boyfriend, Jey Uso, came to defend her honor. Straight out of a summer drama camp.

Top of the nine o’clock hour

Bron Breakker interrupted the Yeeting. Thank you, Bron. Jey Uso has an aura, as the kids say, and a great entrance, but I am not sure if I would have him working with Bron. Jey is not exactly a good worker.

Breakker has a new leather jacket. The front says, “Beware of Dog.” He is already better on the mic and in the ring than Jey Uso.

To his credit, Jey fired up and had great intensity. He made a comment about Bron’s NFL career being short. Bron jumped him, but Jey hit the spear and sent Bron to ringside. Good segment.

The New Day vs. Judgement Day – Raw Tag Team Titles

Joe Tessitore said it was the 10-year anniversary of The New Day. The two teams did get the crowd with them, but The Judgment Day all came down to ringside. Then the LWO came out to fight with them. Xavier Woods had JD pinned, but the ref was out of the ring. Judgment Day took advantage of the distraction and won.

Winners: The Judgment Day

Xavier Woods was frustrated after the match and had words with Kofi.

The Wyatts have another QR code. Make it stop.

Bronson Reed had a great promo package before the match.

Braun Strowman vs. Bronson Reed

Reed ran into the turnbuckle, and it gave way. So, the top rope is disabled. Wade says, “The ref can’t do anything about it.” So, he cannot stop the match? The ring is broken.

Strowman did his choo-choo and Bronson threw a “fan” at Braun to stop the train. That looked so stupid.

And it got worse. They fought to the back. Strowman turned over a golf cart for some reason. Then Reed hit the tsunami. They both got up and Strowman did his choo-choo and rammed Reed through a structure that looked like it had been put up about two hours ago. It recalled AEW building a fake wall that was clearly fake. Then someone pushed catering dishes off the top of the clearly fake structure. What else can I say? This all looked fake.

The top of the ten o’clock hour

Sami Zayn is out. He makes his case for a world title match with Gunther. Ludwig Kaiser comes out. Kaiser has great mannerisms and facials. He looks and acts like such a prick.

Sami started trying to drive a wedge between Ludwig and Gunther. Gunther had heard enough and came out.

Kaiser teased bowing up to Gunther, but instead attacked Sami. Gunther said the answer to Sami’s challenge was no.

Everyone played their part well. Gunther turning down Sami over and over is great heel work. I now want to see this match. I did not care just two weeks ago.

Liv Morgan and Damien Priest met up in the back. They did their middle school drama class monologues. This is just filling time.

Bianca Belair vs. Iyo Sky

WWE advertised this match as Belair vs. Kairi Sane, but they changed it mid-show. Earlier, Iyo said Kairi was injured. Iyo’s new gimmick of screaming everything she says is turn-the-channel heat.

It is impossible to know how to feel about Damage CTRL. They were the lead heel team on Smackdown then they switched and have been fighting with heels. Now they are facing a babyface team. They need Asuka. Iyo and Kairi are just not working by themselves.

They got the crowd into the match. Iyo got the roll up win. Then, this former women’s champion celebrated like she was in shock. Again, a former champion. I am pretty sure she has beaten Bianca before too.

American Made had a promo package. They claimed they are done with the Wyatts. I hope so. Ivy Nile called the Wyatts “5150 freaks.” Ugh.

Ludwig Kaiser cut an awesome promo on Sami Zayn. They will face off next week.

Ilya Dragunov was talking to Jey Uso. When Jey left, Judgment Day showed up to discuss Ilya talking to Jey. You see, they do not like Ilya talking to Jey. They think Ilya should talk to them. Ilya says he will talk to whoever he wants to. Now Ilya participates in this middle school drama. Great.

Damien Priest vs. Dominik Mysterio

This was a good match, but after the previous two hours and forty-five minutes it was hard to care. The big moment was Rhea jumping Liv and both landing on Wade Barrett. Priest hit South of Heaven and won.

Winner: Damien Priest

Judgment Day beat up the Terror Twins. Jey Uso tried to make the save, but Bron hit him with a spear. FXXX hit the double stomp on Priest. Judgment Day celebrated as they went off the air.

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