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SmackDown: An unlikely, wonky and downright cuckoo alliance is an understatement

Triple H welcomes us to the season premiere of WWE’s new home on the USA Network. Let’s have some good, bloody fun!


Cody Rhodes (c) vs. Solo Sikoa – Undisputed Universal Championship Steel Cage match


In the early moments of the fight, Cody established himself by trying to disable Sikoa as much as he can, however, at some point, Solo returned fire twice as hard as the American Nightmare started with. The reason for the Steel Cage is to keep the Bloodline and Roman Reigns from interfering whenever they please.

Rhodes managed to counter Solo’s attacks with a running Bulldog to his challenger, yet Sikoa appeared ineffective. So, Cody bounced his head against the steel numerous times. That was bound to happen sooner or later. What the champ didn’t see coming was that he got launched towards the cage so suddenly. Now Solo is in control as he backs it up. A flying headbutt numbs Rhodes upside down in the corner.

Sikoa missed the second time coming that Rhodes used his cord strength to avoid the incoming bulldozer. Later on, we see that Cody has been busted open due to that headbutt. This is simply the beginning of Sikoa’s rampage as he continued to ram his forehead against Rhodes’ wound.

The American Nightmare was looking for the Disaster Kick, yet he got caught by Solo as he collided him with the cage. Rhodes practically melted off the metal like butter. Luckily, Rhodes was able to get some elevation by climbing the structure and delivered the Cody Cutter. Given how Cody was looking to escape, Solo prevented him from doing so. If anything, they kept each other from doing that.

Cody fell high on the back of his neck when he and Solo came crashing down. That slap Rhodes gave Sikoa only pissed him off as he delivered two Spinning Solos. Following this, Rhodes was able to block a Samoan Spike attempt with a Disaster Kick and another Cody Cutter. All he got didn’t do enough to keep Sikoa down.

Solo squashed Cody in the corner and delivered a Samoan Drop. The splash from the top nearly pinned Rhodes, yet he got his shoulder up in time. Although, Sikoa kept punishing Cody, the Champion did have great ring awareness to venture towards the door, alas, Solo noticed.

What came as an absolute shock was when Cody seemed to be climbing to exit the cage only to deliver a crossbody from way up high like when Randy Orton delivered an RKO to JD McDonagh at last year’s War Games. That’s still hilarious when you think about it. Wow, oh wow, that didn’t matter because Sikoa kicked out. Somehow…

Rhodes managed to retain his title after blocking another Samoan Spike attempt with Crossroads. Bravo! The Champion reminded Solo that they’re done. He may have closed Sikoa’s chapter, but the Bloodline aren’t finished with him as the Tongas and Jacob Fatu surround Rhodes like a mouse overwhelmed by hungry and cutthroat street cats.

Strangely enough, I wanted Fatu to leap from the top of the cage like he intended to if it weren’t for the arrival of Roman Reigns… AGAIN. I hope the audience is aware that all the abrupt entrances coming from this man are orchestrated under selfish means of wanting that Undisputed title back… and maybe a little bit of revenge, I guess. I already explained why it’ll take more than punching his cousin and his crocked friends to get back in my good books.

OTC still sounds like an unknown disease. Ha! Roman was being overtaken by the Bloodline, surprisingly but also not really, Cody helped him by adding support.

Winner: Cody Rhodes


Michin vs. Piper Niven 


Michin explodes out of the box steaming hot and knocking Piper down with a suicide dive on the outside. Let’s not forget, Chelsea Green gets kicked in the face for opening her mouth, which distracts her from the initial objective being Niven, who Cannonballs Michin. Unsurprising really.

But, I am glad to say that Michin successfully delivered a belly-to-back suplex off the ropes. She gained a victory with Eat the Feet to end this. Annoyingly so, Green and Niven attack her after the match.

Winner: Michin


Kevin Owens & ? vs. A-Town Down Under – Tag Team match


Ha! I don’t even know what to say aside from that funny trick Kevin pulled when his partner looked like white milk to me. We kept asking ourselves who the hell was that. I don’t know who he is, but Corey Graves didn’t like his chest hair. Neither did I. Apparently, his name is Ricky. Fortunately for us, Owens’ real partner in Randy Orton showed up. Kevin even Stunned Ricky on his way out… Wow.

Theory and Waller aren’t laughing anymore after seeing Orton on the other side of the ring. Oof. They look foolish, but that’s how they are every week. Anyway, Kevin and Grayson start this match as Owens pounded him into the corner. Because he was laid out, Austin saves Waller by dragging him out of the line of fire. This prompts Orton to rush over there and clothesline Theory. But like the irritant he is, Waller blindsides Orton by shoving him into the post. Owens assaults him back.

Divide and conquer is what A-Town Down Under do as they miraculously shift the tied in their favor. Waller stupidly tried to superplex Kevin and failed, so Theory tries to pick up where his partner left off. He fails, too.

I don’t know if I’d describe it as “smart” when just as Owens reached for Orton, Waller pulled him off the apron, but yeah, he did that. Theory and Waller played a few double teams in order to prevent Owens from tagging Randy. The Prize Fighter was the smart one when he quickly rolled out of the ring and tagged Orton, who wrecked shop.

A beautiful double vintage Orton DDT followed by a Stunner and an RKO to end this with the bell.

Winners: Kevin Owens & Randy Orton


After the Undisputed Championship match we opened the evening with, Solo issued a challenge that is now being revealed. He and Jacob Fatu want to face Cody Rhodes and Roman Reign in a tag match at Bad Blood. I saw this coming from miles away. Rhodes made himself clear that he’s done with the Bloodline, they’re Roman’s problem now. So, he has no intentions to sign the contract officiating the tag match. Good on you. Stand by your principles… until you don’t.

 

Next up, we have the WWE Women’s Champion on stage. She informs us that Nick Aldis has sanctioned a title match for her at Bad Blood without knowing who she’s facing. And right on cue of naming her fallen challengers, Bayley makes her entrance. She gives Nia credit where it’s due while demanding a rematch for the gold.

Bayley finds it odd that although she rolled with a posse like Nia pointed out, she doesn’t understand why the champ keeps Tiffany Stratton around. She helped Jax win her title, but Bayley didn’t need to do any of that to get hers. Confusion. Confusion. Stratton says, inadvertently I think, that she lost to Bayley last week because Nia got involved, which slightly perplexed Jax. Ha!

The best part is when Naomi came out and said “Why don’t you put your money where your big old mouth is and let’s glow?!” She also wants a title match. Nia makes things interesting by issuing a Tag Team match with herself and Stratton versus Naomi and Bayley, and whoever delivers the final pin gets to face Jax at Bad Blood. They accept the challenge… Oh, but one more thing, whoever loses between Naomi and Bayley would have to leave SmackDown permanently.

That stunned them for sure, but not after Naomi delivered the Rearview to Tiffany.


Andrade vs. Carmelo Hayes Part V


I was in the middle of a casual yawn when Carmelo attacked Andrade early knowing his opponent hasn’t removed his jacket yet. Can’t he wait? Dear God. Hayes really wants to win this as he pounced on Andrade a second time. As a counterattack, Andrade shoved Carmelo off the ropes just as Hayes wanted to perform a specific move.

Andrade looked to take Carmelo out with the Spanish Fly on the barricade closes to the timekeeper’s area. Wow-wee! Hayes gets Andrade with a leaping clothesline. I suspect that Melo was able to avoid that spinning elbow Andrade does and connects with the First 48. So, Andrade shocked Melo with a triumphant spinning elbow for a near fall.

Carmelo caught Andrade with his knees just he performed that double Moonsault, which he clearly didn’t expect to happen regardless of the previous matches they’ve had. Luckily, Andrade used Hayes’ momentum against him with the Destroyer. Andrade reinforced his attack with the Meteora. Due to the obvious fatigue, Melo grabbed the bottom rope to save himself.

Andrade went for the split-legged Moonsault, but Hayes moved out of the way. It was kind of comical seeing Andrade crash down like that because it looked so rushed, which made it even funnier. The conclusion that came wasn’t what Melo wanted when he fell victim to El Grande from the second rope awarding Andrade the final point, yet it happened. AMAZING!!

Indeed, it is, so much so that LA Knight informs Andrade that he’s the next one on the list to get an opportunity at the US Championship.

Winners: Andrade 


Am I really surprised that while Aldis was trying to speak, Roman demanded the microphone like he would if Paul Heyman were to hand it to him? Hell no! I see entitlement remains a HUGE facture that hasn’t changed as of yet… if at all. The more the fans chant “OTC!”, the more it sounds like an illness. Are you telling y’all don’t notice that??

On different matters, Roman throws away the contract to reiterate that this is family business that cannot be bounded by mere paper. He has no desire to team with Rhodes to deal with his issues. With or without the Ula Fala, Reigns remains the Tribal Chief.

I suppose…

He arrogantly says that this is his ring and company, to which Rhode arrives to remind Roman that he’s holding the Championship now. It hasn’t been Reigns’ ring since WrestleMania as Cody so elegantly stated. And speaking of statements, Solo and Jacob walk to the stage. Sikoa seems to be reeling the effects of the Steel Cage match. While they kept Reigns and Rhodes’ focus on them, the Tongas jump them from behind.

Cody and Roman respectfully fight them off, eventually, yet pride can make you do very, very unintelligent things. Reigns signed the contract, yet Sikoa kept shouting from the outside that Cody won’t sign because he doesn’t like him. Ha! He does, though…

 

TOP PHOTO: Rhodes and Reigns standing inside the ring. Courtesy of WWE

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