Mat Matters: When Apter’s show falls into your lap

ST. LOUIS — It’s all fun and games until Bill Apter lands in your lap.

And that makes it one of those times where a report can’t exactly be impartial, since, you know, I was briefly part of his show.

The scene was the Aviator Hotel & Suites in south St. Louis on Friday, May 17, 2024, the first night of a massive SICW Fan Fest, bringing in around 60 talent for autographs and the induction to the St. Louis Wrestling Hall of Fame on Saturday.

But the Friday night was all about Apter.

The former writer and photographer and editor for the Pro Wrestling Illustrated family of magazines and later WOW magazine presented his one-man show that he has been doing here and there across the country for the last decade or so.

It is the kind of unpredictable fun that can’t exactly be explained, nor can I explain how, in a room of a hundred or so people watching him do his schtick, there was an empty chair in the middle of it all where I sat to snap a few photos … and soon the crooning Wonderful Willie was on my lap. What else was there to do but laugh and play along?

Others who played along, but got some advance warning, were Teddy Long and Madusa “Alundra Blayze” Miceli.

Long, the referee turned manager and GM, did the “Teddy Dance” first with Apter, explaining that it came from helping his then two-year-old grandson learn to walk, and then trying to get the entire room to do it.

Madusa, dressed in a stunning KISS-inspired dress, told the story of the time, early in her career, that she took Apter to a gay bar in Minneapolis. It’s a story that is Apter’s book, the wordy-titled Is Wrestling Fixed? I Didn’t Know It Was Broken!: From Photo Shoots and Sensational Stories to the WWE Network — My Incredible Pro Wrestling Journey! and Beyond …

Part of the reason that Apter felt so comfortable dropping into my lap — besides his all around general hamminess — was that I had worked with him on his book, acting as an editor as he wrote his piece, suggesting what was missing, what could be improved, before it went off to Michael Holmes, the editor at ECW Press.

Other regular parts of the act were a slide show of photos of wrestlers giving him the finger — so Madusa leaving the stage with “The Bird” and a “peace out, asshole” worked just fine — and a collection of short video clips that was titled “They Said This on the Apter Chat?”

I happened to be chatting with Teddy Long when Apter ran video of his “COW” championship that was defended in the old PWI office, and, after watching Tough Guy Bill beat up the likes of Dan Severn, Rob Van Dam, The Sandman and Jimmy Valiant, Long quipped to me, “He just killed the business.”

Apter also had his bag of gimmicks, and, given his decades in the business, could spin a tale about just about anyone. He had a Mil Mascaras mask, “Mick Foley’s severed arm” and even a headband that he said was given to him by Hulk Hogan the night he beat The Iron Sheik for the WWF World championship. Pittsburgh-based referee Mark Charles III was lucky enough to get on stage to try it on and do his best Hulkster impression … which was nothing compared to Apter’s many impressions.

Audience participation was part of the show, including a competition to see who could put on a wrestling singlet the fastest and audience questions at the end of the night. To close, Apter sang a modified version of “My Way” with lots of wrestling references.

In short, it was all the kind of silly fun that just about any fan fest provides — it just doesn’t always result in the star of the show bouncing up and down on your lap.

NOTE: The SICW Fanfest, a massive collection of wrestlers for St. Louis, runs on Saturday, May 18; it includes the annual induction into the St. Louis Wrestling Hall of Fame. (Details here.)

TOP PHOTO: Bill Apter sings while in the lap of Greg Oliver on Friday, May 17, 2024. Photo by Debrah Miceli

RELATED LINKS

• May 18, 2024: Randy Orton celebrates Cowboy Bob’s St. Louis Hall of Fame induction
• SICW Fan Fest II photo gallery
• Bill Apter story archive