Counting the pre-show, a daunting 11-match card (correction: a 12th match added) awaits on TNA Under Siege. Looking at the lineup it is amazing how many of these matches the company did not bother to preview on the Thursday show. Joe Hendry did a segment with AJ Francis, but he is facing Zachary Wentz. Very odd and it would only get odder as several changes were made during the show. Changes noted in italics.
Pre-show
Rhino vs. VSK
This match was not advertised on the TNA website. There are several changes to the card. None of this was announced on their website. Hammerstone is off the card for some reason. They said he was not “medically cleared.” I know their shows are pre-taped, but they did not know this last night?
Winner: Rhino in a squash match.
Ace Austin promo
After a highlight package recapping Mustafa Ali’s run as champion, Austin does a good promo. He highlights that his partner is not there. I smell trouble.
FBI vs. The Batiri
The FBI were advertised, but The Batiri were not. The Batiri are wearing Missing Link-like face paint. Little Guido is at ringside. ECW nostalgia all over this preshow. One of the FBI tried a pop-up neck breaker, but just dropped his opponent on the mat when he missed his neck.
Winners: The FBI
KC Navarro vs. Laredo Kid – Digital Media Title (Match changed from Kid vs. Swann)
Another unannounced match. Laredo Kid was scheduled for a non-title match against Rich Swann, but when the match was changed, he asked to defend his title. Why didn’t he want a title match with Swann? Lots of high-flying and dives. It is unclear who is the babyface or heel. Little psychology too. Fun match. They did not do anything dangerous, which is a compliment.
Winner: Laredo Kid
Ash by Elegance vs. Havok was moved to the Main Show
Main Show
The Cold Open includes audio from a famous Winston Churchill speech. I am not kidding.
Josh Alexander and Eric Young vs. Steve Maclin and Frankie Kazarian
This match was originally listed for later on the card. Or at least it was according to their website. They are teasing some tension between Kazarian and Maclin. This is my first chance to see Alexander. I have heard good things. Eric Young with the Dr. Doom mask. Shout out to Slam’s John Powell. Alexander gives Young wrestling headgear. Matthew Rehwoldt, who is the commentator, says Young was trained by Killer Kowalski. He then says Kowalski got the nickname Killer by ripping the ear off Yukon Eric. I see you, Matthew. Good wrestling match.
Winner: Alexander and Young
Ash by Elegance vs. Havok
Havok with the creepy entrance. Ash’s Concierge says Havok is possessed. He got holy water from Father O’Malley. One of the writers is either old and just referenced Bing Crosby or they referenced a priest accused of sexual abuse. Either is ill-advised. What is Ash’s gimmick? Is she a human perfume bottle? Ash also has garlic. Okay, so is Havok possessed or a vampire? Rosemary drinks the holy water then spits out blood. That was the highlight of the match. Ash wins with a small package even though she did not grab one leg. Hilarious.
A brutal match. Afterwards, Ash attacks Havok with a chair and… garlic.
Winner: Ash by Elegance
Trent The Seventh, The Ball of Speed, and Broken Matt Hardy promo
Hardy gives Trent and Mike Bailey robes. Delete. Delete. Delete.
Joe Hendry vs. Zachary Wentz
We believe in Joe Hendry. “We believe, we believe” chants to start. Hendry with mic work. He celebrates being number 6 on the British charts. Hilarious. Announcer: “Hendry is number one in Malta.”
Winner: Joe Hendry
Laredo Kid vs. Rich Swann was cancelled.
Spitfire w/ Lars Frederickson vs. Masha Slamovich and Alisha Edwards – Women’s Tag Titles
Lars Frederickson, of Rancid, is back on commentary. Jody Threat is a protege of his. She has instant heat with me for her overacting. Alisha does not look like a wrestler, but she has great heel facials and body language. Masha Slamovich shines as the most complete wrestler in the ring. Alisha randomly brings in a kendo stick. We could not go a whole show without one of those.
Winners: Alisha Edwards and Masha Slamovich
Rich Swann vs. Jake Something
Another change to the card. Swann is led out by AJ Francis, aka Top Dolla. They call themselves First Class. Jake Something is a beast. Jake falls for AJ’s distraction making him look like a goof. Jake looks like he has eighty pounds on Swann. He is massive. This match seemed like it went on for an hour. Jake Something sold most of the match. I like Rich Swann but having him beat up Jake Something is ludicrous. Does anyone want to see Godzilla sell for a midsized vehicle?
AJ interferes, bringing out…Cody Deaner. He announces the crowd can decide if it is a DQ finish or if he gets to fight AJ Francis. What is this? Jake Something loses after being beaten up for the entire match. Is he leaving the company?
Winner: Rich Swann
Jonathan Gresham vs. Kushida
Kushida is wearing a Back to The Future 2 outfit. The octopus cometh. Gresham is in a mask for this match. He is fake coughing throughout the early part of the match. I do not know why. The announcer gave a convoluted explanation that I could not follow. Gresham and Kushida are doing mat wrestling. The crowd is dead. The match picked up with some cool reversals. Gresham then starts spitting up…ink. He is an octopus. Do you get it? He uses the ink in plain sight of the referee, but the pin is still counted. Okay. Kushida begins spitting up ink after the match.
Winner: Gresham
Hammerstone vs. Jake Something was cancelled.
PCO and Jordynne Grace vs. Steph De Lander and Kon
PCO out on a gurney. Jordynne Grace uses the defibrillator paddles to reanimate PCO. That was a cool entrance. Kon and Grace are starting the match. So, some male-on-female violence. The ECW nostalgia is real. Kon and PCO have a hard-hitting exchange. PCO hit a moonsault. That was crazy. PCO also did a crazy dive, while Grace showed off her power. Entertaining match.
Winners: PCO and Jordynne Grace
Mustafa Ali vs. Ace Austin – X Division Title
Mustafa Ali is a politician now. So, he has gone back to the 1990s WWF nostalgia. Nice. He can get a little person wrestler to dress like him and be his running mate. The usual match of this type. Lots of flips and dives and moves that should be finishes. A halfhearted “This is Awesome” chant breaks out. I mean the move was cool, but eh. The crowd, which has been a problem all night, is now dead silent after chanting “This is Awesome” a minute ago.
Ace sells an injury to his shoulder. Ali shows some good heel facials and body language as he works over the shoulder. The Secret Service agents randomly jump up on the ring apron. Then they stopped the finish by pulling him from the ring. The ref does nothing about it. Ali brings the belt into the ring. Nothing is done. Boring match. Dumb finish.
Winner: Mustafa Ali
The System vs. Speedball Mountain and Matt Hardy
The System is out. Each member has a title belt now. Speedball Mountain are dressed like Hardy. A smattering of “delete, delete” chants. Hardly tried a spear, but instead went head-first into his opponent. The announcer mentions the “Broken” gimmick started in 2017. It is better than Jericho changing gimmicks every other week.
In a sad moment, Hardy tried to get the crowd to chant “twist of fate” to little response. Moose did a leap into a Hardy cutter. Looked amazing, but he kicked out at two. Hardy again tried to get a “twist of fate” chant to little response. Speedball leaped off the top rope into a spear by Brian Myers. Looked incredible. Kick out at two. Matt puts Moose through a table. Myers and Edwards with a tandem move for the win.
Winners: The System
Overall, an okay show. I had exceptionally low expectations going in. Especially after watching Impact the night before. Under Siege, however, moved at a good pace. The event from pre-show to finish was just over three hours. They got a little too nostalgic TNA with burying Jake Something and then Gresham winning by ink, but the rest was not that bad. Even the Ash by Elegance match was silly enough that it was funny instead of frustrating.
The unannounced changes to the card were unprofessional. Even if Hammerstone had to drop off the card minutes before showtime, this could have been managed better. His match was still being advertised on their twitter account an hour before the show. It is not an event to go out of your way to see, but it was fine.
