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Impact: It’s a beautiful night for a Monster’s Ball

Boris Roberto Aguilar

Greetings and Salutations! As Bob is away doing Bob things, I have stepped in to take an old familiar show to report on. This week on TNA Impact we have Crazzy Steve taking on Laredo Kid for theDigital Media championship. We also have Josh Alexander sounding off on Alex Hammerstone. Oh, and we also have a contract signing! What can go wrong in a contract signing? It’s sure to be civil segment right? We have  Jordynne Grace and Steph De Lander signing their contract for Rebellion. So Without further ado, let’s get to it!

The show opens with Josh Alexander and Hammerstone brawling inside the IMPACT Zone (yeah, I’m using that again) in Philadelphia. As they brawl it out, Alexander starts bleeding and as he’s forced to taste his own blood, Tommy Dreamer comes down to try and restore order.

Dreamer can’t so he goes to his own plan B and gets on the mic to talk about Hammerstone. Dreamer was impressed with what Hammerstone has done in TNA so far. Dreamer says they have a show to get to! Dreamer thought he was safe, but just like the NXT parking lot, he gets attacked by Hammerstone. Alexander runs back down to make the save and then tells Hammerstone that their Rebellion match will be Last … Man … Standing.

TNA Digital Media Championship: Crazzy Steve (c) VS Laredo Kid

Laredo Kid could not keep up with the always unpredictable Crazzy Steve. Steve mauls and runs down Laredo. Laredo makes a brief comeback and the two trade pin attempts. Laredo Kid continues to work over Steve and springboards off the middle rope to land a Moonsault on Steve.

That was pretty much it as Steve gets back to work on Laredo Kid. As the outright assault is happening, Steve tries to rip off the mask of Laredo Kid, but that didn’t sleep well with him and he beats down on Steve. The ref tries to step in but its a Sopranos Style lesson that Kid is delivering to Steve. Laredo Kid pushes the ref off and the ref calls the match!

Winner: Crazzy Steve (c) by DQ

Backstage, Time Machine all talks about their recent issues and losses. They put it all behind them with a hug….

ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey) VS First Class (AJ Francis & Rich Swann)

Francis is really showcased in this match. Francis just has his fun on Austin as he rips him a part. Austin is cut off from him partner as Francis and Swann continue to beat him down. Austin is able to break away from the attack and gets the hot tag to his partner, Chris Bey.

Bey takes out Swann and is poised to clean house, but that is not the case as Francis hits World’s Strongest Waist Slam with Ace in his hands and Bey on his shoulders. Moments later, Francis ends up on the outside of the ring and Bey leaps out and lands on him. Bey and Austin go for 2 Sweet, but Swann hits Bey with a cutter to break it all up. Swann then rolls Ace up with a handful of tights to get the win.

Winners: First Class

After the match, Joe Hendry comes out and challenges Rich Swann to a match at Rebellion.

Iceman and Ash By Elegance are with Santino. They try to trick Santino into into signing Ash for a Knockouts title match at Rebellion. Santino says it’s not going to happen.

Ali sends a message to Jake Something but Jake has a rebuttal for Ali.

Knockouts Contract Signing

Santino calls out Jordynne Grace and Steph De Lander (w/ Matt Cardona). Cardona takes the mic and says that he will speak on behalf of SDL. After some Cardona things, SDL takes the mic and says that Jordynne Grace has had a busy year. SDL then says that she’s been busy too. Grace promises to work harder and retain her title at Rebellion as she cements her legacy in Wrestling. Grace reminds everyone that she has already beaten SDL, her boyfriend (Cardona), and even Cardona’s wife (Chelsea Green).

Grace signs the contract and offers a handshake, but she doesn’t let go. SDL rams Grace into the table and a brawl breaks out. Grace with a tackle and Santino gets knocked down in the scuffle. SDL with a Chokeslam to Grace through the table…

Backstage we see Alisha, Myers, and Edwards. They interrupt Masha Slamovich and ask about the offer of teaming up. Masha says something in Russian and then leaves.

We see another vignette for Jonathan Gresham as he is back in TNA.

Moose (W/Eddie Edwards) VS Trent Seven (W/ Mike Bailey)

Moose controls a lot of the match and chops the heck out of Seven. Edwards jumps on the apron and Bailey strikes him off the apron. Seven hits a Lariat on Moose and gets a 2-count. Seven is on the path to victory until Moose Spears Seven and picks up the win.

Winner: Moose

Bailey is surrounded by The System. The system takes out Bailey. Time Machine runs down and make the save as The System runs in retreat.

Backstage, The System and Speedball Mountain get into a brawl. Santino, who has been busy tonight runs in and stops people from fighting for long enough to announce System vs. Machine Guns for next week, and Speedball Mountain will face the winners at Rebellion. Decay walks up to Santino and they are invoking their rematch Claus against Spitfire at Rebellion.

James Drake (W/Zack Gibson) VS Jake Something

Jake gets us started and controls most of the match. Gibson distracts the ref and Drake hits a huge Dropkick. Deaner early on, but Gibson provides a distraction brief enough for Drake to hit a dropkick. Deaner has seen enough and runs down. Deaner trips Gibson off the apron. Something hits Into the Void on Drake for the win.

Winner: Jake Something

Mustafa Ali comes out and says Jake doesn’t belong in the X-Division and he thinks the entire division needs rules and parameters. Something heard enough and he attack Ali’s people and is about to hit Into the Void on Ali, but GYV hit Grit Your Teeth followed by Ali smashing the belt over Something’s head.

Monster’s Ball: PCO VS Kon

The match ends up outside of the ring early on. Both Kon and PCO throw their opponent all over the place including barricades, ring frame, steps and more. Kon grabs a kendo stick and uses it against PCO. Kon then chokes PCO with the Kendo Stick. Once he’s done with that, Kon looks for another weapon and grabs a trash can. Kon puts a trash can over PCO’s head and punches it with a chain wrapped fist.

PCO comes back and Body Slams Kon on the apron. PCO then grabs a Baking Sheet and hits Kon over the head with it. PCO places Kon on a table at ringside. PCO then does a Swanton out to the floor through the table with Kon on it. PCO grabs a Kindo stick and hits Kon over the head with it. PCO sets up a ladder onto a first ladder to create quite the contraption. Kon fights back and throws PCO onto the standing ladder, but that wasn’t enough as Kon then tosses PCO through a ladder at ringside. Kon grabs a bag and pours thumb tacks over the ring mat, and grabs some and shoves some into PCO’s mouth. fights Kon off and spits the tacks out of his mouth, then Chokeslams Kon onto the tacks. PCO climbs the ropes and does a PCOsault for the win.

Winner: PCO

And that is the show!

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