Fatus, blood feud spotlight GCW show as a Punjabi Prison match is signed

Mance Warner’s war with his former best friends escalated into a bloody bull rope match at GCW’s Touch the Sky. Warner stooped to a new low even for him. He attacked Allie Katch’s mother.

We weren’t sure why Allie Katch wasn’t wearing street gear in this bull rope match considering how hardcore it is supposed to be and not sure why this is the main event considering Christian was defending the world title but what do we know?

Fans at ringside flip off Mance and get into his face often. The bull rope looks more like some kind of tow cable than an actual bull rope. Mance warns Katch that the crowd doesn’t care about her and neither does Effy. If she wants to be a superstar she has to do what is really best for herself. “I am the family you have been looking for,” he says. Allie hugs Mance as she cries and cries. Mance laughs at the crowd. Allie hauls off kicking him in the “lower abdomen”. What did Mance expect when he stuck her with a screwdriver in the head and tried to light her on fire, eh?

Mance hits Allie with the cowbell right in the head and puts a steel chair over her face and stomps on it. Allie comes up bleeding. He rakes the edge of the bell over her forehead. Mance pulls out a package of wooden skewers from under the ring. Allie hurls a chair at Mance hitting him in the head. Allie opens the bag of skewers pounding them into Mance’s forehead with her hand. Mance jams one of the skewers into Allie’s head and her mouth. Allie whips Mance into a door set-up in one of the corners. She spears him through another one for a two count. Mance chokeslams Allie through two steel chairs. She kicks out.

Mance: Allie, stay the f–k down!

Allie kicks out of a running knee strike. Mance demands that the official lay a count down on Allie. Allie reaches her feet giving Mance the finger. Mance pounds Allie in the head over and over with the cowbell. Mace removes himself from the bull rope. He pulls a bin out from under the ring, roots through it forever before finding a pair of shears or scissors. A concerned Effy comes down to the ring. Mance throws Allie the scissors demanding she attack Effy. Effy holds Mance in position for Allie. Allie hits Effy with the scissors instead. Mance handcuffs Effy to a turnbuckle then beats him with a steel chair. Mance drives the scissors into Allie’s forehead.

Allie’s mother runs into the ring to protect her daughter from Mance’s onslaught. Mance just walks away from the match. He heads to the back. He returns moments later. Mance smashes the scissors into the head of Allie’s mom. She is left knocked out in the middle of the ring.
In the GCW World Championship match, Blake Christian put out the fire that is Fuego Del Sol.

Prior to the match Fuego Del Sol claimed that he needed to prove himself by beating GCW World Champion Blake Christian. Part of that was his mindset after AEW terminated his contract last year. Del Sol had nothing bad to say about Tony Khan after his departure just that he thought that he never won Khan over during his time in AEW.

The fans were clearly on Del Sol’s side hoping for a title change. While they saw an extremely athletic contest between two really sharp and quick-on-the-trigger superstars,  Christian once again managed against all odds to hold onto the gold mostly because he dictated the pace of the bout such as when he stopped Sol from taking flight by shoving him off the top rope to the arena floor below.

Christian took the fight to the floor slamming Sol’s head over and over again into a steel chair before DDTing him on the arena floor before heading back into the ring to pose and dance. Sol put together a series of moves including a running spear in a corner and shooting star press off the top rope to the floor as he pulled out all the stops to dethrone Christian. He could only score a two count though.

Christian stunned the crowd kicking out of Sol’s Tornado DDT. Christian smacked into an exposed turnbuckle and was spiked with another Tornado DDT. Christian stopped the count by having the wherewithal to drape his leg over the bottom rope. It was Sol’s turn to surprise the crowd by taking a brainbuster on the exposed buckle but kicking out at two. Christian would pin Sol seconds later though with a stomp.

Another highlight of the card was Jacob Fatu & Zilla Fatu taking on Los Macizos (Ciclope & Miedo Extremo).

That match has more utterings of the word “motherf—-r” than any match I have ever seen and I have witnessed tons of New Jack’s matches so that says something. Before the match even begins there is a door sitting in a corner and Miedo has armed himself with a steel chair. As they are being introduced Ciclope spears Jacob through the door. Miedo hits Zilla in the head with the steel chair. Zilla pulls both of them to the floor. Jacob dives over the top rope onto them. Ciclope is tossed into a ring post and so is Miedo. Both teams battle on the floor. Miedo slides another door into the ring. The Fatus double-team Ciclope nailing him with a double elbow drop. Zilla powerbombs Miedo through the door. Cicolpe prevents a pinfall with a steel chair to the back of Jacob. Los Macizos flapjack Jacob through a table. Zilla stop any hope of a pinfall.

Miedo stops Zilla’s Samoan Spike by biting his hand. Los Macizos give Jacob a Doomsday through a door put between two chairs. Jacob survives that and tosses Miedo into the air so that Zilla can nail him with a leaping Samoan Spike for the win. A really great tag team match.

Later in the show, after the tag champs Violence Is Forever (Dominic Garrini & Kevin Ku) defeated challengers Monstersauce (Alex Zayne & Lance Archer) the duo proclaimed  they will take on anyone at anytime, anywhere. That was the cue for the Bollywood Boyz to come out. Garrini congratulated them on their first win in GCW earlier in the night but didn’t believe that qualified them for a championship match but he is a fair man so he will hear them out, naturally. Los Macizos arrived on the scene. The Boyz thought they should have a three-way match for the titles at GCW Spring Break. Out come the Fatus. The Boyz welcome the Fatus to the match but they want a Punjabi Prison match. Ku tells everyone to do something physically impossible to one another but said Violence Is Forever would honor that deal and that match. The announcers confirm that the match will happen on night two of Joey Janela’s Spring Break: Clusterf–k Forever on April 6th.

GCW Touch The Sky Results

Jordan Cruz, Kari Wright & Max Heights vs. SGCunt (1 Called Manders, Effy and Sawyer Wreck)

Heights has some great agility but splits when the bull Manders tags in. Cruz, bull himself, sizes up decently against Manders as he is just a lot quicker. When Wright tags in he slaps Sawyer Wreck. Wreck takes on Heights, Cruz and Wright all by herself. Manders and Wreck take turns chopping Wright’s chest into hamburger. Cruz summons the spirit of the Ultimate Warrior shaking those ropes before he clears the top rope taking out Effy with a dive. Cruz, Wright and Heights all drop kick Manders at the same time. Manders blocks a double suplex sending both Crus and Heights down. Wreck double chokeslams both Heights and Wright. Effy pins Wright with a Super Sac Rider.

Winners: SGCunt (1 Called Manders, Effy and Sawyer Wreck)

Aramis, Microman & Oni El Bendito vs. Los Desperados (Arez, Gringo Loco & Latigo)

Some good lucha stuff and some lame lucha stuff. Microman does well when his foes gets on their knees though. Desperados get booed when they all stomp Microman into the mat. Microman is thrown into Gringo. He hurracanranas him. An annoying thing, Emil Jay keeps calling him “Meecro-Man”. The Desperados almost get the pin when they slingshot Aramis off the top rope into Loco’s sit-out powerbomb. A very nice move. In the end, Desperados’ teamwork is the difference maker as Aramis is powerbombed, cuttered and splashed at the same time in an very impressive showing by Los Desperados. We need a team-up between El Desperado and Los Desperados.

Winners: Los Desperados (Arez, Gringo Loco & Latigo)

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We get a segment with Matt Cardona wearing an FBI jacket in an interrogation room ripping into Broski Jimmy for not living up to the Bro Code with his scraggily beard and not remembering to shower after his matches. Yes, he should have his bro card revoked.

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Broski Jimmy Lloyd  vs. Billie Starkz

Before the match can begin Jimmy pulls out a piece of paper with a promo that Cardona specifically crafted for him to practice his microphone skills. It is part of his broski training, don’t you know?

His promo goes a little something like this:”I am so happy to be here in Dallas but it is not because I like Dallas. Let’s be honest, it is a s–thole. Show me some respect. The only good thing to ever happen here in Dallas is that my broski Matt Cardona won the Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania. Matt Cardona is a superstar and he is saving my career. I have to follow his guidance and follow his advice otherwise I will be an indie jabroni forever. So, tonight, show me some respect. Tonight I am going to take his advice and start my road to super stardom as I take on someone who thinks they are a TV superstar but in reality Billie Starkz, you are not a TV superstar. You are just on a YouTube show.

Starkz rips up the speech and throws the pieces at Jimmy. Starkz dives at Jimmy knocking him into the front row twice. Jimmy side-steps Starkz sending her into a steel post. Jimmy picks her up off the floor and hurls her into the first row.

Jimmy does some push-ups while choking Starkz on the mat. Starkz avoids Jimmy’s charge. He ends up crotching himself on the ropes. Jimmy hits the Browski Boot for a two count. Jimmy puts up his knees to block Starkz’s swanton off the top rope. A couple of suplexes doesn’t keep Jimmy down as he hits back with a Rough Ryder. Jimmy grabs the Internet Championship belt. He takes a swing at Starkz. Starkz ducks booting him in the head. She pins Jimmy with a swanton.

Winner: Billie Starkz

The Bollywood Boyz versus Garbage Daddies (Alec Price and ‘Raddy Daddy’ Cole Radrick)

The Boyz are having great fun dancing in the audience. The crowd dances along with them. Good to see the Boyz, fellow Canadians back on my TV screen. The crowd’s support is divided between both teams. Gurv outwrestles Raddy right out of the gate. The Garbage Daddies win back the advantage by double-teaming both Boyz. The Boyz fight back with a pair of Sharpshooters. The Boyz take a time out and seats in the crowd. The Boyz get on the microphone saying it is “hockey rules” tonight. The crowd starts turning on The Boyz.

Gurv: We can see your faces and none of you came to see wrestling tonight. What you want to see is some Bollywood dancing.

Some boo and some cheer as the dancing begins. Price and Daddy get into it until they are attacked from behind and knocked out of the ring. Now, the boos rain down on the Boyz. The fight goes to the floor. The Boys pull out some steel chairs from under the ring. Daddy and Price are sat down but reverse things sending the Boyz into the chairs. Parrow appears standing on the stage with a steel chain in his hands. Price shouts at Parrow. Daddy convinces him to head back into the ring. The Boyz score a quick win with a backbreaker over the knee, flying elbow smash off the top rope combination. Parrow chokeslams Price on the apron and then skulks off.

Winners: The Bollywood Boyz

Jacob Fatu & Zilla Fatu vs. Los Macizos (Ciclope & Miedo Extremo)

Winners: Jacob Fatu & Zilla Fatu

Joey Janela vs. Sam Stackhouse

The running joke of this match is that Janela cannot pick up or move the of bulk of a man that is Stackhouse. Janela gets the pin with a double stomp on a steel chair laid out on Stackhouse’s chest.

Winner: Joey Janela

Violence Is Forever (Dominic Garrini & Kevin Ku) (c) vs. Monstersauce (Alex Zayne & Lance Archer)

Monstersauce sure is making the rounds in the indies. Both are so talented they should be with promotions who will use them properly like NJPW did. Zayne is announced as fighting out of the “closest Taco Bell drive-through”. Archer gets a big pop when it is announced that he calls Dallas, Texas, home. Garrini and Zayne trade chops. Zayne actually knocks Garrini down. Zayn almost pins Garrini when Archer slams him down on top of him.

When Ku is in he starts targeting Zayne’s ankle as the crowd chants: Archer’s gonna kill you! Zayne is cut off from Archer absorbing a ton of damage. Archer is knocked off the apron by Garrini before he tag in. Ku tries to suplex Archer to the floor. Archer suplexes him into the ring instead. Archer chokeslams Zayne onto Garrini but Garrini catches Zayne delivering elbows to his head. Violence Is Forever are booed when they pin Zayn with Chasing the Dragon.

Winners: Violence Is Forever 

John Wayne Murdoch vs. Pagano

There are steel chairs and barbed wire boards in the ring before the bell even rings. Pagano puts a barbed wire door between two chairs on the floor. Pagano leaps onto the Murdoch. Murdoch sidesteps and Pagano put himself through the door. Fans hand Murdoch money so he can staple the bills to Pagano with his staple gun. Murdoch nails one bill to Pagano’s forehead. Pagano  slams Murdoch on a barbed wire door with a Spanish Fly from the top rope. Murdoch places a “crown of barbed wire” on Pagano’s head. He then puts a claw on Pagano’s “lower abdomen”. Pagano belly-to-belly suplexs Murdoch on another barbed wire door. Murdoch staples Pagano’s tongue. He puts Pagano away with a brainbuster on a steel chair.

Winner: John Wayne Murdoch

Blake Christian (c) vs. Fuego Del Sol – GCW World Title Match

Winner: …and still GCW World Heavyweight Champion…Blake Christian.

Mance Warner vs. Allie Katch – Texas Bullrope Match

Winner: Not Allie’s mom. No contest?!?!?!?