NWA POWERRR: Titles, thumpings, and Thrillrides aplenty on The CW

There was quite the fanfare last week as the National Wrestling Alliance kicked off their debut on The CW app with the Ultimate Match of Death in the main event. So how do you top that?  With multiple championship matches on the line, among the big ones being the NWA Television Title Unification match between Big Strong Mims and Max the Impaler as well as the NWA National title up for grabs as “Thrillbilly” Silas Mason puts up “The Natty” against Burchill.

Speaking of which, there is a nice vignette on Burchill’s journey getting back to the squared circle in the NWA, and why his kids are the main reason he wanted to return with a purpose.

We come to you once again from Revolution Live in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. Joe Galli and Danny Dealz have the call as we start the show with this First Match of the night…

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Trevor Murdoch and Mike Knox vs The Southern Six (Kerry Morton and Alex Taylor, with Ricky Morton)

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Murdoch and Morton start things off and “Captain Badass” proves why he thus aptly named.  Morton tries to get in their face but Murdoch brings him down with a pop-up powerbomb.  Knox tags in and just manhandles him, and then follows suit with Taylor to boot.  Knox and Murdoch just beat down Taylor mercilessly, and do not let up.  Murdoch goes to hit the ropes and Ricky trips him up on the outside, and that distraction gives the opening for The Southern Six need to bring down the big man, and he is a Badass in Peril.  Taylor goes for a corner splash and Murdoch catches him for a spinebuster.  That creates the separations he needs to get the hot tag and Knox is en Fuego on The Southern Six.  Moprton gets dumped out, and Knox and Murdoch set up and knock down Taylor with the high/low tackle, but before they can capitalize on their double-team finisher Ricky pulls out the ref to stop the count.  Now Knox and Murdoch get to brawling with The Southern Six across the floor of Revolution and the ref realizes he’s lost control of the match and finally calls it.

Match is Over via Double Disqualification

Even after the bell is rung, all five men are still brawling despite security trying to restore order and pleas for control.

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While that chaos tries to get settled, May Valentine is backstage with The Immortals and their thoughts on facing The Slimeballz for the NWA US Tag Team belts. Kratos doesn’t mince words as he explains that it doesn’t matter who they face whether it’s the current NWA Tag Team champs, Blunt Force Trauma, or anyone else.  He does give a message to The Slimeballz and says “The rejects” better have brought paramedics after they face him and Odinson.

Witness, indeed.

Now for the…

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NWA Television Title Unification Match: Max the Impaler(with Father James Mitchell)(c) vs. Big Strong Mims(c)

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This is a no time limit match between Mims and Max, as opposed to the 6:05 time limit, but the rest of the Television rules still apply.  Before we head into the match, I feel like this is a good time for my patented…

(Author’s Rant:  As I type this recap, I can already hear the naysayers on this match:  “This is not right!”  “This defies tradition!” “Billy Corgan is making a mockery of the NWA!”  “Why should a trans even have a title, let alone wrestle men, when they won’t identify a gender?  Pick a side!”

Ok, I will pick a side:  It doesn’t matter how Max identifies themself and Max has as much right as anyone else in the squared circle.  If I ever have a quibble, it’s only if they booked Max in a corner they may not be able to get out of, but I am curious what options there will be afterward.  I’m more passionate if a wrestler, man or woman, can’t carry themselves in the ring, on the mic, or gets curtain-jerked by lazy booking/writing.  That last one is especially true, and I have given haikus, squash recipes, and limericks to such laziness.  Gender and gender orientation have f*** all to do with anything in the squared circle in my book.  I might need to expand on this further in a Mat Matters, but for all of you keyboard critics that have issues with binary/non-binary issues, especially in this foul year of hot topic politics, I hope these words I utter find their way into the grey matter of you:

I respect your right to opine on the matter, but please know you are wrong and will always be wrong!  End Rant.)

Fans chant for “Max” at the beginning, which is interesting for several reasons, chief among them that it’s happening in Florida.  Hey, go figure. 

They tie up and neither one is gaining ground on the other.  They grapple to the outside and then Max slams his head on the steel steps.  Max tosses Mims back in and slugs away at his head, but he comes back with a flying shoulder tackle to cover for a one count.  Max gets back the upper hand and nails a Senton to cover for a count of one.  Max continues to pummel Mims but he powers up to a vertical base and nails Max with his forearms to the side of their head.  He tries a Big Strong Slam, but Max bites his arm to break the attempt and then knocks him into the corner.  Max unleashes a corner splash followed by a cannonball, and then climbs up top and finishes with a Vader Bomb.  The ref starts to count but sees Mims’ foot crossed the rope plane, so he stops.  Mims fires back at their midsection, then gets in the ref’s grill, and slams Max to the mat for a close two count.  He continues to press the attack until a flash spear by Max drops him and both wrestlers are down.  Max is the first to rise and come back with a powerbomb but Mims backdrops them and whips into the corner followed by a splash and then he climbs up top with mounted punches to the head.  Max then picks up Mims and sends him crashing down with a powerbomb and stacks up for a historic pin.

Your Winner, and Undisputed Television Champion:  Max The Impaler

After the match, Max gives Mims a lariat to send a message to any other future challengers. Welcome to the Wasteland, folks.

Speaking of people getting wasted, your next match is for the…

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NWA US Tag Team Championship: The Immortals (Odinson and Kratos)(c) vs. The SlimeBallz (Tommy Rant and Sage Chantz)

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Now I realize everything about this match screams Haiku in Review.  I realize this.

However, I am a sucker at watching schadenfreude play in realtime to those that deserve it.  What can I say?  It’s the German in me.

Chantz (foolishly) talks trash at Odinson and wants Kratos in the ring.  He shrugs and tags in The Most Feared, and he slaps the taste out of Chatrz’s mouth.  Kratos launches him across the ring with a suplex, and again in the opposite direction for good measure.  Chatz is less a Slimeball and more like wet putty as Kratos gives a superplex the hard way.  Now he tags back in Odinson and he gives uppercuts aplenty as well as following up with a launching fisherman’s suplex in a bit of one-upmanship with his tag partner.  Chantz tries a sunset flip and Odinson picks him up from the mat and nails him with a deadlift suplex.  Rant finally tags in and gets some offense in.  It almost looks like The Slimeballz are going to take Odinson to Slimeball City…for five seconds before Odinson gives The Pounce to Rant and The Immortals grant Immortality (a flying European uppercut, electric chair combo similar to the Doomsday Device) to Rant.

Your Winners, and Still NWA US Tag Team Champions:  The Immortals

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Valentine now speaks to Burchill about what motivates him to step back in the ring. Burchill acknowledges he stepped away for thirteen years, but now he wants to wrestle for a purpose and that’s his kids. The NWA presented him with that option, and he took it.  Burchill also gives props to the Thrillbilly but wants to also give the advice that British greats like Robbie Brookside, Dave Taylor, Steven Regal, and Drew McDonald told him before: “Thrillbilly, grit your teeth.”

Now it’s time for the Main Event, and it is for the…

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NWA National Championship: “Thrillbilly” Silas Mason(c) vs. Burchill

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Mason comes out, and Dealz remarks, “He’s ready for the Kumite.”  Galli also gives The Southern Six member props for his role as Terry “Bam Bam” Gordy on The Iron Claw.

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The bell rings and it’s off to the races.  They lock up and Mason powers Burchill into the corner.  He slaps him hard, followed by a spinning body slam to Burchill.  Burchill fires back, knocks the big man down, and tackles him in the corner.  He rushes right into a big boot and Mason dumps him hard on the outside.  The ref begins the count, and Burchill manages to come back to his feet.  Mason continues the punishment, giving him southpaw chops that knock the wind out of the Brit, followed by a backdrop. He runs the ropes right into a clothesline and covers him for a two count.

He bites his face and Mason tries to injure his fingers in the turnbuckle hooks.  As he tries to shake the feeling back in his hand, Mason goes for a powerbomb but it gets reversed into a sunset flip by Burchill for a two count, and then he gets leveled with another clothesline by Big Daddy Thrill.  Mason tosses Burchill like a sack of potatoes and rushes at him, but The Ripper fires back with shots to the face.  He hits the ropes and Mason catches him with a flapjack followed by a powerbomb for another two count.  Mason attempts to put him away but Burchill connects with a side belly to belly suplex and both men are down on the mat.  Burchill manages to get back up his feet and lands a running knee for the one, two…oh, so close.  Burchill fires himself up and the crowd.  He rushes right at him but Mason manages to deliver Burchill a Thrill Ride and it’s over in one, two, and three.

Your Winner, and Still NWA National Champion:  “Thrillbilly Silas Mason

The Southern Six member stands tall in the ring triumphantly holding “The Natty” as the show goes to the credits.