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SmackDown: Bodies are laid to waste prior to the Royal Rumble

Man, does it feel soo good to see Michael Cole on SmackDown, even if it’s only for tonight on the eve of the Royal Rumble. Latin Grammy-winning multi-platinum rapper and songwriter Eladio Carrion introduces Randy Orton to the stage, Orton who inspired the song ‘RKO’ by Carrion.

Randy is here to talk about the Bloodline. Whether you hate them or not, they’ve had one hell of a reign supremacy in this industry that I don’t think could ever be matched, but Roman’s rule is “unfathomable” to Orton. Something he’ll try to decimate tomorrow and be the first to do it in three years, almost four. Becoming a 15-time World Champion while he’s at it.

Ha! Randy’s face when he heard AJ Styles’ theme music playing was priceless. Anyway, according to Styles, Randy might have looked pass the fact that there are other bodies in this equation such as himself. Orton’s chances could easily be taken away by AJ or LA Knight.

And since we love saying people’s names too much, the Megastar has joined the chatroom. Ha! LA Knight thinks that all Styles has been doing since his return is whine, cry and complain. Maybe just a little.

It’s a bit odd, don’t you think, that only LA Knight has a match with the Enforcer of the Bloodline rather than everyone who’s meant to be a threat to Roman? Knight believes that Heyman orchestrated the match because the Megastar is the bigger threat.

And then he left. Seeing as LA Knight is no longer inside the ring, AJ delivers a pele kick to Randy given he had a receipt coming his way. Orton was so loopy after that, that he almost wobbled in front of the camera while Cole was talking. Ha!


Carlito vs. Santos Escobar


Carlito hammers away at Santos first in the early goings of the match as he makes sure to trap Escobar every chance he gets. Santos turns the tied by forcing Carlito to hit his head against the middle turnbuckle then a suicide dive follows suit.

Later on, Escobar is seen removing Carlito’s shirt piece by piece as the audience chants “Santos sucks!” He wanted to snap Carlito’s arm even further then when he injured it last November. Carlito manages to avoid that coming wave.

After that Huricarana by Santos, he continues to punish Carlito by targeting the injured arm. Carlito counters with a spinning neck breaker. Lito had the upper hand until Humberto distracted the official, so Angel could cause Carlito to slip through the ropes and land on the floor.

That angers Joaquin Wilde to attack Angel while Cruz Del Toro took on Humberto. And as if things couldn’t get any more messed up, Elektra Lopez assaults Zelina Vega. Well, all that was missing was a girl to join Escobar.

Escobar takes advantage by rolling Lito up and secures the victory. Apparently, Lopez used to be in Legado del Fantasma down in NXT. Maybe this is her SmackDown debut as part of the group again.

Winner: Santos Escobar


Well, well, well, I’m in shock. Netflix will play host to Monday Night RAW in 2025. Also, The Rock has been appointed to UFC, WWE’s TKO group Board of Directors.

Backstage, Jimmy attempts to make a deal with AJ Styles that he should help the Bloodline get rid of LA Knight, so it could benefit everyone, including the Phenomenal One. Styles doesn’t shake hands with Jimmy due to the interruption of the O.C.


Kayden Carter & Katana Chance (c) vs. The Kabuki Warriors – WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship match


The second the bell rings, Kayden delivers a drop kick to Asuka. Carter tags her partner, Katana, as they play multiple double teams against the Empress of Tomorrow.

Chance sends a deep arm drag to Kairi Sane as she wanted to get involved then sends one to Asuka as well. Katana even performs a corkscrew dive to their challengers.

Of course, at some point, the Kabuki Warriors turned the tied on the champs. A series of vicious strikes and enthusiasm while they’re at it. Chance fights back with a few right hands to the jaw of Asuka.

Katana was in desperate need of a tag as Asuka applies the ankle lock. Chance manages to get free herself and tags Kayden, who leaps from the top and crashes on the Kabuki Warriors.

Kairi is now legal as she and Asuka double team on Carter. Sane covers Kayden, and they almost won if it weren’t for Katana’s quick interference. Asuka nearly stopped Chance as well, luckily, she didn’t. She missed. Ha!

Sane looks for the Insane Elbow, yet as she comes down from the top, Carter’s legs were up and connects with that instead.

Asuka is tagged in and misses with a sliding kick to Carter. Kayden applies pressure onto Asuka’s arm then plants her face first. The champs almost retain the gold with the Keg Stand, but Kairi thwarts their efforts.

Sane sends Katana’s neck and back against the announce table while Kayden rolls Asuka up. It wasn’t enough since Carter was now alone as Kairi delivers the Insane Elbow and wins the gold for her team.

Carter and Chance may have lost, but you can’t discredit them since they fought amazingly.

Winners: The Kabuki Warriors


In the Bloodline locker room, Heyman tells Solo Sikoa to not be merciful tonight. That he needs to fix the problem that is LA Knight prior to the Rumble. Heyman also tells Jimmy to seize his moment by entering the Rumble, winning it and challenging the Visionary Seth Rollins for the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania 40.

The Street Profits and Bobby Lashley have had enough of the Final Testament’s scary mind games, so they call them out. Scarlett leads the way for this collection of intimidating individuals.

Karrion says they’re not fighting tonight, but Lashley begs to differ as the Profits go after the Final Testament at the entryway while Scarlett attempts to blind Bobby. Kross takes advantage of the disturbing screeching and sends Lashley into the post.

Oh, and never mind asking how the Profits are doing because they’re getting their asses beat pretty badly by AoP as we speak. Oof, whatever flame they had, Lashley, Ford and Dawkins were extinguished.


Carmelo Hayes vs. Austin Theory


After what happened last time these two battled, Theory shoves Hayes out of anger. Lest we forget, it was Grayson Waller who put Austin in this position in the first place. If there’s anyone who deserves to get his ass pushed, it’s Waller.

Melo retaliates tenfold with a drop kick and some chops. Alas, Theory was mad when he delivered a knee to Hayes’ stomach. Theory is such a diva as he takes his time to get back inside the ring. He distracts the official, so Waller could cheap shot Melo.

Theory goes down in a move we’re not sure what to call by Carmelo, but it looked like an inverted DDT to me. Anyway, Grayson has played too much of a facture in this match, so much so that he helped Theory yank Melo from the top.

Austin performs a maneuver that has put many away, but not Melo. Not today.

Arg! Unfortunately, Theory steals a win due to Waller’s interference again and grabbing onto Hayes’ gear to force him down during a roll up. Soon after, it became a two-on-one assault where Melo was getting ploughed. Luckily, Trick Williams came to assist.

Williams didn’t look too happy when Hayes wanted a fist bump. According to Trick, he only saved Carmelo because they have a match next Tuesday in the semi-finals of the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic against the LWO’s Joaquin Wilde and Cruz Del Toro.

Winner: Austin Theory


For the men’s Royal Rumble we already have Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre, Damian Priest, CM Punk, Bobby Lashley, Gunther, Santos Escobar, Shinsuke Nakamura, Kofi Kingston, Jimmy Uso, and R-Truth.

As for the women’s side of things, Bianca Belair, Bayley, Nia Jax and Becky Lynch are confirmed. I personally want to see Roxanne Perez, Michin, Ivy Nile, Shayna Baszler, Zoey Stark, AJ Lee, Raquel Rodriguez, Xia Li, Natalya, Tegan Nox take part.


Solo Sikoa vs. LA Knight


I reckon that when Heyman said that Sikoa has to “fix” the problem, as Jimmy made clear earlier when speaking to Styles, is to break LA Knight so badly, so inhumanely, therefore Knight can’t compete tomorrow. God forbid.

This battle is at a bit of a standstill when both men show incredible strength to decimate the other. As Heyman said, don’t be merciful. LA Knight plays it smart as he tries to dismantle Sikoa’s right hand that could deliver the Samoan Spike whenever he pleases.

Due to Jimmy’s little interference, LA Knight flew into Solo’s fist. Ha! I can’t say that wasn’t funny. “Night Knight, LA.” said Corey Graves.

LA Knight manages to get back on top after being on the receiving end of quite the beating, he delivers a Bulldog to Sikoa’s head off the second rope.

Solo retreats to the bottom turnbuckle as LA Knight continues on his pursuit. Jimmy tried to get involved, but Knight quickly discouraged him with a punch to the face. The Megastar was doing well as he bounces Solo’s head against the announce table then delivers a running knee.

When AJ Styles suddenly showed up and sent a Phenomenal Forearm to Knight, I can see he listened to the tiny, poisonous voice that is Jimmy. Uso scarcely hands Styles the chair he was clutching.

The big mistake, however, was Sikoa practically ordering AJ to end Knight. Naturally, Styles went after Solo and Jimmy. The fans kept chanting Randy’s name, wanting him to come out here, and he does.

He uppercuts Styles then power slams Jimmy. Sikoa was looking for the Spinning Solo, yet he gets dropped on the commentary desk instead at the hands of the Viper.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Jimmy tried to run, but he got caught real quick. This girl said please. Ha! Oh, Jimmy Jim, always on the receiving end of something. This time it’s a vintage Orton DDT. Styles suffers that, too, plus an RKO.

Boy, some of y’all thought the night was over after that. No, sir. Ha! LA Knight says his final word with a BFT to Orton. The end, folks.

Winner: No one

 

TOP PHOTO: Sikoa and LA Knight. Courtesy of WWE

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