NWA POWERRR: The Fixers wants to break Blunt Force Trauma

Welcome to the new year, and the National Wrestling Alliance kicks it off in style. Tonight, The Fixers get back in the title game as they challenge Blunt Force Trauma for the NWA World Tag Team Championship. Plus, we will see the National Wrestling Alliance pay tribute to the Universal Heartthrob, Austin Idol, and his contributions to pro-wrestling in the Florida scene.

We Return to the Robarts in Sarasota, FL. Joe Galli, Tim Storm, and Danny Dealz have the call, and your First Match of the year starts with…

Courtesy of the NWA. Credit: Hiban Huerta

Joe Alonzo vs. Alex Misery

Misery is the son of Apolo, a Puerto Rican legend in most wrestling circles down in the Gulf area. Some of you might remember him during his stint when he was a member of LAX as El Leon Apolo. Either way, it’s been a while since he made his debut at the Samhain PPV.

Alonzo has no knowledge nor any respect for his opponent as he pie faces Misery. He gets a good start but Misery counters with a twisting brain buster. Alonzo sends him to the corner but the lanky Misery backflips and has him in a prime position with a fireman’s carry. Alonzo escapes and he chop blocks Misery to cover for a two count and then nails a float over suplex for another count of two. He whips him into the corner but Misery leaps over him and connects with a clothesline and the neckbreaker for a two count. He goes for the fireman’s carry to a TKO and that gets Misery a two count. Wanting to make a big impact, he jumps up the top rope for a moonsault but hesitates a bit getting his balance, and that gives Alonzo time to roll away. He plants Misery with the Face forward Russian legsweep and gets the pin and the win.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Joe Alonzo

Backstage with Kyle Davis is Miss Starr and Chelsea. Starr makes it clear that she is the business with her pedigree and was born to be in the NWA.

As for Chelsea, she is her assistant and handles the menial tasks like “icing my cucumbers” and gets no mic time whatsoever.

(Author’s Rant: Boo! )

But we’ll get to that injustice at a later time, because next up is a Three-way match between…

Courtesy of the NWA. Credit: Hiban Huerta

Anthony Catena (With Chris Silvio, Esq.) vs. Storm Thomas vs. “Magic” Jake Dumas

A few things to unpack here: Thomas is the local fan favorite of Sarasota (and of no relation to Tim Storm, despite Dealz’s words to the contrary). Catena is billed as “Mr. Prime Time”, and according to IMDB.com, he is the great-nephew of Italian mobster Gerardo “Jerry” Catena who ran the Genovese mob in the 1950s and ’60s (!). Silvio is with Catena and it’s unknown if he’s signing with him, but the SVG legal advisor has paperwork. Dumas enters by himself and is not flanked by CJ or his Magic, Inc. tag partner Cody James.

This match is for a number one spot for the NWA Television title, and Dumas takes a swig from his flask and starts to offer it to Thomas, but then spits it in Catena’s face.

(Author’s Note: Never skimp on good alcohol kids.)

Thomas takes it to the Magic Bastard with a twenty-second delayed vertical suplex, but Catena fires back and splashes him in the corner. He stuns Thomas on the top rope and signs something for Silvio. Hey, let’s hear it for multitasking.

Dumas gets back into the mix with an inverted atomic drop to Thomas, but Catena fires back. Then Thomas double clotheslines both men and gives Catena a spinebuster and Dumas a pop-up powerbomb to cover as Catena breaks the ref count. Thomas attempts a Vader Bomb, but Dumas gets his knees up at the last second. Catena then nails Dumas with an elbow drop from halfway across the ring and covers but now Thomas breaks the count. Dumas comes to and sends Catena out of the ring and he delivers the Tombstone Piledriver to Thomas to punch his ticket.

Your Winner via Pinfall: “Magic” Jake Dumas

Time now for the…

Courtesy of the NWA. Credit: Hiban Huerta

Tribute to Austin Idol

Kyle Davis is in the ring and brings out Bobby Fulton. He wants to bury the hatchet with Idol after all these years and wants an end to the bad blood. Out comes Austin Idol, and he says it’s a pleasure to be back in Florida.

Now NWA President Billy Corgan comes out with Nicole Graham, the daughter and granddaughter of Mike and Eddie Graham. Corgan presents a plaque to Idol for his fifty years in the business, and Idol gives a speech as only he can:

“I gotta say a little something here about this.

Fifty years in the business, right? Fifty years in the business, and you’re gonna give me some cheap ass plaque that you probably picked up at WalMart? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No way, man.

Big time. Big money. Big Rock Star.”

Corgan gestures Graham out of the way, and Idol is just getting started.

“Wait, wait a minute. I’m not doing anything to her. You’re the big iconic rock star. Well, let’s tell all these people the truth. I know. Something you don’t know anything about. The truth of the matter is…Hey, Sarasota. No, wait…It’s ‘Suck-a-Sota.’

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s what it really is; ‘Suck-a-Sota.’

Now you’re gonna give me a plaque? You should be giving me a diamond-studded Presidential Rolex watch. You give me a cheap ass plaque like this, and I’m supposed to be over the moon. Oh, this is a plaque for fifty years in the business? What a cheapskate!”

This goes on like this for a bit until Davis says that the production truck advises they have to cut this short, and Idol is still fuming after the cameras fade to the next segment.

Davis is backstage with Trevor Murdoch and Mike Knox. Murdoch has had enough, and he knows he overstepped a few weeks back and needs to be a leader. Knox is dealing with stuff too as “Jeffy the Jackalope” went down south with “Bunny Fou Fou” to take surfing lessons, and that leaves him alone with some strange thoughts.

(Yeah, stranger than that!)

Knox says congrats to The Country Gentlemen for stepping up their game and advises fans to maybe not watch them after they beat AJ and KC Cazana down. He does offer to buy them a beer, provided they’re not in the hospital after they get done.

Now for the Main Event, and it is for the…

Courtesy of the NWA. Credit: Hiban Huerta

NWA World Tag Team Championship: Blunt Force Trauma (Carnage and Damage, with Aron Stevens)(c) vs. The Fixers, LLC. (Jay Bradley and Wrecking Ball Legursky)

Whether you wanna call this a “hoss” fight, or chant, “Meat” like some people do nowadays, know that this match is (to quote Todd Keneley) going to the land of the big uglies.

Legursky and Carnage start and this is the proverbial unstoppable force versus an immovable object. Carnage hammers away at Legursky, and Blunt Force Trauma tries to tackle him but he breaks through. He tags in Bradley and The Fixers levels Damage and Carnage like Michigan’s defense against Alabama.

(You saw the game, and you know I’m right)

Bradley chases after Stevens and he almost catches him, but Damage uses the distraction to attack from behind. They isolate The Boss and he is a Fixer in Peril. All hope seems lost until Bradley suplexes Carnage and gets the hot tag to Legursky who is a Wrecking Ball en Fuego. He regains control of the match until Stevens leaps up on the apron to distract him further, and Carnage delivers a picture-perfect standing dropkick to cover for the one, two, and three.