It’s Saturday night and it’s all right for fighting…but with Christmas right around the corner, I feel overcome by the spirit of the holidays* as I recap this latest AEW Collision

*(Read: I didn’t ratio the rum in my eggnog cocktail correctly. Or did I?)

In any case, it seems only right that we give you a recap worthy of my skills.  No, there shall be no Haikus in Review™. Nor a Rapid Rampage in Review™.

Tonight, cuddle up beside the fire, grab a beverage, and enjoy this first-time rendition of…

‘Twas the Night Before Collision

*ahem*

‘Twas the night before Collision, and all through the arena

Not a creature was stirring(Look up Wrestletix, if ya think we’re ribbin’ ya!)

The Continental Classic ramped up in the Blue League

With great wrestlers hoping to advance and proceed.

 

Bryan Danielson and Claudia Castagnoli kicked off the show,

You can bet Meltzer will give this five stars (if you know, you know).

There were chops, kicks, and submissions, yet it ended in a tie.

But Danielson advanced, which was kinda sly.

Now up on the ramp there arose such a clatter

Because it’s time for a Trios Match (like it would even matter).

On, Darius! On Donte! On Andretti! They’re Top Flight, see?

Now Bowens! Now Caster! And Daddy Ass, Scissor me!

A festive Keith Lee showed Brian Cage he is Limitless,

Then Christian Cage yakked alongside Nick Wayne and his mom Shayna, who’s such a hot mess.

Back to the Classic, Daniel Garcia fought Brody King

And pulls the upset win, with FTR leaving The House of Black scrambling.

And then in a twinkling, women’s tag team was afoot

As Thunder Rosa returned to the ring with Abadon to give Julia Hart and Skye Blue the boot.

With one more Classic match, it was Andrade El Idolo

Facing Eddie Kingston, who’s anything but “tranquilo.”

El Idolo spoke not a word and went straight to work,

But he wouldn’t go down, ’cause he’s a hard-headed jerk.

Kingston got the three count to face Danielson next week on Dynamite

So Merry Christmas to all from AEW Collision this Saturday night!