It’s Saturday night and it’s still all right for fighting (but please take a moment to observe Remembrance Day/Veterans Day, and you can do so by reading the archives of wrestlers who’ve served). On this AEW Collision, Adam Copeland has a tough task ahead with Lance Archer and The Righteous, but he has backup in the form of Darby Allin and Sting.

We’ll see how they fare in six-man tag action, but let’s talk about your…

Rapid Rampage Review in Rhyme™

Been a while since I busted out a limerick, so here ya go.

*ahem*

Ricky Starks speared Preston Vance,

And Red Velvet faced Ruby Soho to get the win over her by chance.

The Kingdom won a match that Roderick Strong dedicated to ADAMMMMM!

FTR went to war with Komander and Vikingo which was full of bedlam.

Is it possible Rampage is getting better, perchance?

A question left for another day, because now it’s time for…

AEW Collision

We come to you from the Oakland Arena in Oakland, CA. Nigel McGuinness and Tony a Schiavone have the call and the First Match of the night is…

Courtesy of AEW.

Andrade El Idolo vs. Daniel Garcia

CJ Perry comes out and looks like she’s in his corner, with Miro looking at the monitor in the back.  on a scale of one to Jada Pinkett/Will Smith, this won’t end well for Andrade.

The bigger El Idolo outwrestles Garcia early on and stays tranquilo, but he’s got moves that aren’t all dancing.  He dumps Garcia out, and Idolo follows and gets a crossbody for two.  Garcia comes back with a sleeper and he sends him into the top turnbuckles. As El Idolo starts to get in, Garcia lands a dragon screw leg whip, and he follows up with a running knee to dump him to the floor.  As he stares down at El Idolo, he then walks up to Perry and dances in front of her to her delight (of ten seconds).

They go back in and El Idolo gets a snap German suplex, and during Picture in Picture they brawl to the floor.  Garcia sets Idolo on a chair and gives him a running dropkick.  As he gets him back in the ring he works over El Idolo’s leg and midsection.  He sets him up on the top turnbuckle for a high-risk maneuver but El Idolo fights back and then knocks Garcia off.  He tries a rollup, but García halts his momentum and cinches an ankle lock.  Idolo writhes but kicks Garcia in his face to release the submission and Garcia follows with a chop block.  Now El Idolo attacks with his own dragon screw leg whip, and then a running forearm shot.  He props Garcia in the corner and gives the double knees to cover for a two count.  He attempts a Moonsault but Garcia trips him up, and now he gives El Idolo double knees to his chest in the corner and lands Chaos Theory, but El Idolo turns it around with Two of the Three Amigos.  The third is blocked and Garcia nails him with a brain buster for two.  Idolo is feeling it, as he goes up top and connects with a feint springboard into a standing moonsault even though Garcia rolls away.  Garcia attacks with a flurry of forearms, But El Idolo knocks him down with a forearm, and the Figure Eight finishes him off.

Your Winner via Submission:  Andrade El Idolo

CJ comes into the ring and embraces Idolo on his victory under her guidance, and Miro still watches on.  As the philosopher Chris Rock would say, Miro is beginning to get some selective outrage.

We get a replay of events from AEW Dynamite, as Bullet Club Gold ran down MJF and then there’s an image of some hooded men attacking The Acclaimed, with one wearing The Devil mask.  As MJF runs but comes too late to save them, Samoa Joe wanders into the picture and remarks his allies are looking thin.

Wonder who’s doing all these shenanigans?  Bigger question, will I be excited or disappointed once I figure out who it is?

Well, one match that does look disappointing is the one with…

Courtesy of AEW.

Nick Wayne (with Christian Cage and Luchasaurus) vs. Dalton Castle (with The Boys)

There are huge Dalton Castle chants, and the Party Peacock takes it to Cage’s “hairless Persian cat.”  Wayne tries to show him up, and Castle gives some amateur moves, along with a T-Bone suplex variation.  He follows with a gutwrench suplex and stares at Cage from ringside.  He continues on offense but Wayne backs him to the ropes and snaps his back.  Wayne works him over with dirty tricks, but Castle counters with a back elbow and a lariat followed by various suplexes.  He attempts the Bangarang, but Wayne blocks his finisher with a rollup for two and tries a springboard back elbow but Castle is there with a release German suplex.  Now Luchasaurus tries to enter the ring and The Boys attempt a save, but get double choke slammed for their troubles.

Wayne uses the distraction to send Castle hard in the corner to hit the ring post and then delivers a second rope cutter to put an end to the Party Peacock.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Nick Wayne

Cage Celebrates with his “son” on his victory.

Adam Page cuts a promo backstage on Swerve Strickland getting in his face, and then crossing the line by going into his house. He wants an end to this and challenges him at Full Gear to a Texas Death Match.

That looks like a sleeper match with all sorts of intensity, and I can’t wait for it.

Speaking of things that are the opposite of intense, your next match is…

Courtesy of AEW.

Rush and Dralistico (with Preston Vance and Jose the Assistant) vs. The Workhorsemen (Anthony Henry and JD Drake)

The fans are behind La Facción Ingorbernable and they look very good.  But facing The Workhorsemen?  Yeah, you know this calls for a Haiku In Review™:

*ahem*

Drake and Henry try

To outwork La Facción.

They’re not Tranquilo.

Your Winners via Pinfall:  Rush and Dralistico

Exciting, wasn’t it?

As for the next exciting match, it’s…

Courtesy of AEW.

Roderick Strong (with Matt Taven and Mike Bennett) vs. Darius Martin

Strong gets wheeled out and McGuinness cheers him on.  He now has glasses and a trash ‘stache to go with the neck brace, but he is still the Messiah of the Backbreaker, even though he implores everyone to observe “Neck Strong November.”

The broad comedy of Strong’s fragile neck is just awesome.  The match, on the other hand, needs to be Haiku’d:

*ahem*

Fans cheer “Neck Strong!”

As Messiah breaks Martin’s

Back, wins it for ADAMMMM!

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Roderick Strong

As The Kingdom comes in and helps Strong with his neck brace, they turn to Martin and give him the “Weiner punch” followed by the spike piledriver. Action Andretti runs out for the save, but Taven and Bennett bail out, their damage already done.

The House of Black appears and Malakai Black challenges Big Bill and Ricky Starks for the AEW World Tag Team belts.  He knows there are others like La Faccion and FTR wanting their shot as well, but the enemy of their enemy is still their enemy, and the House always wins. Hart wonders why Blue and Willow rejected her gift, but she will make an example of Nightingale later tonight.

TonyKhan is with Bryan Danielson, whose left eye is bandaged from Okada’s Rainmaker clothesline breaking the orbital socket.  While Danielson is looking to wind down his career soon, Khan announces he will be at All In at Wembley Stadium in 2024, with tickets going on sale December 1st. Furthermore, Khan also announced that after the Full Gear PPV next Saturday, there will be a Continental Classic tournament on 11/22 with the winner being crowned at AEW World’s End at the end of the year.  The first entrant in the tourney is Danielson, and he is stoked to be in this competition.

Laxy Nair is backstage with Kris Statlander and Willow Nightingale, and she mentions at Full Gear, there will be a three-way match for her TBS championship.  Nightingale and Hart will compete for a spot, and then Red Velvet and Skye Blue next week.  Statlander loves the idea and says she would be honored if Nightingale wins a spot tonight, but she gives the old, “No comment” on Red or Blue. 

That will prove to be interesting.

So let’s see who will get the spot at the TBS title between…

Courtesy of AEW.

Julia Hart vs. Willow Nightingale

They pace around the squared circle and Nightingale tosses her into the corner.  She Goes for a cannonball barking like King, but King pulls Hart out of the way and starts barking back at her.  As she deals with The House of Black member, Hart sneaks from behind and attacks Nightingale but it’s not enough to ground the Babe with the Power.  She gets Hart in the Gory Special and bends her in half.  Hart attempts a huracanrana that gets blocked and Nightingale nails her with a side slam.  As she rolls away, Nightingale goes after her and Hart pulls her out of the ring by her hair.

She gets a suplex by Nightingale on the floor and During Picture in Picture she throws her back in the ring and Hart blindsides again.  She focuses on injuring Nightingale’s arm trying to wrench it from its socket.  They go back and forth as Nightingale comes back with a clothesline that knocks both women down on the mat.  She starts to fire up and Nightingale catches Hart with a hip attack in the corner followed by a lariat, and she finishes it up with a spinebuster for a two count.  Don’t count out Hart as she comes back at her with a hip check and a clothesline to the back of her neck, and attempts the Hartless submission.  She can’t quite cinch it, and Hart attempts to soften her up more and launches her to the ropes, and Nightingale counters with The Pounce.  Hart rolls out again, and Nightingale follows after her.  She gets behind King and blocks her path.  He steps away for a second, and Nightingale slams her head on the steel steps.  She attempts to follow up with a  cannonball on the steps and Hart rolls away as she takes the damage.  As Hart rolls her back in the ring she goes to the top for a high-risk maneuver, but Nightingale catches her and nails a half-and-half Full Nelson for another count of two.  Nightingale gives her a powerbomb and Hart lands on her rear.  As she pursues her, Hart then pulls her arm and her head smacks into the middle turnbuckles and she delivers a moonsault for the three count.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Julia Hart

Looks like Statlander will face Hart, and we just have to wait and see who will win next week between Skye Blue and Red Velvet (but we know who it’s gonna be, right?).

Lexy Nair talks with Ricky Starks and Big Bill on the challenges put forth by The House of Black, not to mention LFI and FTR wanting title shots.  As far as they are concerned, they are not gonna wrestle any of those three tag teams.  That’s when Nair hits them with the news that Tony Khan says they will deal with all three teams in a four-way match at Full Gear. Starks and Bill are upset that they learn about this before anyone else, yet it doesn’t matter since they will still retain the gold at the PPV.

Paul Wight is at commentary and give no BS for the next match…

Powerhouse Hobbs (with Don Callis and Kyle Fletcher)vs. Jobber Du Jour

I can’t even bother with a Haiku for this match, but enjoy this Spice Roasted Butternut Squash recipe, as Hobbs talks smack to Wight during the match, and a Big Slam ends it.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Powerhouse Hobbs

Now Callis gets on the mic and speaks about how his family is greater than the Briscoes, the Gagnes, the Von Erichs, and the Harts. He then calls out Wight and admits he won the “genetic jackpot” in physicality but lost a lot in the brain department.  He comes out to commentary and tells him to leave Jericho hanging at Full Gear, but Wight is stoic. Callis thinks it’s smart to call him a scared giant, and then send Hobbs at him.  Hobbs tosses the top of the table and Wight quickly stands up ready for a fight.

Wight is definitely quick, and expect lots of “Meat” chants at Full Gear.

Nair speaks with FTR about being on a winning streak, even though after their match on Rampage ended with them getting jumped by The House of Black.   Cash Wheeler says that LFI left them hanging, Starks and Bill took their titles when he was injured, and House of Black jumped them.  Dax Harwood sums it up by adding, “It doesn’t matter if it’s LFI, it doesn’t matter if it’s House of Black, our road to the AEW World Tag Team Championships for a third time starts now. Top guys, out.”

Love the confidence, but we head back to ringside for your Main event, and it’s a six-man tag team match between…

Courtesy of AEW.

Sting, Darby Allin, and Adam Copeland vs. Lance Archer and The Righteous (Vincent and Dutch, with Jake “The Snake” Roberts)

McGuinness says that Copeland, Sting, and Allin have “lost that lovin’ feeling” with a nice Righteous Brothers pun. 

As the bell rings, Dutch starts on Copeland and the Rated R Superstar drops the big man.  Now it’s a tag to Allin and Vincent and Allin’s shoulder is heavily braced.  Vincent targets the shoulder and sets him up for Archer, but Allin quickly backs up to his corner as Sting blind tags himself in.  After he and Archer have a “Woo” off, The Icon takes it to the Murderhawk Monster and sends him over the top ropes to crash outside.

During Picture in Picture, it is chaos as the six men brawl outside the ring.  Sting stares down Roberts at one point and then takes Archer and slams his head onto the steel steps and then tosses him into the barricade and then…

Ads (ARRRGH!!! You Witless Monkeys in the Trunk couldn’t have done it during one of the OTHER matches?  Do you really think doing it here is the best time to break away from the action?!  I expect this ham-handedness from a Monday Night RAW show, but not here!!  Do better!!)

We come back and Sting looks the worse for wear during something that happened in that ad break (DOUBLE ARRGH!!!), and he is an Icon in Peril.  At one point, Vincent whips him into the ropes and Sting sends him down with a shoulder tackle.  He gets the tag to Allin and he attacks with reckless abandon.  Allin goes for the Code Red on Vincent but Dutch clotheslines him from behind, and in the second Picture in Picture he keeps Allin in pain righteously.  They take their time but Allin pushes Vincent into Dutch to create separation and goes for a cover for a count of two.  As he goes for a hot tag, Archer attacks and Copeland sends him into the barricade and then leaps back on the apron.  Allin tags in the Rated R Superstar who cleans house by getting a flying double clothesline on The Righteous, and then tosses them outside as he dives on all three men.

Copeland throws Vincent back in the ring and sets up for the spear, but Archer pulls him out.  Dutch attacks from behind and connects with a slam, but Sting is back in the ring to even the odds.  He and Copeland get Dutch with a Scorpion Death Drop/flying elbow drop double team, and after that, it’s a Stinger Splash as Copeland delivers the spear on Dutch to cover for the one, two, and three.

Your Winners via Pinfall, Darby Allin, Sting, and Adam Copeland

As they celebrate their victory, Cage’s music hits again and they come to stare a hole at them to end the show.

3.5

Final Thoughts:

Things are coming together for the Full Gear PPV match with Copeland, Allin, and Sting ready to take on Cage, Wayne, and Luchasaurus.  El Idolo/Garcia was more fun than I anticipated, and Strong’s “Neck Strong” gimmick is the best thing since ADAMMMM! (not gonna get tired of that, by the way).

We’ll have more coverage and what to expect at next Saturday’s PPV, so see ya next Saturday!