I was a bit in shock when I found out that John Cena was going to have his second singles match after WrestleMania 39 against Solo Sikoa at Crown Jewel.

As we begin the night, Roman Reigns opens the show. Despite his toxic ass, it doesn’t make me forget how impactful his theme music is. BUT… I’m not ignorant to his attitude.

And speaking of attitude, while Roman makes his entrance, LA Knight’s music rightfully interrupts the champ’s ambiance. My brain just remembered that they’re both here for the contract signing for their upcoming match involving the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship.

Ha! I forget too easily sometimes.

LA Knight struts his way to the ring in complete disregard of Roman and Heyman’s presence standing near the entryway. Ha! Ha! Ha! Michael Cole says that Knight didn’t acknowledge Reigns at all. I know I stopped anyway.

It gets even more comical when Heyman dusts off the very chair that was meant for Roman to sit at the head of the table only for LA Knight to take the seat instead.

Ha! It must feel so unbearable for Roman to be sitting on the table’s side. It looks awkward for me too. Things continue to escalate when Knight informs us that the contract states that Reigns will be handing that title over to him, so he’ll gladly sign it.

Heyman is such a weird brat when he throws the pen Knight used back at him, so he could offer the champ a new one.

Roman hasn’t signed the contract yet. He prefers to… warn Knight of what he’s getting into because he’s never had a Championship match before, nor been in the situation he’s currently in. But isn’t that the point? He’s never had a title match, so he deserves one now.

“I’m gonna go gentle on you, sweetheart…” Roman says. I twitched… As Reigns finally signs the contract, the crowd chants: “Roman is scared.” Exactly that. He sits right back down when Knight tells him he’s the head of the table, so acknowledge him.

At some point, it pissed Roman off that he took the time to angrily remove his microphone off the table before flipping it onto Knight. Ha! Ha! Who actually takes the time to do that? The table flipping was one of the most violent ones I’ve seen. No joke.

Roman was preparing a table to put LA Knight through, luckily the Megastar starts to fight back, showing heart and resilience. Sigh… Jimmy just had to be here to defend someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Knight makes sure he pays for it by sending Jimmy through the table.

Santos Escobar & Carlito vs. The Street Profits – Tag Team match

I was amazed by the music upgrade for the Profits given the new persona these boys summoned. I like it.

Anyway, Dawkins and Escobar start this match as Angelo has Santos in a headlock followed by a shoulder tackle. A bunch of acrobatics came out of nowhere like the dramatic individuals they are. When this happens, I forget I’m watching wrestling, not gymnastics.

Santos manages to plant Dawkins with a drop kick prior to tagging Carlito in for a double team. He gets momentarily distracted by Lashley, which allowed Angelo to jump him from behind as you hear Montez screaming like a dying seal. Ha!

Carlito brings the momentum back to the LWO as he soars over the ropes and lands on the Profits. Corey Graves suggested that Santos do it. At least this isn’t another Top Dolla incident. Ha! Ha! Ha!

What’s also funny is Carlito’s face later on when he reacts to Ford screaming like a dying seal again as he chokes Escobar in the center of the ring. Ha! His face says everything.

Montez squishes Santos with a standing frog splash then enters into a cover that I suspect would have granted the Profits the win if it weren’t for Carlito pulling Ford by his ankle as Rey Mysterio watches on from the back.

Side question: Since when did Bobby Lashley get his ears pierced? Ha! I’m flabbergasted that I’m seeing this everywhere I look these days.

Regardless, the Profits are rolling with their hostility leaving Santos no time and space to breathe. That knee strike Escobar delivered to Dawkins rocked him so much that he look a geese’s wobbly neck. Ha! Ha! We are impressed.

Just when the LWO were getting closer to finishing this match, Rey Mysterio is being attacked by Logan Paul backstage. I was hoping so badly I was hallucinating. Because of this, Santos encourages Carlito to check on Rey while he attempts to end this fight.

Only… he doesn’t. Santos wasn’t aware that Dawkins tagged himself in, so the Profits ended up playing a double team with a Revelatory (Revelation move) win.

Winners: The Street Profits

Elsewhere, Roman wonders what kind of belt is Heyman holding. It’s one of those custom-made WWE belts designed for the Green Bay Packers, a football team.

The wise man brought this so he could give it to LA Knight since that will be the closest he or the Green Bay Packers will ever get to becoming champion.

By the way, I still don’t understand what Jimmy is saying when he’s talking as if everyone comprehends “football talk”. At least I know it’s football. That’s all I can tell you.

Reigns wants Jimmy to deal with LA Knight tonight, so he tells Heyman to go make the match official. Jimmy says “yeet,” knowing that Roman doesn’t like that. Neither do I when Jim is the one saying it. Doesn’t feel right anymore.

Logan Paul was asked after he showed respect towards Rey last week, did he attack him tonight? Respect? Respect? I call that restraint. Another “r” word. Whatever that was last Friday wasn’t respect.

Kevin Owens notices that too.

But that’s not the only confrontation he gets. Due to his comment about Theory and Waller having punchable faces, they have a little shouting row. Owens guarantees that he can punch them at the same time. And he does since they were lined up perfectly. Ha! Ha! Idiots.

Kayla Braxton welcomes Dragon Lee. He’s very happy to be here on the blue brand, and someone recognizes that. Cedric Alexander wants a match against Lee since he sees a great competitor.

Shotzi vs. Chelsea Green

This match came to be because Chelsea and Piper were mad that Nick Aldis was making them defend their titles on NXT.

Not to mention, the champs wanted to host Halloween Havoc rather than allow Shotzi and Scarlett to handle it. Shotzi does a great job given how well she mixes with the theme and spirit of Halloween. That’s why she’s hosting it again. Green insulted Shotzi’s costume as Pinhead from the Hellraiser film franchise. Aldis was too happy to grant Shotzi’s wish. Which brings us back to the present.

Right out of the gate, Green drop kicks Shotzi into the corner. She whips her hands as if she’s got this closed and done.

Shotzi retaliates by choking Chelsea with an unorthodox defense. She even cannonballs Chelsea onto the main floor in front of the commentary desk.

Chelsea makes a comeback by following Shotzi onto the second rope then dragging her down head first against the mat.

Shotzi, to Chelsea’s shock, turns things around with an abrupt victorious roll up. That’s what you get when you boast rather than concentrate.

Winner: Shotzi 

John Cena prepares for his upcoming match against the Enforcer of The Bloodline at Crown Jewel. This is a serious moment for Cena given the many bumps, curves and pains that came his way.

Cena fears that for the first time in 20 years, he’s in jeopardy of losing our respect, love and confidence in him. No. Never. That will never happen on my end, and I suspect the audience who are there live feel the same.

Crown Jewel is a must win for Cena, not just a must see. “The time has come to dig deep, the time has come to knuckle up and the time is now to deliver!”

Heyman shows up saying that he has no bad intentions towards John, although, Sikoa plants him either way. That’s why he made sure that Cena’s back was facing the entryway. Note that.

But boy, was Heyman showering John with many compliments. Yet, oddly enough, Heyman says that John’s connection with the fans and powerful tone would have made him another Heyman.

……….

Don’t know about that, sir. Heyman warns that with a Samoan Spike from Solo would cancel Cena’s ability to speak. The one thing Paul assumes is left of the greatest of all time.

Dragon Lee vs. Cedric Alexander

Lee and Alexander were countering each other very well, not allowing themselves to buckle in the early goings of this match.

A chop fest begins between these two Superstars as they attempt to get the other reeling. Alexander was so close to a win with that Oku driver.

It was incredible as Cedric did so well to match Dragon’s speed, even though, he got kicked in the head and stomped on. Lee obtains victory with an inverted DDT so amazing that he gains respect from his opponent, Cedric.

Winner: Dragon Lee 

Damage Control tried to end Bianca Belair’s career given she was out for two months with a dismantled knee, but it’s great to see the EST of WWE back among us looking flawless as usual.

Damage Control weren’t so happy. Ha! That attack on Belair did something to her physically and mentally. She couldn’t do much while she sat at home, other than with her thoughts about how to get back at Damage Control.

Normally, she can brush off ambushes with a smile, but this time she couldn’t let it go. For the first time, she’s been consumed with vengeance. The one thing that helped her wake up in the morning.

She devised a plan with Aldis to get a rematch for the WWE Women’s Championship on Nov 4. Belair also adds that she will be facing Bayley next Friday prior to her title match. Revenge isn’t complete till she takes out all of Damage Control.

LA Knight vs. Jimmy Uso

Side question: Am I the only one wondering about the excessive amount of red that Jimmy is wearing? Nothing wrong with it, just curious about the choice in shade as if he’s becoming worst every week. 

Anyway, the bell rings and we are underway. Jimmy shoulder tackles Knight in the early start of this match. Knight retaliates with a back elbow plus a suplex.

Knight continues his momentum with a sliding drop kick to Jimmy’s head. He also goes as far to deliver a very creative back breaker combined with a Sunset Flip. Jimmy, however, returns the favor with a suplex on the apron.

Jimmy continues with his onslaught as he delivers a harsh hip attack in the corner. The first attack was successful, but the second one, Jimmy collides with a clothesline.

After Jimmy sends LA Knight into the post, the fans chant: “Jimmy sucks!” and I can’t blame them at all. What has this man become? He almost puts Knight away with that Samoan Drop then an Uso Splash.

LA Knight thwarts Jimmy’s attempt at a second Uso Splash with a Superplex then a winning BFT. Delightfully, Jimmy isn’t the only one on the receiving end of a BFT. Roman ventured to spear LA Knight once he came down from the second rope, yet the Megastar had him scouted by dodging the incoming threat, sending the Tribal Chief into the turnbuckles then hammering the final nail with a BFT.

Ha! You thought.

Winner: LA Knight 

 

TOP PHOTO: Roman Reigns, Paul Heyman and LA Knight, contract signing. Courtesy of WWE