Ooh! We haven’t seen Pat McAfee since WrestleMania. And he’s here tonight! Cory Graves was somewhat bothered by that. Ha!

McAfee was simply welcoming us to SmackDown as one does, however, Austin Theory felt like he also needed to make an entrance. Pat’s face was pissed because he just remembered whose music just popped up. Yikes.

Remember their match at WrestleMania? Theory lost that fight. Ha! Both men are wearing the same attire as I and commentary noticed.

According to Austin, he and McAfee have unfinished business since I’m sure he’s still bitter about his loss. Pretty much predicting that he’ll drop Pat right there, yet McAfee hands him a solid burn by mentioning what we’ve all noticed… their clothes.

“I’m pumped that you’re trying to dress like me, and be like me.” said Pat. Regrettably, Theory says that when he wears a tank top, he looks like a “Greek God,” but when McAfee has one on, he looks like someone who flips fries on a daily basis.

I’m not gonna lie, I laughed a little.

Theory assuming that this is his show by calling it Austin Theory Live is false for it is the people’s show. What happened next shocked me because I didn’t realize the specific wording of that sentence until The Rock Dwayne Johnson arrived on SmackDown! What a surprise. It may as well have given me a heart attack.

I was one of the many people who were happy to hear The Rock tell Theory to “Shut his b*tch ass up!” Ha! Ha! Ha! Now, if you could say that a dozen more times that would be great.

The Rock got the entire stadium chanting “You are an asshole.” to Theory. He looked like a child who’s about to cry.

In about three seconds, The Rock will beat Theory’s ass with a spine buster. Ha! Life is good. He follows that up with the People’s Elbow. He also encourages McAfee to deliver one as well.

What a roaring start to the show.

AJ Styles vs. Finn Balor

Balor goes after Styles early following a slight distraction initiated by Damian Priest, who’s on the outside with Dominik Mysterio.

AJ makes a comeback with a swift side Russian leg sweep then a back breaker.

Finn rolls through and delivers a basement drop kick to Styles’ chest. He continues by placing his opponent into a headlock.

Finn and AJ enter into a double collision in the centre of the ring dampening their momentum.

BREAKING NEWS that I wasn’t aware until now, but Damian Priest will face Carmelo Hayes on NXT next week. Whoo!

There were so many attempts and distractions from Priest and Mysterio to prevent Styles from winning that it almost felt like that was the entire match. Nonsensical crap in the background.

Styles miserably fails a Hurricarana from the top since Balor managed to clutch onto the ropes, which resulted in AJ looking kind of foolish.

Dominik paid the price for interfering with a clothesline by Styles on the main floor. Priest also tried, got caught then gets himself and Dom kicked out by the official. Yay!

Just as we thought Styles had an even playing field, of ALL people, Jimmy Uso shows up attempting to run intercession long enough for Balor to roll AJ up for a win.

What the literal hell is going on??! Is Jimmy trying to get back in the good graces of Roman Reigns or muscling his way into Judgment Day?

Winner: Finn Balor 

Anyway, backstage The Rock and Pat McAfee are enjoying each other’s company after earlier. They also bump into John Cena.

As we return our attention to Jimmy, he’s backstage pacing around frantically. We also get a glimpse of Paul Heyman hiding by some equipment watching Jimmy and Finn having a conversation.

Balor thanks Jimmy for the assist, yet he makes it clear that it wasn’t about them. Judgment Day delivered him Styles last week, so Jimmy was returning the favour. Everyone is a liar.

Balor proposes that Jimmy and Jey join The Judgment Day given Jimmy might be missing his brother. Although Jimmy declines, Finn tries to sweeten the deal by mentioning that there’s no Roman in the group.

We head back to the main stage to find the LWO already inside. Since joining SmackDown a year ago given the countless divesting and heartbreaking moments Rey had to endure, being part of the LWO has made his life a bit better.

Santos Escobar comes forward and asks Rey for a title opportunity since the last one didn’t go the way he thought, so Rey accepts. We thought he would have said no.

Things were going well… till The Street Profits and Bobby Lashley come strolling in. They meant what they said about taking over since we have Tag Team divisions crumbling and Rey handing title shots like Oprah. Ha!

The Street Profits vs. Cruz Del Toro & Joaquin Wilde – Tag Team match

Joaquin takes Angelo down with a quick and swift shoulder drop in the middle of the ring. He almost had him if it weren’t for Montez leaping in to stop the count.

Del Toro gets rid of Ford then Dawkins dumps him on the main floor before returning his attention to Joaquin.

A fast tag was made between the Profits as they play a double team on Wilde, a victorious powerbomb neck breaker. But we’re not done yet as Lashley orders Ford and Dawkins to further beat the opposing team.

Escobar and Rey get involved and soon meet a similar fate.

Winners: The Street Profits

LA Knight vs. The Miz – Payback Rematch

The Miz continues to believe that he lost because John Cena guest refereed his match at Payback. Or how he’s tired of LA Knight’s Yeah movement taking over. Jealously and obsession isn’t a good look for you.

Cena did a great job during that match, the same way a legitimate official would. Miz lost because he was outshined by his challenger. Simple as that.

But we all know how bitter people can get. They just keep at it like annoying little gnats.

Miz has Knight in a side headlock, dragging him around the ring. Knight frees himself with a shoulder tackle.

Miz draws Knight in with his whimpering self just so he could drag Knight down face first against the turnbuckle. The audience kept chanting: “Tiny balls!” during some parts. I didn’t realize that at the beginning. Ha! Such a nuisance.

Knight regains control with a beautifully executed neck breaker to Miz. The A-Lister rocks Knight down with a deep knee to his gut. Miz has been rolling the second part of this match.

Knight finally answers the beatings with a whip of a clothesline, a side Russian leg sweep plus a DDT.

Miz almost had Knight with a DDT, but the Megastar held onto the second rope to prevent his head from hitting the mat. Instead, Miz got hurt.

When he concentrates and isn’t overly focused on himself, Miz is a great fighter. There were numerous times he almost sent Knight packing. Regardless of that little mishap from earlier.

Knight hangs Miz across the ropes then finishes him off with a BFT. See? He still won with a regular official. LA Knight knows that too. It doesn’t matter if it’s Seth Rollins, Rey Mysterio, Gunther, or Roman Reigns, he’s coming for gold.

Winner: LA Knight 

Now Solo Sikoa realizes that’s a clear threat, so he wants to dispose of it. Heyman reminds him that those orders only come from the higher ups, that being Reigns.

Paul prefers that Sikoa pays more vigilance to his older brother Jimmy. According to Heyman, he assumes that Jimmy is making deals with Judgment Day.

Despite all that, Sikoa is looking to finish this tonight, which Heyman can’t fathom who gave that order. Ha! Ha! His confusion is always hilarious to watch.

Elsewhere, Adam Pearce meets with Pretty Deadly. He tells Elton Prince that his shoulder is healing well, and he’ll be back in the ring in no time.

However, Prince finds it in him to complain because of the horrors he suffered at the hands of Ridge Holland to even bother with in-ring action.

Asuka vs. Bayley

According to Bayley, everything has been going as she planned it since they made they’re appearance at SummerSlam last year, but then Iyo Sky had to go rogue when she issued a challenge against Asuka for the Women’s Championship.

Quite frankly, I like that she shook things up because why the hell not? Iyo has to defend her title regardless.

During the match, Asuka has been pining Bayley with her striking abilities very neatly. The Empress leaps from the top and drops Bayley with a kick to to the chest.

Asuka looks for a big kick, Bayley catches her on the apron and trips her off. Bayley adds even more hostility by slamming Asuka’s face against the post.

Asuka reverses the tied with a German suplex. A knee to the face plus a sliding kick to Bayley as well.

Asuka is amazing as she quickly gets back on her attack with double knees to Bayley’s face. And when that wasn’t enough to put her away, she transitions into an arm bar.

Bayley counters by dropping Asuka against the apron. She had Asuka for the moment, but Shotzi pops out with a sinister grin as she frightens Bayley away.

That creates space for Asuka to take advantage with a winning back slide pin. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! What was funny after that, Shotzi chasing Bayley to run to the back.

Winner: Asuka

Next week, we’re going to see Iyo Sky defend her title versus Asuka. Also, given what transpired earlier this evening, Rey Mysterio and Santos Escobar will go head-to-head against The Street Profits.

As we conclude the night, we’re joining John Cena on The Grayson Waller Effect. Cena looked like a kid in a candy store, or me in a candy store. So happy.

Waller, just like The Miz, mentions Cena’s poor hosting skills at Payback. I thought we were done with that. Grayson says that John should have sat back and let the stars shine. I reckoned that’s exactly what he was doing when he wasn’t on screen too much.

Every time John tries to speak, Grayson interrupts. What was that he was saying about letting others shine? I guess that doesn’t apply to him.

He goes on to say that Cena hasn’t been the same since he lost to Austin Theory. Blah blah blah. Then he says like a deluded person that Theory whipped The Rock. Ha! Ha! My ribs are breaking.

That starts to piss John off, so he removes his shirt as he’s getting ready for a possible brawl. Right on time, too since Jimmy Uso is now part of the group chat as well.

Ha! John still isn’t able to get one word out. Jimmy hasn’t forgotten that teeth grinning insult Cena said about Jey being the wrong Uso who quit.

Pfft. Ha! Ha! Cena’s face when Jimmy yanked the mic from his hand. Again. He was like “What the hell? That wasn’t necessary.”

Jimmy still thinks no one wants to see John. They came to see him. Is everyone delusional today??

He didn’t appreciate the jab from two weeks ago, so Jimmy tells John if you’re not going to do “it” then leave. And I presume “it” means fighting him. Sigh… things continue to go to hell once Solo Sikoa descends on stage

Sikoa did say he’ll finish this foolishness tonight, sooooo… he pretends that he’s going to Samoan Spike Jimmy only to deliver a Super Kick to Cena.

As both brothers hammer away at John while Waller is simply sitting there like an asshole watching, AJ Styles rushes out to assist.

Cena sends Sikoa over the ropes as Styles delivers a pele kick to Jimmy. Solo momentarily left his brother to fend for himself just as Cena gives him one of hell of a Five Knuckle Shuffle.

He was about to perform the AA, but Heyman told Solo to save Jimmy. But who cares about that? John STILL hasn’t spoken yet. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

 

TOP PHOTO: Cena and The Rock hugging. Courtesy of WWE