Ha! It hasn’t even been five minutes into Jey Uso’s introduction that Roman Reigns’ theme music started playing abruptly. He can’t even give Jey some time. Wow.

Although Roman has become more unbearable than his prior self, I can’t sit and lie as I inform you how much I still love his music. It’s a banger, that’s it.

Regardless, Reigns attempts to brainwash us into believing that the only reason why we like the Usos is because of his arrogant ass. Ha! Ha! I loved the twins before I even knew of Roman’s existence, back when he was part of The Shield with Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose.

Reigns finds it odd that Jey Jey is here opening up his show like he’s the Tribal Chief. Again, taking credit for Jey being the Main Event, the right hand man and whatnot. Let me ask you all something, is it righteous for the person who presents another person with opportunities to continue taking credit even after the success of their underling has surpassed expectations? Especially when they’re being amazingly self-courteous?

Opposing Roman’s irritating insight, Jey says that he’s by the Tribal Chief’s side as his right hand because he believed in Reigns. His ability to lead the family. Unfortunately, he soon broke the bound they had due to selfishness and possibly greed… plus I’m starting to think maybe fear as well.

Jey never wanted to be the Chief, but that perspective changed drastically once Roman sent Jimmy to the hospital. I say the annoyance started way before that, but I digress.

Reigns likes to act like he’s got Jey’s whole character figured out, yet he still questions why his cousin remains willing to fight him at SummerSlam. Just like Roman assumes that Jey doesn’t get that it’s his fault for robbing Jimmy of an opportunity at becoming the right hand man apparently as opposed to Roman not understanding why Jey truly believes he’ll win.

One of those questions have a heartwarming reason, and that’s out of love and real respect. Guess which one I’m referring to. Everyone else can clearly see what’s going on with Roman, why can’t he? There’s no shame in admitting your faults. That’s what’s makes us genuinely better than those who pretend to be.

Jey has already beaten Roman when he pinned him as he became the first one to do so in almost three years. And he’ll do it again. Bam! The way Jey strutted out of there was hilarious. Ha! Who walks out swinging their arms and bending their legs like that? Only Jey Jey.

Later on before the first match starts, Grayson Waller mocks Jey by predicting that he’ll lose at SummerSlam against Roman, but Waller would be more than happy to rub some Grayson Waller Effect onto “Little Jey.” Naturally, Jey didn’t appreciate that as he sarcastically laughed along with Waller only to deliver an uppercut shortly after. Ha! Well deserved.

“That’s the Jey Uso Effect.” says Michael Cole

Rey Mysterio vs. Santos Escobar – US Championship Invitational Finals match

May the best man win, was the atmosphere radiating from these two men as they respectfully shook hands before getting into the fight.

Escobar starts to work on Rey’s left leg, s smart tactic to remove the speed that Mysterio so evidentially has. At first, I didn’t understand why the camera was shifting towards the VIP section, but when I saw Austin Theory with his non-existent friends, I knew he was scouting.

Given how much Santos idolizes Rey, commentary hopes that regardless of that, he’ll keep his focus on the battle. Quite frankly, he does as he performs a beautiful takedown to the dismay of Mysterio.

Things start to heat up once the two men begin to exchange slaps. Rey has Santos in position for the 619, yet Escobar roll out in time. Or so he thought. Rey leaps and crashes into Escobar as Theory continues to look on.

Rey almost has Escobar pinned down after a crossbody from the second rope. Santos launches himself like a missile with shoulder tackles, pushing Rey down.

Mysterio hilariously misses with a Baseball slide as Santos crawls out of harm’s way. Ha!

Santos’ suicide dive caused Rey to hit the main floor at great impact that may have injured him as a medical physician takes a look at him. During that time, Escobar simply waits.

Alas, with that wait, we end up finding out that Rey is no longer able to compete, so the win goes to Escobar. A bitter sweet victory since Santos didn’t want to win this way as he kneels and hugs Rey profoundly.

Winner: Santos Escobar

Well… I’m astonished. Sonya Deville and Chelsea Green actual hold the Women’s Tag Team Championships… I don’t know what to say honestly.

I’m here trying to pay attention to Bianca Belair only to be interrupted by Green and Deville. Oof. What the hell happened?

Because their presence didn’t just bother me, it bothered Belair, she challenges them to a match. In addition, Charlotte Flair teams up with Bianca in order to not be outnumbered prior to their SummerSlam match.

This shocks Belair since she didn’t want to, yet that only compelled Flair more to make it official by talking to Adam Pearce. Sneaky.

Ashante Thee Adonis of Hit Row vs. LA Knight

The moment the bell rings, Knight gets distracted by Top Dolla who’s wandering a bit too close to the main stage that Adonis strikes him from behind.

I’m not sure what’s going on with Hit Row, but their presence is sorely lacking every time you see them. Ever since Dolla went over the rope wrong, the hype has deteriorated.

Knight called Top Dolla “Uncle Phil” because of his bad rapping skills. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oof. Oof. Oof.

Ashante has Knight reeling for the majority of this match as Dolla delivers a cheap shot while the referee was distracted by B-Fab.

Knight ducks out of harm and delivers a neck breaker to Adonis. Dolla is on the apron as Knight decides to rock him one. He returns his attention towards his opponent then performs the BFT for the victory.

Winner: LA Knight

Since Grayson Waller has too much of a tendency of running his mouth, he requested a match against Jey, which he surprisingly agrees to almost happily. “Official yeet.” Pearce said. Arg… yikes. Never say that again, please.

Bianca Belair & Charlotte Flair vs. Sonya Deville & Chelsea Green – Tag Team match

I don’t know what these girls were thinking, but Green and Deville going up against two of the greatest in the game is a fool’s wish. Belair brutally shoulder tackles Green onto her backside.

However, regardless of the clear unbalanced levels of talent, Chelsea and Sonya get along unlike Belair and Flair. Charlotte quickly tags herself in just as Bianca was about to do a standing Moonsault.

Flair is highly effective as she slams Chelsea’s face against the mat repeatedly while crushing her opponent’s head between her legs.

Bianca powerslams both Green then Deville as easily as it is to put your pants on in the morning. Sonya does manage to switch receiving blows in her favor by cornering Belair then proceeds to punch her in the gut.

Bianca shows off her athleticism by drop kicking Deville then goes into a kip up.

Due to Green’s sudden appearance in the ring as the illegal player, she distracts Belair long enough, so Deville could regain some strength with a drop kick of her own.

Deville and Green try to suplex Bianca as a double team, yet Belair reverses into a double suplex against the Tag Champions.

Once Flair is back, she crossbodies both Chelsea and Sonya then proceeds to deliver chops to Green’s chest. After a massive clothesline, we didn’t think that Chelsea would remain in the fight following that.

Flair looks to do the Figure 8, yet Deville kicks her from behind into the second turnbuckle. Belair tags herself in and is rolling from the get-go with shoulder tackles, drop kicks and a vertical suplex.

Belair was so close to winning as she prepares for the KOD only for Charlotte to tag herself, delivers a big boot to Chelsea, who’s on Belair’s shoulders then covers her for the victory.

Huh? Belair is in confusion…

Winners: Bianca Belair & Charlotte Flair

Backstage, Iyo Sky questions Bayley as to why she left her suddenly during her match last week against Flair. Although, Bayley mentions how long it takes for a valet to get their car keys, she eventually admits that she was scared of Shotzi’s unhinged message.

More so that the ballsy badass snuck another message into Bayley’s bag with the words written “Bayley, see you soon.” on it. Ha! Even Asuka finds this funny. She warns Iyo that she’ll regret cashing in her Money in the Bank contract if she follows through with the idea.

Sky respects Asuka, so she isn’t afraid of going up to the champ’s face.

Breaking news, SummerSlam has added the Battle Royal to the upcoming evening for our amusement. In order for it to mean something according to LA Knight is by having him be part of the roster.

Sheamus wants a spot too, so Pearce places both men in. Plus, next week Sheamus and Knight will go one-on-one to gain momentum before SummerSlam.

Karrion Kross vs. Karl Anderson of The O.C.

Given how this is a personal matter, Anderson decides to handle this mess on his own without his friends. Kross has been stalking The O.C. for a while now because the cards said so. Anderson even goes after Karrion as quickly as possible once the bell went off.

Karl drives Karrion backwards into the corner with a whipping of uppercuts to the jaw. Following a neck breaker, Karl immaturely thought he had Kross beat, yet he kicked out.

A slight distraction from Scarlett as she grabs Anderson’s leg allows Karrion to surprise Karl with a kick to the back of his thigh.

Kross manhandles Anderson as he drops him on the back of his neck with a back suplex. Karrion measures his target then delivers a sharp Krosshammer.

Karrion captures a victory, obviously, with a move he calls the Final Prayer as he growls AJ Styles’ name a second time.

Despite the win, Karrion suffocates Anderson with the Krossjacket as he yells at the camera “Look what you did, AJ!” Lucky for Karl, Michin, Gallows and Styles arrive, forcing Kross to break the hold and retreat with Scarlett.

Winner: Karrion Kross

Jey Uso vs. Grayson Waller

Jey had Grayson for a moment till the five count. Waller takes advantage of that and places Jey Jey in a headlock.

Waller hits down low at Jey’s legs then proceeds to trample his gut with his foot.

What came as both weird but funny was when Grayson headbutts Jey, yet he doesn’t budge rather Waller does backwards. Jey simply rubs his forehead. Ha! Jey follows that up with a powerslam plus a stomp to the face.

Just as Jey was hyping himself up for a hip toss in the corner of the ring like Jimmy or their father Rikishi do, Roman antagonizes us by making an entrance with Sikoa and Heyman at his corrupted side.

Due to this interruption, Waller takes the opening with a knee to Jey’s jaw. Reigns sit on a chair that came out of nowhere as he watches the match.

Jey momentarily creates space, but that’s immediately destroyed by Waller’s sickening right hand followed by an elbow drop.

I can’t even with Grayson as he poorly attempts to imitate the People’s Elbow, a move made famous by The Rock, luckily for everyone watching, Jey avoids the incoming attack and Samoan Drops him.

Jey was hoping to do that hip toss against, yet he misses. Waller comes in with the Rolling Stunner, yet he catches the end of a Super Kick instead.

OOHH! I didn’t see that spear from Jey coming. It was very well done right in front of Reigns. Ha! Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.

Jey delivers a victorious Uso Splash to Waller. Yay!!

The celebrations were cut short once Solo entered the ring and starts beating Jey up. Roman even allows him to Samoan Spike his older brother… which he misses since Jey returns fire with a Super Kick. From there, Roman slides into the fight.

Jey SPEARS Roman out of existence!! Oh my God! Yess, please. He almost had Reigns for a moment, but Sikoa comes back into the fray, and it’s nonsense on their part.

sigh…

Winner: Jey Uso

 

TOP PHOTO: Jey Uso beaten on the mat by Sikoa and Reigns. Courtesy of WWE