We’re starting off like we’ve started many Dynamites off…
Orange Cassidy vs. Kyle Fletcher (International Championship Match)
Fletcher looks like he raided Ultimo Dragon’s wardrobe. Cassidy looks like he raided Sally Ann.
If you’ve seen one Orange Cassidy Curtain Jerker Championship Match you’ve seen them all. Difference here is Fletcher actually starts off hot but mocks the hands in the pockets and pays the price, because reasons.
Cassidy REALLY botches a Diving DDT on the apron and no one calls him out on it. Say what you want about Corey Graves but he calls out the BS.
Cassidy goes for the pockets and I die a little inside.
This in theory should be an exciting match but I’m so bored. Those who kvetch about Roman Reigns’ title run should complain the same about Cassidy, because the two belts have been defended just about the same number of times without a switch.
Oh and we get a PiP break, just in case you were curious.
Cassidy turns a Suplex into a Slumdog and then reverses another move into a DDT (no botch this time).
Excalibur talks up the Blackjack Battle Royale. Someone may want to check if TK has a gambling problem…
Action continues and for a brief second I see static. May very well be my Shaw feed though…
Boring match with the stupid weak offence and I’m just completely disconnected from this match. Horribly boring. END THIS! PLEASE!
Winner: Orange Cassidy
More than 15 minutes of my life, once again, wasted by watching an Orange Cassidy match.
Backstage, Renee Paquette talks Ricky Starks, who talks down the Bullet Club Gold until the duo attack, quite viciously I might add. Put Cassidy’s belt on one of these guys IMMEDIATELY.
Backstage we hear from Jack Perry in a pretty darn good soliloquy.
To the ring we go for an FTR promo which was freaking awesome. Shots fired at the TNA alumni (by name, might I add).
Before FTR can leave though, Mark Briscoe comes out. Dax asks for a handshake as he apologizes for the piledriver but gets slapped instead. Some pushing and shoving later, Briscoe leaves the ring, making it look like there’s tension. The heels try to greet Briscoe with open arms and get much the same treatment from the frustrated Briscoe.
We then head backstage for Renee Paquette talking with Sammy Guevara. Renee offers the lay-down $ on behalf of MJF, but Sammy says no.
House of Black vs. Los Joberos (AEW Trios Championship Match)
Lucha tag rules apply as the Dealer’s Choice.
Metalike is the former Gran Metallink.
The lighting around the ring looks freaking amazing and really adds to the atmosphere.
HOB takes advantage of the rules at various times and they look absolutely awesome. Quick tags or ducks out of the ring to switch.
Brody King dominates his Cruiserweight opponents until we get to the Lucha Trainwreck spot outside the ring.
Buddy Matthews gets the Standing Cloverleaf on Fox, who gets the ropes but that means nothing at all. His partners lock in their own submissions for the dominant win.
Winners: House of Black
Backstage, Blackpool Combat Club, led by Danielson, cuts an intense promo.
Back from break, MJF is out and gives a shot to Tony Schiavone, then spits on a fan (obviously a plant). He then cuts one of his usual tremendous promo. He brings up his soon arriving free agency for gits and shiggles.
Eventually, Darby Allin wanders out and I’m starting to wonder if it’s Darby that lays down and ends up turning heel.
MJF ends Allin’s talking with a simple kick to the balls. He gets ready to clock Allin with the ring until Guevara runs out. Perry then slowly comes out and delivers a good Lariat to MJF before picking up the gold.
Taya Valkyrie vs. Lady Frost
As much as some know Lady Frost from her time in Impact and on the indies, this is a squash disguised as a competitive match.
Jade and her henchpeople come down the ramp midway through the match.
Good back and forth action and all credit goes to Valkyrie for giving Frost room to move, including hitting a really cool front flip into Cannonball (best way I can describe it), but Taya shows off her power very well at a few junctures. Glam Slam (aka Road to Valhallah / Jaded) gets the duke. Jade’s reign has gone too long as well, but Taya doesn’t feel like the right one to take the gold.
Winner: Taya Valkyrie
Backstage, Tony Khan announces Chicago as the host for the first Collision ep. I guess we’ll hear Cult of Personality soon enough.
Backstage, Alex Marvez catches up with Adam Page (still sporting the eyepatch FWIW).
Next up is the contract signing for Adam Cole and Chris Jericho. Cole is out first with Roderick Strong. Jericho is out second with his various leeches. Cole tears Jericho to shreds on the mic and gets a “sign it, b****” chant started. Good stuff.
Jericho stalls, shows a video of Britt Baker being decimated, then does his slimeball routine well, signs, then notes that he’s got a team of five with him while Cole has only Strong in his corner. Cole says he has someone else in his corner, and then introduces Sabu. I’m really… not sure how to react to this one. Sabu is even older than Jericho (IIRC) and is certainly more broken down, but used in a limited capacity could be effective.
Roderick Strong vs. Daniel Garcia
This feels like a step down for Strong, but makes sense.
Good strike exchange to start but the PiP breaks up my interest (shocking, I know). Back from break, Garcia does some sort of goofy dance thing. Remember when it seemed like he was going to leave the JAS and become a megaface?
Strong does his best to pull the match up to respectability but Garcia just can’t be taken seriously anymore. Various backbreakers from Strong. Uranage from Garcia gets two. Sharpshooter from Garcia doesn’t get the win. Gutbuster by Strong followed by End of Heartache gets the duke.
Winner: Roderick Strong
We get a quick look at Willow beating Mercedes Mone in NJPW. Willow sounds fangirly terrible on the mic.
Lucha Bros vs. BCC (ROH Tag Team Championship Match)
Danielson is on commentary and my cable goes out.
Back just in time to see…
Winners: Lucha Bros.
Post match, the Young Bucks go to work on Castagnoli with Thigh Slappers. They escape through the crowd, however, before Jon Moxley and Danielson can get to the ring. Mox cuts a promo, promising the most violent match in AEW history, which is saying something.
So was it a good show? No. Dynamite continues to suffer from the horrid Cassidy title run and the predictably too-long matches. Not every bout needs to bleed over a commercial break. FTR was strong but their opposition is so freaking comical it’s downright sad. Highlight of the show was the Cole/Jericho confrontation and House of Black is a refreshing change of pace, but otherwise a lot of this was skippable.
See you some other time.
