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AEW Rampage: Squeezing the Juice out of Andretti

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

Juice Robinson and Action Andretti Face off on AEW Rampage

It’s Friday night, and you know what that means?

Well, yes, celebrate that Donald J. Trump was indicted (or plan an insurrection [again], but really…don’t do either just yet).

It’s time for AEW Rampage and since there is a Supercard of Honor going on by Ring Of Honor, I am just going to give you the basics from the Chaifetz Arena at St. Louis, MO., where Excalibur, Chris Jericho, Tony Schiavone, and Jim Ross have the call.

So let’s start with…

Courtesy of AEW

Sammy Guevara (w/Tay Melo) vs. Konosuke Takeshita

Jack Perry and Darby Allin look on at the match, since they were all involved in interrupting MJF’s re-Bar Mitzvah.

Takeshita looks strong and manages to stay on offense throughout the match, but Tay grabs his leg on the outside, and that interference allows Guevara to nail a high knee and he delivers the GTH for the win.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Sammy Guevara

We have the latest episode of QTV, and Ross replies as I did;  “Really?”

The gist is that Powerhouse Hobbs is the TNT Champion and who his next challenger will be.  Also, QT Marshall’s finisher is now the “Dirt Sheet Driver.” 

Riveting.

Matt Hardy and Ethan Page are backstage with Lexy Nair and All Ego will face off on Hook.  Hardy oversaw every line of the contract and Page is happy with it… but he winks as Page signs on his back.

Huh. What’s in the contract, I wonder.

We’ll find out next week on AEW Dynamite, because next up is the…

Courtesy of AEW

Kings of the Black Throne (Malakai Black and Brody King, with Julia Hart) Vs. Best Friends (Beretta and Chuck Taylor)

This is a very straightforward tag match.  The House was up on their offense but then it all goes downhill as King put Taylor through a table and then Trent hit Brody with a chair. Black kicked the chair into Trent’s face, and the ref has lost all control so he calls it and it’s a…

Double Disqualification

As Malakai and Brody brought Chuck into the ring to do more damage, Orange Cassidy’s music hit and he came out to help, only to be attacked by Buddy Matthews, and Dante’s Inferno by Black and King sends a message to the Best Friends as The House of Black stood tall to end the segment.

Swerve says his words have meaning in his feud with Keith Lee and this blood feud between the two men is far from over

Now we have…

Courtesy of AEW

Taya Valkyrie vs. Marina Shafir

Jade Cargill, Leila Gray, “Smart” Mark Sterling, and St. Louis local Tootie Lynn (who’s been featured on NWA programming previously) came out to watch the match.  Just to stay consistent, here is a Haiku in Review™:

*ahem*

Valkyrie’s Problem

It gets solved as she goes to

The Road to Valhalla.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Taya Valkyrie

After the match, Sterling sends Tootie to the ring to serve Valkyrie with papers for a lawsuit on copyright infringement or some such legal nonsense about her using Cargill’s finisher (even though she’s used it long before her).  Well, Valkyrie handles it as well as can be expected… by delivering Tootie to the Road to Valhalla.  she dares the TBS champ to climb in the ring, and Cargill almost grants her wish but Grey and Sterling keep her at bay.

Anna Jay in Lexy Nair calls out Julia Hart and tells the “spooky bitch” she will choke her out.

There is some serious bad blood here, and I am all for it.

Mark Henry presents us with a video package of Juice Robinson as he explains how he has tunnel vision and the focus he will have as he tunes up for his match with Action Andretti.

Got it?  Good.  Because It’s Time for the Main Event with…

Courtesy of AEW

“Rock Hard” Juice Robinson vs. Action Andretti

Robinson calls Andretti “Ricky” throughout the whole match to taunt Starks.  Andretti is on top of the “Rock Hard” Bullet Club member, but it isn’t long before he keeps Andretti grounded.  Andretti comes back with his signature aerial assault and then nails a springboard clothesline, and follows with a tornado DDT for a two count.  But it isn’t long before a leg lariat by Robinson and his Juice is Loose finisher secure the Rock Hard Robinsion the one, two, and three over Andretti.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Juice Robinson

After the match, Robinson went to piledrive Andretti when Ricky Starks comes from backstage and made the save.  He runs Robinson out of the arena as the show fades to black.

AEW Rampage - 03/31/2023
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Final Thoughts:

A good setup for some burgeoning feuds, but nothing too earth-shattering on this episode.

In any case, enjoy your ‘Mania weekend, and see you in seven!

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