Greetings and salutation! I am back with this week’s report for Slam Wrestling. On this weeks show we will see Mickie James defending the Knockouts championship against Gisele Shaw who has something to prove since she declared herself a singles wrestler. We will also see Jonathan Gresham go up against KUSHIDA in what could be a show stealing match. Callihan will take on Rhino after Rhino questioned Callihan why he even wants to be part of The Design. All in all this should be a good show as we inch closer and closer to Sacrifice from St. Clair College in Windsor, Ontario on March 24, 2023. Without further ado, let’s get to it.

The show started with a recap of last weeks amazing Bullet Club versus Motor City Machine Gun’s match and we see the full setup of Mickie James vs Gisele Shaw. We get right to business….

Bully Ray Talks

Bully Ray comes out and is ready to talk. Ray talks about what he did to Tommy Dreamer at No Surrender last month. Ray talks about the challenge that Dreamer laid out against him on social media on a Busted Open Match. Ray said this was a non-challenge because the doctors haven’t cleared Dreamer to compete just yet and there was no way that this match would happen anytime soon.

Santino Marella interrupts Ray and really got some humour in while trying to keep Dreamer’s injury legitimate. After some back and forth with the two, Marella made the match between Tommy Dreamer and Bully Ray official for Sacrifice on March 24.

Bhupinder Gujjar comes out and was talking in Hindi. Santino and Gujjar team up in a war of words against Bully. Marella eventually books a match between the Gujjar and Ray to kick off Impact.

Bhupinder Gujjar VS Bully Ray

Ray really unloaded on Gujjar throughout the match. Ray toseed Gujjar around and taught him a lesson in something you’d teach someone a lesson in. As Gujjar gained some of the upper hand, Ray begged and pleaded for Gujjar to hit him. Gujjar then went for a punch but it was a fake-out and eventually blocked a punch from Ray and hit a series of dropkicks. Gujjar went to the ropes but Ray was right there. Back on the mat, both men were on their feet and Ray took off his chain to hit Gujjar with. Gujjar dropkicked Ray which made Ray drop his chain. Gujjar picks up the chain but Ray Low Blows Gujjar for the DQ loss.

Winner: Bhupider Gujjar via DQ

After the match, Ray laid a beating on Gujjar and Tommy Dreamer eventually came down to make the save. Dreamer fought Ray off and set Ray up for a Death Valley Driver but Masha Slamovich came from behind and hit Dreamer with a Low Blow. This caused Mickie James to come down and started clearing house until Bully Ray began choking her out but Dreamer came back in the ring with a  chair in hand and sent both Ray and Slamovich packing to the back.

Somewhere in some desert we see PCO who is ranting against Eddie Edwards. PCO is angry and eventually says that Edwards didn’t kill the monster and he is ready for a fight against Edwards.

Josh Alexander was in the back with Rich Swann. Alexander formally asked Swann to be his partner at Sacrifice. Steve Maclin walked up and told Alexander that he volunteers to be the third partner because he wants to ensure that Alexander doesn’t get hurt in that match before his match at Rebellion. Alexander told Maclin that Frankie Kazarian is in fact the third partner for his team.

Rhino (w/ Heath) VS Callihan (w/ The Design)

The match was two guys just beating each other up. As the match went on, both men brawled to the outside. Both men were brawling on the outside and Rhino went for a huge chop but Callihan moved out of the way and Rhino hit the ring post. Both men stick to fighting outside and Callihan eventually hits Rhino with a Russian Leg Sweep on the ramp.

Back from the break, Rhino was in control of the match and he hits Callihan with a TKO which lead to a 2-count. As Rhino was setting up for his next move, Callihan grabbed the hair of Rhino and yanked him right down on the mat. Callihan was now in firm control of the match and hit Rhino with a few Lariat’s. As Callihan couldn’t put Rhino away he went to the book of cheating. Callihan went to bite Rhino then ran to the ropes but Angels grabbed him by the foot. Callihan went to see why Angels did this and as he confronted him, Kon hit Callihan with a chair over the head. Callihan was down and out and this lead to a Gore by Rhino for the win.

Winner: Rhino

After the match, Callihan was left puzzled at what just happened. Deaner was just smiling.

Backstage, Dango and Santino Marella were chatting. Try Miguel walked up and was complaining about not being booked last month at No Surrender. Marella talks about a possible X-Division match at Sacrifice and brings u several names as a possible opponent.

Zicky Dice pushes Johnny Swinger into the frame. Dice is still looking for a Tomato can to beat in the ring. Miguel didn’t like being interrupted and threatened to beat them up but then backed down. Swinger asked Dango to do the job for him but Dango said that the only job he is there to do was to be the Assistant Director of Authority for Santino Marella.

Deaner was seen explaining to Callihan that what had just happened was step 6 of the 7 Deadly Steps for joining The Design.

Jordynne Grace VS Alex Gracia

Here was your weekly squash match of the week. Grace won quickly with a Grace Driver.

Winner: Jordynne Grace

Joe Hendry is seen telling a story to some folks backstage. Moose walks up and Hendry announced that Dancing Moose has arrived. Myers attacked Hendry from behind and Moose joined in on the fun.

Bullet Club’s, Ace Austin and Chris Bey were walking backstage flashing their newly won Impact Tag Team Championships. KENTA is with them. They walk up to Josh Alexander, Rich Swan, and Frankie Kazarian. A 6-Man Tag Team Match was made for next week.

KUSHIDA VS Jonathan Gresham

The match started with back and forth grappling between the two. After a series of grappling, both men shake hands and they get right back into trying to one up one another. Both men clenched and gripped hands as they tried to win the mat match. KUSHIDA eventually went for a Hoverboard Lock but Gresham was able to escape. KUSHIDA went for another handshake but this one wasn’t as sincere as the first one so Gresham slapped it away. KUSHIDA stomped on Gresham’s hand.  The two went back to wrist locks and mat submissions but once again they are at a stalemate.

KUSHIDA hit a German Suplex on Gresham but couldn’t get a bridge pin as Gresham turned this straight into a Kimura. KUSHIDA got out and quickly stood up because of Gresham’s now injured hand from the earlier stomp. KUSHIDA countered this into an armbar but Gresham rolled back to the ropes for a break in the hold.

As the match kept going, the two men continuously found themselves in wrist locks, armbars, and roll-up attemps. Gresham got a few La Magistral Cradles. After Gresham continued to work KUSHDA’s arm, both men ended up with injured arms in the match which severely hindered their usual gameplan. Both men kept finding themselves in stalemates but KUSHIDA ran at Gresham jumped in the air and was able to lock in a Hoverboard lock from the air. to make Gresham Submit

Winner: KUSHIDA

Eddie Edwards is driving out to the desert where PCO is calling him out. Later on we see PCO hitting a rock with a shovel

Killer Kelly comes out to the ring with a mic and instantly called out Taylor Wilde. Wilde made her creepy entrance to the Impact Zone. Wilde told Kelly to draw a card but Kelly refused. Wilde eventually pulled a card for her and it was the Tower. Wilde told Kelly that chaos is coming. KiLynn King came out and attacked Kelly with a chair.

After the attack in the back, Kelly is seen walking around tending to her head from the attack. The Death Dollz teleported into frame and said that witches can’t be trusted. Rosemary agreed to a match against Wilde and King but if they retain, Wilde and King cannot continue to practice magic. Valkyrie and Jessika broke out into some song with the words that Witches get Stitches.

Back in the Desert Eddie Edwards and PCO fight. This is a full on cinematic match. Edwards and PCO were brawling. PCO hit an inverted DDT on Edwards which took him out. PCO was now dragging Edwards to the spot he was buried earlier this year. PCO grabbed the shovel and was about to hit Edwards but a mystery person drives up and runs over PCO. Edwards jumps into the car as PCO is laid out.

Impact Knockout’s Championship: Mickie James (c) VS Gisele Shaw (w/ Jai Vidal & Savannah Evans)

Deonna Purrazzo was on commentary for this match. Shaw got the match started as she tossed James to the ground. Shaw with a Baseball slide but she missed and James hit a Neckbreaker. James now going for an Irish whip but Shaw stops it and reverses it whipping James to the corner. Shaw now with the double knees on James. Shaw couldn’t keep the advantage as James came right back and hit a Lou Thesz Press on Shaw. Evans jumped up on the apron to distract James to break the Press. This distraction gave Shaw the opening and she punched James with some nasty chops. Shaw ran to the corner where James was out but James hits Shaw with a Back Elbow and followed that up with a Hurrcarana.

James was now in control of Shaw as she hit a Flapjack on Shaw who rolled to the outside of the ring. James kicks up and runs to the top rope. James hits a dive from the rope to the outside on Evans and Vidal. This distraction gave Shaw the time to recoup. Shaw hits James with a European Uppercut which almost gave us a new Knockouts Champion. James gets back up and went for a Mick Kick but Shaw ducked and hit a Superkick on James. Shaw not measured James and ran for a Knee Strike but missed which James went for a MickDT but Vidal jumps on the apron to distract James while Evans distracted the referee.  Shaw with a rollup on James. As Shaw was on the apron, Purrazzo ran from the commentary desk to pull Vidal down and push Shaw and James from their rollup to give James the advantage in the rollup which was what she needed to get the win to retain.

Winner: AND STILL Knockouts Champion; Mickie James  

Next week on Impact TV:

  • Jonathan Gresham & Mike Bailey vs. Crazzy Steve & Black Taurus
  • Steve Maclin vs. Heath
  • Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Death Dollz (c) vs. The Coven
  • Bullet Club vs. Josh Alexander, Rich Swann, & Frankie Kazarian
2.5

Impact TV: March 9, 2023

This was the weakest episode of Impact that I’ve watched in a long time. The positive is that this did progress storylines but I am not personally invested in some of the stories as we head to Sacrifice. What saved this show was KUSHIDA/Gresham and Shaw/James. Outside of that, nothing was must watch and this overall episode of Impact was missable.